there are dignitaries

                      hed heard of themhadnt met one yet though which he was sure he wouldnt   

he felt if offered an introduction hed duck it 

dignitary  

          one who if discovered might be culled out murdered thugs gotta turn out all the bright lights that could illuminate their hijinksas theyd say their crimesas dignitaries would say 

                                                                             but dead menwomen tell no tales

the indignity tarry they drag their feet looking for pityfor pittance and bitch nothing shared with them is ever enough they follow the same channel or course as the greedy more is never enough

that was a dialog inside his head  outwardly he smiled pleasantly  etched on his face 

                                                                                            he had no interest in their conversationtheir vying back and forth about cars engine sizes colours GrabberYellow he heard that  GrabHer humoured himself cubic inches horsepower scoops airfoils airfoils made him think of Asians they were very fond and since he couldnt possibly add a fucking thing to their badabingbadabooms he tried to look amused while in his head under his monologue their insipid bassline thumped yada yada yadayada over and over 

he didnt know how long he could take it

                                          like Chinese water torture that tickled him too obscured their drone  Hippolytus de Marsiliis a Bologna lawyer doctor utriusque juris doctor of both laws  civil and canon 

                                                                                    good ol Hippolytus was the first to document water torture and sleep deprivation in the late 15th early 16th Century  right smackdab in the middle of the Inquisition established by Pope Gregory  13th Century  to suppress heresy  gotta love those Catholics

apparently as kids while he read literature Playboy avoided comicbooks they were into comicsinto Hot Rod CustomCar car kulture DeLuxe

they didnt have busted knuckles 

                                   though somehow cars their specifications bodylines names the particular year tickledfascinated them

Man  all he ever wanted out of a car was to put in the key in the ignition turn it right fireup the engine manually roll his window down and go 

                        V8s Straights he could give a fuck  Lemme roll

Excuse me youll have to forgive me they didnt look at him despite the interruption I gotta go Good seeing ya

Yeah, we’ll see you later. they chimed  still intent in each other

 

beyond earshot he sighed 

                            in the future he wasnt going to entertain an interior dialog  unless they brought aboard a curvaceous chick who could be talent in a bikini appearing on a muscle car magazine cover

he was pretty sure she wouldnt be interested in cubic inches

1837,  Saturday,  5  6. 21 & 1542,  Sunday,  6  6. 21

1539,  Monday,  7  6. 21

 

he insisted he was a visual person

                                     listening to him repeat himself he wanted to interrupt and say It goes without saying and since he began bringing clipboard paper and pen to their coffeemeets couldnt called them putsches any longer the orange clown was out of officehad devised his own putsch the January 6 insurrection his visual cohort liberally exercised the pen and paper illustrating upsidedown he was quite good at it bell curves Venn diagrams graphs x- y- axes

You see? he would ask

Tell me I can see

No, you can’t really see it as I see it, if I draw you’ll be able to see it, follow me better.

Please Im way ahead of you Ill not be in your wake

Let me show yo . .

. . Brother keep this shit up Im gonna bring you childs crayons the big fat ones that any kid worth their salt was embarrassed bylike those fat pencils better for masturbating Right girls the eraser end which I believe were used to chaff incentivise us bring us around quicker to slender No. 2 Ticonderoga that the older kids the teachers and adults used

Christ who was the manic marketer who thought children were spastics lacked hand-eye coordination agility dexterity by their standardstandretard by the time boys reached high school they wouldnt be able to unhook a girls bras with one hand which he crushed in junior high anointing himselfpatting himself on the back Houdini Who Did It  Me HWDIM if prone to acronyms he was not 

currently his cohort was making a Venn diagram revealing a generous intersection between two circles of individuals who were very intelligent Genius he uttered as he drew  asif genius might be as common as a coin found lying in a grocers parking lots and Attractive

Your Venn is improbablerather impracticable These are womenright

Why would you think women?

Because only women could possibly approach the inflated intersection youve drawn

You don’t think men . .

. . No not men

You’re so abrupt, always so quick to malign men, malign them in favour of women.

Men have done it to themselves sacks of shit although now Im the one being repetitive

Repetitive?

