Huh

            was sitting on the pothad decided not to let liknowleum have their way with himaverted his eyes raised them up and   saw  no daddylonglegs   fat chanceno chance they were spawn of appleseed  who she  remained his steadfastcompanion for more than a year through a bleak winter before surreptitiouslystealthily disappearing   not a goodbye  breaking his heart into tiny pieces

seeing none in the bathroom he ventured throughout the house only to discover one where usually they proliferatedfreaked out his granddaughters Momma! Why does Grampa have spiders in his house? Why do human beings prevail eradicate murder insects who are beneficial only living their lives  not interrupting theirs

he found one

                in the bedroom above the head of the bed where on cold evenings he ran an electric blanket

had to believe radiant heat

appleseed was hardier

                          stayed tucked in the corner between the wall and ceiling above the sink  that said  he was struggling and throughout that winter he took three hot baths a day to keep functioning

    bathroom door closed

was pretty steamy

could be why she stuck around

 

no matter  she was a comfort during his abject discomfort

1514,  Wednesday,  31  12. 25

he liked the piece the part he played

                                         hed written that on an original yellow 3M Post-It its stickiness lapsed

a bookmarker in Hunter S Thompsons paperback Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

he liked the piece the part he played

                                         it bears repeating

looked around

he was surrounded by him

if he was removed from the studio someone saw a photo of him a rare commoditydidnt like being photographeddidnt posehad to be candid theyd know him

                                      like he knew artists

when he witnessed their canvases sculptures  read their books poems tracts

had balls to reveal themselves  quietly

                                                 some sought bullshit celebrity

an infection

  cancer

while others let their work say all that need to be saidDon ask

                                                                       had to ask   didnt get it

Fuckya

 

You would say that to someone who expressed interest in your work?

 

 

Are you ignoring me?

 

You’re ignoring me . .

. . Tacenda

Things better left unsaid.

 

    Jah asshole

no fuckin idea, 21st Century

1426,  Wednesday,  31  12. 25

tacenda  Bob Dylan, The Band  Nothing Was Delivered  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xLfbx6MK6s & Bob Dylan  We Better Talk This Over  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vvbhzoo13Gc

. . . Gonzo . .

. . Careful  Really

                        Hunter S Thompsons terroritory  not to be confused with territory

Use gonzo  deploying the Sacred

                                       Treading on Sanctity

I get it I understand. Take a look. she handed him the book had to treat herself to it for Christmas despite it making her Santas list  no one steppedup to gift her

paging through it  the artwork

                                   Awwjeez freakin clever                                                                

read some text

                  Freakin informative

 

Methinks Hunter woud approve

Right.

        Not sacrilegious at all, I know you affection for Hunter Thompson.

Jah

     A hero  A mentor

First dose many years ago  Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas  A beatup paperback copy from JD  February NineteenNinetyeight

                       Sorry to say I cant see JDs face  We worked together

Me in the office amid eight women we were all lefthanded  he was in maintenance

He inscribed it

                 Abandon All Hope ye who enter into book reviews for beer & bullets . . . . from Shit House to Random House . . . . it is people like us that sow the seeds of strange and fatal compulsion . . . .

Paperback includes illustrations by Ralph Steadman  A fuckin classic

Depp starred in the film

I wasnt sure Id take it in

Im pleased I did

1115,  Wednesday,  31  12. 25

https://www.jessieggers.com/gonzo-ichthyology-a-graphic-guide/

https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/hunter-s-thompson-quotes-wake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiTllYeJc48

they visit with him in his dreams

                                             and sometimes     terrify him

last night

          he wouldnt call them nightmares there is no such thing as a nightmare

a belief he held in kind with Miguel Angel Asturias’ Mulata

                                                                Life is life. There is no good life or bad life.

then they leave him

                     leave him to analyse what they shared together because                

no one other than himself can intervene in a dream

                                                          not a therapist he chuckled

                                                                         a therapeutic thespian

acting

           because they havent the depth

wealth of knowledge

had the relationships

why they visit

why they manipulate settings

why their precise stagecraft

                                  for an audience of one

his daughter visited

she kept referring to a hill she was to be buried on the next day

Wha hill  I don know wha youre talking about

Tomorrow.

    Show me  Please

You really don’t know?why don’t you know?

I don know

Come she said  I’ll show the hill I’m still not sure which direction I want to face what view to take in.

For eternity

Yes.

       she took him by the hand and led him

at its foot under cold brittle snow he could make out elk paths that woundswitched back and forth up the side of the high hill they walked kneedeep breaking snow and because she held his hand he felt light because she held his hand he was surefooted  breathed evenly

at the top

             See.  Breathtaking, isn’t it? they kept holding hands

Its beautiful

they walked

               You can understand why I’ve chosen this place.

Yes

There are so many views to choose from. Sunrise. Sunset.  Across the valley the forest opposite.

Yes

What do you think?

