a fly erratically buzzed him

ever meet one that wasnt

straight lines werent their forte

                                   although

what he would pay to ride one

ought to be a carnival attraction

                                   odds on

itd try to snap his neck

anwhile not a betting man

he woudnt be able to resist

Coney Island

Sheephead Bay

buddy who lived there invited him to come out

                                                  A week. I’ll cover you.

Youll cover me

Wouldya stop.

                 Yain’t begin to have what I have.

No I do not

couldnt argue that

                     Roommate had always been generous with him

the Cyclone

they arrived late

was a slow day

few people milled about

operator wanted to go home

he peeved him

               Awcomon man Im in from Chicago Roommate says this is a ride to die for 

Rollercoasters Ferris wheels only rides tha inspire me

Your roommate. He tellya this was a ride to die for?

He did

Alright.

          To die for.

Thaswha he said

He riding?

No doesnt like em  Just me

Alright. First car?

Damn straight

Fine. Letting this one go first. I’ll bring ‘round the next train.

                                                                You patient?

I know yawanna call it a night Im happy to wait forwha it takes

                                                                     Thank you sir

Don’t thank me, boy.

he ran the train

the next rattledgroaned up to his feet

Take a seat.

he sat

operator laid the lap bar across his hipsshook it violent back an forth

                                                                          Set?

I am Right as rain

a fly buzzed him

A big one. Gets late they come for spoils.

                                              Off ya go.

the cars rattled noisily as they climbed

he threw his handsup above his headglanced down at his roommate

he shook his head bewildered by his childish glee

shake shake shake shake shakeOVER the toplap bar failedMOTHERFUCKER he tossedpitchedwas bitched 

MOTHERFUCKER MOTHERFUCKER   MOTHERFUCKER

                                                                     exhausted  clutchingclinging so he wasnt throw out

rattle rattle rattle rattle ride ending rollingup to the operator 

                                                               So boy.  How was that?

weakly  Lap bar failed at the start

Lap bar?

Yah he flopped it so the operator could see   Its broken

It was. Ride to die for you said.

                                   smiled a gappedtooth brokentooth smile  A ride to die for you said.

   couldnt argue with that

1707,  Sunday,  4  8. 24

2233,  Sunday

during the documentary CRUMB

                                  Charles Crumb Robert Crumbs brother sedated a man living at home with his mother relates that without tranquilisers antidepressants hed be unhinged

unhinged

doors

   he wondered if taking down all the interior doors in his house suggested he was

                                                                                          unhinged

he refused to tolerate restraints impediments bansanything that would inhibit him from freely accessing whatever he chose to pursue

if unhinged

             he didnt see a downside  until

until this graphic example presented

                                        he was troubled witnessing Charles talking with his brother

his hard-won compassion stepped forwardthrew an elbow to his shoulder

                                                                                This is different

Youre liberated

This man is not

Hes imprisoned

Count your blessings

You mean blessings literally

   Of course I wouldnt tolerate religion even if you thought you were being cute Id drop you where you stood

he did not fuck with his compassion

Charles unhinged Robert wasnt doing much better himself was drastically different than his

it was strangeinvigorating the things that occurred to him when he let – like he had to let – his mind waonder

9PMish,  Saturday,  3  8. 24

1258,  Sunday,  4  8. 24

Crumb  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sdwibrYkUU

. . . he wouldnt ever hear ulterior motive again . . .

odds were excellent he wouldnt ever hear ulterior motive again unless in another film but he had to admit he thoroughly enjoyed the memoryrush

   note

         he took pains never to write never so he went with the lessnauseous wouldnt ever and it turned upbit him in the ass in a matter of 1031hrs to 1410hrs VIA Netflixs Suits bout threeanahaf hoursREALLY

                                                                                                   wouldnt ever

on the same freakin day

so much for excellent odds

Hold on there Skippy

Don call me tha

   Awright  wha woudya have me call you

Depends where youre going

Defending

            You

From yourself  You arent kind but youre particularly unkind to yourself

High bar

Maybe bring it down a little

                             Yaint whaya used to be no one is

Your point make it quick

Quoting you Odds were excellent you wouldnt ever  hear ulterior motive again

Fair quote  Thas wha I said

   they rubbed the skin under their right eye perturbed contending   the softest most belligerent scream hedNEVER hear

