What are you doing, boy? It’s beautiful outside, you ought to be out.

Nobodys around today

You need to have someone with you to enjoy the day?

Its more fun

More fun? What’s more fun than finding the dinosaur skeleton you keep telling me you’re going to find?

What

Dinosaurs roamed the whole planet.

They didnt roam Chicago

Chicago wasn’t always Chicago. It was part of a vast prairie, a grassland, untold prehistoric animals roamed what was Chicago, they went right up to the lake, drank from it, probably where Oak Street Beach is now, where we take you swimming.

You think

I think, I think you ought to go downstairs into the basement and get one of Grampa’s shovels, a spade, and start digging in our backyard, back near the alley, in the earth behind the incinerator.

Do you really think theres dinosaur bones there

If not there, likely somewhere else, but you’re not going to know unless you dig.

he thought about it then he thought why hadnt he thought of it if he would have asked to dig up the backyard obviously she would have let him let him dig for dinosaur bones as she was sending him out to now

What a dummy he thought

Okay Gramma Im going to find a bonemaybe a whole skeleton

That’s my boy.

his mother came home later that afternoon

she walked up behind her mother who was hanging laundry on the outdoor back porch What’s Joe up to?

He’s digging for dinosaur bones.

Dinosaur bones.  You’re okay with that? He’s dug a pretty deep hole.

I told him he was going to have to dig deep, but to be careful not so deep that he dug all the way to China.

You didn’t.

I did.

I think there’s something more to this than meets the eye.

Yes. It was a beautiful day and he was inside reading because he had no one to play with. I thought he should be outside.

So you incentivized him?

In a manner of speaking. He’ll sleep good tonight.

Joe! Joe!

Yes Gramma

Time to start filling the hole in, can’t leave it open, have someone fall in it and hurt themselves.

he was better-than-waist-deep in it

he turned to face her as she stood on the back porch among the fluttering clothing  stood holding the shovel in his hands earth piled to one side

Push the soil back, don’t pack it, if you think the hole looks promising you can dig again tomorrow, the earth will be soft, you’ll get through it in no time.

he wasnt completely convinced

Hurry now! You have to clean up before dinner too. We’ll be eating in fifteen, twenty minutes. Hurry!

goodness  he was really hungry he crawled out of the hole and began pushing earth nearest the edge into it he realised it was going to take no time at all

he was hungry

his mother was setting the table for dinner in the kitchen when her mother returned and took the homemade bread loaves from the oven to cool  You’ve incentivized him yet again.

Not to his knowledge, Karol. He’s looking for dinosaur bones. And they’re buried.

How long do you think he’ll keep this up?

He’s a focused little boy. How long do you think he’ll keep it up?

I think he’ll keep it up as long as you let him dig.

I think as much too.

Or until he finds dinosaur bones.

0929,  Monday,  23  4. 18 

Bohren & der Club of Gore  Death End Angels  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuKVDJXUQnc

the shit ya read

some of it turns a crank like a meat grinder organ grinder  chimp bangs their tin cup on your skullbeating you senselessinto submission

                            provokes a keen idea

“. . was not a samurai spirit. Like most of common humanity, she would cling to life until the last undignified moment.”

let that sink in for a moment as he did

                                        let undignified stick its nervy tentacles into your sensesdig into your eyes lacerate your tongue slither down your throat gagging you  cant draw a breath   choke piss an shit yourself 

“Hoping for some miracle. Begging for mercy.”

he replies to her “. . every time I take a life, I know the value of it.”

“The value of it. The value of a human life. . It has no value, intrinsic to itself . . Machines cost money to build. Raw materials cost money to extract. But people? You can always get more people. They reproduce like cancer cells . . They are abundant . . Why should they be valuable? . . Real human flesh is cheaper than a machine. It’s the axiomatic truth of our time.”

he bookmarked those passages so he wouldnt lose them

they were awful  truths? 

