shes not here 

   this evening thats a good thing 

                                    it was one of those nights when he wished violence would presentprovoke him nothing like a good oldfashioned bloodletting  his theirswouldnt matter  couldnt give two shits 

                                                                                                      he had reason 

every yearthree years 

this day 

           it used to be to remember Pearl Harbor his father listened to President Roosevelt utter . . . a date that will live in infamy  on the radio 

                         an uncle climbedup out of the bowels of his sinking ship through a dorade box on deck 

a hornshaped ventilator     

   but now the date means something else that he hasnt been able to shakelikely never will                                                                                                                                 an in his welling remorse sadness hed like violence to replace the anguish his memory  his helplessness 

                                                                                   he couldnt take the bullet for her

it was nonnegotiable

   there was no one to take it up with

he was forced to bear witness 

forced to sublimate his violencehis instinct

 

he stood on the porch looking into the night 

                                             begging Come  Come try your hand at me 

she wasnt here 

                spared what would have been her helplessness trying to help him

also nonnegotiable

2209,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  12. 22

1631,  Saturday,  10  12. 22

The Zombies  She’s Not There  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycP6yiupDPM

he wasnt particularly keen on the Eaglesdidnt pay much attention to them until he heard the Joe Walsh joined the band https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_qHU_6Ofc0 doesnt own one of their albums 

Victim of Love https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFdomKzAPTY 

                                                                       crawled through his skull as he simmered between dreams an on an on 

                     was in a steamer that could roll onto its side and navigatesubmerged just beneath the ocean surface when doing so certain sections were closed as contaminated air atmosphere pulsed into them those sections were located portside the ship always rolled onto its starboard when diving also portside were entertainment salons contamination holds where situated between them one had to wait for them to be purged before entering  a series of green and red lights were strung on bulkheads indicating safe passage or not 

                                                                                   several times he was caught in passageways when suddenly they went red he gained shipwide notoriety for not dyingeither staggering to a locked hatch or plucked prone from a gangway by crew wearing aerated hoods over their headspacking oxygen on their backs 

more often than not his notorietypreceding him provided him company and an inability to purchase his own drinks it seemed understood the reason why he risked his lifewhich wasnt true unfortunately he had a habit of learning the hard way school of hard knocks  it was his lot he accepted it

Cam she introduced herself approached him a cute blonde pixie haircut unpixie body though not necessarily his type she admitted her approach was for a girlfriend who didnt want to come over to the bar rather stay in her chair at an obscure table when Cam pointed towards her Ken Ken lit a match it illuminatedplayed on her chest throat face framed in auburn hair that the firelight hintedwhispered its highlights she proceeded to light a stout yellowchamomile coloured candle at the center of the table 

                                  Ken would like you to have dinner with her . I won’t be staying.

No

No. I lost the coin toss.

the way Cam said it provoked Tough out before he could stop it

Tell me. My life. Hardknocks.

his estimation of her rose 

                            Maybe another time 

she laughed heartily

                       Pick through bones, no thanks.

May be Kens bones

Oh. 

    That’d be interesting.

   Maybe another time

We’ll see I suppose.

he tipped her head backfinger at her chin gentlybriefly kissed her 

                                                                     taking his finger from her chin she stepped backwardsaway from him 

she smiled

           began humming Victim of Love  then turned walked away

briefly he watchedadmired her go

then drink in hand he walked between tables to Kens

seemed on an on hypnopompic this morning,  Saturday,  10  12. 22 

1044, Saturday 

Oblique Occasions  雪の上の血  21:33 minute-mark   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orHN-JXSlg8

it was cool for themhe didnt mind birds werent his thingalthough he was peachykeen bout hummingbirds they had a long history composed of more than enough stints while he was incapacitated a painfuluseless left wing which limitedimposed upon him the effort to make sugarwater and feed them 

                                                                           that kept him out from underfoot and from being jostled which he could not tolerate

while he hadnt a passion for birds when he hiked with them he paid keen attention to their wordslistened Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent. to them discuss the difference in species West and East of the Rockies he referred to them as avid boiders  his moniker  that they didnt correct as it amused them 

                                                                                     boiders anhe was a woider

coined words  he was determined to hamperdiminish cellar doors standing step on J R R Tolkiens toeshis assessment that it is the most beautiful word in the English language  cellophane floor aint shabby neither are optic cup cute cunt charred trees neon nude

