31.12.15



looking down the barrel of New Years

rather than having an holding the bitter metaltaste of it in your mouth



an wondering

                        if the gun is loaded




what it will bring

or not



if your fingers are crossed in hope

you cant manipulate or undo its knots

if your eyes arent peeled

you wont see the conjurer coming to try an to pull the wool over them

if you arent listening for peoples lies

you will be lied to

if you dont have your nose to the wind

like any prey you will be preyed upon
   
an if God is thanked for everything  By the Grace of God 

why should people extend themselves to you  unthanked

a sincere Thank you is a rather small tithe




looking down the barrel of the New Year

I opt not to flinch

I opt to act

not react

Im not foolish enough to imagine that if I dont have some luck

I may fall on my face harder than I hope

 
I also remember my friend Bobby as a teenager sitting on a kitchen countertop

kissed by an audacious redhead in a revealing green dress exactly at midnightHappy New Year!
  

who kissing him moved him down the length of the countertop onto the stove

the electric burner she sat him on wasnt off very long

an with an OUCH! breaking the kiss he hopped from the stove an knocked her over onto her back

I helped her up

she fled


we never learned who she was





Happy New Year!





afternoon,  Sunday,  27  12. 15
1450,  Monday,  28  12. 15

30.12.15



                                             Was it         isit   easy
                                                                                                                                     Being alone



Being alone    eatingdrinking


Being alone atnight


                                   during the daylight in the sun
you can see your hand in front of your face
                                                                       see

                                                                              options

                     
at night   whathand 
                                 you can hold it up before your face but you cant see it
though its There
                           like options
There
          spooky reins in the dark leering at you right in front of your face
then a sudden light grimaces



wasit isit   easy to him

Yeah though he wasntwouldnt speak for another soul
His was plenty

he knew his way around


he didnt feel isolated


did he feel
                 feel   --   leave it as feel      --      Isolation(is that feeling)


How could you possibly know
Isolated
              you wouldnt know what was outside of you in the daylight or at night




Chaos
    Order yet formed




1912,  Saturday,  12  12. 15