when he wrote he didnt pay attention to his landline phone
                                                               he was wrioting

IF it was someone he may want to talk with he had conditioned them to wait for the recorded message to conclude it was his daughters voice  she objected to his recording Its yer dime  speak  and at its conclusion theyd begin talking to him  Dad. Papa. Joe. It’s your father. It’s your mother. the conditioning he insisted on prevailed it allowed him time to finish a thought he was working or a quick ! to recall where he was then he could stand cross the room to the telephone  YO! Yagot me

“Gud  Bye.”

four successive calls this morning that laboured his recorded message nothing  dead air  then “Gud  Bye.”  a recorded voice sounded German  an accent 

a machine talking to a machine

they could spend all day together for what it was worth

who was he to interrupt their affairs intercede upon their fulfilling transactions

now some people might be goaded to curiosity and pickup  then likely start all sorts of machinationstrigger a human being to jump in 
                  the plot thickens

and other people couldnt understand why he wouldnt pickup wasnt it possible he was missing out on an opportunity You say you’re curious.

Yes he replied But perhaps it hasnt occurred to you that as I wriote I am pursuing my curiosity  Why would I let me be interrupted by a machine  Its rare today that a human telemarketer would wait through a message in order to leave theirs  

Smart machines yaknow cheaper than human labour

I aint playing the game

the interface muttered Gud  Bye

three more callsthe same rang at his back before he went out that afternoon for provisions

he liked that he was wasting their money which was consistent to solicitations that came through the post credit cards that he opened at the box took out the included-envelope

NO POSTAGE
NECESSARY
IF MAILED
IN THE
UNITED STATES

                                                                     licked the flap sealing it then left it for the mailman to collect the next day extracting his ounce of flesh from the corporate body hed contact if he was interested in their product 24% interest didnt interest him not when overnight borrowing from the Fed was at 2.25% to 2.50% 

some might call that American Capitalism

others might call that American Greed

he called it rape

the fourfive envelopes he mailed back weekly amused him

      

1107,  Twosday,  30  7. 19

The Box Tops  The Letter  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIWY8UyW9bw
The Kinks  Sunny Afternoon  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIKsHh3BFPI

geheimnisse  German  secrets he plucked from the internet Diese Geheimnisse warden nur denen aufgedeckt, die Moglichkeit bekommen damit zu spielen Those secrets are revealed only to those who have the opportunity to play with it

hmm 

          to have liberty to play with a secret mebbe an inappropriate quote to have appropriateddoes one really play with a secret a secret shared among individuals  likely to the bereft of others who are disadvantaged by a secret or secrets

geheimnisse when he read the word in a scifi novel his immediate thought was Gethsemane he woandered if the two perhaps shared a root word he checked The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (1973) and found gethsemane “Any instance or place of great suffering” and Gethsemane “The garden outside Jerusalem that was the scene of the agony and the arrest of Jesus”

                                              curiously the sixth entry beneath them was Gettysburg

then he checked The New Oxford American Dictionary (2005) and gethsemane is not acknowledged (censured?) although Gethsemane, Garden of “a garden between Jerusalem and the Mount of Olives, where Jesus went with his disciples after the Last Supper and was betrayed (Matt. 26: 36-46) > from Hebrew gath-shemen ‘oil press.’  Gettysburg fell to seven under Getty, J. Paul whadafuck was he doing in the dictionary and hed have to be excused for noting that gath-shemen triggered gather semen  which upped the ante  gethsemane  “a very fat or plentiful vale” poetic for valley  possibly poetic for vagina cleft cunt  semengathering

just playing out loud

                    sharing what someone prudish might suggest he ought to keep to himself keep a secret? 

what funs that

2019,  Sunday,  28  7. 19

1159,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  31  7. 19

https://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionary/gethsemane/ 

Nine Inch Nails  Closer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaA4zHMnwDs

this church the oldest in the community  its grounds  had a vibe he couldnt placecouldnt say was   sacred 

it seemed to be holdingdisguising a disturbing secret
                                                        that was his feeling

why he felt as he did had precedent

he was seduced by a churchgoer whose daughter was attending Bible class she had an hour to burn and didnt want to venture too far because shed only have to turn right around again to pick her up on time

she admitted her daughter was sketchy a disturbing mommas girl

they she and her husband were hopeful the daily one hour breaks during the summer would create some separation some distancesome perception that she didnt need to spend all her time with her mother

