10.9.21

 

    Albert Camus

                      Memory is the enemy of Totalitarianism


he had an idea regarding the more than 600 charged January 6 insurrectionists 

they are not political prisoners

he felt their jail/prison terms could be simplified
                                                   they would remain incarcerated – not based on Time served/Time to be served – but rather dependent upon when they can pass  with a C  a quarter/semester of freshman college science biology  physical science  botany  geology  physics   etcetera et ˈsedərə etcetera
                                                                                         thereby creatively providing them an incentive  an educational intellectual plank  to return to society better off than when they entered confinement
or not

possibly late last Century
2326,  Reggae Friday,  10  9. 21
The Chambers Brothers  Time Has Come Today  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIqwzQ7g-Cc 


what happenedhappens to you when you brokebreak the law of your own words

   your   own   words


there are no words  are there
                              arethere

 

cross yourself an there aint a soul you wouldnt
                                                  thats facile thats unremarkably True 


people who crossed themselves intrigued him
                                                for anyall reasons that percolate out of their mouths 

making excuses for the inexcusable they torture reason
                                                           he couldnt imaginedespite his florid ability to imagine  how uglydesperatedespicable reason tortured looks
                                                  savaged  heaped in a corner  its torturerowner refusing to look at it  their back to itCan I go?
NO
    Yare not going anywhere   he watched  let the oooze seep to their instepCan I go?

NO it hadnt slickered their boots 

Can I go?
           Mother may I


You listening to me 
they nod

Ill give you three steps
                             Noow    GO they slippedwent down on their face  three steps bought them nothing
the horror marling their faces  priceless hed run their expressions over and over in his mind  utterly priceless  he didnt understand how they thought they could run from themselves
                                                                    he was their conscience  their enforcer
   Yes Virginia GinnyJimmy  there is a Santa Claus
                                                                     who brings you what you richly deserve

not a fucking clue,  Friday,  14  4. 17
2320, Thursday,  9  9. 21


Some days are diamonds, some days are stones.

Yours

No, I don’t think so.

Ya understand yare welcome to lie . . on occasion  Id own that line if it wasnt mine  That said I know its not yours

Yet you encourage me to lie understanding it’s not mine?

A white lie among friends  winkwink nodnod

You know also I rever the truth.

I do  but sometimes I want chocolate fudge not vanilla ice creama change up  When Im in the bedroom I slip out of character
          Havent disappointed a partner yet

What?

Truth  Sex   Few things as true real as sex  Stroked with a feather or cracked on the ass  Youve been a bad girl
Ever spanked a bad girl

What the fuck are you talking about?


Nah  apparently Im talking about nothing
                                             Ixnay amscray  Whisper that in a womans ear an shell bay at the moon crycall out Fuck!JesusChrist  Yare Jesus Christwho doesnt wanna wear that sexual mantle  Ya hit JesusChrist youve driven the ball out of the park taken her round the bend bent her nail popped her cork
                                                                                            Ravished her

Ravished?


Yaknow  sometimes I wonder why I talk to you
                                                  Youve not ravishednot picked her bones clean crackedsucked the marrow out of them




Ill take that as a No
                      Babe  having sexmaking love means leaving no leftoversleaving nothing for the ravens vultures antsCONSUMED  bring a toothpick to pick your teeth


I haven't.

Ahwell
          Some days are diamonds
1556,  Thursday,  9  9. 21
John Denver  Some Days are Diamonds  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUt2zDrddIQ

 

9.9.21

 

he didnt come by the forest preserves too often anymore

when he was younger his family held picnics there polacks as far and wide as the eye could see and he was related to every one

as a teenager at one such picnic his mother found him Come, I have to introduce you to someone. she took him by the arm and walking over to a pavilion where men were playing accordions people were dancing she talked about a distant cousin she used to write as a girl and when she had emigrated to America they lost track of one another  Oh look, there’s Maria’s daughter; come. when he looked where his mother was looking the girl had turned her back and was facing the pavilion the festivities as they approached her his mother called Stefanie! Stefanie! Stefanie turned I was looking for your mother. I’d like you to meet my son, Joseph. Joseph, this is your cousin Stefanie.

