hed seen it although he would he was consciousalert to small details the minute things that differentiated one from another

a petite silver spider inhabited the canister lamp above his daughters bed a hospital bed

it fit betterallowed better access to her in the sunroom at the rear of the house

the sunroom was haphazardly acquiredincorporated into the house

he knew that because he was a carpenter near half his life until he was badly injured  he could still marvel if he closed his eyes  the palm trees around the site were laced Emergency red and white lights like peppermint candycane

what doesnt kill ya doesnt kill ya

the sunroom was inadequately insulated

it was a drag on the system that tried to heat and cool its aspect

the electricity was faulty

                          the can above his daughters bed was on a dimmer but the dimmer flickered like a candle flame when it was brought down too far

the other canister lamps worked or didnt

the clay tiles on the floor were rustic and uneven fine if they were outofdoors if one entered the room barefooted it was 40/60 Vegas odds theyd stub their toe or trip and stumble

the French doors to the outside were illfitted 

the transition into the house under a supporting arch forced six-footers to enter or exit at its center or theyd get droppedcracking their skulls if they werent wary

                                                    the briskmoving traffic in and out probably informed the tiny spider to build its web in the can which proved successful dining on flies and gnats that entered through the French doors attracted by bangedbruised foreheads and blood from causally split brows ofcourse the table was setthe feast to be enjoyed as they were also attracted to the canned light their insect brains werent privy to DONT GO INTO THE LIGHT! Nooo!  where the spider spun its banquet table

he enjoyed the silver spiders presence

he watched it rappel into thin air on a gossamer thread where the hush off two feeble ceiling fans jostled it

it looked like great fun

                        like an apparatus that might be found in a thoughtful childhood playground and played on with squealing delight as long as it didnt spin in circles like a merry-go-round which nauseated him as a child

he was tickled for the cleverthe nefarious eightlegger

to be an eightlegger might be a delight

                                         to be an eightlegger with fingers and opposable thumbs would be fuckin AWESOME

             or likewise a digitisedfingered octopus

why not

they were already were alienish

their mutations had taken them to the top of their foodchains

evolution

           and then those now suddenoccurring beasts might hopefully have some gratitude for their daydreaming creator

         who was unlike Baron von Frankenstein who failed to respect his slobbering creation

like all children

who didnt ask to be born

who didnt ask to be animated 

                                that just happened to be or became without much forethoughtaside from creation or the dire realisation that they are utterly and innocently dependent on their creators for the foreseeable future

one shouldnt summon offspring if they have no intention of seeing their deed through the beautiful and the bitter

ever loving them and caring for them beyond what they were able to materially provide

the silver spider dangled and bounced on the air currents

he stood to inspect it better

Awthank gawd  No fingers or thumbs

2153,  Reggae Friday,  27 12. 19

1532,  Reggae Friday,  15  5. 20

Itsy Bitsy Spider  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_lCi8U49mY

being lefthanded is like a man accommodating a woman living with her  not putting the toilet seat down after urinating – thats an offense – it is not however an offense that after a woman urinates she lifts the toilet seat hmmm XCEPT!  being lefthanded is to accommodate everyone who isnt

                                                           90% of everyone else                                  

You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all the time Abraham Lincoln quoting poet John Lydgate – its always good to know from where adages grow

as a boy painfully aware of being lefthanded because he was physically punished when he refused to change dug in refused to write with his right as a boy he decided he wasnt on the planet to please anyone but himself

when rare occasions warranted it  he conceded but that was a brief concession

he tried to be as selfish as righthanded people were

but he hadnt that inborningrained fuckin hubris

it helped that he didnt seek friends or approval

he was okay

he was okay living by himself

he was okay living by himself than submitting to the tyranny of socialising and its gauntlet – Fuck em

0808,  Reggae Friday,  27  12. 19

1330,  Reggae Friday,  15  5. 20

the back and forthback an fortback an forth nauseated him
                                                               he didnt wear glasses
the optometrist said his eyes were 20/20

Then why am I having trouble reading smaller print

You aren’t getting any younger, are you?

No

That’s what your trouble is, and from where I sit getting older isn’t bad when you hold it up, compare it to not getting older. Huh?

Readers. 2X magnification is fine. Nothing more.