My daughter’s high-maintenance.  she confessed  We’re trying to break her, gently.

they fucked in her pristine white SUV a Chevy Tahoe Tahoe  Tahoe  a good breeze had kickedup blewgusted and brittle live oaks leaves falling on the vehicle sounded like rain

it was a fun fuck clothed rearrangeddisheveled clothingclasped bra pushed upher tits swelled by its pinch pressure skirt riding her waist his pants undonethey and his underwear slipped to his thighs
                                                                                         pulling themselves together she looked frantically around the backseat Panties. You see my panties?  I got em  she put her hand out  Keepin em You’re, you’re keeping my panties? Really?  Really  Why would you do that?  Memento Remembrance  Besides youan they smell wonderful

momentarily she looked exasperated but it quickly fell away  You’re a strange man.

Im strange

he entered the church parking lot off Dawson 

it was a steep driveway and forced vehicles entering it to slow waay down or scrape the hell out of their front ends but who he wondered would be in a hurry to make church

this parking lot west of the church was cut into the hillside  concrete steps fore and aft of a narrow graveled path that ran along the face of its foundation when mounted brought parishioners to either vestibule to the basins of holy water and the handhewed pews beyond

he went up on his toes to stride up the driveway

about threequarters up he saw a thing laying on the blacktophigh to the right of whitepainted lines demarking a parking spot 

he approached it from the rearhe assumed its rear 

it looked like a long shriveled Idaho potato 

it appeared from out of its eyes grew two impossiblylong painfullyfrail   legs yes legs  jointed with knees and ankles and   feet  wretched toes

it was grotesque

as he came up on it it twitched asif feeling his steps  the twitching roused itdisturbed its lethargic pathetic state and laying on its faceas best he could determine he saw two other eyes lateral  shiver and sprout growing crooked deformed arms odd elbows clawed gnarled hands that it pushed itself up onoff its face it still unrevealed and began crawling  labouring  away from him

he meant it no harm

he didnt know what it was

he wasnt afraid

he was curious but unafraid 

however it appeared to fear him 
                                  it did not recognise it was crawling into a deadendthe foundation either left or right distant  were the concrete steps 

it didnt seem capable of climbing them

it bumped its head against the wall the deadend 

he knew he couldnt offer it any aid

all he had was useless empathy

he did not approach it

he gave it a wide berth

he went left  up the graveled path climbed the steps and across an adjacent parking lot on the opposite side of the church and a second furthur behind it and continued walking home

he left the thing to the churchs devises 

never did see its face 

1646,  Sunday,  28  7. 19

1121,  Twosday,  30  7. 19

The Zombies  Summertime  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T25b-EXUS4        

he cracked it  he cracked it before he relented and asked   

it might have been a dumb question despite him believing that no question was dumb 

he asked more than his fair share of dumb questions  he was never embarrassed  a teacher  Mrs Thompson  Third grade  long ago pulled his sorry ass up out of embarrassments tawdry flames and told himannounced to the classroom  There’s no such thing as a dumb question. I’d say, in this class, there’s someone else who’s wondering as you did, Joe, but were afraid to ask because they were concerned that other students might think their question was dumb. Good for you, Joe. Good for you for having the courage to open your mouth, keep your mind open, being curious; asking.