I have no thought other than it is your choice  Antha Im grateful you chose to share it with me

You would have seen tomorrow.

    I am happy you shared it with me today

                                                she squeezed his hand tight

 

when he wokehis hands clasped

                                      he could feel her hand between them

earlyAM,  Wednesday,  31  12. 25

interiority

            . . . not without exterioritypositing that without knowing it even existed but was set afire by reading interiority for the first time ever

                                           mariachis Man Wha  Ya livin under a rock

You know

No

     We didnt know

We depend on you for tha

twice today theyve slipped him

he was reluctant to give them credit

but had no choice they kept their noses clean

You know we can hear you

                             Good

Ya know I wont say it outloud

they crossed their arms over their chests made unbecoming pusses

his interior teeming

 

subjective versus objective perceptions perspectives

                                                          makes a man the Real Deal Real McCoy

The whole enchilada

                       also didnt know that there was such a thing as a spinach enchilada

could team it with mushrooms black beans artichoke hearts eggplant those off the top of his head

Step aside everyone might be blowin my mind

 

    It makes sense the mariachis held

It does  My niece said

                        Thasaid  I don dine out

Maybe ya shoud

For your edification

No man  For your belly

My bellys fine  I enjoy my prep enjoy my cookin

Youre living vicariously

Enter books National Geographic  Fiction  Nonfiction

                                                             Ive not heard no bitchin

Woud it have done any good

No

    Coudnt even afford us a  maybe

No

       Im a miserable truthteller brutal truthteller 

But you know tha

Yet ya stick around

Wha can we say man

Nice digs

             Within  Without

So don get hung up on interiority exteriorityOhkay

    Awright

1731,  Saturday,  15  11. 25

2029,  Tuesday,  30  12. 25

. . . some act that convinces the animals, and the animal masters who are in charge of them, that humans are, once again, willing to be fellow travelers in the world, not exceptional, not standing apart, but part of the ecology of all living things.

                             Dan Flores  Blood Memory

in his modest consideration

                                Thas a mighty tall fuckin order

ask for humility

accept not exceptional

 

he has Dans backsbut

                          seems to him  given human beings are engaged to AI the wedding ought to be a knockout

Please  Can we do one thing at a time

                                              Let us get back to ya

 

he dug watching hoofed clovenhoofed and primates flip off human beings

                                                                                 poetic  awkward

between them they only wished they could build an ark and float on the human races urine blood other bodily humours

                   only wish

    because they understood mankinde was condemning all living things be their fellow travelers

1440,  Monday,  29  12. 25

1857,  Tuesday,  30  12. 25

he knew she swang both ways

she dumped him for a girlfriend after he followed a boyfriend then she another girlfriend after dumping his  suitor?

           he was cool

                              although

every once in a while she needed a cock and calledasked if hed be interested

Just for a fuck.

Why do you bother sayin tha

I don’t want you to think I’m interested in coming back to you.

Kiddo  Tha ships sailed

                          Ill fuckya but Ive no interest in dating you

coy  she was hot  No?

No

    Truly?

As the sun rises an sets

 

 

they ran into each other at a mutual bar

she relished their Lemondrop Martinis

she introduced him to her new girlfriend was hard to say who was hotter

This is cool

they Cooled together

Jah

       Two for the price of one

expressions were priceless looked like they thought he wanted to fuckem   menage

he bellylaughed

                      Got a question

expressions still at attention

I have not it was his standard that whenever asking a question he answered it first  Have either of you been with a girl who squirted

they Squirted together

Jah

        A Gusher  Candy  I wasnt fond ofem had one an one was enough  Is probably still is a thing

Fruitflavoured

Have yet to run into a squirter

                                  Youse

they Noed together

Youre quite the pair  Seem wellsuited

                                            Probably can finish one anothers sentences

they Yesed

I think itd be nice

                     Think Id dig more than candy

Savory  Not sickeninsweet

they shrugged

Anywho  Thanks for your time

                                    Nice meeting you Jill

to his former girlfriend Unfortunate youre not Jack

1527,  Saturday,  13  12. 25

1337,  Tuesday,  30  12. 25

he stumbled into this one

                                     convertsations

he didnt hear the car careen out of controlthe train jump its trackhis brain belch  

it was tendered him mariachis were vigourously shaking their heads no

                                                                         Sonofagun

supposed hed have to take responsibility

You da man mariachis bellowedsounded louder yet echoing off the cavern of his skull

Easy easy kiddos Don wish to split my eardrums inside out

                                                                 they laughed humoured as easily as he

convertsation

isnt that what someone does when theyre trying to bring another along trying like a motherfucker to hide argument because when arguing some stick to their guns despite wrong despite being irrational

doublingdown

a queer strategy

whenever he learned he was wrong he admitted it

                                                          wouldnt crossup ignorance and pride

hard time imagining

                        being proud of being ignorant

1055,  Tuesday,  30  12. 25

James Hall and The Voices of Citadel  Since I Laid My Burdens Down  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vbrwf2tJGU 

There’s only one plot – things are not what they seem.