                         fact was  if he had children who were not attractive he would have been able to admit they were not  therefore his estimation of phonaesthetics was capable and worthwhile

bruised bananas pornographic virgin rawawkwardness 

                                                           it was unfortunate Tolkien was dead

he would have loved to share his most beautiful words in the English language

 

1521,  Thursday,  24  3. 22

0910, Saturday,  10  12. 22

Grouper  Lighthouse  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47pIFb-12do  her rainwater enema

cat dug graphs 

               no matter the conversation if subject matter nearedverged on provability either to confirm or denyto prove his point elaborate it he insisted Labouring that he agreed was insufficient pen and paper were outcuriously he never brought paper only a pen paper fell to him drew and labeled the x- y-axes and began drawing lines to prove himself correct 

AwKahrist again shaking his head like a weary chimp This is excessive 

I want you to see. 

You want to see 

                  I can see it in my head I don need it diagramed

You should see.

   No You have to see it makes it more tangiblemore real 

                                                             Being unimaginative you need things concrete Knowing is proof enough for me

 

this graph was about hypothetical he had said I own my hypothetical

So you say, however, is it realistic? 

                                      I can show you. 

Jesus

Give me a piece of paper. 

                           he drew the x-axis labeled it Hypothetical subheaded it Independent the y-axis was Reality subheaded Dependent

he was curious if the rays he would draw would begin at 0,0 coordinateSURPRISED him

                                                                                             before drawing a single line he was confident there would be three or more he scribbled a ball like one scribbles inside a ballot circle when voting 

This is you.  it was way down the x-axis  undoubtedly Hypothetical  scarcely a coordinate on Reality 

Where are you

Me.  he drew a line that arced up quickly paralleling Reality and nowhere down the line near the scribbled ball representing him above Hypothetical 

                                       he quickly dashed off two other lines one at approximately a fortyfive degree angle the third recording a hump halfway to his marker then continuingfalling by degrees which eventually have it crash at 0 on the y-axis 

                    THERE.  I think that sums things up nicely. Superior ticked into his facehis expression

How did I get there

Man you’re so random . . another iteration I can imagine would be a dartboard, a single dart, thrown eyes closed. Upside . . since you’d be throwing you wouldn’t miss the board.

THERE is tha

                  Appreciate the vote of confidence

1445,  Thursday,  24  3. 22

1028,  ReggaeFriday,  9  12. 22

Collie Buddz  Show Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQ_dzuZZ1DA

she was ASTONISHEDgiggled 

                                Did you just fart? it was clear despite asking around her toothbrush

You needed toothpaste

they stood side by side framed in the bathroom mirror above the sink 

                                                                         he relished their intimacy

You did didn’t you?

he wasnt embarrassed bodily functions functioneddidnt ask permission 

                                                                              Tooothpaste

You have yours an I was trying to get the last for me

I’d have thrown it away a couple days agocan’t believe you’re able to express mo . .

. . Waste not want not

he pinched the foot of the tubeused the sink lip as an edge and pressing hard with his hand dragged the tube back towards him virtually scraping the paste inside up to its neckthe opening 

                                                                             he got hers 

now getting his pinching hard pressing ever harderleaning on one arm dragging the tube scraping it empty the exertion made him fart 

                but he did get his 

he screwed the cap back on it tossed it into the turquoise tin pail they used as a wastebasket

   Waste not, want not . . you fartedyes.

Yes I farted 

              Wasnt like I shit in my pants baby

she giggled 

           meeting her eyes in the mirror as he went to begin brushing his teeth she burst out laughing toothpastedsaliva sprayed the mirror

he stepped back while she continued losing her shit

when the bout exhausted itself he looked through the speckles at her she had tears in her eyes

                                                                                                     You spatter the mirror

You farted you made me.

