he walked past a window that gaze inside the basement of the Community Church

he had come up on the church from the parking lot behind it and going around behind its back he descended the aged concrete steps onto a narrow walk hemmed by a retaining wall crowned with rosemary that ran along its side

it is the oldest church in the one hundred and ten year old city  

framed in the last window he walked past was strict ladderbacked wood armchair

it didnt look comfortable 

perhaps it was a penance chair

                                 a penance chair like the penance corners he stood in as a boy at homewhen crossed his parents or grandmother his uncle or aunt or any of the long parade of elder relatives who on occasion either lived there or visited his grandmothers twoflat  and the corners where he also stood in at school when he defiantly crossed his teachers

he had ideas of his own

                          they sent him to the cornersthe blinders to think hard about what he did wrong  he knew what they thought he did wrong before he was made to stand in them  the benefit the punishment provided him was the time to ruminate on why his particular idea had to be punished  why he was forced to wear a DUNCE cap 

their intention was to shame himdiminish his gall to dare to express his thoughts out loud

fortunately for him he was able to put down his confusion early    

despite what his family or teachers said or implied  that it was critical he challenged authority  he wasnt to challenge theirs

He can be a difficult child his teachers told his parents during school conferences

He can be a difficult child his relatives told his parents during telephone calls or when they visited 

it takes a village to raise a child

                                 and when he was made aware of that he believed the touted village meant to raise him would be people who didnt know him and rather made objective perceptions regarding him it wasnt meant to be a village of intimates  of subjective perceptions  by those who might be concerned that he would badly reflect on them  and they didnt want that therefore prejudiced they sought to wrangle him to perform what they wanted from himwhat the needed from him

and he thought  Its my life I do what I want  

were meant to live our lives for ourselves to become the best we can be for ourselves     

he wouldnt take a knee  no matter how many corners he was forced to stand in

he imagined  blinkered  it could be worsehe imagined devises and plots to break him to form him in their mould
to create his service for them

NO his life wasnt going to play out the way they wanted

                                                             thank gawd for interesting corners

the chair in the church window

he thought an electric chair would be more appealing

1518,  Twosday,  30  10. 18

1116, Day-between-Two-Ts,  31  10. 18  Happy Halloween!

The Animals  It’s My Life  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxJxcvS8gck

Asshole

whoever they were they had followed up behind him far too close and when he stoppeddead in his tracks  the passage too arresting  they hit him with their car and he flopped heavily willfully on top their hood 

he heard them creeping behind himhe could almost hear their breathing their giggle as they thought theyd sneakup on himblow their hornfrighten him  but they had no idea how many drivers thought they could frighten him  not understanding that reading didnt make him deaf or negate his other senses 

it was too bad he couldnt negate assholes

You, motherfucker the driver said as he got out of his car looking at his dented hood  you’re gonna pay for damages.

You hit me

. . .

And if yadont get yer ass back in yer car right now Im gonna hit you and aint no bodyshop gonna be able to correct the damages Ill inflict  Youll need a really good plastic surgeon

. . .

Count your blessings asshole

ordinarily he wouldnt have let this Bozo get under his skinthereve been many more assholes than people might think hed been clipped by car mirrorsdrivers trying to unnerve him by passing real real close 

                                                                           too bad he didnt carry a brick
in the canvas bookbag slung over his shoulder the weight inside it was other books he wouldnt throw a book at a car he had too much respect for books but mebbe he would start carrying a brick he had several left over from the mulch pit he fashioned in his backyard  Mebbe

the asshole smart got back in his car after despondently eyeing the depressionthe groove in his hood  then with some reluctance he backed up his vehicle because he wasnt stepping out of the road  

Bozo drove around him

                        he may have contemplated vehicular manslaughter but he didnt have the balls had he the balls they would have had a fist fight but maybe showing up late for work with his face busted and bleeding wasnt the best idea

he may also have thought this wasnt the hill to die on

                                                        while on the other hand he was willing to die on every gawddamn hill he found if for nothing more than it affording him a better overlook of his surroundings

what heeled himhad brought him to a stop was a passage from Galeanos Open Veins of Latin America 

he just started reading it  

page twentythree  ten pages in

                                 “The Crown was mortgaged. It owed all of the silver payments (from Potosi, now Bolivia), before they arrived, to the German, Genoese, Flemish, and Spanish bankers. The same fate befell most of the duty collected in Spain itself: in 1543, 65 percent of all royal revenues went to paying annuities on debts. Only in a minimal way did Latin American silver enter the Spanish economy; although formally registered in Seville, it ended in the hands of the Fuggers, the powerful bankers who had advanced to the Pope the funds needed to finish St. Peter’s, and of other big moneylenders of the period, such as the Welters, the Shetzes, and the Grimaldis. The silver also went to paying for the export of non-Spanish merchandise to the New World. 