granted it was a scifi

                        but scifi has a propensity of foretelling the future it almost singlehandedly erases our plausible deniability that we feebly want to cling to murmur ignoranceya dont get to say you were ignorant because ya chose not to be informed

he struggled imagining ignorance

he tried as best he could to extend his nerveendings outside his body exceeding his skin that buffered them looking like a simian pincushion a riled porcupineHA hedgehog  bristled so that he couldnt movehed snap off quills expose firing synapses overwhelm neurons sear and cauterise the convolutions that rippled his brain

he couldnt be informed enough

he parsed fact from fiction from disinformation from propaganda  honesty from dishonesty  he knew the value of the produce hawked at the marketplace of ideas

when he was really irritated he wore an black RVCA t-shirt CURE IGNORANCE etched above a hand holding an opened book

yah the shit ya read

1054,  Sunday,  22 4. 18

https://www.forbes.com/sites/briankmiller/2017/12/04/theres-no-need-to-compel-speech-the-marketplace-of-ideas-is-working/#13654a64e68b

he woke one morning  five years ago  yah   easily five years ago   he laid there beside his girlfriend and noticed a spider working its way across the white textured wall at his feet  about an inch an a half down from where the ceiling joined the wall  if the house had crown moulding itd be negotiating it instead  but nobody fashioned houses with crown moulding these daysrarely  the last carpentry gig he worked he did  but that was better than twenty years ago and he worked for wealthy clients  craftsmen still get those gigs  carpenterson the other hand  pneumatic hammers  throw up slaptraps  were bitched  one could argue it was an unnecessary expense a waste of material that modernity is made up of clean precise lines  the litany of excuses  had crown moulding suddenly appeared it would crush his little bughis little transverser

he or she moseyed across the wall deftly defying gravity  nearly seven eight feet  then stopped 

she or he started up hesitated began again he thought to himself staggered  he tried to imagine eight legs staggering what would that loss of coordination look like up close

they stopped again

he listened to his girlfriend breathing she pursed her lips pouted  her look made him want to kiss her  she probably gnawed at her mouthguard  she grind her teeth  stress her doctor said her dentist said   stress

maybe just being a woman was stressful  

she wasnt the only woman he knew who wore a mouthguard to bed  his daughters   huh maybe he was their commonalitytheir criminal  they shared intimate relations with him   nah  he was chill he steered clear of stressful situations  stress was a killer he enjoyed life too much when his eyes popped open in the morning he smiled  he was elated he was granted another day of livinganother day to enjoy the adventure  he was nearly ridiculous about it

they never moved again the spider died before his very eyes

he felt bad

he reverse-engineered its life emerging from its gauzy egg sac amid a myriad of siblings all out for the same thing food  tiny mighty mites falling on prey becoming prey then somehow she or he found their way inside his house how long did that take how old or young were they

they were going to stay there pat until their carapace broke free

Are you ever going to brush that spider down off the wall?

he turned left took an elbow  Good morning beautiful

Good morning. I’ve been watching you. You’ve been watching the spider.

I have

You seemed lost in thought.

You know me Im always looking to get lost

So?

So

The spider.

No

It’s beenwhat four years?

Five years They died early winter of the fall we moved in 

Is its remains some kind of edifice?

No

Why haven’t you taken it down?

Reminds me of she or he he or she  that I cant walk on walls or subsist entirely on my wiles kill to survive

Jesus, Joe. That’s a tall order.

Aint it

0958,  Saturday,  21  4. 18

Awright baby take your medicine  watch dis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shzcdCVdgOc anif you don feel better in the morningdon call me  You dead

1547,  Saturday,  21  4. 18

as much as he liked physical violence  the warm sticky blood split eyebrows knuckles pummeled noses and jaws the marvelous purplingthe swelling of latent bruises

psychic violence appealed to him too 

but the twistthe reason he didnt botheras patient as he was  and he was a patient muthafucker  forced into it not intuit by surgeries and recoveries and rehabs  but he wasnt patient enoughmental enough to conceive of the plot lay the trap then exercise the mind game 

minds dont tear and bleed and mess up concrete or sawdusted bar floors feed insects living in long grass

dig

he was more visceral he needed the colour and gory the sounds of the slaps and thumps the occasional gunshots of broken bones snapped tendons  hanging spittle the queer design of its webs vagrant blood spattered on walls tabletops peoples clothing

ah  hed admit it

                  he was superficial

he lacked depth

2110,  Monday,  5  3. 18 

1636,  4/20 Reggae Friday,  2018 

Pepper  Give It Up  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeTWI8PDJso  I am superficial 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDO4g9THrQ0

Christ how long has it been    an eternity   I know many days or less itll be  but thats small comfort when enduring the introduction

                             President of the United States  Donald Trump

just threw up in back of my mouthfuck
                                     though he does look a bit like Dale Bozzio in glam drag no offense to Ms Bozzio

1345,  Saturday,  21  4. 18

That was unlikely.