Yah were not going there 

                           Sally forth

Genius . .

. . Is not attractive

                      Certainly not among men

There you go again.

Need evidence 

              Einstein Hawking walleyed Jean-Paul Sartre Feynmanparticularly when he needed a haircut sported a Jewfro Keep it short bro  an thats off the top of my head

Not attractive Bright Not attractivebut then again Im heterosexual You might cum down differently boy friend he held his hands upcupped gestured with his left hand boy then his right friend creating a separation so not to be confused with boyfriend which killed his cohort who was a bit of a closet homophobe they belong in the closetright which tickled him to no end asif boy friend was emasculating

Man  either one has a grip on their masculinity or not

                                                        he gripped his tightly

he snorted Idiot. This Venn isn’t of genius and attractiveness, it’s genius and athletes.

Youre the idiotthats worse its a preposterous Venn Ya labeled the circles G-E-N an A-T-T  

That’s not A-T-T, that’s A-T-H.

Pickup your pen when you print thenthat H is appalling much like your consideration to pair genius and athletes that overlap would be truly miniscule almost two separate spheres. 

                                                                  Unless ofcourse your Venn is a comparison demonstrating genius and female athletes who pound for pound are the superior sex

Jesus, man! his face was flush with irritation

Jesus is a man

Gods a woman

Gotta go gimme my pen and paper Work on your upsidedown printing yare off your game today Off in more ways than one

1550,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  26  5. 21

1556,  Reggae Friday,  4  6. 21

https://www.history.com/topics/germany/beer-hall-putsch 

https://pencils.com/pages/no-2-pencil

 

Fuck he left his clipboard at the poolby the firepit it was propane so given there were only seven people there he didnt fear someone who was inebriated would fire it up and burn his notes

                                                                         he noted he was invited to a boozy poolside party with people he didnt know from Adam by a person he suspected was setting him up 

he learned to smell one from a mile off

Come on, you’re too good to be alone.

too good to be alone

she didnt asked him if alone was troublesome if it was a gap he needed filled

he could have saved her the trouble

however

as it was

he didnt go home alone

he got laid

she was enthusiasticconvulsive tipped over Happily satiated she saidsaying before he got a chance to say 

                                                                                                              she also said she hadnt cum that hard in a long time he thought when he came hed turn inside out 

                                                                                        anif he did Fuck it hed die happy  content

he was going to be cremated anyways

undertaker didnt have to worry about correcting his inversion

                                                                Although Shit  if he knew hed die in that bed on that twisted rug and pillows in that enormous clawfoot tub on that linoleum kitchen floor he would have chosen to be buried he would have liked to watch from above not in heaven just floating around unmoored before Whatever would have liked to watch some poor bastard pulling him rightside out 

                                                     Nono stop  No feet pull  tug No boots  heels Get someone to help youJesusfuckingChrist he thought a funeral home could get good help the days of slapping camphor under ones nose were over

0057,  Monday,  7  6. 21

more than youd ever want to know about simple good oldfashioned camphor  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6270224/

 

looking at him one might think he was a brawlerhis nose crushed pushed right

thats just a look

reality is it was a mishap he took a hardball off the end of the bat in the face 

I’ll never forget the date.

Whawas the date

February twenty-eighth, Twothousand.

Why does that stand out in your head 

Or maybe it was the twenty-ninth; was Twothousand a Leap Year?

I wouldnt know

Of course you do.

Because Id lie to you about wha I don know

You know it takes slightly more threehundred and sixtyfive days for the Earth to travel around the sun.

Yes

Every four years is a Leap Year.

Yes

But not every four years.

I wouldnt know 

                 If theres a twentyninth of February Im thrilled  I don hang on itanticipate it  If its there its there I enjoy the extra day 

Well, it was either the twenty-eighth or the twenty-ninth, depending if it was a Leap Year. 

I might suggest you drop I’ll never forget the date 

                                                    Tellya wha  Ill get to the bottom of this for you    Jesus

What?