"The rich empire had a poor metropolis, although the illusions of prosperity blew increasingly large bubbles into the air. The Crown kept opening new war fronts, while on Spanish soil the aristocracy devoted itself to extravagance, the priests and warriors, nobles and beggars, multiplied as dizzily as living costs and interest rates. Industry died with the birth of great sterile latifundia, and Spain’s sick economy could not stand up to the impact of rising food and merchandise that was the inevitable result of colonial (military) expansion. The big rise in public expenditures and choking pressure of the overseas possessions’ consumer needs accelerated trade deficits and set off galloping inflations.”

Hmm

       sounded like todays pious Republicans who enabled Drumpfs tax cuts for Corporate America and the wealthiest Americans who without sleightofhand or brusque announcement had no intentions of any money escaping their grasp or trickle down through their watertight fists

and for his keen amazement he got tagged in the ass clown was probably shooting a video with his cellfone to post later

the driver was smart not to challenge him

his ire was compounded

                        and compounded he had eight arms eight fists and lusted for the wet of hot blood even if it was his own his toes overhung a dark precipice 

sometimes a madness in him tried to thumb an anonymous ride 

1018,  Twosday,  30  10. 18

Eszter Balint Un Poison Violent, C'est Ca L'Amour  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0hvpQvjNec

theyre funny

when are these guys going to grow their moustaches? they think we cant see them

                                                                                           theyre far beyond growing a pair of balls

they were born in the United States have enjoyed their birthright citizenship  but because of the Caravan or the objections they have to othercoloured people or their fantasy to create an all-Wuhwuhwuhite Nation they want to suborn the Fourteenth Amendment of the Constitution  ratified in 1868  one of our Reconstruction Amendments  (and for those who have yet to read it – maybe because they dont like to read “I don’t have time to read.” which I would counter If youre breathing you can read – Im quoting the First Section: 

                                                               “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” – that didnt hurt too muchdid it?)

SHAME ON THEM

                 men arent what they once were  women havent change

0911,  Twosday,  30  10. 18

811 days remaining or less buhbye Drumpf

FAKE PRESIDENT says Jump! Lindsey asks How high?  https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/graham-to-introduce-legislation-to-end-birthright-citizenship/ar-BBP6UUh?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=mailsignout

Wahwahwahwahite

Wahwahwahwahite https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/18/us/church-attacked-in-charleston-south-carolina.html

Wahwahwahwahite https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2017/local/charlottesville-timeline/?utm_term=.8a2bd7afdf3b

Wahwahwahwahite https://www.cbsnews.com/live-news/pittsburgh-shooting-synagogue-today-suspect-robert-bowers-squirrel-hill-live-updates-2018-10-29/

Wahwahwahwahite https://www.msnbc.com/deadline-white-house/watch/amid-a-national-crisis-trump-presides-over-mini-magarally-in-the-east-room-1354244675857?v=raila& :  “I call em fake polls.”

                                                                                         and I call him a FAKE PRESIDENT

1833, Moinday,  29  10. 18

Im back Had been monkeying around this weekend

so Drumpf wants to be a strongman(hes not  Id bet hes never been in a fight -- show me the scars show me his bruised babyfat)  

he wants to be an authoritarian badly   I’m a nationalist

he wants to be like Putin

                         like Kim Jong-un like Xi Jinping like Recep Tayyip Erdoğan like Mohammed Bin Salman who thought he could get away with murder like DurterteDrumpf wants to be a durtydurty Leader who would have His People salute and cheer him  stoke his sensitive ego  

he desires sycophants

                      sicko-phants vying for His Favor  sicko-pants inanely braying established Party talking points who seek to position themselvesposition their Reality-TV characters  their awesome avatars

sicko-phants panting like obedient dogs  or guard dogs for now  but some dogs when you look hard in their eyes you can see they have their own machinations  and eventually could bite the hand that feeds them

1008,  Monday,  29  10. 18

at the 23minute-mark:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NidkK2rVSFs

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2018/10/donald-trump-media-loyalty-cnn-bombs

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-43361276

Honey people believe what theyre told

  

Say you’re nineteen.