Ah he saidhe nodded to Stefanie her colour rose Weve meet Mom though nice to formally meet you Stefanie he took her hand warmly and shook it

Oh  hello  Joseph; nice to meet you.         

informally they had met down by the dam part of a looseknot of teenagers gathered to get high

they got stoned together

immediately liked one another

slipped away from the clutch

had sex by the river on the blanket Stefanie wore over her shoulders because she wasnt keen of the blouse she was wearing her mother insisted she wear it

the blouse was a little square

what was inside the blouse wasnt

one thing had lead to another

it was hard to say who laid who

they hit so many postureswere on top as often they were down

Thats an unique blouse Stefanie though it doesnt quite compliment you

she smiled widely deepdeep dimples
                                        No, I don’t think so either. Thank you for noticing.

Heck youd look good wrapped in a blanket

She would, wouldn’t she. his mother said Stefanie, you’re such a beautiful girl; someday you’ll make someone very happy.

Some day he said

You’re killing me Stefanie whispered

Ya nearly killed me 

 

 

he looked around the woods horse paths open fields a pavilion brick barbecues the light was brighter at one side beyond a stand of birch where the river was wide and reflected the sunlight like a mirror
                                                                                              some trouble was taken to sand it the water ran shallow the bank was gradedsanded too it made for a small attractive beach to sun on water to wade or swim in

colourful blankets old worn chenilles picnic baskets pinning them were scattered across on the luxurious grass hard to beat Illinois grass made one dream of being a grazing animal  a happy lost ruminator

he crossed a horse path through some high weeds then to the woods edge near the river upstream from the beach 

he laid a blanket down anchored it with a cooler inside sandwich meats cheese fruit beer he smiled to himself the blanket was dappled by shade sunlight nearly 50/50 he took off his shoes striped off his shirt bundled them into a rough pillow he had a couple of books pen and paper in his knapsack
                                                                          though first he was going to lavish himself do nothing think of nothing sip a beer close his eyes 

he hadnt finished half his beer his eyes were closed  the dark inside them grew darker 

it remained

it wasnt a cloud

he opened one eye lazily

it was a shadow
                   Hello he closed his eye

Hello to you; you’ve quite the spot. a womans voice

Thank you

It’s my spot.

Your spot Well in the past youve had quite the spot
                                                       Id be happy to share your spot
Share?

Novel ideahuh Itas you can see is a huge blanket
                                                      Yare welcome

Welcome . . to my spot

Correct
         I aint moving Im settled comfortable Im relaxing musing Yare also welcome to the cooler beer water fruit sandwich Help yourself  Consider it a tribute

A tribute?

Yes
     Either the internationally recognised historic tribute an offering or we can schlapp recognise it as a Tenacious D Tribute

Tenacious D?

Uhhuh

I don’t know what that is.

Be very careful yare risking your tribute
                                            Ill take it you have a smartphone Take a gander

she sat downquit throwing shade
                                     he could hear her tap

Oh, Jack Black the actor.

Careful revealing your age

My age?
         Did you peek?

No Im relaxingmusing Ill sputter the first thing that comes into my mind cuz Id rather not
                                                                                               Accepting my tribute
she said something he didnt quite catch it  stir  made no sense  ster  hyphenated  –ster  monster  spirit sprite  forest spirit  –ster is not spirit sprite fuck it  he felt like a nap
                                                          Help yourself sister maybe it was sister maybe he cracked the code


he almost nodded off the breeze lapping him held him conscious it was nicecame off the river the water an woods smelled goodhe almost wished he left her room so the breeze could have come off of her too
                                                                                                salad of scents


Are you awake?

I am

Did you fall asleep?

