doldrums  defined: a state or period of inactivity, stagnation, or depression 

                                                                          hed exposit  dull drums

not rimshots or sharpsnares  rather the morose steadybeatTHUMP of bass drums 

                                                                                      relentless 

sun snatched from the sky 

                             muted coloursdesperate clingingwebs  feral black and white

it is easy to submitbecome depressed if one isnt tossedin the tumult of a work day

   tick tick tick he heard  an antique clock a beloved uncle insisted he have when he died  may sound to others like revolver hammers pulled reluctantlyback or caps of Child-proof medication stubbornlyturned to overdose

                                                                                                               dark days 

seemingly no recourse seemingly unsubmitting 

                                                 theyre unable to see beyond themthrough Winter  into Springs green an growth despite its yearly revival

   Hope 

          pruned incorrectlybuds negated by trembling fingers hands  preoccupiedminds

approaching winter

If it now, when?  

                   21DecemberNO It’s not winter yet!

theyre despondent

he remarked  A day at a time

theyre consumedrather burn timeexperience and be on the other side 20March 

                                                                                    asif it were a vow 

when too many vows have failed

too many taken in bright warm afternoon suns 

                                                  in youthful inexperience 

haphazard

without introspection 

                        without obligation

 

it would feel like winter nowfeel like winter in their bones

   try as he may he couldnt summons compassion 

                                                      had known too many defeats  heartaches   defects

he left sympathy to those who had the capacity to look elsewhere  turn a blind eyeturn their cheek

   A day at a time

                     See ya on the flipside or not

he wasnt a moralist

                     a coldblooded realist scarred by a wickedstreak of idealism colouredenthusiastically outside the lines 

So you cheer for the underdog?

   Unrepentantly I do

1451,  Monday,  12  12. 22

Iron Butterfly  Most Everything You Want  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QZdITJX6I0  

Coldplay  Viva la Vida  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MY4eEOB1wSI 

he didnt think hed see a Republican in name only try to out-cunt the former

but it took an actual cunt to out-cunt him 

                                            angiven its only her second term in the House

a Greene cunt is apropos

she shouldnt be in Congress

serves only herself so she thinks   

Georgias 14th District ought to be embarrassed

1233,  Monday,  12  12. 22

https://censusreporter.org/profiles/50000US1314-congressional-district-14-ga/ https://www.georgiavotes.com/ushouse.php?cd=14

The Zombies (my apologise gentlemen)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=it68QbUWVPM

Rep Greene touting fake comedic sarcasm  Republicans rely on itgranting themselves a chuckle while saying theyve recanted their remarks   Democrats cant seem to take a joke was stripped of her two House committee assignments early 2021 due to her mouth regarding Jan6

she hasnt achieved a damn thing for her constituents 

                                                        unless ofcourse shes claimed responsibility for money Democrats passed without Republican votes 

seems the only thing shes managed to do in 2 years since elected is to be sued for divorce

1814,  Monday,  12  12. 22

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/marjorie-taylor-greene-divorce-affair-b2177654.html

Isn’t that special  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puwoUKhZQbg

 

   Gobekli Tepe 

                Yah he needed a memory technique to recall what it was as on every occasion when he crossed it hed think to himself I know what it is   Wha is it 

                                                   at long last 

Tepee 

      asin pitch a tepee a tent have an erection

the erection sequesdirects him

                                 Gobekli Tepe arguably a templefirst temple ever depicted on a pillar among animals is a headless man with an erect penis

Tepee will also triggerinform discussions he could have with himself regarding the man   How does a headless man keep an erection   Obviously massive blood loss  his Mariachi vouchsafed his notion was ridiculous answering shehe heshe believed the carving captured a moment in time  perhaps an executionperhaps since purported a temple a human sacrifice 

          Thas a leap

No

Okay Explain  I might be thick

In a word priapism

OhOuch 

Tell us about it

   Yah manohman but please your explanation

Certnee

Comon

         No Curly Three Stooges impersonation

I thought it was good                                         

I didnt say it wasnt Im curious for your explanation     

Its drollwanted to Curly to pick it up

Droll Try me

   It depicts the immediate post-mortem erection or priapism that occurs in victims of hangings or beheadings as a result of massive trauma to the spinal cord

