improvisation

               some lives are an improvisationmade up on the fly  sometimes made up

there wasnt a plan

he improvised

he saw family and friends and acquaintances who had plans which for the most part had been successful  some wildly successful  

he liked that they succeededhe admired them

on occasionthough a person said that they believed he begrudged them their successthat he was quietly jealous or envious  It’s understandable. Why wouldn’t you be? they have so much more than you.

Aww then you dont know me

                               and with that admission he ended the relationship

no company was better than bad company

his daughters suggested he might want to relax his rigid standards  be more flexible 

Ah my loves easy for you to say  You can do yoga

Yoga? What does yoga have to do with anything?

As you know well my bodymy joints havent the flexibility you exhibit  That said  my inflexibility is inborn  It is innate  It is my nature 

Man, you can be so stubborn.

Yet again another aspect of my nature  Dont worry Ill be fine  You know I can entertain myself

he always had that  ability

he was social to an extentpreferring his society in small doses

working as a clerk in a liquor store provided him that  his customers knew what they wanted  in ‘n out propositions

he was the final hurtle they had to clear

not that they knew that 

his regulars were a treat  they were on first name basis

then he had irregular regulars those who stopped so far apart that he hadnt learned their names his name was obvious he worn it pinned on his apron yet while he didnt remember their names  he certainly recalled their faces

she had been inmaybe a half dozen times over the last two years  always very pleasant always a nice surprise

their first interaction was memorable because she wanted to buy a nice whiskey for her husbandshe wanted to spend  she said  a memorable amount on it

he explained he was partial to Irish whiskey what did her husband prefer  might it rather be a Scotch

she smiled a smile that perfectly fit her face

she wasnt beautiful but she certainly gave beauty a run for its money he recognised it was her overall expressionspursing her lipsher dimplesbright engaging eyes all going off simultaneously like fireworks

when she laughed she didnt cover her mouth

he convinced her to buy a 21 year old Redbreast What man can say no to a 21 year old breast he said with a wink Youre welcome to steal my line if yalike

she blushed beautifully maybe she was beautiful  

since then they were fast friends their smiles quickly greeting each othereven before they could speak

he couldnt say for herhe assumed she might but he terribly enjoyed their brief conversations over the counter during her purchase

this evening she came in again

it was raining

she wore a bright red vinyl raincoat midthigh it played well with her auburn hair and complexion she wore it over a deep green Vneck sweater black leggings black halfboots modest heels

raindrops clung to her hair

she was purchasing a bottle of red wine I didnt ask for your help tonight because you said you don’t prefer wine.

Youre rightexcellent memory among other things his eye running to her cleavage attributes  tastes  thats a very attractive pendant Ill guess you bought it for yourself

Stop she said placing her fingers to her necklace You’ll make be blush.

But you wear it so well Your colouring becomes you

and she blushed

I did buy it for myself.

How did you know?

It  seems how shall I say   declarative Although we dont know each other well I would venture to guess only you could have given it to yourself It comes from a deep place

as he spoke she was looking at it between her fingers  It is. she looked up at him  That’s very perceptive of you.

Well Not really  Its framed so very well

she blushed again

then he almost surprised himself Have you ever had a naked picture taken of you she blushed deeper not that Im offeringNo Im not a photographer But I do enjoy photography I would hope if you had that it is in black and white

she looked down to her pendant she still held it in her fingers then she looked up at him I can’t believe I’m saying this; but yes.

Why?

Your pendant told me Perhaps you might consider sharing a favorite with me

Maybe I might.

