his ambition   his career

                                         was to be

              Happy

hes made it

2215,  Saturday,  31  5. 25

THIS IS A TEST . . .

 

                                         IF IT HAD BEEN A REAL EMERGENCY . . .                                                          

those were the days

                      Atomic nuclear obliteration annihilation or  as not one soldier who goes to war thinks they might return maimed dismemberedNo   they don

this test wasnt that

quizzed himself Remember what you wrote this morning

                                                                    I DO  freakin confident

CONFESSIONS

                          Wha

It aint coerced

                 No

Confessions   Coerced  Wrong

Yer ass  Giraffe

Confessions

                       Wha

Maybe I don

I remember heaven haven friend friendly fiend  mosaic mosaick   mosaicicky

                                                                                     Wha after confessions

I remember throatremember liking thruat more

    Wha

arguably  a great start to May

Man  Kids schools out in a month almost didnt realise that occupied with his routine (ruetine)(sssh No)  his need to merge  coin

                        the needaddiction to jam words together that he heard in speech but writing denies

he noticed the paper he was writing on wasnt quality

                                                         when he pressed where he had folded four pages together it crackled like bay leaf seasoning would think it would crumble under the tines of his rake would make excellent kindling for a fire

 

    last nightprobably this morning dreaming  it was the first time he ever heard his last name pronounced

maybe the Fates  Moirai   three cloistered in a chamber sniveling

                                                                        he walked past them

You they crowed

he didnt turn around

he backed up

                 backed up to their doorway                     

the largest didnt know if they were Clotho Lachesis Atropos approached himhe stepped into the doorway filling it

they paused  retreated

                          whatever curse they were going to admit stuck in their mouth in their craw

Yes  You called my name

her eyes started  but said nothing

he thought Fates because of their haggish appearance how he was impressed

he stepped back again into the hallway

                                          continued up it where his roomhis chamber was

undressed

went to sleep naked 

                             that night

having to urinate

he went back up the hall to a shared water closet past the threes chamber

                                                                                the one he confronted came into the hall behind him

he flew his nakedness in her face as one can before another who is undesirable

he did not shut the door

                         urinated like a fire hose into a wallmounted urinal the wholewhile leaning on his left arm bracing the wall

she stood behind him glaring at his ass

    finished turned sidestepped her

                                        politely  Excuse me

if they were Moirai he was playing with fire

after 9PM,  Thursday,  15  5. 25 winging his way to Seattle

1343,  Saturday,  31  5. 25

he thought as he finished it  Cold flat beer

                                                    Cant say that was particularly tasty

Why did you drink it a nosey one reared their head

Wellshit  Why do I do a lot of things if you were to come to think of it

    Ah   Awright  Fair

Please  Continue

Waste not want not

Coudnt have said it better myself

                                    If I knew you were comin Idve saved some for you

Thas thoughtful I woud have declined

                                           I know yaknow we don subsist as you do

I realise tha

             Realise my innerscape my brain isnt littered with Honey Huts wher . .

. . Yes  Tha was nuts

Seattle

Nuts

Who knew

An blame it on the homeless Aint all dogshit left on the side of the road by owners not pickinup cleaninup after their dog

    Nah    Padlocked Honey Huts

                                        Hurt my heart

Kinda odd

Nah

       Remember when you arrived

During your midlife crisis

Havent had one

                    Maybe youre confused During my assumed midlife wont really know till Im dead

Was a carpenter

I heard you were

Heard

Was before my time

Tha explains it

                 I have a deepanabidin affection for Honey Huts

Deepanabidin

                  Tha scent

I appreciate you callin it  scent

Only because thaswha you call it

When I worked as a carpenter there were Honey Huts

                                                          Virtually every one had black widow nests inem

Actincrazy I told the other guys leave the eggs be

Or youd hurtem

Id hurtem

Tha sorted mentality followed you into other jobs you had beyond construction

It did

I know

    Once upon a time in a crawlspace on my back in the dirt we were replacing a post for a new banister stairs pounded the post from above me once an I felt something things fall on meSTOP

                                                                                            Carpenter above me stopped put a flashlight on me told me Lay still  actually Very still  I was covered with black widows

Was almost an hour before I crept out of the crawlspace

They left me be

I owedem

Hence my craze an hence why no one provoked me left the spiders their eggs be

    Quite the story

Quite the reality     

1129,  Saturday,  31  5. 25

Naascent

What’s nascent?