Nobody’s going to believe that.

Honey, people believe what they’re told.

                                          from the film The Neon Demon 

it was about the only thing he found innarestin in the film though(SPOILER) he really liked the mountain lion that trashed Elle Fannings character Jesses motel room in Pasadena 

Reeves played a good skeez too

Honey  people believe what theyre told

our FAKE PRESIDENT believes the contrary

                                              And just remember, he lectured gathered Vets what were they thinking? remember what you’re seeing  and what you’re reading  is not what’s happening.

                                                                                  he was fingering the mediapounding his chest like a gorilla a big bad tough gorilla   

one had to be foolish if they didnt believe him wouldnt they  his crowds seem to inhale it asif it were pure oxygen

although it smelled like methane to him

                                          but hed be first to admit his nose wasnt what it was

Honey  people believe what theyre told

this  big  powerful  man obfuscatesharbors plausible deniability whenever he speaks  

he said in Houston “I’m a nationalist”  somebody hand the man a banana  he can swallow it whole in a deep gulp   

whenever he tries to act like a human being his plausible deniability is on best display

he aint got the chops

hes a carved wood boy

hes nose grows

he recites his lines as if he was a hostage

Honey  people believe what theyre told

people   them   they   yaknow    Riightwhined?  

for himself he took no ones words on faithnever did and for that hes upset and still upsets many of his family and friends its hard for them to hear that he doesnt hold them and their word to a different standard 

he wouldnt give them a pass  

                             why would he

he treated everyone the same  with equanimitywith equality

If you treat everyone the same way  they wont be surprised

                                                                  he wouldnt be either

it may take a while longer

he might be thought he was dragging his feet

but at least he wouldnt have to hear 

                                        Honey  people believe what theyre told

1943,  Twosday,  23  10. 18

0057,  Reggae Friday,  26  10. 18

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-fake-news-veterans-foreign-wars-video-watch-not-happening-a8462711.html

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2018/10/texas-trump-speech-takes-turn-nationalist-181023143833295.html

What is that? his granddaughter pointed to the top of a short bookcase at the exposed keys of a brother Charger 11

he appreciated she didnt try and touch it without asking first

his daughter and son-in-law had done their workinstilled a sense of other peoples belongings  If it’s not yours. Look. Don’t touch. 

that was refreshing it also saved him from breaking one of her fingers Thats a typewriter baby

A type writer  ?

Yes A typewriter why would she know what a typewriter was  her generation wouldnt use one  it was odd to her A typewriter is a precursor  which means it precededcame before  computers The tall mechanical keys are aligned exactly like the shallow keys on your parents laptops have the same QWERTY keyboard

I know that.

You know what

What you said.

What did I say

You know.

I do  What did I say

You said about that   that  that thing.

Typewriter

Yes. Typewriter.

Precusor

Huh?

Precusor

I remember you said the word.

Precusor Came before In a sense Im a precusor in direct line to your mother and to you and your sister  Precursor  Ancestor  Some fun huh

Ohyeah.

Yeah   QWERTY

That’s a funny word.

It is another fun word Do you remember

A  ahh   like  like a  keyboard?

Yes Try not to guess baby If you dont knowask Always ask Be curious Thats how youthats how you and how I learn Speaking for myself if I dont knowI wanna know The smartest thing you can do is ask a question because theres no such thing as a stupid question If someone says Thats a stupid question a dumb question Id give them a lot of room and decide whether or not theyd make a good friend

Why do you say that?

Do you want to associate yourself with someone who easily accuses someone else of being stupid Or dumb Those can be hurtful words hurt feelings

Aren’t some people are stupid?

Perhaps Though I like to think that either theyre too lazy to find out because they could if they wanted to they dont have to be ignorant or something may have happened to them that has diminished them or their brain

You’re strange, Grampa.

Not really baby I remember longhand printing and cursive I remember shorthand  like a secret code I remember typewriters then electric typewriters and then wordprocessors then acronyms appearedthen compressed words coined words I make up words all the time Then computers the WORD program WORD helped me go nuts  So you can say more accurately  do you understand the word accurate . .