Id like that

For some reason, odd reason . . I think I might like that too.

he didnt saw that conversation coming

   

                                            spontaneity isnt planned

1129,  Reggae Friday,  30  11. 18 

Keith Jarrett  The Koln Concert  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzVlpPY2gsY&list=OLAK5uy_lapldioAF_TED2mynorLZzhTXmhfdcZfI

https://www.udiscovermusic.com/stories/koln-concert-keith-jarrett/

Nov29

wheels on the bus go round and round round and round rou . . flat . . .  wobble wobble flat wooble wooble  flat  aahflat

ohwell   the bus is dead in its tracks

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/neal-katyal-this-is-the-beginning-of-the-end-for-trump-1384324675700

1132,  Thursday,  29  11. 18

781 days remaining or less

he felt that that was the thing about ambient music music he listened toheard  although often without a source  simply awash inside his skull

then other times he knew its source

he almost cried when it sounded like a wood croquet ball whirling through blades of grass that were too long for the game the sound of a ball tinkingcaroming off a metal hoop or knocking against a wood stake the nyuk of one ball glancing off anotherhe almost cried when it murmured dull like a mass of bees deep inside their hive or one bee desperate drowning in a pool of water a queue of wee birds unseen calling from inside a thicket or from a long row of lean decorative leafy bushes the sigh of unpicked ripe apricots and Meyer lemons

                                                                                       that someone could capture and emanate those sounds astonished him

often he sought silence to let it play with him

recently he made a road trip 

his old vehicles radio and cassette player didnt work 

he refused to spend the money to replace them Everything has its time was his push back when family and friends suggested he replace them replace them because they couldnt travel alone in their automobiles if they didnt have music if they didnt have distraction

they could  really

they preferred not to

nonetheless he ignored them he let his thoughts entertain himbuoyed on the ambient sound of his tires on the pavementthe difference between stretches of roadof newlaid roadsof roads that needed attention 

each had their own voice 

sometimes he heard the bored complaints or disdain of inanimate objects that rode with him  dresser drawers nightstands a chest laid on its side  another time two agitated Styrofoam containers bitched at having to rub shoulders with the spare tire he carried in the rear of the vehicle rather than held up against its undercarriage between the hind wheels  subtly they talked between themselves he heard then they got up on their high horses suddenlyballsy and brayed outraged at him  Shaddup back there or Ill pull over an throw you out  Were within fifteen minutes of arriving but if yawanna bitch Ill lose you in a heartbeat

they quit

they shut up 

they were ambient 

                    however not in a sense he enjoyed

                       

 

1448,  Twosday,  27  11. 18

1231,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  28  11. 18

Hiroshi Yoshimura  Music for Nine Post Cards   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyY7NU4cbtY  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKtwlHV1-O8

he recognised that his going and returning were bookended by Drumpfs horseshit

in good conscience however he couldnt refrain from holding the ignorant manchild – he certainly wasnt a mannot to the esteem or relevance he demanded comprised a good man good is debatable but he grew up with a racist father who never provided him a scintilla of reason or fact to defend his racism

                                                                       other than his father was a racist

he and his grandfather never would have gotten along

it was probably a good thing that he died when he was a boy

                                                                 that was a troubling admission regarding a man he loved

however he would never let the tyranny of family dictate his reasoning

                                                                          they could hang if their views crossed his

hed didnt respect any noblesse oblige his family tried to enforce

he respected who he was

therefore he crossed anyone who attempted to defame him as a man or an American

1648,  Twosday,  27  11. 18

Drumpf describes “grabbers”

                               which is an utterly madeup spur-of-the-moment dumb Drumpfian term  or description

or as in “Paradise CA or Pleasure CA”

to be fair despicable Drumpf knows exactlyEXACTLY  what a grabber is

idiot

                                                                                             1633,  Twosday,  27  11. 18

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-suggests-without-evidence-that-some-tear-gassed-migrants-were-grabbers-who-took-others-children/2018/11/26/3d43e4ba-f1ea-11e8-aeea-b85fd44449f5_story.html?utm_term=.3515e1116d50

https://people.com/politics/trump-wildfire-california-town-paradise-pleasure/

ridin south an spendin a few days with my family where were thankful and grateful their house still stands  

the fire had eyes
                 it swept smartly around and away from where our guardian angels stood

Thankful,  22  11. 18

Jimi  Fire  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mK8ZB512ij8

! ! ! !

the FAKE PRESIDENTs Statement!  wait  !!!! !