Ill get there but you ought to know tha Im spelling it with two As

    Two As.  To be clear.  N  A  A  S  C  E  N  T.

Correct

 

Too soon to ask why?

No

     I believe its right up your alley

I don’t care for how you said that.

Why I said it as I did

It doesn’t sound encouraging.

No worries

             Youre incorrigible

Anthat . . . that also doesn’t sound rightI don’t care for how you said it.

    Im consistent

 

So are you going to say?

 

Depends

           Are you ready to hear

This is unlike youconcerned . for my feelings.

Not really

            This is yet part of an ongoing disagreement between us  I think naascen . .

. . Two As.

Of course

           Naascent plays into your mindset Yararely have any ammunition so I thought Id help you along at least you can say you can pointdespite my virulent opposition  Maybe enthusiastic is more accurate than virulent

Very enthusiastic                                        

Either  Or

    Allset

As set as I can ever be in regards to things that emerge from your brain and out your mouth

Naascent

           No Anal Allowed scent 

    No sexfunk in your world

early May,  2025

1102,  Saturday,  31  5. 25

Broheim

Yeah.

    I think  nahbelieve I have a working model why were so different

                                                                          Like magnets  Opposites attract

Irresistibly

A premise.

Ja

     Out the gate  youre righthanded Im left

Youre made leftbrained Im right

                                   Left  logic critical thinking numeracy  Rational

Right  creative imaginativecoud be diplomatic  however Id backpedal on tha Im impatient with thick people

    Annever the two shall merge

Inside our heads our hemispheres interact

                                              But were not hemispheres contained inside the same skull

Woudnt be enough room to stretchout

                                         Or

As Strother Martins character Captain said to Paul Newmans in Cool Hand Luke  What we’ve got here is failure to communicate. he couldnt resist

But I think what we have between us is you Mister Rogers Neighborhood anme Flash Gordons Neighbourhood

Also bending to the permission structure we grewup under

                                                               You asked for permission

I gave myself permission

Did tha turn out well

No

     More often than otherwise

But broheim

              The ones I got away with were sublime anthas how I identifiedem as a kid  Sublime

Admittedly it took me a while to find the word but unshakeable once it was in my mouth

Why woudnt I continue seeking sublime

    Was awfully rational of me

 

 

Nothing  No feedback

Oh.  Excuse me.

                      I thought you just wanted to hear yourself talk.

early May, 2025

0936,  Saturday,  31  5. 25

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A

Wha can I sayno apologeezs  Im ahead of my time

                                                       Ya can make whaever ya wish of ahead

she smiledset off her dimples

                           Ahead?

Yes  Youre clever

                   You  know  me

I'll guess.

I don think youll be guessing

No. Probably not.

    Lets play

Yes.

     We have ahead  A  H  E  A  D  one word.

We have two words.

We have a word.

Head.  Smart.

Head.  Sexual.

I toldya ya know me

                         Too well methinks

I’ve reaped benefits from you we’ve dancedround rape a couple of times.

We got a little crazy

That's what you do to us.

                            I dig your MagicMarkered, our safewords, on the wall above our beds.

Expressions exiting are choice.

You see them more often than me havin the master bedroom the bath off it

I do, you bet I do, I love them.  Eyebrows go off.

                                                   I blame you.

And those who have a cursory knowledge of you acknowledge the effect you have upon them.

Others shrug.

It matters only that I have tha effect on you

You’re sweet, despite your denials.

Which brings us sweet   around to you

Or you.

Me

You.

    You know where this is going

Ahead, a head, of your time.

Nuts

Early bird catches the worm. she laughed wholesomely And you’ve wormed me grinned tongue and cock.

Tongue and fingers kiddo

Anal.  Ahead, one word, of your time.

                                         I relish we met and how our time has meshed.

Were a little outrageous

We is.

early May,  2025

1108,  reggaefriday,  30  5. 25

he laughed loudlygayly

                               Awman yaoughta see your face  Fire off a selfie your puss

Priceless

peeved I don’t think so. Do you understand how rude you arehow . . . rude . can’t think you’ve upset me so.

A joke

         Losing your shit over a joke

It’s not funn . .

. . Its hysterical your puss proves my pointproof  in the puddin

                                                                   When a joke cozies up to realitypeople getyou get a bug up your ass accuse me of upset of offence

Yes. Thank you. Couldn't think. You’re offensive.

Youre welcome

I gotta go. I can’t listen to you any more.