Ill get to the bottom of this   for you For you 

                                                Because I know you wont

maybe that hardball was one too many blows to his head  he was punchy

 

he remembered his mother chastising himtelling him to leave the shoeshine man alonenot tease him when she took him to the barber shop

But hes so dumb Mawso slow Im smarter than he is an Im a boy

Son, as a young man he was a tremendous fighter, a huge draw whenever he fought, but unfortunately he took too many shots to the head; he’s punchy now, just punchy.

1521,  Thursday,  3  6. 21

1214,  Saturday,  5  6. 21

https://www.nbcdfw.com/weather/weather-connection/a-leap-year-does-not-happen-every-4-years/2321237/ 

Paris bound

she said her name was Paris 

                                  off her lips it sounded audacious his mind prattled London Chicago Miami Seattle

she saidlike she was reading his mind  her mother knew it was audacious she consciously spitefully chose it After she named me, had my name committed on the live birth certificate, she gave me up for adoption.

I think she didn’t love the man who impregnated her, I am fatherless; but she loved me enough to give me away because she couldn’t raise me by herself.    

The story is my birthmother told the doctor, the nurses, appropriate staff, whoever adopted me couldn’t change my name. First, you see, she said, Paris will know they did; and when I find out, and I can, I will, if they change her name I’ll come after them, find them, and cut their heads off.

You tell them that.

It’s not an idle threat.  

Paris, obviously, will have been without a mother before; she’ll survive being motherless again.

My birthmother, I never met, although I seem to take after her. I’ve been a handful for my mother and father. They have often told me that I know too much for my own good. I remember them telling me that even as a small girl.

I was a handful.

she took the words out of his mouth  but he saidoverwriting it so she wouldnt read his mind again  she was a handfulhandfuls happy handfuls  My folks didnt tell me until I was a teenager

she mused as she looked at him 

                                 maybe she picked up on his blatant thoughthappy handfuls  overtly sexual  he wouldnt mind playing with her if she wanted  If yare reading my mind 

spookily she smiled simultaneously

Jesus Im fucked he thoughtthen he thought he heard a thought raised in his head not in his voice  Maybe.

she was still smiling      

 

he took her for a drink The Black Ram

Is this your watering hole?

Watering hole  I like ithadnt thought of it in your vernacular  Yes mebbe now that I think of it my watering hole  Have you one 

How do you mean?

Bar tavern restaurant his face screwed uppleasant confusion  Whadaya mean how do I mean

Good, on your toes, maybe you won’t bore me.

Yare not afraid youll bore me

No, I am not afraid.

her fearlessness got the better of him

                                      he got his arms around herinside of hers and hugged her tightly fullbodied

she hugged him back

Man you feel good

You feel good too. 

Whaya having this evening 

                             he got the bartenders attention sealed it hugging Paris Sammy

Sammy Joe called out she began making her way over to where they stood at the bar he liked to taking his drinks at the bar tip Sammy directly then hed take a chair a table or went out back outside where the Ram had a seating area tables under trees hanging lanterns candles on the tables nice melon coaxing  confessionallike

What should I have? What would you order me?

Id love ordering you

                         Sammy this is Paris  Paris Sammy

as the women shook hands he realised they were nearly spitting images tall athletic wellbuilt  Sammy dark Paris light

Paris, it suits you, what will have tonight?

Ask Joe, he’s ordering.

Sammy laughed she had a big laugh 

                                         Ordering?  Because he’s here he doesn’t have to breathe a word, I can read his mind.

I can too.

You can? very good. Strange place, huh?

Yes. In a word, strange.

Hey gals Im standing right here

It talks.

Sammy, I like you, I really like you; it talks.

An right off I think I like you too. 

                                   You’ll excuse me, I’ll be back

if Sammy hadnt been engaged when they met he would have made a play for her  sometimes he thought he should have  he heard her marriage lasted a year and a half two  by then they were too deep into their friendship  sex would have been incestuous 

                       but had she not been engagedmarried had they played she was an ample playgroundlikely an adventurous playmate had they played those two years foreplay would have been fierce climaxes mindblowing

There you go, kids, Joe’s patent chilled double Dirty Bird martini, three olives. Starting a tab, Joe?

Yesplease Sammy Have something on me later this evening awright Ya look parched

I might, I might, mebbe I will. 