1211 or 0011,  Thursday,  8  12. 22

1441,  Thursday

Christina Vantzou  Glissando for Bodies and Machines in Space  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXgh0thgsm4

Not something you see every day he thought 

                                              he thought it because he didnt actually see itimagined it

because it humoured him

he was easily humoured 

anhe had cats 

                 his were characters  they were What’s this? What’s this? aaand What’s this?  as curious as he

their bond

and they didnt bark

 

they were notoriously quietlike children

                                         when you dont hear them you know theyre up to no good

he paused the programme he was watching on the computer and got up from his desk

                                                                                           he listened for clues

he wanted to catch them redhanded 

in the bathroom

                 virtually across the hall 

he sneaked that they didnt hear him indicated the thrall they were contending ninjastepping into the hallthen to the bathroom doorwaycaught three of the four 

                                  Q-Tips were scattered everywhere 

when he used them last evidently he left the top off the wicker container hes kept them in since 1970acquiring it at Salvation Army 

he liked woven things  knitted  blankets sweaters  had more baskets than necessaryvirtually all decorative  as what they heldif they did wasnt evident unless he helped himself to them  looked inside  

it was unlikely any one of the three finessed its top off as no cat he ever had had

                                                                                     Nah  he was responsible

   standing at the threshold his imagination warbledflopped suddenly bomberstanding inside the sink began juggling threefour Q-Tips shy on the floor under the window stood on her hind legs one in her clutches acting a conductor  smiling enjoying her orchestra leftie was inside the catbox at the foot of the pedestal sinkoblivious scattering litter as she chased Q-Tips around which bound end on cotton end trying to elude her

he leaned gleeful against the doorjamb

              

he took it in until his eyes yelped 

                                  Ohshit he’s watchingSTOP!

1209 or 0009,  Thursday,  8  12. 22

1334,  Thursday

Oh Tom Tom   piece of shit Tom Cotton 

                                          his blather concludes . . . detain Americans and Democrats will agree to set your worst killers free. 

                   referring to the swap of Griner for Bout

Bout was convicted of conspiring to sell millions of dollars of arms in Columbia to FARC (Fuerzas Armadas Revolucionarias de Colombia) to be used to kill Americans 

   Americans killed by those weapons were not cited or evidenced

Tom Cotton supports NRA and NRA supports Cotton

                                                       seems terribly similar to him of conspiring to sell arms to Americans who are killing Americans 

                             but thats him

1556,  Thursday,  8  12. 22

https://www.cotton.senate.gov/news/press-releases/cotton-statement-on-brittney-griner-prisoner-swap

https://arktimes.com/arkansas-blog/2021/11/03/nra-used-shell-companies-to-fund-tom-cotton-and-others-lawsuit-says 

https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/international-arms-dealer-viktor-bout-convicted-new-york-terrorism-crimes

Senior living assistance made him think 

    some might consider him a senior

he saw an advertisement A Place for Mom

facilitates placing parents for long-term care  

Googled A Place for Dad  Yes also found A Place for Mom and Dad

scratched his head 

                      thought warehouse verb 

which prompted him to Google Warehouse for Your Parents A Warehouse for Mom and Dad

evidently too frank

 

Werent places for Mom and Dad with their children

   Or he thought arent there affordable humane exit strategies that allow Mom and Dad – it was usually Dad – to depart without having some useful idiot to cleanup the fuss and muss brain and blood  skull fragments 

something similar to what Arthur Koestler and his wife Cynthia ingested 

                                                                              A Guide to Self Deliverance

he thought Better than lining businesses pockets 

                                                           but he was a lousy consumer                               

1622,  Monday,  5  12. 22

1217,  Thursday,  8  12. 22

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/1983/03/12/the-koestler-suicide-pact/0e322224-2438-4b89-8e10-34564a557d67/

2334numbers ‘gain   Wednesday – Pearl Harbor7  12. 22

   

hes sure its occurred to many that Georgias runoff between Rev Warnock and jock Walker was nothing more than revisitingassimilating fantasizing infantilizing the antebellum South when Mastahs pitted their great black bucks against each other a thing  Battle Royale   black men slaves without recourse coerced into pounding each other into submission

until one emerged  for game   an profit

Caroline Randall Williams  https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2022/12/herschel-walker-georgia-black-americans/672373/ 

Springsteen  I’m On Fire  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLtGTwIxZZs

Manhatten DA  bragg

   Quit looking at what his office did

                                       look at what he didnt do   disbanded an inquiry into former that several prosecuting attorneys quit over

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/23/nyregion/trump-ny-fraud-investigation.html

So remember 

               it would be wise not to polish Braggs knob while knowing full-well his well-documented failure at his knob

2153,  Wednesday,  7  12. 22

https://www.msnbc.com/the-beat-with-ari/watch/guilty-trump-org-convicted-victorious-ny-d-a-speaks-out-156433989503

   Off topic . . .

Yeah that’ll help, blathering bladders aren’t my bag.