          Whaelse did you say

Whaelse

QUOTE Unless

   humility crept up behind himkissed him on his ear

                                                         whispered Unless

they were tagteaming him

they were right

                 together they whispered so the others hangin on their every word couldnt hear READ THE TRANSCRIPT BABY

       whispered Unless in another film 

streamed series are film

                           in a broad sense

Were happy ya didnt jump off a bridge eat a bullet cut your throat step in front of a train overdose drive into a wall hit onfondle a burly ragin idiotic homophobe

I seeya gave it some thought

We can go on

               Those were just straws we chose from an imaginative arraymultiple straws an awfully deep bench

   No thanks Tellya wha

                            Haunt me in my dreams

We intend to

              Best hone your lucidD scalpel

1410, Sunday,  4  8. 24

1549,  Sunday

ulterior motives

hadnt heard that in years 

he was watching No Sudden Move on MAX

early in the film a male character says to a moll thats how he read her watched lotsa noir Ah, baby, I know you have ulterior motives.

STONEDhim

             the last he heard ulterior motives uttered washe remembered precisely  a “friend” said it to him  Miami March 1976  the negative connotation wasnt just implied  it bore weight

the dialogue reminded him of the woman friend had made the comment about  friend later wounded him in the leg with a .410 shotgun while hunting rabbits in the Everglades

   he had a .22

                 he suggested   You better run along  AnI mean run

fortunately they went hunting with two other fellas

he reconnoitered with them their kills  they took him to a student nurse one was sleeping withhe remembers her  Rosey

she was very kindkept her mouth shut

friend wisely made himself  scarce

   the woman  if she was able to plot more than two years out that theyd marry in Montana

                                                                                                     considering

when they met he was dating four women  she would have to have been a savant

she wasnt

             became his best friend

odds were excellent he wouldnt ever hear ulterior motive again unless in another film  but he had to admit he thoroughly enjoyed the memoryrush

        

evening 7PMish,  Saturday,  3  8. 24

1031,  Sunday,  4  8. 24

   things that comprised   compromised? his life

the simple task of washing dishes containers mugs

                                                     MUGS mugging it up the mug his wife gave him that had been hers since she was a teenager a voluminous rounded ceramic moustached comic face the ceramic mug a palegreen turquoise handledcanister his daughter gave him that had a buffalo etched on it

the mugs were here

they had died

comprised

              compromised

when he died

his belongings dispersed

things

         without context of why he had them rendered inarticulate   dumb  

he had half a mind to have a pit dug and all his belongingshis books art record albums picture albumsEverything which were cast to his life  his body laid on top of them  immolated

he was elsewhere

                    maybe ashes bind   atoms congeal 

      

0757,  Sunday,  4  8. 24

0941,  Sunday

America  You Can Do Magic  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac-NcLcX6q4

sub-human

              he had sub-moments

not sub-missive

related to the classic prefix

                              sub-

less than underneath lower subordinate or secondary part of something else

“When we accept oppression of some, we feed the oppression of others, and we make space for domination driven by false ideas of inferiority and less worth. When we discount the inherent preciousness of animals who think and feel, we erase precious parts of ourselves.”

                                       chuckled

could imagine certain people

                               Talk to the hand their sarcasm

those he could bring present

cut off their hands

                     Got to hand it to you his sarcasm

his is awfully sarcastic

doublestriples down

                       he had the robust makings of an awesome Republican

                                                                                   except     well

he had a brain in his head

first rule of Republican Follow second rule of Republican Follow

initiative doesnt allow that

                             kind of like shooting up

he liked unobstructed uninterrupted views

didnt like eating anyones dust

it came at a price he saw that before he decided

                                                   saw the itemised sticker price  the MSRP

manufactured suggested retail price

manufractured

   brother  he vehemently disagreed 

1414,  Saturday,  3  8. 24

1614,  Saturday,  3  8. 24

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/animal-emotions/202407/sub-human-the-psychology-of-anthropocentric-exceptionalism

Toni Morrison speech

                        “The function, the very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody says you have no language and you spend twenty years proving that you do. Somebody says your head isn’t shaped properly so you have scientists working on the fact that it is. Somebody says you have no art, so you dredge that up. Somebody says you have no kingdoms, so you dredge that up. None of this is necessary.

There will always be one more thing.”