                               You’ll have to excuse me again, gotta go; nice meeting you, Paris.

Wonderful meeting you too, Sammy.

She’s quite a girl; very attractive, dark, statuesque.

Got a head on her shoulders too this is a part time gig

                                                         When I feel Id like to have a drink if shes not here I don  Nobody makes a Dirty Bird like Sammy

It’s the secret ingredient, Joe.

Secret ingredient

Yes. Love. 

           She loves you.

We go way back 

Ah, so four words, not the standard tried-an-true three?

he smiled 

           Maybe once upon a time  My ardor was forged into adore I love her like a sister

That’s incest.

You been listening

You’re funny, I don’t have to listen; you’re an open book, you're not selfconscious, you don’t care, you don’t give a damn. 

Paris I definitely wanna get to know you better

I’d like that. 

            she held her glass up  they tapped glasses vodka bright olives greenslightly trembling  To what may come.

To unexpectedness

they sipped

             Ohshit this is delicious! This is delicious, Joe; Sammy’s a goddess.

Yah shes perfected it  but not too loud itll go to her head 

So tell me a story.

they were having a third martini 

                                  unexpectedly Sammy brought them their second and had one with them under the trees and sky My break, thought we’d get caught up, and I could get to know Paris better. she pointed at Paris I shouldn’t have a reason, but I like you.

I think it has something to do with Joe introducing us; he’s a good calling card.

he chuckled 

              Im sitting right here

Shh, Joe, Paris is talking. I like her voice, how her mouth moves.

                                                                    turning her full attention to Paris  You strike me as a woman one shouldn’t fuck with.

Sammy, you strike me as a woman one shouldn’t fuck with also.

Mirrored minds . .

. . You want to shut up, Joe; no one’s talking to you.  they said it together

Jesus Christ excuse me

Sammy said to Paris You or me?

May I?

Please.

they laughed togetherbright laughter neither covering their mouths 

                                                                      Paris said There’s no excuse for you, Joe.

Ohfunny a couple of comedians 

                                  Lemme know when I can come into the water and play Ill sit tightlisten enjoy my delicious drink

Sammy reached overput her hand on top of his Good boy, you’re such a good boy.  looking over at Paris Isn’t he a good boy?

Paris said I’m counting on it. 

                               You were saying, Sammy.

 

 

So tell me a story.

What kind of story

Intrigue. Sex. Maybe mayhem, the threat of mayhem; threats are delicious, will he, won’t he, will she, won’t she.

Elaine

Sun ray, Greek origin.

I didnt know that

Tell me something I don’t know.

Elaine 

       She was engaged to be marriednot a year out of high school A yearcouple years younger than me Id seen her around she was a looker

Blonde like me, I think.

No ones like you Yes  Blonde

Ran into her at a bowling alley her fiancé was there Those days we bet on bowling She was hanging all over him I can see his facecant remember his name now We played softball a mens league A big deal in the Midwest Some retired Major League players played in the league It wasnt for fun  It was money 

Her fiancé wanted to know what I wanted to roll a gameplay for money Elaine was making eyes at me She wasexcuse me a piece

He said a hundred dollarshe could have said two hundredthree He was a jewelerworked for his old man He was moneyed as a teenager She was attracted to money a nice piece on his arm An attractive coupletruly  though venial

I said twohunred

He wanted to see money upfront

Ya know me Im good for it 

                             Yawanna show your money

Jokingly he took Elaine by the armpushed her forward pushed her hard enoughunexpected she stumbled a bit I caught her by the ribcageshe jiggled

It was a close game I expected it to be he didnt  Lost his lead in the ninthlost in the tenth frame

I walked up to Elaine put my arm around her squeezed her firmly bunched her tits  she was too fetching

                                                                                                              Mighty sportin of ya Ive wondered what it would be like to make out with Elaine

Up for that Elaine ya worth two hunred dollars

She delivered a lecherous smile I am. Warmed the cockles of my heartdid wonders for my cock too 

                                                                                                        Which to my surprise she noticed

Of course she’d notice.

To my surprise youd notice

I would.