-- imagine  to remain for all time held tight and deep in the annals of the American Presidency --

America First!

The world is a very dangerous place!

The country of Iran, as an example, is responsible for a bloody proxy war against Saudi Arabia in Yemen, trying to destabilize Iraq’s fragile attempt at democracy, supporting the terror group Hezbollah in Lebanon, propping up dictator Bashar Assad in Syria (who has killed millions of his own citizens), and much more. Likewise, the Iranians have killed many Americans and other innocent people throughout the Middle East. Iran states openly, and with great force, “Death to America!” and “Death to Israel!” Iran is considered “the world’s leading sponsor of terror.”

On the other hand, Saudi Arabia would gladly withdraw from Yemen if the Iranians would agree to leave. They would immediately provide desperately needed humanitarian assistance. Additionally, Saudi Arabia has agreed to spend billions of dollars in leading the fight against Radical Islamic Terrorism.

After my heavily negotiated trip to Saudi Arabia last year, the Kingdom agreed to spend and invest $450 billion in the United States. This is a record amount of money. It will create hundreds of thousands of jobs, tremendous economic development, and much additional wealth for the United States. Of the $450 billion, $110 billion will be spent on the purchase of military equipment from Boeing, Lockheed Martin, Raytheon and many other great U.S. defense contractors. If we foolishly cancel these contracts, Russia and China would be the enormous beneficiaries – and very happy to acquire all of this newfound business. It would be a wonderful gift to them directly from the United States!

The crime against Jamal Khashoggi was a terrible one, and one that our country does not condone. Indeed, we have taken strong action against those already known to have participated in the murder. After great independent research, we now know many details of this horrible crime. We have already sanctioned 17 Saudis known to have been involved in the murder of Mr. Khashoggi, and the disposal of his body.

Representatives of Saudi Arabia say that Jamal Khashoggi was an “enemy of the state” and a member of the Muslim Brotherhood, but my decision is in no way based on that – this is an unacceptable and horrible crime. King Salman and Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman vigorously deny any knowledge of the planning or execution of the murder of Mr. Khashoggi. Our intelligence agencies continue to assess all information, but it could very well be that the Crown Prince had knowledge of this tragic event – maybe he did and maybe he didn’t!

That being said, we may never know all of the facts surrounding the murder of Mr. Jamal Khashoggi. In any case, our relationship is with the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. They have been a great ally in our very important fight against Iran. The United States intends to remain a steadfast partner of Saudi Arabia to ensure the interests of our country, Israel and all other partners in the region. It is our paramount goal to fully eliminate the threat of terrorism throughout the world!

I understand there are members of Congress who, for political or other reasons, would like to go in a different direction – and they are free to do so. I will consider whatever ideas are presented to me, but only if they are consistent with the absolute security and safety of America. After the United States, Saudi Arabia is the largest oil producing nation in the world. They have worked closely with us and have been very responsive to my requests to keeping oil prices at reasonable levels – so important for the world. As President of the United States I intend to ensure that, in a very dangerous world, America is pursuing its national interests and vigorously contesting countries that wish to do us harm. Very simply it is called America First!

20 November 2018

makes one wonder what President John F. Kennedy might have said

he liked feralhe liked wild even better

he liked it in his pets

he reallyreally liked it in women

                                         not that this had anything to do with womenhe wished

it had to do with his cat october she was feral

only a year with him and indieonce upon a time feralborn feral  indie was eight and a half now  all that time indoors only claiming feral birthright  instinct notsomuch

october on the other hand was still freshwet behind the ears  she had moments he never saw coming  although thats the hallmark of something wild

to her manners he attributed at least a soft simmering of domesticity he never said domestic out loud dom could sound like dumb and not an animal alive that takes to dumbtakes to an insult