Victims   Criminals Criminals Victims

Open to interpretation  No heshe shehe giggled hard evidence

his turn Certnee 

   a memory technique   wouldnt have to wrestle with it again

0912,  Thursday,  8  9. 22

1208 (too bad it wasn’t 4 minutes later),  Monday,  12  12. 22

https://www.dainst.blog/the-tepe-telegrams/2016/10/14/of-animals-and-a-headless-man-gobekli-tepe-pillar-43/ 

https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/sciadv.1700564 

https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1ILPI_enUS778US778&q=Three+Stooges+Curly+Certainly&spell=1&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjmw-mU7_T7AhXuJUQIHdU0BcwQBSgAegQIBhAB&biw=1920&bih=937&dpr=1#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:a09f1e33,vid:B9AuTriTmro

he say name it

yah he did

diet was high in fiber 

                     thought meals would pass headlong through him and out the other end 

                                                                                                  C’est la vie

shy cat was sleeping on his lap her timing impeccable 

when he sat down before the computer to dig in cup of fresh black coffee  hed scoop her up an set her on his lapNAWH

wasnt having it  shed bound off 

                                       later shed hop up on his lap and fall asleep

his coffee coldnearly finished his bowels rapped Time brother 

                                                                 Excuse me babe Nature calls  afterwards refreshing my coffee

she wasnt pleased 

Ought to hang with me at the getgo this is on you

   high fiber

             sometimes forwhaeverreason it decided not to roll  instead glommed

this morning 

uncomfortable 

                   good thing he kept books on a stool in reach 

wasnt going to be pleasant

   true to form it wasnt 

he even cramped   cramped while tryin to crap    Awcomon

was like giving birthCHRIST 

                               

                                      FIaNALLY 

   had to admit

he was tempted to name it 

234 preferred,  Sunday,  11  12. 22

1024,  Sunday

Oblique Occasions  0:00 minute-mark  He Say  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q52TVZfJ0k8 

I had no idea  Bristol . . You  https://www.continence.org.au/bristol-stool-chart

they met at the grocery store

she worked there 

hed dated more than one cashier

it was destiny he was to date another

Sounds like a line to me her head tilting It’s worked for you before?

he chuckled

              Yare funny When you get to know me better youll understand I woudnt use a line  Im not one to fish

she thought 

             he could see it in her Mexican brown eyesonly her eyes she wore a black mask 

                                                                                                 he did too 

she wasnt wearing a ring

briefly he read her nametag bottom angling forward busty

                                                               Esmeralda he said meeting her eyes My names Joe

I don fish

he wondered if she knew cocksure  he wasnt

he was confident

thought complete

                   her eyes crinkledshe smiled It’s nice to meet you, Joe.

he would have shaked her handcould hear his mother Shook he liked shaked as when he swore she scolded him You know better, you had a good upbringing, education, your father and I . . .  she was right  but there was an acrylic panel between them  there because ignorant peoplethoughtless people shopped there too many old enough to have contracted polio but for their parents who thought better of community 

                                                      Woud you like to go out with me  

handing him the receipt I’m working . . could I think about it?  

he torn the extraneous portion off REWARDS AVAILABLE  POINTS EARNED TODAY  at the bottom of it he wrote his telephone number 

                    handing it to her If youd like Id like if you did      

her eyes crinkled again 

he was certain his did

they met for coffee twice drinks once a movie plain popcorn not buttered dinner once  more frequently they met to walk and talk during her breaks at work 

they ran in the rain from his car through the parking lot to the staircase to her second floor apartment 

                                                                                                           Nooo dammit! 

she forgot to take her keys from her purse while in the car 

he laughed

NO. This isn’t funny we’re getting wet . .

. . Rainwater rinse As a kid good for our hair

                                               bursting into her placeYou’ll have to tell me that story but first let me get us some towels.

Here give me your purse jacket Ill hold them so you don drip everywhere

she did then kicked off her shoes pranced into the livingroom disappeared right into the hall 

cupboard doors opened yankedtussled towels laughter padding of naked feet 

                                                                                    rounding the corner she had one over her headanother on her shouldertossed him a third catching it her purse almost came off his shoulder  she continued to himstood beside him on the tiled foyer That better?

Yes thank you  Your towels smell amazing

OH . thank you. she saidpeeking out from under a towel as she dried her hair a chore  thick black hair to the middle of her back

         Do you need another towel?she started stepping away 

No  Plenty   Im good

out from the folds of plumcoloured fabric wild mussedtossed hair she smiled wide eyes crinklingkilling him with her dimples when they first met he thought she might  unmasked she did 

                                                                    I have to get out of these clothes. I have a robe I think will fit youlet me get it then I can take your clothes, dry them.          

Now yare thinkin  he smiled

she followed 

              You'll have to forgive me, I was engrossed with our conversation in the car. 

You were talking 

Would you stop? failed at acting perturbed You’re a tease.

Anyare my muse I cant help me his mother a tease herself said Myself

humoured Esmeralda shook her head In my defense . . you distracted me.

There you have it serving my purpose

she shook her head vigorouslysmiling I’ll get the robe. Then while we change, when you’re finished, you can pour us whiskyin the kitchen he knew neat to warm us up.

