a calendar

if you think about itreally  think about it 

                                               terror lives inside a calendar 

it is an numbered prettified assembly of tombstones

365 days366 on Leap Yearsleap of zeal and death innocuously gathered and stitched together

amassedproduced

listen to the whispers and cries from the death camps and killing grounds  the days dates didnt matter Soviet Union Germany Poland China Cambodia Americas Revolutionary East and Wild West Australia Africa Anywhere – it seems – wherever human beings were they slaughtered other human beings their common denominator: being a human being

We are impervious to this death concept

   CALENDARS

  Hallmark  the Cub Scouts Brownies Boy Scouts Girl Scouts 

lest it be declared with grave dirt or gray mortuary ash soiling the wall it hangs on sifting onto the floor beneath

fixing Its

fastening Its

fixating Its

Reality

it occurred to him as he wrote on calendar  scheduled times dates todays and dates to occur or as he timestamped dated his scribbled words letters poems stories  demonstrated his labor evenif only exercising

he slipped tags over their toes to anNOUNce them VERBalise them SUBJECTed them to their own lives which thenif desired could be etched in stone

they are visceral reminders of our own tombstones 

                                                      gaudy with all the days between our Insurrection and Deaddate and how callous and frequent we simply ignore our lives as they pass away 

were so damn sure

dailymonthly guides anoint us

                                 a Friday at 7:37 p. m. in three weeks

insidious year-long calendars purloining January 31 next year

NEXT YEARS

we really thinkwithout thinking

                                Shit. Aint a goddamnthing to worry about. I’ll seal the deal real clever now, I’ll buy me next year’s calendar or mebbe one of those perpetual ones.  Ahnuts, they got static pictures on ‘em. Month after month. Year after year.

Aww comon, tha's a fuckin’ small price to pay.

Yeah it is. 

   small price to pay Live forever.

Reggaefriday,  18  3. 11

0946,  Sunday,  30  7. 23

Justin Hurwitz  Senor Avocado (Babylon)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGzrSd64bl0

Finale  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoeEobVMkKA

he read David Foster Wallaces Wiggle Rooms first sentencefour lines down from its beginning

. . . Lane Dean, Jr. 

                         hit the brakes

he despised Jr.s for their given Jr.

                                    anfor them taking it

. . . Lane Dean, Jr. imagined a warm pretty beach with a mellow surf

                                                                         but

reading it aloud  imagined a warm pretty bitch with a yellow muff

rubbed his eyes 

                 their imageries wrestled

he cheered his on

   reading it again

                    again it came out imagined a warm pretty bitch with a yellow muff 

ahWallace  Wha a fine literary trick

amused he wondered if he ever wrote childrens books Primers 

                                                                   See the crabapple tree flower

Is there a bedder thing to read than a Primer a push-in-the-back to move a kid along

                                                                                          an inspirer incenser   inciter 

giving wiggle room to grow

four lines up from the end of the sentence

. . . bone after tea

Bon appetit

   Brilliant Wallace brilliant

blew the shutters off his imaginings

 

Reggaefriday AM,  11  2. 11 or 3/11/11

0834,  Sunday,  30  7. 23

Justin Hurwitz  Wild Child (Babylon)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVAChUIU0dM

his just desserts

comeuppance crumpets

stranded in a dessert

fuckin whiner 

               sounds constipatedsounds like a cartoon character  I did everything right and they indicted me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOvfXCGKXbI

Whadaya mean sounds 

                           Diaper im 

Swathe im

Yah

Recommendations

Yah 

     You first                        

You have ideas

Hell no ideas  I know

Me too

Let the volley commence Chumley

Certainly Tennessee Tuxedo

Service slap!   Abena Abri-Flex Pull-ups

Prevail Pull-ups  MAX

Nice 

      McKesson Ultra Pull-ups  Heavy

sings He aint heavy hes my brother 

                                     TENA Overnight Super Protective Incontinence Overnight Absorbency

Absorebun-cy envy 

                       McKesson again  Ultra Briefs with Tabs  HEAVY

Prevail Bariatric Briefs with Tabs Ultimate

If its the ultimate why arya shagging it out this late in the game

Who knows if its the ultimate Thas advertising

I concede

Another

I do Tranquility . .

. . Ive got a Tranquility too 

Me first 

You first

Thank you 

            ATN All-Through-the-Night . .

. . Oh wow thanks for saying wha the acronym means

Yah no sweat

               ATN Disposable Briefs with Tabs  Maximum

Tranquility Air-Plus Bariatric . .