No hypnagogic

Hypnagogic. Hypnagogic . . what’s that?

First D then hypnagogic
                           Look it up doll

she said something he didnt quite catch it again
                                                   Im sorry I missed what you said

Nothing important, I was mumbling.

Earlier you said –ster or something like that when you sat

Yes.


An

Maybe . . mister?

Joe Im Joe

Joe, I’m Ginny.

Short for Gennieve not Virginia

Yes, you're right.

rolling onto his hip to face her he opened his lazy eye again wider
                                                                        focused    Oh man yare a youngsterHa

Someone younger than you’s a youngster she sighed I’m no youngster.

Could have fooled me yare very beautiful

Thank you; you’re in my spo . .
. . Edumacating you

he opened his other eye to take her in stereooptically
                                                        gym shoesno socks short shorts tanned softlooking scoopnecked pullover she shifted  braless 

Ginny

Yes?

–ster
      It wasnt mister I didnt call you sister Didnt know you were a youngster  Wha

I was upset.

Yare no longer upset

I’m not, no I’m not, Joe.

Good
       Have a beer Tell me whaya said

Ginny opened the cooler her breasts tussled like a pair of puppies  very becoming

You?

In a bit thank you

she used the attached corded churchkey uncapped her beer took a deep draw

headback an attractive throat freckled  a freckled chest
                                                             she brought the bottle down smiled at him dimples green eyes  reallystrawberry blonde
                                 Ah, that’s refreshing.

Part of a worthwhile tribute

her smile grew wider
                       Part of a tribute.

Excellent now were getting off on the right foot
                                                  Whadidyasay   –ster Not monster either

No. colour rose in her face  Not monster.

Yare killin me

I called you a cunt, a cuntster.

Cuntster havent heard that beforesuppose we cant Google that

No.

Creative Im a big fan
                       Whadoes cuntster describe

You were a cunt, I use cuntster, I’m adverse to saying cunt.

I understand butah   no more

No. You’ll like this . . you’re a good egg.

First a cunt then an egg
                          Yare turning me inside out  How do I look

You look like I like you.

I like you too
               Says the cuntster to a youngster
Stop.

Ive only just begun

AMish,  Twosday,  7  9. 21
1424,  Thursday,  9  9. 21

8.9.21


it was nice having a racist in the family

someone he could beat on with words rather than his fists

there were otherscloseted to be sure but he felt if they couldnt fly their freak flags then they ought to stay in an keep their fuckin mouths shut


the racist was his father  

bitter lessons for the pair of them  

although there were times he was tempted to excuse his fathers excesses
                                                                             his fathers father was a virulent racist
during the 1919 Chicago race riots he went out and roved the city at night he was ripe for it he had returned from the killing fields of the Great War survived the Flu Epidemic surviving that shit might have suggested to even a reasonable man he was golden
                      mind and body 

it was probably a good thing his grandfather died when he was a boy older mano a mano they would have been ugly
close relatives told him he had his grandfathers temper


his father was righteouslyblatantly racist

when Obama was elected he received a telephone call from him You must be pleased, boy; you got your nigger president. he wasnt boy

when Obama was reelected I see your nigger won again, boy.

when Trump was elected he called his old man Dad, I see you got your ass wipe racist president

while those were overt major thruststhe closeted family hanging closer to the old man whose coalescence he chided Solidarność eh Coolvery cool  they were Polish they had frequent skirmishes over the years


what his old man picked at but couldnt provoke was some way to diminish or abrade or scar his belief system he couldnt understand how his son was so different from himcouldnt understand how his beliefs were steadfast that words didnt make him flinch

his father didnt follow that his beliefs werent to despise him he understood for various reasons that sometimes fathers and sons didnt mix his father didnt follow that he learned forged alloyed and hardened his belief structure
to his old mans derision he got under his skin
like scabies
              his old man got too emotional his emotions unexplained he couldnt stand being equated to blacks