Yes it is

        Yasee Im tryin to stretch your imagination  think Silly Putty  pliable  elastic   Hell youll recall yacoud pick up the Funnies coloured ink comicallystretch the faces bodies of Dick Tracy Moon Maiden manohman  I had a crush on her Might have been her antlers . . 

. . They were antennae . .

. . Whahavya she was hot  Thinkinthough  more likely tha skintight outfit of hersYOWSAH

Yowza?  Really?

                  How old are you?

Comon some words are timeless  Was coined in the Thirties radio personality orchestra leader Ben Bernie 

his eyes started Why would you know that?

pointing a fingerhis hand like a pistol at his skull Ive packed tons of useless information in my vault  Readin an curiosity getchas tha

shaking his head like a boxer shaking off a punch Yousaid off topic . . where were you going with that?

   Off topic  yah 

                   Gimme a second   Yah  Thoughtbout that fuckin doctorplastic surgeon fixing my nose  filling in the blowhole my third nostril

   What?

Before we began hangin out

How’d that happen?

Skin cancer  Cut too deep left too little tissue I sneezed blew it out Wasnt attractiveprobably only time I cared wha I looked like

            Vanity  Crept inan Id been so good avoiding it

  

A blowhole? 

Blowhole

What made you think of that?

Tha my left nostril weeps Yare always knocking me for carrying a snot rag Had before but a weepy nostril necessitates it Cant shoot your snot rockets as you aptly refer to them  Id rather carry a handkerchief 

Snot rag.

Semantics is a bitch One mans raid anothers lawful search warrant

Man, how you're able to insert politics into anything.

Politics sex  cra-cra huh 

                          Fuckin guy  Told me It always has  Tried to gaslight me  No doc it didnt  Whadya do

Fortunately for him he didnt drag his feet

You had a deviated septum.

Had Said it fast hardHAD  Had  Repeated it harsher Why HAD doc wasnt part of the deal

No. 

No it wasnt

So my nostril weeps

I suppose that’s a good reason to carry a snot rag . . 

. . Handkerchief  fuckin handkerchief because you have an aversionuse your sleeve in polite company  call it wha it is  A handkerchief

Whatever. 

             So what happened beyond the blowhole, deviated septum, the repair?

No bill  Free

Come on . . really.

Cheaper than a lawsuit an you know me  every hill is to die on

There’s that, no gaslight in you . . just vicious cruel honesty.

   You know me well

nearish 2300, Day-between-Two-Ts,  21  9. 22

1259,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  12. 22

https://comics.ha.com/itm/original-comic-art/comic-strip-art/chester-gould-dick-tracy-sunday-comic-strip-original-art-dated-3-15-64-the-chicago-tribune-1964-moon-maid-takes-cente/a/820-6055.s 

Ben Bernie and his Orchestra  Lonely Eyes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTqvVS2tpsw

Collie Buddz  Defend Your Own  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw-uWWT4Bfc

TRUMP

         he using his surname only to identify him because yesterdayconsumed with Warnock putting a phony candidate to bed he let the formers convictions ride 

                                                      thasaid

his company was found guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud guilty of fraud  17 counts  catch his drift 

                                                                        federal disbarment likely not that hes building anything 

unethical

a liar

why would anyone want to turn their back to him

1742,  Pearl Harbor -- Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  12. 22

https://www.npr.org/2022/12/06/1141063791/trump-organization-found-guilty-of-all-charges-in-tax-fraud-scheme

the aisle – on an Alaska threehour flight to Chicago from Phoenix – after beverage service could be intimidatingsoon filled with barking blathering bladders who seated now are LOUD  Why are you sitting here?I gotta go, anif we don’t . . I will . explain that to the stewardess.   They’re not called stewardess.   I should know that?I’m a bladder not my concern . you think incontinence is thoughtful?I tellya . . . 

the pressure bladder felt wasnt muscularNAY the exertion it felt was at a cellular level anif Bub continued to sit not pardon himself gain the aisle he might hear 

                                              Hey, I need to part with my particles promptlythink tinkle tinkle tinkle letting drips an little drabslittle stars decorate your shorts. We better get a move on, you got nothing under control, keep holding it longer than you should an I’ll make things unpleasant, very inconvenient.

bladder played the long game  believed there were very few adultsfew an far between who wished to piss themselves an occasional joker unfortunate to be attached to will for piss for giggles a rare one who does it for shits and giggles 