Sounds like a plan 

he undressed the robe fit left his clothingroughly folded on top the towel on the tile eventually found the whisky poured two glasses then went up the hallway to her bedroom at the end

he thought she would have heard him fumbling around in the kitchen opening cabinets finding glasses finding whisky 

evidently not 

              making the bedroom threshold a glass in either hand she gaspedquickly snatched a robe off the foot of the bed held it up in front of herself 

                                     her hair curled at her throatlaid lazy on her shoulders

he tried not to smile wasnt in him Excuse meI apologise Thought Id given you timetha youd heard me

shaking her head no a hand came up to her mouth 

                                                     then her spine went erect then standing tall she tossed her head backshook her mane 

her expression was priceless  

her voice more priceless

                          The mirror’s behind me, yes?

   a freestanding mirror body length

Yes

You can see me?

   Yes

      Beautiful backyour ass is fantastic  Ass setsdefinitely assets

she didnt movedidnt blush

he set her whisky on a low bookshelf beside the door 

                                                         Ill leave this here See you again  in a bit

returning to the livingroom sipping whisky remembering that they were joking about the black masks they wore when they met how much he was enthralled by her Mexican brown eyes but but tha  he was dying to see her wearing a black blindfold for a counterpoint

0050,  Sunday,  11  12. 22

1250,  Sunday

shes not here 

   this evening thats a good thing 

                                    it was one of those nights when he wished violence would presentprovoke him nothing like a good oldfashioned bloodletting  his theirswouldnt matter  couldnt give two shits 

                                                                                                      he had reason 

every yearthree years 

this day 

           it used to be to remember Pearl Harbor his father listened to President Roosevelt utter . . . a date that will live in infamy  on the radio 

                         an uncle climbedup out of the bowels of his sinking ship through a dorade box on deck 

a hornshaped ventilator     

   but now the date means something else that he hasnt been able to shakelikely never will                                                                                                                                 an in his welling remorse sadness hed like violence to replace the anguish his memory  his helplessness 

                                                                                   he couldnt take the bullet for her

it was nonnegotiable

   there was no one to take it up with

he was forced to bear witness 

forced to sublimate his violencehis instinct

 

he stood on the porch looking into the night 

                                             begging Come  Come try your hand at me 

she wasnt here 

                spared what would have been her helplessness trying to help him

also nonnegotiable

2209,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  12. 22

1631,  Saturday,  10  12. 22

The Zombies  She’s Not There  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycP6yiupDPM

he wasnt particularly keen on the Eaglesdidnt pay much attention to them until he heard the Joe Walsh joined the band https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_qHU_6Ofc0 doesnt own one of their albums 

Victim of Love https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFdomKzAPTY 

                                                                       crawled through his skull as he simmered between dreams an on an on 

                     was in a steamer that could roll onto its side and navigatesubmerged just beneath the ocean surface when doing so certain sections were closed as contaminated air atmosphere pulsed into them those sections were located portside the ship always rolled onto its starboard when diving also portside were entertainment salons contamination holds where situated between them one had to wait for them to be purged before entering  a series of green and red lights were strung on bulkheads indicating safe passage or not 

                                                                                   several times he was caught in passageways when suddenly they went red he gained shipwide notoriety for not dyingeither staggering to a locked hatch or plucked prone from a gangway by crew wearing aerated hoods over their headspacking oxygen on their backs 

more often than not his notorietypreceding him provided him company and an inability to purchase his own drinks it seemed understood the reason why he risked his lifewhich wasnt true unfortunately he had a habit of learning the hard way school of hard knocks  it was his lot he accepted it

Cam she introduced herself approached him a cute blonde pixie haircut unpixie body though not necessarily his type she admitted her approach was for a girlfriend who didnt want to come over to the bar rather stay in her chair at an obscure table when Cam pointed towards her Ken Ken lit a match it illuminatedplayed on her chest throat face framed in auburn hair that the firelight hintedwhispered its highlights she proceeded to light a stout yellowchamomile coloured candle at the center of the table 

                                  Ken would like you to have dinner with her . I won’t be staying.

No

No. I lost the coin toss.

the way Cam said it provoked Tough out before he could stop it

Tell me. My life. Hardknocks.

his estimation of her rose 

                            Maybe another time 

she laughed heartily

                       Pick through bones, no thanks.

May be Kens bones

Oh. 

    That’d be interesting.