he crackedhe answered his question 

                                       Why do people who drive enormous pickup trucks waste theirs and everyone elses time who wait on them as they haltingly uncoordinatedly slowly back into a parking space

he came close to asking several times

then it occurred to him

theyre backing into space into unoccupied space  it cant suddenly appearseemingly out of nowhere  disconnected unobservant and be runover  like someone obsessedtalking on their fone and making their ignorance and safety anothers concern

                   that also goes for those who drive in a parking lot believing their right-of-way belligerently careless if someone is backing outhad looked  but when they looked the belligerent hadnt come around the corner too fast for conditions – because ofcourse – they own the road

then leaving their parking spot they can look left and right and indubitably see everything from their perch before them

he was latently damn near emphatic  HUR

1349,  Sunday,  21  7. 19

1234,  Saturday,  27  7. 19

The Doors  Riders on the Storm  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCqvAf4odKE      

walkedreading in the brightblinding sunlight he threw a look up out over the top of his book in time to see a buxom woman emerging from a church with a man at her elbow he held it literally  guiding her as if she were a child asif she were his property

fuck him 

he eyeballed her

as they approached each other he nodded to her

she had noticed him

she nodded back

her escort on his puss revealed his displeasure he didnt like being excised that he was simple windowdressings in the moment  

he and she acknowledging each other had nothing to do with him

Poor baby

she was busty  clad to her throat in a modest cornflower dress 

he had to be blind not to see her ampleness 

fabric hides but fabric cant deny the foundation under it

he flashedback not twelve hours prior at work he worked in a liquor store liquor a couple came inHA  a couple breasts and her companion

dont get him wrong

he wasnt sexualising her

she sexualised herself  wore a wideopen baremidriff blouse 

they bought a bottle of tequila Don Julio 1942

he had to fetch it from behind locked glass for them

when he handed it forward to them she accepted it and held its tall length between her breasts

her companion chuckled

the implication wasnt lost on him

at the counter he asked if they had a telephone number  a number to discount the Don Julio

she shook her head seductively smiling pulled her hair back and away from her shoulders  one arm uphand clutching it  fact was it was hot outside  the airconditioning inside had to feel good on her skinher shaven armpit  on the sheen that painted her throat and sternum

she gave him her number  My number is  he had some difficulty hearing the ten-digit number  her breasts getting in the way her wolfishcarnivorous brightwhite eventoothed smile  

Franks name populated  he assumed her companions nameher boyfriends name  

she wasnt wearing a ring

Excellent  he nodded to Frank saying to her  Dont lose him he saved you thirty bucks

turning sideways she said I’m not going to lose you, am I? her blouse slipped he gazed at her aureole  her quiet nipple peaking slightly at the chill of the airconditioing blowing down on them   

she and Frank laughed

he handed her his creditcard

she turned right

her blouse slipped exposing her right breast  aureole   nipple 

he didnt gaze

he admired

a woman wouldnt wear such a blouse if she didnt want to be admiredlooked at  he could suppose although it might depend upon who was looking 

when he looked up from her breast into her face she wore a curled smile

the chip machine creditcard machine beeped mutedly acknowledging her purchase  

Thank you he said to her  then looked again at her exposed breast for a moment longer  then looking up again into her attractive green eyes could be contacts Thank you

Frank took the Don Julio

he looked at him  Thank you for the purchase Frank  I expect you two will have a sensational evening

Thanks, man. We have the fixings for it.

You do  Yes you do

as Frank went left towards the doors she stepped straight back from the counter  I hope you have a real nice night too, handsome; later.

Well thank you  Youve given it a wonderful kickstart

smilingcovering her mouth too bad she pressed her breasts nicely together with her arms 

he looked  then he looked up at her  Thanks to the girls too

You’re terrible! she laughed through her fingers

Ive been told

Have a fantastic night

Thank you. I think we will.

clothing 

          one aspect  though probably one of several aspects separating the staid churchgoer and the evidently free spirit

he was Ohsoterribly happy he eyeballed both

1146, and 1413,  Sunday,  26  7. 19 

Cat Stevens  Longer Boats  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ro9M2_mjQ3w

Miles from Nowhere  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V5ArTdMyL0    

he met herrearended her at a bar 

they were moving up the aisle between the bar and bartenders the backs of customers ordering the cash register and a row of small tables and chairs and a long continuous bench against the far wall 

the aisle lead to the bathrooms and then a rear exit to outdoor seating 

someone hailed him he looked right they didnt recognise each other  mistaken identity

she stopped short

she was short

he stepped into her hardgot his hand around her shoulder to her chestpulled back so she didnt fall Are you awrightIm sorry I didnt see you pull up  Im sorry

as he spoke she looked up at him over her opposite shoulder I’m okay. she stuttersteppedstablised herself then steady she said You can let go of me now.

his hand as she worked to right herself slipped to her breast 

You can let go of me.

her breast filledexceeded his hand he hadnt expected that not of such a diminutive woman

You can let go.

he didnt want to

he did

she smiled That’s quite a grip you’ve . .