YOU HAVING FUN?  it imagines itself stern looking down its nose in a superior pose above Bub I AM, THANKS FOR ASKIN’. I’m being facetious as it said it was thinking feces-tious  NOnot a word, made it up trying to keep my mind off having to pee, an also thinking, since I’ve coined it, you want to use it I’m charging fees, intellectual property, propriety counts . . an don’t think I won’t collect one way or another https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zBwRDEFMRY 

   CAREFUL. bladder blathers

near 2300ish,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  21  9. 22

1132,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  12. 22

he headed to the well 

                          wished 

wishing for better 

wishing for best 

   Ohmy heel boyheel  no nonsense friend Best play it close to your vestNO  Closer  Heel heel hide it

he hid it had too had become too pronouncedtoo prominent tooo in her face

OHmy whellshit Let it loose 

                            she smiledwas amicable  carnivorous  into it  he graspedher kissedher pushedher down lickedher gobbled  his 20/15 went black fleshblinders  theyd gone glib all glibberig  slick

gobbled 

        chanted gibberishrubbish rubberish chased her tail across the floor  caught it  let her go  chased it again catch-an-release until gobbledegook got the best of themhis jaw locked up his tongue failed to work

   he had an oilcan 

                      offered it  gesturedsuggesting  Are you a glutton for punishment

thought  Whas a little pain between friends and lovers

 

   lovers 

           frankly  he asked others if outside the intimacy of their bedrooms if they ever publicly referred to their significant other as  My lover 

NO.

     they were terse

Lover it seemedas it was with him  to remain in their bedrooms bathrooms showers tubs kitchens livingrooms on diningroom tables on the floor up against the wall  on top of illloaded agitated washing machines 

   he stood up from the bench in the bar where she sat on his lap  an arm beneath her knees around her back  he stepped into the aisle an set her gently on her feet 

What’s wrong? she asked 

he turned by her shoulders patted her pretty fanny and sent her on her way 

over her shoulder What’s wrong?  

I think you ought to find your lover 

                                    You left him somewhere in here

   lover said in public  just didnt sit right with him       

2130ish,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  21  9. 22

1207,  Twosday,  6  12. 22

A toogood to be true wifey   whod really want one  or husband for that matter 

                                                                                      Fetch my slippers, my tobackey and corncob, we’ll smoke together, hurry, fetch girlie, fetch.

when she returned hed pat her head pat pat Thas a good girlie, such a good girl pat pat so good pat such a fine bitch, I wouldn’t have another. 

                           he thought his comment through 

he lied nay misspoke  embellished got carried awaygot ridiculous of course hed have another  an anotheras would she  thought Variety, wifey, it the spice of life. Varietals. Various delicious vagrants who grant accessexcess, grant ddelights cupped together thumbs under fingers aside, an offering, verily a banquet, not quit till every inch of skin is surveyed, touched, tonguetickled, sucked, lapped, tugged, twisted, poked, eyelashlashed to within an inchNo . . lesser . of the pleasure to rock her loins.

she returned

              But a moment wifey . . please pack and light my pipe. 

                                                                        he felt his face 

felt the glasses pinch his nose readers to see  goggles to ogle small printfine print bane of his existence

                                                                                                              though also she readers see-throughs xrays peekaboos agog aglance astarehysterical Ohme ohmy Heel lad heel, pull back. he thinks

the pipe litsmoking it she blowsbreathes cross his face it curls fancifully roundly  curvaceouscurlicues 

                                                                                                            Pipe? my love.  she grounds him

 

   Ey.

       Thank you, my beauty, my girlie, my wifey.

she pinches his cheek 

                        Can read yer mind donfool yourself, lovey, I’m plenty for ye, allya can handle. Pity men, so full of themselvescant do two things at one yet think they think they can pleasure two women at one.  Ah, given suchprospect better yelie back anleave us to ourselves pleasure each other whileye look on . . likely tuggin yer flesh.

she took the pipe from between his teethtook a puff blew the smoke

                                                                       Yehear me hubby?  I spoilye for reasons ye donundarstand.

Ey.  I hear you. 

                   Thank you for go for my pipe. 

she slipped it between his lips

                                 My pleasure, lovey.

          

2040,  Day-between-Two-Ts, 21  9. 22

1037,  Twosday,  6  12. 22 

Grouper  A I A: Alien Observer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBX5rDszspM