however there remained a wild hair tucked up her ass

                                                       and when it presented she became teeth and claws a squirmingwhirling dervish packing ginsu blades and quicker than a Cuisinart

typically though when she went nutswhen she mainlineddosed on femininefeline adrenaline he GOT THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY

his brotherinlaw was over for Sunday Night football GAME ON! he had to admit he liked the new promotion

october in her year with him was only familiar with one other human beinghis girlfriendOhbrother she was wild

they were two peas in a pod

his male presence subdued october

she hid

it was time to eat 

he fed his three outdoor beasts cats first  bigfoot wee Robert

reentering the house he called Time to eat

indie bound down from the couch from where he laid beside his brotherinlaws thigh

no october

october he called as he went into the kitchen she usually beat him into the kitchen when he cried Time to eat

he split a small can of wet catfood onto two plates and filled a tin cup with kibble

october he called again

no october

Awright indie  Lets do this thing 

indie followed him into the bathroom where he set his plate of wetfood down refilled a small bowl with dryfood for him because he had to shut indie behind a door otherwise october scarfed her food in the kitchen like a Marine then went after his

he softly shut the bathroom door and in the hall called Hey little girl where are you

he heard her mew

George you hear where that mew came from

She mewed?

Big helpthanks  october  where you at little girl

Over GAME ON! he caught her mew again 

the diningroom screen door leading to the deck

october

mew

she tucked herself unseen behind the rollered pedestal of the oak dining table  mew

he walked over to herhis back to the sliding screen door Hey pretty girl Time to eat baby You must be hungry Lets eat

she mewed again and cautiously moved to his feet

Knucklehead George is freaking you out a bit  Here  Ill stay between you and himyou dont even have to see him

she didnt

she curled up into his left armher nose to his armpit  at the arm of the couch just before entering the kitchen she wen t  n u t  s  a flurry a cry and fled up his arm where he trapped her with his right hand at his shoulder and throat  going into the kitchenMOTHERFUCK he spun oneeighty and let go of her  she dropped heavily onto the linoleum floor GODDAMMITOCTOBER then completing the full threesixty YOUR FOOD

she stood motionless where she landed 

then apparently collecting her senses she gamely trotted over to her food where he set down under the kitchen window before feeding indie

She getcha? his brotherinlaw asked from the livingroom

She had to he said

he looked

he wore a longsleeved sweatshirt arms pushed up to his elbows 

Yeah Got my left hand forearm top of my right hand                                                                 

Your throat?

Dont think so   Nah No scratch burn yaknow

I do.

You do  Its been a long time since you had a cat

It has been, but you tend to wear scars from cat scratches.

Yado he looked down at his left hand she got him in the meaty part just under his thumb wrist up to inside where his thumb went separate from his fingers blood flowed Ill be in George Gotta take care of thisstop the bleeding

Need help?

Nah watch the game Enjoy the beer the pretzels  Be right in he grabbed paper towels threw a quick wrap on the scratches to his forearmpulled his sweatshirt sleeve over them to hold them in place  he ran cold water in the sink put his hand under it  the red blood went rose FUCK  Got me good

Sure you don’t need help?

Yah Thank you thank you though he turned to october who as he looked was finishing her dinner Got me good baby he said

october broke towards the bathroom then stutterstepped remembering George he figured she slowed and stepped behind him he turned left to catch her negotiate something new Ahshit nahnah no no  no there were halfdollarsized bloodsplats on the floor under where he clenched his hand shut trying to staunch the immediate bleeding 

october was at one lapping it she finished and went on to the next

Whadafuck he thought she was onto the next  and the next Ya lil fuckin Hoover she looked up over her shoulder at him smacked her lips  Be sure you finish allget it all 

she didnt miss one  drawn like feral is to raw meat

wild thang

                    he did admire wild

         

1756,  Twosday,  20  11. 18

1544,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  21  11. 18

Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!