. . Okayokay thas twice now  Youre gonna have to explain whacha mean

Excuse me Shoudve stopped me the first time Id have stopped you 

                                                                       Bariatric pertains to obesity

OHman hands down knocked it out of the park

Thank you 

            Bariatric Disposable Briefs with Tabs  Maximum 

We crushed it

We did 

        Eight yah

Yah Eight

           Theres probably more but my head hurts    Idve thought one of us woudve had an Pampers entry

I don think there is a Pampers 

                                Thasaid  have you taken a gander on-line at the male advertisements  Trim guys sixpak abs wearing incontinency briefs 

No

Yah

Nah

  Yaaah

Well shit Ill have to take a look  

1704,  day-between-2-Ts,  14  6. 23

1408,  Saturday,  29  7. 23

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDm90r3hVQo

Lane Dean, Jr.

found

Wiggle Room

wasnt Who he was

He

was

Neal Dean

submissive

Kneal Dean

beaten down

kneel down

take it

He learned well

his Dod

no sparer of the Rod

No

Dod shackled Lane

at his wrists

his heels

blindered

gagged

him with Jr.

a pebble in his shoe

not to be removed

A-stigmatism

Stigmata borne

I

urged him

when Dod dies

that day

drop it

He didnt

Too brought-up Protestant

too German

too gentile

too Who

he thought

he was

His

Wiggle Room

OUT

his necktie

Its knot

a Boy Scout merit badge

slung

from the stout wood

closet rod

in his bedroom

door shut

before a full-length mirror

   his unflinching witness 

Reggaefriday AM,  11  2. 11 or 3/11/11

1030,  Saturday,  29  7. 23

https://biblioklept.org/2011/03/09/a-few-thoughts-on-wiggle-room-an-excerpt-from-david-foster-wallaces-novel-the-pale-king/ 

you know how it is

youre sitting on the potforgot to bring a book in with you

yawoudnt dare in a public stall

  so you look at the floor tiles the worked concrete to see what you can see

he usually looked furthest away

worked his way back towards his feet

but usually his business was finished before he was hafway

sitting on the pot this morning he quit with the fargaze  the tiles coming out from under a huge clawfoot bathtub

he looked directly down between his feet

                                          almost shit

between them was the face of a blindfolded woman

her brow unfurled untroubled

                               her cheeks mouth lips composed informing him of her bemused experienced submission

he was awfully tempted to reach down take her by the back of the head  but didnt

she was new

               and like her he wouldnt like it if someone took him by the back of the headdicktated his movements expressions

in time 

over time as intimacy intimacies grow are learned   games played 

                                                                       heads are pushed hair is yanked

   that Patience  was titillating

erotic

1039,  Saturday,  29  7. 23

defining deviancy down

   an obvious alliteration

                          which is probably why he scribbled it on a scrap of paper two months earlier

flotsams bobbed to the surface

jetsam

      WHAMbam 

Whyd ya do wha ya did 

                              Wha to do wha to do wha to dowidit    Remain faithfull hed think of something 

Thawas TWO shehe heshe interrupted two months ago

Anthas enough outa you

                           Either be constructive or hit the road 

Touchy touchy

                  Scribble anything else   down

Cute

       Moynihan

Senator

Thas the one

Was a social scientist

He was

Whawoud he make of deviancy

As a description of characteristics behaviors thought patterns that significantly differ from the rest of the population

   Deviant

Don look at me like tha when you say deviant

Like wha

You know

No I don carry a compact mirror to take a gander of myself when I speak

Listen Gumby youre aware of the expression on your face when yasaid 

                                                                             A tell in the world of Poker an Life

I may ha . .

. . No may

             No mas No more 

I know wha it means

Then don play stoopid 

   Awright awright were meandering off base

We are 

            Defining deviancy down

Its become pretty commonplace   No one pays any attention

Bark no bite

No substance 

                  Man  it had to have meant something to you at the time

Yah  Must have

Nada

   Yup  Zip

            Swing an a miss

Not necessarily Youve confirmed you know wha deviancy and a deviant are

I do

   Thas somethindon look at me like tha    

1730,  2sday,  13  6. 23

0911,  Saturday,  29  7. 23

Marianne Faithfull  Why’d Ya Do It?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzaqxWQN6z8

avoid

                     means wha 

a void

a void ID

I a void id  ego

ergo

Idiot

            Id riot 

words decompose

set off bells

tha reverberate

                   reverberape

down along 

the entire length

of pipe

a syllable

                shryllable 

at a time

maybe 

         it is unlikely

to occur to anyone

other

than himself

hes betrayed himself

AM bus ride,  day-between-2-Ts,  3  13. 04

0808,  Saturday,  29  7. 23

Slightly Stoopid  This Joint  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvR3JWU4u6c

a woman came

a woman came off the bus 

all boots and thighs

ass and breasts and

sighed.

she shook her mane

reminiscent of coils of

cooling lava flows or

jet asphalt

hastily roped in a street gutter.

her heels chipped concrete

as she walked away

lighting an unfiltered cigarette.

the silenced wood match bounced

in her wake of arrested eyes and 

churning thoughts breaths held.

she was as direct

as an unmanned locomotive

shattering whatever might get in her way.

and tempting one

not to move 

off the track.