. . Yes . .

. . Yes   What 

Accurate. Like more  detailed. Like a drawing. Like stick figures are to drawing a figure of a person or an animal. Clouds.

Clouds  Yes  A stick cloudwould be boring  Very good So you can say Im nuts or crazy  either more so than strange  You wont hurt my feelings

Grampa, nuts or crazy isn’t nice.

Im not nicedont make that mistake Im like a mirror baby Im going to treat you exactly like you treat me  I am not nice

I think you nice.

Thank you But you treat me nicely  Get it

I . . I think I do.

You do If you treat me badly Ill be in your face before you can blink Thats how I am  

That’s a little scary, Grampa.

It shouldnt be Not if you remember to treat others as you want to be treated I think that makes sense What do you think

I think you’re right.

I think youre right

   

2346,  Friday,  12  10. 18

1739, Day-between-Two-Ts, 24  10. 18

he overstayed his welcome againgot caught up in his physical fantasy  amniotic floating   turning and twisting  obscene buoyance   flying underwater

                                            he was forever overcome by its liquid beauty and freedom  Freedumb his lungs cautioned  they rapped him on his shoulder and signaled UP with their thumb  UP or drown idiot

he tried pushing up off the bottom it was hapless he couldnt purchase terra firma  the soft sandybottom shifted and slipped underfoot he glanced two quick strokes  a clump of dead coral  one foots worth  crouch purchase push rocket rise

       lucky     

he broke surface as his eyes sparkled blacknesshis ears were dumb filled with seawater  even they gasped for air

on the beach  he saw Jenny

she was calling to her son who was inside of where he was  closer to the shore

something towsomething toe  something  something   nothing  he wasnt processing anything except trying to fill his lungs sputtering seawater blowing spray  sucking at the air like it was a tit  coughingchoking  air saltwater  air  saltwa  air sal   air   air    Air aahfuck  When we burn pay attention to us his lungs cried

                                                                                                      You asshole

he cleared his throat hawked phlegm

he could feel the sea pulled at his legs  Come  Lets play some more

Ha

she was built she was difficult to ignore  Come play with me

Maybe later he yelled or at least thats what he thought he cried his hearing was still muffledstill filled with her  she spoke directly to his brain  she curled like a happy snail in the wraps and coils the living coral of his brain she moved in when he was only a boy she should have been ashamed of herself having her way with him but it was so wonderful someone had to be stupid to deny themselves pleasure a childs pleasure  why adults adoltswhatever thought pleasure was theirs alone confounded him

                                                               aahpleasure

Jenny

somethingtow toe somethingtoe tow 

Wha

     wha       he was still rockedstill reeling

he liked toes he liked Jennys toes feet he hadnt paid much attention to them before she had long toes long feet  elegant arches    Zion would be jealous

                                                      toe  toes

he had recovered enough to swim in

Jenny was with her boy

she was roughly toweling him dry

he was unhappy with his mother

she was unhappy with him

she pulled the towel down around his shoulders and let loose of it

it hung like a cape

wearing it he stomped over to another beach towel he laid on the sand near a driftwood log and squatted like an Indian

he looked out at the sea

swimming up to the beach he found his legshis footing and walked out of the water off the wet sand onto the dry hot sand hot he was grateful for its burning it reminded him of his lungs and he thought maybe it might reinforced their heattheir desperation  maybe the next time hed pay attention to them   

that was a mighty big bet 

Jenny

Not now, please. You didn’t see him swimming out after you.

he wasnt going to play volley with her  question  statement  statement  question  toe or tow  tow toe

he wasnt dumb tow  undertow   she cried to her son about undertow

No I wasnt aware he followed me As I told you I was going for a swim

He followed you.

Had I known I would have come back  Hes not big enough yet lowering his voice so the boy wouldnt hear him  Im going to have a word with him

she could twist  a statement a question

he walked over to the boy  Bryan

Yes.

This is a fine beach fine water

Yes.

I apologise I didnt know that you followed me out Had I known I wouldntve let you The sea can be treacherous Do you understand what treacherous means

I do.

Good It can be life threatening  If you keep up your swimming then next year we can swim together in the deep water

Id like to  then quietly The sea is really so very, very beautiful.

Yes She is very beautiful   A distinct pleasure

2315,  Friday,  12  10. 18

1206,  Twosday,  23  10. 18