Thanks doc

You’re welcome.

when he wants to read at night he slips the readers on but keeps his eyes shut until he has the book open before his face  

he doesnt look away from the print  anif he has to he closes his eyes and removes the readers before he opens them again

looking away bespectacled things blur  are unfocused reminding him of the mornings after Datura jimsonweed trips he ventured
         first time he had was with a friend Mary ofcourse it was hed do whatever itd take to get in her pants when they were introduced he chemicallyimmediately he wanted to fuck her a gawddamn switch thrown wanted to eat her alive  no garnish 

turned out that while they had more things in common than they thought she preferred being coybeing a cocktease and distanced herself from his sexual advances

they became great friends without favours

she did grace him though with a few handjobs

intent intensely he watched her handher eyes her handher eyes her handher eyes as she stroked his cock  teased  pinched  stroked  brought him to the edge then didnt let him go over it

she didnt meet his eyes

they were the longest most erotic handjobs he ever got

when she finally let him cum a great gout of cum shot into the airan inverted elongated exclamation point then a lesser gout and mark then lesser  and lesser    and finally a quivering ooze

he came on them both

he came in her hair

on her cheek

on his shoulder

his chest

she looked at him  then herself

happy mischievous eyes 
                          then rapidly shed yank his cockstroke itwhip his cum to a lather and he struggledwouldnt stop herstruggled didnt stop hertried not blowing his mind out the top of his skull beads of pearlcum clung to the back of her hand he bucked his hips his eyes went in an out of focus he laughed a queer laugh a mad laugh and in the harrumphthe frenzy in his eyes he imagined forcing her to give him headimagined yanking her pants downpanties torn offrubbing his face in her cunt he could smell her she was getting off tooimagined her straddling himfucking him
                                                                                                      suddenly she unhanded him smiled deviously I can’t. I can’t. asif she could read his mindsee them in his eyes I can’t.

I have to shower.

You have to shower.

they showered together

fuckinChrist a platonic shower

his erection went in with them

she laughed  Quit poking me, woudja? Quit.  Quit it!

Its got a mind of its own

she grasped him with a warm wet soapy hand  smiled

Okay, but a quick one.


                           he ejaculated a rocket of jism that lashed the glass shower door looked like queer alien writing

You know what that says he said staying her hands from cupping water dousing it away

she humoured him  No I don’t.

It says  Fuck him

Fuck him? Fuck you?  You think I want my vagina paintedstretchedblasted with that force? You might kill me.

It aint Russian roulette

So says the man with the loaded gun.

when he was around her his vision kept coming and going and coming and going

she may have contributed to corrupting his vision

yet if he closed his eyes
                         he could see her perfectly  wolfish canines  her lips curled    predatory

0949 & 2149,  Thursday,  26  12. 19
1516,  Thursday,  14  5. 20

$88,199 he understands money, not American deaths

in the bellow of the Beast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z34YoC2woHw the clown in the center-ring thinks “If we didn’t do any testing, we would have fewer cases."

Lets quit testing in the White House thatd be a good place to startexamine his hypothesis

1805,  Friday,  15  5. 20

the telephone rang

it was Robert

Robert called him threefour times a day

like a jilted lover

desperately missing his fat cock

but it really wasnt Robert

it was a robocall

soliciting something or another

AwRobert Ya oughta quit callin I aint buyin inta pressin 1 to be placed on the Do Not Call list or any other key or any lure dey – whoever dey was – thought a soul might select to be alleviated of deir telephone calls

he hadnt a soul

deys was barkinup the wrong tree

the telephone rang

he kept his head downears open

AwRobert  Again

when he finally returned to the room or got up off his chair he erased the message

he had an agenda

                    the same agenda he utilised when unsolicited creditcard applications arrived in his mailbox

he recycled the extraneous paper product

the enclosed application and envelope he returned

NO POSTAGE

NECESSARY

IF MAILED

 IN THE

UNITED STATES

                                                                                                                                                                             unblemished

he figured dey wasted his time so hed sap dem whatever postage cost

he recommended it to his family and friends

he didnt give a fuck if they followed his lead or not

yacan lead asses to water but yacant make em drink

the telephone rang again

it was Robert

he didnt hear his recorded voice

he heard pennies falling on its businesss linoleum tile

1350,  Reggae Friday,  15  5. 20

B J Thomas  Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sySlY1XKlhM

ensorcelled

             not a word one usually encounters or rather had he encounteredhe should speak only for himself 