Don’t let it distract you.

he meant terminal velocity but terminal philosophy came out of his mouth

Whawastha

You tell me Youre closer to the fireplace than me

Fireplace

           Wha arya talkin about

Brain Youre embedded like a reporter with a military unit in a war zone

Did you just make tha up

Like I made up terminal philosophy

                                       But maybe theres such a thing

Wha does your daughter tell you

If I wonder if somethings a thing it is

Check it out

Googled

A book Terminal Philosophy Syndrome: Ecology and the Imponderable

                                                                           Check this out “There’s the implicit concept of terminal velocity, when acceleration through a fluid, usually air, settles to zero, based on the number of correlates, like buoyancy, drag coefficient, the density of the fluid, etc. These are all metaphors for human thought.”

Crazy

Human thought

Correct

   You know were more than thoughts

Thought so

Ya gonna tell your daughter you doubted her

Doubt it

1649,  2sday,  30  7. 24

1339,  Saturday,  3  8. 24

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/animal-emotions/202301/terminal-philosophy-syndrome-a-wake-up-call-for-all

brother couldnt sit outside and gasbag without having music playing behind them

itd been something new in just the last year

was influenced

a new friend

woman

was desperate to make her a girlfriend

desperate looks good on no one

told brother three months deep

Girl friend

Wrap your skull around tha

I don’t know that.

Pity

     I do

the music was synched with his iPhone

had borrowed a playlist from his girl  friend

Arya ever gonna change this upWha  last two months

I like it.

Id like if it didnt distract you from our conversation

You don’t like it?

I try not hearing it

                    Usually successful until you do something on your phone an the volume shrieks

Yeah. Still not sure what I’m doing to cause that.

Quit playinround with your phone an it wont

I get texts.

Youre talkin with me texts can languish  Look at me See   Look Mom no hands    Alluding to riding a bicycle

That’s you. I like being connected.

Correction You need  to be connected

                                          Ultimately its rude

You’d know.

               Few people are as rude as you.

   When provoked when provoked

 

he got a text

picking it up the volume squealed an end of an advertisement a woman reeling off a products disclaimer in the fashion of an auctioneer

kept jugglingjumbling his phone trying to kill the volume

gal finished  a song started SCREAMING

volume dropped to zip

                        DAMMIT.

   volume began to come up

                              THERE.  Good. Good volume?

Im in love

What?

Hear tha auctioneering at the end

Heard something.

You hear a womans voice

I did. Yes. Was a woman.

Im in love

You’re in love?

Yah

     Love to jam my cock in her mouth as her tongues speedin alongKaHrist

Yes please

Fuckin’ way you think.

Tell me Im wrong

1641,  2sday,  30  10. 24

1234,  Saturday,  3  8. 24

of course he wasnt going to let that go

went immediately to his trusty iPhone

Lookin up spirit spiritual

I am.

I am means nothing

Sonofabitch.

              I am looking up spirit.

he settled back sipped his chilled vodka freshground black pepper in it

                                                                                 itd be a bit

brother wasnt particularly deft on his phone

worse when trying to search Google

Sonofabitch.

not particularly deft

 

 

Here. Spirit. he seemed proud

                                 Several definitions.  he looked at him eagerly

All ears bro

One. “The nonphysical part of a person which is the seat of emotions and character; the soul . .

. . No soul Excuse me

“The soul. ‘We seek a harmony between body and spirit.’”

Two. “The nonphysical part of a person regarded as their true self and as capable of surviving physical death or separation. ‘A year after he left, his spirit is still present.’”

Three. “The nonphysical part of a person manifested as an apparition after their death . . .” No. Four “A supernatural being. ‘Shrines to nature spirits.’”

Three

Five. “The Holy Spirit.”

You playing the Holy Spirit card

                                     Three Nonphysical part  An apparition after their death    Spook Ghost

So  Spiritual heir

Howbout this

                 Spiritual err   E R R

I still don’t believe.

                     I can read more “Qualities regarded as forming the definitive or typical element in the character of a person . . .”

I think were good

                   Weve arrived much to your dismay

Rather your disJuly whawill be your disAugust  I shant continue

1523,  2sday, 30  7. 24

1119,  Saturday,  3  8. 24

You pull this all the time

I do not.

You do

       Again  You deny the existence of ghosts

I do.

Yet refusing to call yourself an atheist which I am you refer to yourself as spiritual

I am.

Say it

       Or as I prefer commit  Out of context I am means nothing I am wha

Really?

Yes really  Commit

What do you want me . .

. . Quit being obtuse

                     You understand exactly wha Im asking so  commit

I am . . spiritual.