You realise itd be more fun if youd manage to share a joke every nowanagin

                                                                                 Always leave the liftin to me

But your clever.

                  And as you say, I’m not.

Ive said youre rarely clever

                                 Yadidnt stop on the way in an select  Ya just took wha they gave you

Your first error

Never settle

    What the fuck are you talking about now?

Saint Peter meets you at the Pearly Gates

                                             Matthew sixteen nineteen  Revelation Twentyone twentyone

The guy comin in  Ive no idea who the hell he is  He tried to stuff a bag into my hand  I recoiled saw shelves off to one side 

I wandered over there

He pursued metried again to put the bag into my hand

                                                          No thank you I told him then began grabbing touted things characteristics from the upper shelvestuck them under my arm crook of my elbow along my forearm held close to my chest

Christ whoever he was said

He dumped the things he packed onto a counter grabbed my items bagged them

Then I came in

Never settle broheim

I’m gone. Some other time. 

                              he turned and left

 

it was a bit raunchy  risky

                            but when something made him laugh he went with it  

Black cherries

                  Get them now  for by the time theyre ten eleven theyre gone

some afternoon early May, 2025

1006,  reggaefriday,  30  5. 25

a hotel

a motel

between the two he gravitated to motels

                                            for what he thought was obvious

the difference between a church and a cathedralYES  a motel is a cathedral

Vacant shopping center bays which then house churches arent cathedralsfeel   feel  me

I hear you.

I needya to feel me

                         Feel implies the whole gamutsight audio   smell  taste   touch

Fireworks going off allatonce 

Someone snuck in behind the pyrotechs tossed flares into setups  crates

        Feel

 

I don’t have feelings like that.

Yadead

    I’m just sayin . .

. . Youre dead

                          Listenup

this is when he irritated him the most

                                        telling him what to do

I aint blind Ought tatake a look in window glass take a good gander of your puss

                                                                                        Wearin your heart on your sleeve

Where you tried to wipe your puss free of disdain

HOTEL MOTEL

 

    What of ‘em?

Ho   H  O  tel   Mo   M O  tel

                                    Tel me wha I want to hear

Ho tel me an the mo Ill tel you the mo we can share

 

Would you quit the gibberish.

Not gibberish

                  Yaint listenin

 

Nevermind

             You arent capable to tel me wha I want to know

1749,  Thursday,  29  5. 25

The Who  Can You Feel the Real Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2h1MY70uag

You know  sayin one way rather than the other doesnt change the woman insidedoesnt  make you sound more   wha  more  less    ahmoral

I disagreewe’ll have to disagree again.

Again  Quit using it 

                     Our steadfastfast disagreements are redundant  ad nauseum

Because of you.

Because I demand clarity  granular definition

Whic . .

. . Which  you  consistentlyconstantly fail to provide despite knowin Im not acceptin halfass explanations or takin you at your word

Not a soul gets tha

Open your mouth Be thorough   Be concise

We engage in casual conversation.

Casual does not upend meaningful

 

 

    What?

Im waitin

For what?

For the description between the women from either establishment

Establishment?

    Youre not tha thick

The difference between a woman working in a whorehouse and a woman working in a brothel you seem to prefer brothels to whorehouses to alleyways or in the backseat of a car in the city

3PMishness,  Sunday,  11  5. 25

1241,  Thursday,  29  5. 25

    . . . only when he cares.

he overheardcaught that bit  talking about him

though he missed in what context

                                   angered him

they didnt address himcould have

                                    like Russia and the US negotiating peace with Ukraine and Ukraines not at the tableFUCK Russia

FUCK the United States

                         fuck the clowns in the room who couldnt bring themselves to say to his face

cowardise

           the world needs less

however

             no matter the subject

theyd be accurate

if unstirred

            uninspired

he couldnt muster false enthusiasm

wouldnt lie

was a hurtful curtteller of hard truths

                                          unapologetic

an old girlfriend once said to him

                                     You can’t blame them.

when they parted ways

                          she blamed him   

Absolument

What’s with the crack?

                        she was angry

but wouldnt admit she was trying to make a project of him

he told her when they first began dating

                                           Whaya see is whaya get

he may have assumed see included  hear

    . . . only when he cares.

2158 & after2200,  Wednesday,  28  5. 25

1111,  Thursday,  29  5. 25

Iron Butterfly  In the Time of Our Lives  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwjsmmM450o