   Maybe another time

We’ll see I suppose.

he tipped her head backfinger at her chin gentlybriefly kissed her 

                                                                     taking his finger from her chin she stepped backwardsaway from him 

she smiled

           began humming Victim of Love  then turned walked away

briefly he watchedadmired her go

then drink in hand he walked between tables to Kens

seemed on an on hypnopompic this morning,  Saturday,  10  12. 22 

1044, Saturday 

Oblique Occasions  雪の上の血  21:33 minute-mark   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orHN-JXSlg8

it was cool for themhe didnt mind birds werent his thingalthough he was peachykeen bout hummingbirds they had a long history composed of more than enough stints while he was incapacitated a painfuluseless left wing which limitedimposed upon him the effort to make sugarwater and feed them 

                                                                           that kept him out from underfoot and from being jostled which he could not tolerate

while he hadnt a passion for birds when he hiked with them he paid keen attention to their wordslistened Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent. to them discuss the difference in species West and East of the Rockies he referred to them as avid boiders  his moniker  that they didnt correct as it amused them 

                                                                                     boiders anhe was a woider

coined words  he was determined to hamperdiminish cellar doors standing step on J R R Tolkiens toeshis assessment that it is the most beautiful word in the English language  cellophane floor aint shabby neither are optic cup cute cunt charred trees neon nude

                         fact was  if he had children who were not attractive he would have been able to admit they were not  therefore his estimation of phonaesthetics was capable and worthwhile

bruised bananas pornographic virgin rawawkwardness 

                                                           it was unfortunate Tolkien was dead

he would have loved to share his most beautiful words in the English language

 

1521,  Thursday,  24  3. 22

0910, Saturday,  10  12. 22

Grouper  Lighthouse  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47pIFb-12do  her rainwater enema

cat dug graphs 

               no matter the conversation if subject matter nearedverged on provability either to confirm or denyto prove his point elaborate it he insisted Labouring that he agreed was insufficient pen and paper were outcuriously he never brought paper only a pen paper fell to him drew and labeled the x- y-axes and began drawing lines to prove himself correct 

AwKahrist again shaking his head like a weary chimp This is excessive 

I want you to see. 

You want to see 

                  I can see it in my head I don need it diagramed

You should see.

   No You have to see it makes it more tangiblemore real 

                                                             Being unimaginative you need things concrete Knowing is proof enough for me

 

this graph was about hypothetical he had said I own my hypothetical

So you say, however, is it realistic? 

                                      I can show you. 

Jesus

Give me a piece of paper. 

                           he drew the x-axis labeled it Hypothetical subheaded it Independent the y-axis was Reality subheaded Dependent

he was curious if the rays he would draw would begin at 0,0 coordinateSURPRISED him

                                                                                             before drawing a single line he was confident there would be three or more he scribbled a ball like one scribbles inside a ballot circle when voting 

This is you.  it was way down the x-axis  undoubtedly Hypothetical  scarcely a coordinate on Reality 

Where are you

Me.  he drew a line that arced up quickly paralleling Reality and nowhere down the line near the scribbled ball representing him above Hypothetical 

                                       he quickly dashed off two other lines one at approximately a fortyfive degree angle the third recording a hump halfway to his marker then continuingfalling by degrees which eventually have it crash at 0 on the y-axis 

                    THERE.  I think that sums things up nicely. Superior ticked into his facehis expression

How did I get there

Man you’re so random . . another iteration I can imagine would be a dartboard, a single dart, thrown eyes closed. Upside . . since you’d be throwing you wouldn’t miss the board.

THERE is tha

                  Appreciate the vote of confidence

1445,  Thursday,  24  3. 22

1028,  ReggaeFriday,  9  12. 22

Collie Buddz  Show Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQ_dzuZZ1DA

she was ASTONISHEDgiggled 

                                Did you just fart? it was clear despite asking around her toothbrush

You needed toothpaste

they stood side by side framed in the bathroom mirror above the sink 

                                                                         he relished their intimacy

You did didn’t you?

he wasnt embarrassed bodily functions functioneddidnt ask permission 

                                                                              Tooothpaste

You have yours an I was trying to get the last for me

I’d have thrown it away a couple days agocan’t believe you’re able to express mo . .

. . Waste not want not

he pinched the foot of the tubeused the sink lip as an edge and pressing hard with his hand dragged the tube back towards him virtually scraping the paste inside up to its neckthe opening 

                                                                             he got hers 

now getting his pinching hard pressing ever harderleaning on one arm dragging the tube scraping it empty the exertion made him fart 

                but he did get his 

he screwed the cap back on it tossed it into the turquoise tin pail they used as a wastebasket

   Waste not, want not . . you fartedyes.

Yes I farted 

              Wasnt like I shit in my pants baby

she giggled 

           meeting her eyes in the mirror as he went to begin brushing his teeth she burst out laughing toothpastedsaliva sprayed the mirror

he stepped back while she continued losing her shit

when the bout exhausted itself he looked through the speckles at her she had tears in her eyes

                                                                                                     You spatter the mirror

You farted you made me.

1211 or 0011,  Thursday,  8  12. 22

1441,  Thursday

Christina Vantzou  Glissando for Bodies and Machines in Space  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXgh0thgsm4