. . Sorry sorry  I didnt want you to fall

Thank you. she turned around and faced himthey stopped the line dead  I won’t charge you. Consider it a tip.

she was still smiling

Can I buy you a drinkmake up for my impropriety

Mighty big word for this bar. I’d like that. Please.

he stepped sideways and fended a space for her to enter

they stood face to chestclosely he stooped a bit over the din and asked What would you like to drink

If it’d be alright, I’d like a lemondrop martini, the rim lightly sugared.

rim

music to his ears

she was midway midway to kiss him or give him head

she smiled again as if reading his mindEdge. she said  I should have said edge, sugared edge, not rim.

Pretty transparent 

Not really. I can still feel your hand at my breast. We aren’t offended.

We

Rachel and I. Lottie’s my left breast. Say hello girls, they’re my girls.

he looked down into her cleavagenever would have seen it from behind Hello girls

he held out his hand  Im Joe

she took his hand in both of hers shook it firmly Saundra.

Nice to meet you Saundra

Quite an elaborate meeting,eh, Joe?. Though I’m happy we have.

Me too  Lemondrop  Yes  Id love to buy you a lemondrop  slightly sugared    rim  her smile returned  Just wanna stay in the moment while I plunge into this maelstrom dont know when Ill be back

I’ll cross the aisle. A couple are leaving the bench. I’ll be there.

Ill meet you

over the evening he bought her three lemondrops 

You’re fun to be with, talk with, you’re very animated. How it is you’re out, and here?

How do you mean out

I’m having a hard time understanding you’re unattached.

This is an old watering hole of mine  I used to come here every Friday after work and have a drink meet my wife

You’re married?

No  

My wife died

I’m terribly sorry.  a tear-sheen grew in her eyes

Thank you

she cleared her throat So youre single?

Ha  I think widower not single 

I havent thought single

Are you seeing anyone, regularly?

No  I date

May I ask how long has your wife has been dead?

You want it by years  or by the days

You’re still in love with her.

Ill always be in love with her

Thank you  Nobody has asked in a long time  Dates seem to be content to be dates

She died January 2010

Nine years ago.

Yes

I say you’re single because you act very much like you’re single. You’re attractive, witty, you exude a hard-to-believe happiness; confident demeanor, very masculine; very self-assured.  

I can see that women respond to you.

Do you have a girlfriend?

Do you have a boyfriend

I don’t have a boyfriend. My ex cheated on me.

If I had a girlfriend I wouldnt be here  Your boyfriend was an idiot 

I think so, I like to think so. I only hope I caught him early; that I also wasn’t stupid for long.

Him cheating on you doesnt make you stupid

I believe women think otherwise.

Nobody needs a selfish pig in their life

If they wanna see somebody else  got an itch to scratch that theyre unwilling to share with you  Then be a man be a woman  Be honest  Say so

Are you like that?

What  Honest

Yah

Im honest to the point of being painfully honest  Ive been told

But I figure this is our one merrygoround 

Rides over

Its over

Hmm. I’m unfamiliar.

Thats not true 

Youre familiar now

Would you like another drink

No, no thank you.  Would you like to walk me home?

Sweet  Within walking distance  Smart girl

It’s kind of a longish walk.

The best kind We can walk and talk  The talking always strips away distance then seemingly makes the time too short

If you feel it’s too short, you can always walk me up to my fourth floor flat.

I could do that

I bet you can do a lot of things.

Yabetcha  Just ask

0308, and 1533,  Saturday,  27  7. 19