 

when mitochondrial Eve was discovered to be from Africa Mankinds Cradle published in newspapersin his fathers sacrosanct Chicago Tribune We are all black formidable evidence he couldnt poopoo away he made copies of the article and on their reverse side he wrote letters to him for months

when it was discovered that people with blue eyes have a single common ancestor and that ancestor wasnt white they were likely Levantine Middle Eastern sixtyfivethousand years ago during the Chalcolithic erawhich meant nothing more than their implements were devised of copper and stone he also made a slew of copies and wrote letters on their reverse side too


though recently icing on the cake he called his father to tell him that he had watched several nights earlier HulusHBOs production of Judas and the Black Messiah  Ya know how it is absence makes the heart grow fonder anticipation ought to be savored I purposefully put off calling you The films about Chicagos Black Panther leader Fred Hampton
You remember that

I do, that nigger sold Hampton out; he was a rat.

You remember correctly

I do. You were an embarrassment. You were all about the Black Panthers, you couldn’t wait to share newspaper articles about them with me.

You remember correctly

What are you calling about?

Gotta tell yaalmost fell out of my chair Theres a scene where Hampton goes into a city bar to talk up either the head of the Crowns or the Disciplines an talkin across the bar to the brother a black cat a customer to Hamptons left leans back and takes a pull from his can of beer

 

Takes a pull from his can of beer . . I’m listening to you.

Just makin sure sometimes you tune me out wanted to make sure you heard me

I hear you more often than I sometimes care to, son.

I appreciate that Dad
                       So he takes a pull from his can of beer . .
. . You said.

I did yes
         Dad did you know that blacks in Chicago drink Old Style too Just like you Like you from Africa like blue-eyed you from Galilee
                  Don follow your hangup about black people Sometimes you act as enslaved as they were but you never were never were

Evidently some niggers got good taste.
                                            That’s what you called to tell me.
That  Anthat I love you
                        My five minutes up he laughed

Your five minutes are up, son. I love you too; thank you for calling.

Got a letter coming your way

I look forward to it, son.

Talk with ya soon Dad

We’ll talk soon, son.

 

     son
            better than boy
 
late August,  2021
1155,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  8  9. 21
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/01/080130170343.htm 


 
    they were dreams

                             not ghosts

they visited him


Please why are you hereyoure rarelyso rarely here rarely come as yourselves
                                                                                    he didnt speak

his wife his daughter  exactlyexactly as he remembered

                                                                fresh as rain   beautiful                                      

 

horrifiedhe screamed to his wifeDROP as he dropped
                                                        actions speak louder than wordsHE SCREAMED
over her shoulder out their bedroom window he saw he saw the gathered storm its brilliant lightningbolts heard its deafening thunder raindrops on the windowpanes cast black blobs on their bedroom walls instinctively he knew the storms terrible intentDOWNasif that would matter bluesilverlaced lightning ran at her rabid slivers shriekedcame on like arrowsHE SCREAMEDthey smashed the window pierced her  engulfed her
                                                                             spidery teslatentacles crackledcrawled over her  he tried to wrestle her away they snappedbit himburned himblistered his fingers and hands

she was dead again

 

his daughter blonde looked like warm powderblue freshspun cotton candy
                                                                               she was tickled she was playing with a weavecloth basket of puppies gently blowing into their smiling faces  they flinchedclosed their eyes then peeked again   

he couldnt tell her about her mother he couldnt breathe

then aware he was therewatching her she turned to him  as she turned and smiled her dimples deep she began to disintegrate
              particles escaping paleblue fireflies lazy softblue embers reaching for herdisturbing the atmosphere the fireflies and embers avoided his hands  they swirled dissipated   were gone 

she was dead again

 


   they had come as themselves

                                             he was grateful

AMish,  Monday,  6  9. 21
1147,  Twosday,  7  9. 21

7.9.21

 