Did tha hurt

No. You’re the one hung up on . .

. . Precision  Details   Commitment

                                         You deny the existence of ghosts

I said earlier.

Then let me ask you

                        Is ghost and spirit synonymous

They’re not the same.

I didnt ask if they were the same

                                       Synonymous

I don’t know.

You do Youre being difficult

                               Id say ghost spirit apparition banshee daemon kelpie manes phantasm poltergeist shade revenant spook visitor wraith are synonymous

Agree  Disagree

You have to be so freakin’ thorough.

   Awright. I agree.

Thank you Like pulling teeth

                                 With tha admission let me as you this

he nodded

You understand the word habit It is my habit Im particular  You have habits

Yes.

Please  Commit

Pain in the ass.

                    Yes Joe I have habits.

Thank you

               Now do you agree if one has habits they are habitual Habitually have habits.

Redundant. Yes.

Wha

Are you kiddin’ me?

Wha

Awright. If one has habits they are habitual, better?

Confirmation  Commitment   Better

   Then  if habit inhabits habitual

                                      Then spirit ghost would inhabit spiritual as you admit you are

You cant be spiritual and not believe in ghosts banshees shade daemons spooks revenants an on

                                                                                                       Im particularly fond of revenants

 

1523,  2sday,  30  7. 24

1020,  Saturday,  3  8. 24

https://www.summitdaily.com/news/summit-spirits-what-is-the-difference-between-a-ghost-and-a-spirit/#:~:text=We%20use%20the%20word%20ghost,incapable%20of%20reasoning%20for%20themselves.%20%E2%80%A6

I don wanna see a Venn diagram

You asked.

I asked for a verbal reply

                           It was astonishing  A Venns not pulling your ass out of tha

No. Look.

           It’ll make sense.

he continued scribbling away

Im havin another beer  You care for one

Don’t go, I’m almost done.

You can sit with your bastard Im goin for a beer

                                                  Want one

I’m good.

Its warm This will be my third to your first

I’m goodWAIT I’m almost done.

got up walked to the house

muttered to himself on the way in

muttered on the way out

Imagine your defense is complete

                                     I must say Im not keennever did like the circles maybe if they were amorphous rangy   inchoate

I like them . .

. . Because they look like tits pushed together Tits Cleavage

                                                                I could have been sold on Venn if they were

Titles tattooed on tits

Hmm I like tha

                   Coudnt be taught in school though

Would you shaddup and look.

he looked

           Garbagethas garbage

It’s not.

Drawing doesnt make it true

                               Youre trying to provide a defense for tha which is indefensible

Your concept is horrible

But youve never been hungry

Your stomachs never been emptyexcept  if youve chosen to fast

                                                                      Think anyone in Third World woud fast

Yaoughta be ashamed of yourself

Fuck you. I stand by this.

AnId recommend you share it with no one

Why wouldn’t I?

Sociopathic

No.

Yes

     Suggesting theres an overlap of greed an hunger  Hunger is greedy

Ohyes

1445,  2sday,  30 7. 24

1357,  Reggaefriday,  2  8. 24

it was a testy exchange

he planted his flag on the fact that he metknew buddys wife first an had unvarnished conversations an arguments with her

    I didnt like her

So your opinion of her is prejudiced.

Prejudiced

You’re going to say you aren’t?

Who   prejudiced me

What do you mean?

You tell me

              I think believe  its evident

   No. You tell me.

Shit

     Shit came out of her mouth I may lack compassionadmit its hard won at best but she was a reptile

She was not.

Howd she treat her sister how did the other siblings her father treat their sister an daughterLIKE SHIT

I told you I got the pick of the litter  Her three siblings took after their fatherkowtowed to him sucked up to him

My wife took after her motherwas her double an like her mother suffered the family

You don’t know what you’re talking about.

I do but I can understand why you think so

                                               You married her

I don’t recognise the woman you’re defaming, she wasn . .

. . She was

            Tell me Committed or encumbered cumbersome   I was in lovewas committed so you know how I felt  Feel

What are you asking?

   You answered

I did not.

Its not something you have to think aboutreflex

Maybe you . .

. . Reflex man  Reflex

                        Lets drop it    Alls water under the bridge

1339,  2sday,  30  7. 24

1308,  Reggaefriday,  2  8. 24

Seven Mary Three  Cumbersome https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXFqtKz54xM