Unlikely he felt that small vein in his right eyelid go off  start twitchin tw i t  ch i  n  not a good prospect for the mouth

Whasunlikely

What. The whole of it.

Hey man were sittin here sharin stories gettin to know each other Are you dissin mecallin me a liar

No. I’m not. I’m just saying it’s unlikelyit’s pretty fabulous.

Fabulous  Better  Yadon know me from Adam ya oughta take a good look around at some of the people here who do Take a look Look at their faces  They know me Yadont  Wha do their faces say or areya just shit . .

. . Hey . .

. . Heynuthin  Yamight be shit when it comes to readin people

Listen, man, I just said your story was unlikely.

he was as unlikely as his stories

he had a knack a natural proclivity for falling into places among people and was bolstered by an insatiable curiosity
an appetite for the odd and weird

he took a job in Miami as a busboy for a restaurant chain Bodega that was founded by a millionaire catDavid when millions were real money who prior had founded and sold off Burger Kingfuck  he worked for Burger King once  so hed worked for the man before he met him

David had a lavish place in Miami and loved hanging out with his employees

a little weird in that he was hanging with late teen early twenties to his late forties  but whenever he threw a shindig you were invited

cat had an infinity swimming pool above the ocean that also ran into a grotto fashioned from coral  Florida was coral  it was madeup of aggregates and organics that clung to mangrove roots 

he snorkeled and collected fish for money among the mangrove with a fellow university student who majored in geology Mike who turned him onto Big Steve an enormous redhead redbearded boy from Alabama  Steve wore a massive fro rolled joints and stuck them in it  you hit up Steve for a taste of what he was moving and hed sit on your sofa or in a chair or get down on his knees hang his head over your coffee table or footlocker or whatever served as a coffee tablehe threw a wood plank that had washed up on the beach on top of crab traps he robbed from the seabed  he ate its occupants  Steve jammed his fingers into his fro and shook his hair and joints would rain out of it  he rolled them in coloured papers to distinguish what from what

Steve was fond of him  his Chitown birth and growing upfor whatever reason impressed Steve  who also hadnt met many polacks  he was Steves kryptonite  he could do no wrong according to him and he cinched the deal when he brought Steve to party at Davids place

Steve laid a joint on him that contained opiated hash rolled mechanical pencil thin  it smelled and tasted like flowers

fucked him up good

sitting at the edge of infinity he watched two chicks strip and plunge into the pool  they frolickedplayed with each other  bareass they look like mermaids in the honey moonlight

they made their way to the grotto

the sounds sighing from the grotto incited him

excited him

he stripped When in Rome do as the Romans the Sabine women do

he swam into the grotto

one girl was up on a shelf

the others head was between her legs

a fit of sexual abandon

the grotto the Isle of Lebos

Whaddafuck he had abandoned his state of mind already he swam up on them and gently insinuated himself into their goings-on

they were pretty toreup

they cooed to his entry  

soon he flipped the smaller one belly up on top of the other on the shelf and set to snacking on them  the game just beginning

whats outrageous unlikely about that

just the coarse of his nature

1041,  4/20 Reggae Friday,  2018

Pepper  Point and Shoot  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdlJNqQtsbc

she was smallso very small butched hair  long neck  

when he touched her she trembled I’m not afraid

he took her at her word

he smelled her hair at its crown  breathing her in he gently moved his face through her hair down the side of her head

he paused watched her pulse beat in her neck

leaning into her his firmness against her bellyagainst her quickening diaphragm  he watched her pulse pick up

he put his nose to her ear  to the basethe side of her skull  deeply breathing her in  her soft fragrance babylike

I . . I’m . . . he placed his lips on her jugular . . I’m not afraid

she didnt move

she leaned like a rabbit against the wall perhaps imagining herself cornered or invisible 

her breaths massaged his cock

You have nothing to fear  Youre very beautiful   Do you know that   

Am I?