floating on a sea of words without context it was foreboding 

he didnt want to use a dictionary  not just yet

in context  . . I can be drunk, drugged, ensorcelled Anais wrote

                                                                     he cracked its bonessplit themdug out its marrow

he guessed sorcerysomething to do with sorcery

he cracked his dictionary 

beneath Ensor – Belgian painter engraver  noted for macabre subjects

enchanted fascinated – he wasnt far off

ensoul followed it – endow with a soul  hmm  who does that   who gets a gig as an ensouler

                                                                                                    did it hurt

Anais wrote ensorcelled three times in three pages finishing with  . . I sense the termination of (ensorcell), as I sense, too, that Henry’s love of me would end when he is strong enough to do without me.

OUCH

        when someone is strong enough to do without the other

it is not a matter of strength shes referring

advantage 

            if benefitted

leeching

          if benefitted

one can exploit their benefactor

                                 they probably do and their benefactor probably turns a blind eye because they are getting something in return a zero-sum game exactly balanced by the losses or gains of the utility of the participants

some people play games 

he couldnt follow mercenary relationships he understood them

understood the highest bidder

                                and the he or she who produced the most one wanted

speaking for himself he wasnt a product

he wasnt greedyhe wasnt selfish

he wouldnt see that in his partners

he did not parlay  If    Then

Good fuckin riddance

it hurts to be played

he was played once

fuckin shame on him if he allowed himself to be played againtheres always more fish in the sea

he was amazed though by how many people were willing to playwilling to stay in the game

he wouldnt play because he was ruthless 

Adios

       somebody was going to get hurt  and it wasnt him

there were plenty of things to do to keep him satisfied  and busy

as a young boy he entertained himself

if left to his devises he was perfectly happy

when he told people if he believed in past lives he would have been a mountain man they should have paid heed they shouldnt have pushed

he was comfortable in his skin

he needed a companion like he needed a hole in his head

the first time he heard the song played on the radio he rode his bicycle to Skokie to buy the album it was on from a Jew who owned a record store who had a concentration camp number tattooed on the inside of his wrist   

Neil Young A Man Needs a Maid

he knew then he was all-in

0240,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  25  12. 19  OhYah   Christmas

1234,  Thursday,  14  5. 20

Neil Young  A Man Needs a Maid  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bORW_YEmHwY    

subtly time passes

                      coffee percolates  an apple sliced into eighths browns he read her letter again word for word his cadence matching the lifting mistthe earths exhale under the rising suns rays as they penetrated the crowns of the trees planted in a row one hundred years ago to create a windbreak

                                                                   a happy congress of mediators adorned with long generations of bird and squirrel nests and honey hives their roots plumbing fingering the earth probing busy parcels of ants worms burrowing in the loosened loam scurrying beetles the noiseless clattering legs of centipedes

word for word he read

                          sentences  phrases  admonishments  accusations  

he sighed

            he knew their long distance communications had run aground run afoul the skeins of their separate webs loosening 
           miscommunications fomented  missed communications  dissatisfactions    dissonance

he was more practised he had not lived as an adult within the confines of his family

she was entirely enmeshed and enthralled by hers

until she recently left its needy bosom

the earth mist was rising  it obscured the distant hills a palewhite sifting screen that could be projected on dully it reflected the flash of his match when he lit his cigarette

then he threw nothing else against it

there is no blame no animosity

sometimes things are misplaced or lost 

not intentionally as when they did as children

older children do it as well 

0753,  Thursday,  24  12. 19
1356,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  5. 20

she granted him one last huge smile

                                       then she left

it was the same huge beautiful smile that crossed her face when she was terribly pleased and terribly pleased with herself

        her first steps petting her baby sisters head playtimes granted so she could be with her best friend accomplishing excellent grades placing first at gymnastic meets putting a new dive in the water admiring the dresses her mother made for her for school dances high school graduation All-American honors graduating college telling bad jokes her weddingmeeting her at the foot of the aisle so they could ascend together where he gave her hand away her daughters birth after 40 hours of labor without drugs her second daughters birth also without drugs and not 40 hours when she used her eye-gaze machine and wrote him You are the best Dad

the same huge smile that tears him up now in her photographs

1117,  Thursday,  14  5. 20

Mark Knopfler  Drovers Road  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQsQVXoqBCw     

his kid brother Jo Jo was a crackuphe couldnt help himselfhe couldnt stop himself from making Jo Jo the butt of his jokes