                                                            Jim Thompson

Thompson  famous posthumously

                                           Oh Joy 

 

 

he never had a plot in his life

did that mean he hadnt a purpose

plots cause and effect how and why things happened

                                                              he didnt care

stories conversations are snapshots

he preferred them without context 

should someone wanted context he let them imagine affix their Before and After

he was interested in Now

2212,  Monday,  29  12. 25

1101,  Tuesday,  30  12. 25

https://crimereads.com/cb-everett-there-is-only-one-plot-things-are-not-as-they-seem/ 

J J Cale  Sensitive Kind  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=micFPTLix7E

Linda Gale Lewis  Diggin’ My Way Out of Hell  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEEPQvpR6Fw

he loved this felons administrations attempts to sharpen up its white man horseshit whoresshit  bonafides

    a slick quote from Richard Hofstadters Anti-Intellectualism in America 1964

                                                       America, having attracted in its early days so many of [White] Europe’s disaffected [infecting  radicalising] and disinherited became the ideal (he emboldened) country for the prophets of what was then known to its critics as religious “enthusiasm”.

he later wrote that that enthusiasm meant “personal access to God”

                                                                          Some balls  though that said

those days preceded telephones direct extensions  one eighthundred He is God

 

reading over his shoulder she ahhemmed

he didnt look Jah

Youah, lookin’, to be tarred and feathered.

Sounds like youre entertaining the Spirit

                                             Though got to believe that in the workssomewhars  white male entitlement rubs off a mite on the missuses an misses

    Ya gimme tha

 

That.

         Just offering you might like to mind your ps and qs.

    Submit to fear

Thad just be leavin the door open for the next cunt who comes along believing they have a Godgiven right to offend malign impugn someone who disagrees withem

                                                           An without gravely  mistakenly piously fearful of getting knocked outknocked into the next weekend Where is I? mumbledsluffed though their broken jaw

    No   Not at all

  

1532,  Monday,  29  12. 25

1934,  Monday

Christ woudya please quit with tha babe

                                                If necessary for youknock yourself out

But leave me the hell out of your regime

If Im thirsty Ill sip of water from a public fountain

                                                      In the meantime rinsing my mouth out is plenty

    But you should hydrate.

Ill take should over ought to an deny you both

                                                   Your hydrate is irrigate

I aint raising ricedoin hydroponics inside me

You cant go nowhere without your ecofriendly stainless steel  fabulous water bottle

Also point eminently being  Im not having you turn up turn on your car Bluetooth radar system to find me the nearest head so I don have to have you pull over so I can piss not riskHere arrest for public indecency public exposure serve time come out then have to walk through a neighbourhood Ive elected to live in an knock on doors an admit that inadvertently  Im a sex offender

                                                                       Follow cherie

You had to squat to take a piss in my front yard my public park  you think for a moment Id turn you inNo  OhHell no  Id thank you for the show

    Probably fuckin tip ya twenty percent

                                            Thad be enoughjah  twentytwentyfive percent

Whas the goin rate for tipping sex workersover an above pimp rates

 

Are you quite done?

Is my turkey DONEpop-up button popped

                                                  Ive no idea

I just stopped to take a breath outrage free

   

1012,  Sunday,  28  12. 25

1839,  Monday,  29  12. 25

Really  Brigitte Bardot  gnomes collected just under her chin

                                                                   Ya have to fuck with me

Ya coudnt have had them riding her naked tits

No.

       I’m still displeased with you.

Displeased

             Who  other than you  uses tha word

I don’t care, you told me to lose my ego, I have very few things of my own . .

. . An youre stationary

    Obviously.

 

I apologise I can appreciate tha

                                    I spoke without regard for your perspective

 

You haven’t an ego?

No

       I cant say I ever saw its purpose  other than for it to be bruised

Probably due to my thickskin probably because Im lefthanded   Lotsa probables

   Dismissed it long ago

Jealousy in kind

You weren't ever jealous?

Once

        It perturbed so badly I walked home miles from a party was nineteen I believe  went upstairs to brush my teeth looked in the mirror

A cunt looked back at me

Didnt like my lookdidnt like how I felt

I took the toothbrush sticking out of my face out of my mouth spat  told my reflection Im lettin this feelin go  Im not gonna ever feel jealous again

   Havent since

I thoroughly disgusted myself

 

She died yesterday.

Who

Bardot.

Wha

    Yes.  My condolences.

                               You were a fan when she was youn . .

. . As was any redblooded male  despite   her being blonde

 

The gnomes around her throat really troubled me

Yes.  Why I used them.

                              Psychics have told you or rather told the women who then told you  who you had fallen in love with  that they are surroundedcrowded by males  malevolent  who wanted them for themselves and weighted them down sapped them  their life forces  wearied them physically  emotionally psychically

   Jah

          Low blow liknowleum

1057,  Monday,  29  12. 25