Yes Very beautiful  You should know that

he ran his thumb along her collarbone 

he slipped it under the wide V-neck viscose sweater she wore  rustcoloured  complimenting her auburn shag 

he ran his left hand up her sleeved arm buying slack in the sweater its bodice

she sighed high in her throat

he kissed her jugular  then in one movement he slipped her sweater off her shoulder exposing her breast

she gasped

he cupped her warm breast in his hand and gently nudged her erect nipple with his thumb

she breathed openmouth

he placed his mouth over hers inhaling as she exhaled exhaling as she inhaled a pollen exchange a dance of honeybees

their tongues hesitant serpents intertwined

her hand went to his jeansher hands went to his jeans  Oh Christ she said into his mouth

he smiled over her mouth 501s buttonflies baby 

as she went madly at his pant fly he clutched and greedily lapped her breast  sucked   bit her nipple

Christ! she threw her head back laughing

he bit harder

shifting realities

spun in a zoetrope

dancing on twelve polished mirrors

                                                        flickering

madly 

she escaped

he didnt know see  how

he held a pale blue wool sweater in his hands

he was hungry

opening the sweater he found broken shell halves of seven brown eggs  broken yolks  quivering whites

he let the sweater go slack in his hands and forming a bowl with it he ate around the shells sucked them into his mouth spat them out onto the ground a forest floor debris lichen rot mushrooms small delicate flowering plants
                                                                                                            small insects 

he sucked the ruined eggs out the wool  and finished he flipped the sweater over and wiped his face clean

he looked around he looked up

                                 treetops swayed in the wind they sounded like voices speaking in tongues he didnt recognise and couldnt understand

after watching them for a while he didnt see there was any reason to stay to wait

he wore boots

he spat in his palm and Huck Finn style he slapped it with two finger watching in what direction the largest gob flew 

thats where he would walk

he followed the gob

it would be interesting

reality shifts

2132,  Monday,  16  4. 18

incited dreams (1221),  Thursday,  19  4. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d29u8KWiacw

sometimes its better to start at the end and end at the beginning

                                                                          sometimes

well find out

he was intolerant of intolerance live n let live

hes a rumblebum a rumblebum raddling off litanies peddling odd liturgies

addled hes an addled man a raddled man

addle-d
        how

a

deep

deliberate

liberation

exhalation

raddle-d
         

really

a

deep

deliberation

liberation

exhalation

detoxifying

were endgulfed in toxicity 

airs poisoned money to be made

waters poisoned money to be made

soils poisoned money to be made

airwaves irradiated money to be made

walls are built to keep people outkeeping people in  

but those walls wont hold out the permeating toxicity they helped endable

                                                                               he detoxifies

while wrioting 

theyre wrioting sessions helpful seconds sesseconds successivesesseconds

mounting

and amount

              making beauteous landfills of

meandering memories of

tattletale thoughts

that which makes us uncomfortable is

undesireable

an that that is undesireable is

loathed is

defiled is

pornographic to decent people

I cant say what is pornographic but I know it when I see it

decent

I cant say what is decent but I know it when I see it

asked when he was obviously visibly distressed by current events which should never have happened not in a Nation of presumably decent people Would an All-You-Can-Eat breastfeast help

maybe he didnt hear right maybe his sight influenced his hearing 

he stood on Higuera outside Louisa’s a breakfast joint a chalked handwritten a-sign touted  BREAKFAST SPECIAL 
just another roadside attraction  

lifting his facelooking up Higuera as the speaker spoke he saw Victoria’s Secret on the opposite cornerRomee Strijd staring through her blonde bangs over her cupped breasts

he was distracked

Plucky Purcell was at the back of his mind badgering him  Everything that happens in this society sooner or later boils down to a matter of a buck

money the root of all evil
                          Saint Timothy 6:10 KJV

pagans worshipping Diana stoned Timothy an act also known as lapidation  hmm he wouldnt mind being lapped to death  what would that be called since lapidation was taken hhmm

                                   

0737,  Monday,  7  6. 99

1406,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  18  4. 18

Kendrick Lamar  Average Joe  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amAS6VKeq-U