anif you dont celebrate Thanksgiving – Happy Thursday! my second most favorite day of the week

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wzULnlHr8w

                                    Mississippi (that was a fun state to learn how to spellmemorise when he was a boy  

he thrilled pronouncing M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I  it rolled off his tongue) 

M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-Is senatorial run-off election between Democrat Espy and female Republican Hyde-Smith a necessary distinction to be made since she is a Republican woman who accepted serving the FAKE PRESIDENT  that is worthwhile and memorable . . however  that may be because her pussy wasnt worth grabbing

Rachel Maddow reported that Hyde-Smith said she would like to attend a public hanging “AKA” waitwait   wait a minute  he thought Rachel might have meant KKK but was too polite to say on national television “AKA . . a lynching, she got questions about that from Mississippi reporters . .”

                                                             he certainly hoped so
https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/polls-show-tightening-race-in-mississippi-senate-run-off-1375540291968?v=raila&

                                                                                            1536,  Twosday,  20  11. 18 

You know me he said to indie as indie cried displeasure at being displaced from his lap I have to refill my coffee and whisky

        he was listening to Jiro Inagaki & His Soul Medias Breeze while reading a Guardian review of Rachel Cusks trilogy interspersed with The Smithsonians review of Edna O’Briens evil The Little Red Chairs interspersed only in the sense the Guardian cited O’Brien and forced his hand to remind himself why he knew her name although why he did remained unfound he had an OhYes I remember moment then he dawdled at the articles as a satiated babe might at his mothers breasts or maybe at one of the breasts of his sixpak of wet nurses

Cusk confided during an interview I cannot bear having my photograph taken . . I always think that I won’t be in it.

. . think that I wont be in it

he was at home with her remark

                                  he no longer had to worry photographs photographers he knew and hung out had learned to pointed their weapons in other directions away from him they knew his disdainhis near-Indian belief that pictures could steal your soulyour essence they didnt want to purchase a new camera to replace one hed smash once he dashed a camera against nearly ninetydegree seismicturned California shale after repeating himself twicewarning DONT  his destruction emoted a frantic message through the collective unconsciousthe yawning nether he heard he was also held up in posts on the book of face and other online mediamedia medulla oblongata fingered a rampant automaton rather than someone with respect for themselves and guarded their anonymity    

                                                                                             suddenly he was righteous noxious  as notorious as a California wildfire

hed admit he was prone to adrenaline rusheshis instincts averred or tipped his basic instinct was to fight not the green salad of fight or flight

the military might have loved to have him but the senselessness to blindly act on orders was beyond his comprehension commonsense rationale

he awoke restless  irritable

actually he woke frustratedhis sister died recently and she waft into his dreamsflickering like a candle in the windthen as suddenly escaping him 

he wept in his dreams

when he woke he had tears on his cheeks

he couldnt concentrate

it was asif his consciousness was a pane of glass and had been dropped flat and broke but did not separate their edges prisms  

his conscious aspect infected his unconsciousness and sleepYes he typically had surreal nonlinear dreams but theyd now turned on their heads gone topsyturvy insideout fractal he consisted of shifting genders multiple sensual POVs crowding each othertalking over one another frenetic

                                               he suspectedknew he knew until he emotionally came to grips with her deathhe understood death he wasnt going to be able to staunch the deep artesian vein from which his dreams flowed

it was an odd place for him to be

                                  he was usually very good negotiating the labyrinths and convolutions his dreaming threw at himhe was at home in them and able to escape without unwinding Ariadnes thread his True North compass  base reckoning were useless

if he was ever ADD this was it

                                 but his cat on his lap black coffee and whisky helped look at him selfmedicating

though better than meds

Time heels all wounds

 

1243 (usually 1234),  Monday,  19  11. 18

1111,  Twosday,  20  11. 18

Jiro Inagaki & His Soul Media  Breeze  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHzs0d-cBuI