1835,  day-between-2-Ts,  1  12. 10

1549,  Reggaefriday,  28  7. 23

sentience sensibilities sensesenable sensesable   sanity 

                                                           Petrarch pronounced it sehnsucht

the longing yearning craving desire for the restoration of lost qualities of mind

a return to ancient virtue

hed say truth

               unfortunately given Americas current First World plight its festering ignorancethe herds choice of that ignorance 

          hed be a fool to assume many knew Petrarch anglicised made English from Petrarca he was one of the earliest humanists they could look it up a Fourteenth Century Italian Renaissance scholar poet

fastforward 600 years 

                        he can smell taste the same yearning for lost qualities for common sense for the ability to think for ones self  a freethinker   a freetinker

                                            yet so many adults play a childrens game Follow the Leader  plebeians commoners coarse  lacking discernment

but he wasnt one to cower to authority play by arbitrary rules that he hadnt a hand in

making

         rules  not laws

2 species 

he was sickantired of rules standing in the way of progress 

                                                               Whell shucks, that’s the rule . .

. . An who made it up

   I don’t know, but that’s the rule.

Its unfortunate

But that’s the rule.

Lets amend it

It’s the rule. taunting him asif speaking to an idiot

Excise it

It’s the rule. slippery slope  now asif talking to moron

whenever he heard rule rules he thought hed puke

                                                      understood they were maintained by those who benefited

fell under the category that Frederick Douglass remarked Power concedes nothing without demand

at anyanevery opportunity he demanded

                                            and crossed his fingers that violence wouldnt have to employed

that reason could prevail

although 

          he wasnt opposed to violence

his old man told him at some point it was inevitable

                                                       anif inevitable strike first

Boy, many first punch knockouts have stopped what otherwise may have become ugly, bloody fights.

   speaking from his experience the old man was righthe wasnt right about a lot  but he was right about that 

Let reason sehnsucht prevail

1018,  2sday,  25  7. 23

1507,  Reggaefriday,  28  7. 23

https://empoweredparents.co/follow-the-leader-game/

 

   he heard her called Della Rose nicknamed her Lazarus she was no Tom 

                                                                            a little girl in a buggy he walked after who had kicked off her shoes onto the sidewalk  a fact unknown to her oblivious cellphonechattering woman propulsion unit

he had no idea their relationship

or cared

though

        Babys gonna need new shoes

if she hasnt any when the ride terminates 

Della Rose was a kind of a space oddity

                                            a being pushed forward into the worlds face eyes not three feet off the ground off the sidewalk looking at wheelwells spinning tires sidepanels of trucks and cars that passed on the street pushed forward in a spaceship an astronaut girl riding at the head in a probing nose cone 

he took offence

                when his girls were her age they rode on his shoulders he held onto them by their legsshins and talked with them as he walked theirs eyes were better than seven feet off the ground lookingout lookingdown on passing people passing vehicles high above biological and manufactured internal combustion exhaust

hed seen the little girl and woman as he crossed between traffic the wide streetparking on either side two lanes in each direction turning lane at the center  

turning up it to walkread glancing forward he saw a childs shoepink shoe a little girls lying in the middle of the sidewalk Elementary, my dear Watson. which Holmes never did said turninround looking back down the street he wondered ifwas damn sure it was belonged to the little girl pushed in the buggy by the short stout woman

he whistledLOUD after them  yelled HEY LADY 

                                                   she was on the phone she wouldnt hear him

quickstepping it 

                 there was a bus stop just ahead of the two  a bus was approaching

he came upon a matching shoe on the sidewalk HE WAS GOING TO LOSE HIS MIND

finally

LADY 

     she startedacted like he slapped her on the rumpshe turned

I believe youll need these

Oh, oh my, thank you. Della Rose. You kicked off your shoes. Why would you do that?