Jo Jo came into the house when he was a freshman in high school 

Jo was a high-risk baby and had been at the Childrens Home and Aid Society nursery since he was released from the hospital he had been at the Home for a month

his mother was unwed

his father never answered the bell

his mothers parents forced their daughter to put the child up for adoption and because the baby exhibited her physical and likely genetic dispositions not a hot-New-York-second passed before they shed himshed their responsibility and forced their daughter to shed her motherly obligations

he wanted to hear more about Jo Jos worthless family

his mother told him their privacy had to be respected that they were legally entitled to it

Cunts Fuck the law Hidin behind its skirts

he later learned Jo Jos birth family was religious accepting Jo Jo was born would have been an affrontan insult he would have defamed their family

Cunts

Jo Jo had learning disabilities however he proved to be somewhat a savant when it came to music

                                                                                                       music flowed through their home and particularly more so if that were possible when at five months Jo Jo his face bland  unresponsive  unflinching responded to it lit like dry tinder to Iron Butterflys In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida he risked his parents umbrage and played the album on their sweet stereo system rather than continuing to listen to it on his cheap turntable and speakers upstairs in his room

                      as Jo Jos face churned like a lava lamphe kicked free of his swaddling he screamed Its alive!  Dr. Frankensteins infamous cry

                              his mother almost slapped him

almost only because he ducked her swipehe was over getting slapped for being who he was Yacant beat that out of someone  beat they tried 

                            anif his parents couldnt make him take a step back and away the last vestige of control was nothing gonna make him shake in his shoes

The Long and Winding Road apt for him  was a big hit with Jo Jo

he was in visiting from California

his parents thought he might enjoy a Chinese dinner out an he did the Chinese place in his small town went bellyup as far as he was concerned he went two-strikes-an-yer-out with them back to back meals were miserable a miserable accentuated by really wanting Chinese food he returned the uneaten food the following afternoon for his money back  its management insistedwhen he asked if they had a turnover in cooks that the cooks were the same as they always had been

           YahWell maybe their content now slinging slop for uneducated palates who are here only for your All-U-Can-Eat buffet which I wont eat

Lung Fung was the Chinese place they ate at in the Old District near the Kishwaukee River

Jo Jo

What? snide  he must have felt it coming

Whacha thinkin of having for dinner Jo Jo was notorious for ordering the most expensive item on the menu no matter what it was

             which frosted his fanny He aint gonna eat it Make him pay for it his parents said We invited him for dinner. He can have whatever he wants. Or notHorseshit This wouldntve flown when I was a kid  Hes a grown man Just, please, order what you like and leave him alone. Horseshit

I don’t know, I’m looking.

I found something for you

You know what you’re having?

I do But I found this for you

What is it?

he leaned over to Jo Jo and showed him on his menupointed it out

Yeah, but what is it?

I understand the cooks name is Sum When everyones food is ready and it is brought out Sum brings the meal to the table which is extraordinary that a cook ever comes out of the kitchen

Then he asks Who ordered the Chow Sum Ding

You did

And he walks up to you and drops his pants

And you chow Sums ding

he fuckin howled

Jo Jo wasnt amused

Actually it its chicken pork and shrimp vegetables noodles or rice

                                                                      although I gotta tell ya  if Lung Fung could make it workget away with it Id take the name Sum and work here to be fellated get head

Jo Jo wasnt amused he pushed his menu awaymoved six inches furthur down the table away from him

Humourless Jo Jo Youre humourless Givin head doesnt mean in your parlance youre a homo Here all that that would mean was that you preferred Chinese ding I enjoy Chinese Japanese Korean Ooriental not PC pussy

Fuck you, man.

Boys, boys, boys his mother What’s going on at your end of the table?

Nuthin Maw Just discussin the menu

2130,  Monday,  23  12. 19

1420,  Twosday,  12  5. 20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tfpn3wHoNGA 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xos2MnVxe-c  

Beatles  The Long and Winding Road  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR4HjTH_fTM