 slobs  pigs  need not enter
                               they ought to have stayed outdoors  fed insects fertilised plants 

how they made it out of the stall without leaving footprints was beyond him

door says MEN 
                 this was not a man

he hoped the grocer had CCTV near the toilets to view those entered them theyre remote from usual foot traffic
                                                                                                                     if they IDd the pig they could keep him out of the store in the future or possibly charge him with vandalismhave him reimburse them for the hazmat team that had to be deployed to cleanup the vile mess
                                                                               Jackson Pollock would have held his nose tipped his hat to the orangishflecked display on the toilet the tank the tiled floor walls

he was also miffed with the little old man at the urinal when he entered who didnt wash his hands when he finished and didnt approach Customer Service to inform them prior to him of the horrid mess
                                                                                        the stink was terrible  the old man couldnt have been so myopic or his smell so diminish not to figure that something was rotten in the state of Denmark  threw him that that was a line from Shakespeares Hamlet
                                                              the ghosts would rush him and demand he take it back
hed tell the ghosts to have a look a sniff of their own before harassing him

ever seen a ghost retch


ever seen a ghost retch
                         that was not hyperbole

had he walked in as the slob was leaving the stall hed have pitched him back in and laughed as he slid and slipped asif on ice
        he grew up in Chicago  he was always humoured by the agile almost keeping their feet as opposed to those who BAMdropped like they were shot


slob  cretin   mighty sure he wasnt a congenital idiot  even an idiot knows how to use a toilet
   
after 1730,  Sunday,  5  9. 21
1152,  Monday,  6  9. 21
Commodores  Slippery When Wet  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3ZkyhEoFU8 

 

they came in through the front door up left the halfflight of steps to the living areas of a splitlevel quadruplex

downstairs was access to the garage halfbath laundry den with fireplace small studio

he lead the way

at the top of the stairs she pulled up shortlooked into the livingroom diningroom asked What the hell is this?

Whadoes it look like

Mayhem.

Stop

It looks like a Third World refugee camp.

Well I cant say the girls and I were shooting for that Be more imaginative  Use your childs brain

I’m not a child.

Too bad Maw seeing through the eyes of a child is a remarkable faculty

Then I’ll make a leap of faith, this . . menagerie . was your idea and the girls helped you execute it.

right on cue from a hole between blankets his wife rose blankets at her hips she said You’ll have to give me a moment to work my way to you, Maw, via our subterranean labyrinthine course; you like the girls' fort?

Fort?
      she rolled her eyes

Whatelse he asked This fort has endured three daysthe longest any of the forts have lasted  Fort Endurance

How am I supposed to get around?

On your hands and knees
                            Girls  Come  Follow your Mom and come loveup Gramma  give her some hugs and buzies

On my hands and knees?

When in Rome do as the Romans do

I’m not a spring chick.

Youre not an old biddy
                         I think youll be pleasantly surprised Its very comfortable Between the sofas and loveseat single seat cushions sleeping bags every freaking sheet blanket pillow in the house  the Third World would move in happily  in a heartbeat

I’ve never. she sneered

About time

You knew I was coming to visit.

Did I slew the Minotaur let blinded Polyphemus the Cyclop out though fair warning might be a few frogs we caught down by the pond over near the corner where the dining table is  The girls are excited for you to see

his wife and two girls popped up before her Hiya, Maw! GRAMMA!!
                                                                        before she hugged and kissed them she asked  You're not really going to make me crawl around on all fours are you?  
                                                                          YES!!!


Fort Endurance endured their “clumsy” Gramma their Polish Godzilla repairs were facilitated before they had to be pointed out

 


as they drove to the airport Gramma remarked I feel like a dog, a mushroom.

from the backseat came an overwhelming cry You don’t look like one, Gramma!!!

who wouldnt like a little girls fortress

2220,  Sunday,  22  8. 21
1317,  Monday,  6  9. 21
C S N & Young  Our House (Fort)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKYjUn-SBcg