Because you’re ignoring me. which Della Rose didnt say

Yare welcome Figured eventually shed need her shoes

0900,  Thursday,  27  7. 23

0912,  Reggaefriday,  28  7. 23

Bowie  Lazarus  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Piq-_MOcnRc 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-JqH1M4Ya8

Space Oddity  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo

he finally made it across the parking lot to the market the wholewhile reminding himself of being a kid 

                                                                                                            How ridiculous

he knewsaw earlier it was parceledcould smell the lot had been anwas being blacktopped

he thought he provided his approach a wide berth 

                                                       just not wide enough 

he got stuck crossing a portion prepped before he arrived

but doable

            an he didnt want to backtrack to the main street

the prep if he had to guess hed call a crack filler 

                                                     sounded as crass as blacktop wasWHAT  No feathers 

hed look it up when he got home

crossing the lot he had to avoid the sticky hot crack filler it wasnt like if he stepped in it he could scrap it off his sole or dig it out wedged at his heel with a stick like dogshit

OhNo oh no nono

                   Step on a crack, break your momma’s back. 

he excelled at the game as a youngster

was a proficient Jack Be Nimble Jack Be Quick  

   then at homeclean an white as driven snow he found that the product was called  Rubberised Asphalt Crack Filler

Duhhuh

         Keep it simple fool

0920,  Thursday,  27  7. 23

1557,  Thursday

there was a productmarl in the brown grass beside the sidewalk 

                                                                     notoriously homeless productmarl 

characteristically stereotypically 

                                  they tended to be slobs happy to let others cleanup after them happy to let others hose off looseshits they left on sidewalks stairs steps 

                                                  or maybe they were comedians performance artists  hoboes no more 

the thatch of crap jumbled together caught his eye despite reading Juneteenth as he walked

it was congealed by something he couldnt see 

what he couldnt see he didnt touch

there were two large Jack-in-the-Box cold drink cups could drown a baby in one shredded translucent plastic lids cigarette butts ash four lottery tickets tornup 

                                                Hey, brother, can you spare a dime (for a bite to eat a cup of coffee)?

has degenerated Hey, man, spare a buck (for a pack of cigarettes lottery tickets or Ill find out where you live and shit on your Welcome mat)?

0915,  Thursday,  27  7. 23

1517,  Thursday

Contortionist

I balled a contortionist in the Yukon 

I can still taste her potted plants whenever I smell warm terra cotta broken glass beet greens

WHAT the fuck she was doing in the Yukon or what the fuck she was DOING in the Yukon is beyond me 

                                                                                                              I didnt ask

She may have been there like me some thing of a desperate history  a beginning

                                                                                      a tamed wild thing   at heart wild hanging by a bent hempthread wild

Her name was Jane a plain Jane so simple  then some thing realised then radically unsimple 

                                                                                                    Jane named asif it sought to hide that some thing

Since I have paid keen attention to simple 

I was astonished how her backbone worked

I wished mine worked like hers

 

She was a grocery cashierher math as fast as the gawddamned machine except for calculating taxes 

                                                                                                           Quick brown eyes a fast pleasant smile her teethyes ofcourse  uneven 

At the bar I didnt ask what she did she said I didnt ask

                                                           But for Christssake turned out this plain Jane working a cashiers line was fuckin priceless

She asked what I did

   I said I think I think shit youd think was hard to think up But not for me 

                                                                                 Thinkin wanders in like a hungry vagrant a nose full of smell finds free chowlines for soup and sandwich an doesnt say Grace leaves before Church words begin to rattle addle and isnt concerned about the watchful eyes that believe it owes them to hear what they have to say because of the charity they afforded it  The soup   The cheese sandwich 

                                                                              That isnt charity Expecting something in return for something willingly offered  Dont give if you want something back 

So. You’re witty?

I aint witless

Ah.

I smiled   fast became an eyes sprung wideopen witness

I ordered another round of drinks

And another

And another

For a skinny girl she could hold her liquor 

                                             But in the end I was bigger than she was

Later that night she slept like a baby

It was pleasant to lie beside her watch her purse her lips watch her eyes move behind her eyelids wonder what she saw  It was pleasant her occasional snortsher mumble of disconnected words like answers to a crossword puzzle in her roulette mind  

When she woke in the morning roused by the smell of coffee brewing she stretched a stretch Id never seen or imagined could be stretched

Her eyes fluttered

She looked at me

She mewed good morning

I stroked her headher sleepy head I stroked her wildpressed hair groaned good morning

Hmmmm. 

           she smiled closed her eyes again

I kissed her on the forehead  Youre still drunk  

She touched the tip of her nose with her tongue I’m still drunk.

Coffee

Tea or me.  she didnt open her eyes 

                                       You’re witty, you’re supposed to say coffee, tea or me. she stretched her stretch again opened her eyes looked into mine

   You

Me?  Tarzan.  Her body sifted towards me

Look whos witty  Yes you Jane

I like the way you think.

 

The coffee burned

8ishness,  4th of July, 2007

1410,  Thursday,  27  7. 23