Ill keep that in mind

I’ll hear you.

Before we go furthur with that 

                                Lets finish this

Then well return to that 

I hadnt realised  there was a bar behind us  Id given Elaine some money to wet our whistles Id join her  at the bar were several guys who were friends of his

I was fuckin with himplayin out the ridiculous skein

He threatens mehe sets his eyes to the bar over my shoulder I could hear bar stools squeal on the wood floorpushed rather than picked up set down Who the fuck do you think you are? I'll kick your ass if you think youre walking out of here with Elaine.

You put her up you not a man of your word

I said two hundred dollars

Oh man shes easily worth two hunredI cant wait But in the meantime were having a drink a little foreplay  Youll excuse me

I turned within fourfive steps I walked through his knot of friends it was a rude pass

Elaine was oblivious of whawas transpiring 

                                               I had been jokingbut when he brought his buddies in on it I got serious  Anshe smelled awfully good I hadnt ever been that close to her

Your boyfriend lost  

My fiancé. she corrected me

Your fiancé lostlost his bet He bet you

Me?

You Instead of two hunred 

                              I asked ya if you were worth two hunred

That’s a bargain, a basement bargain. 

                                         She was peevedlooked up the alley at the congress standing at the mouth of the bowling lane

Lets drink to a bargain betcha I can make you feel you were in the penthouse

                                                                                  Had to flirt we sipped whiskysipped beer

The bartenderthe owner caught the drift he kept a couple of pins behind the bar 

                                                                                    There a problem? he asked 

I don think so

Aw, don’t have to think, there’s a problem coming up behind you.

Cant have that 

                 I turned an stood

One of the muttsI knew these guys one said You’re not leaving here with her.

Why you talking to me You her fiancé 

We’re talking for him.

Such mooks 

             Over my shoulder I said Bobby a pin please an reached back with my right Bobby pressed a cold wood pin into my hand 

Odds went upsoared in my favour They had numbers but they also had to reckon if they were the one that was going to get hurt 

         Knew Id be hurtso no matter Powerful leverage

They mulled a bit

I also knew I had Bobby on my side

They mulled then back off

When they went backup the aisle to lover boy I reached back blind and Bobby slipped the pin out of my hand

I turned back to Elaine our drinks Thanked Bobby Bought him a drink 

                                                                            Not necessary. he said

Necessity is the mother of pins Thank you  Please Bobby

Awright, if you're buyin I’m having a double, an not the cheap stuff.

If thats the case pour one for Elaine and me too please

Please, please. Elaine, this guy is so fuckin polite; what a silver tongue.

Elaine looked at me as if to ask if I had a silver tongue 

                                                          I cut her off Mine feels like mink

The clique hung out

Finishing our drinks I settled up with Bobby Elaine said she was going downstairs to her carshe drove a classic ’68 Olds babyblue Toronado sweet fuckin ride she said she was across the train tracks in the parking lot

I dug it she arrived separate from lover boy 

I guess he saw her leavethought the gambit was over 

Maybe he didnt think I could heat Elaine up or thought maybe I had I did

                                                                              He walked up beside me asked if he could buy me a drinkbuy me a drink end the confusion

No confusion I told him

Elaine’s gone.

Shes waiting for me

You think you're gonna fuck my girlfriend?

Girlfriend Girlfriend Yamean fuck your fiancée 

                                                  Im thinkin about it

Guys eyes begin tearing up 

                              Let me buy you a drink, talk about this. He choked

I don want a drink I donwanna drink with youya got your buddies buy them drinks  Way I see it you owe themsaved a couplethree of them from serious injury Im not drinking with you Im up an out of here

He grabbed me by the shirt as I turned towards himturned in between the stools 

                                                                                     He whines Shit waterworks commenceroll down onto his cheek I mean cinema quality tears on his cheeks Please, he said please don’t fuck my fiancée.

Gotta go man happy you were able to grasp the keen distinction between your girlfriend and your fiancée

I turned an left the bowling alley

 

What happened?

Ah the intrigue

                 Youll have to read my mind Paris

 

 

Paris fit well inside our small town 

                                     it really liked her presenceher aplomb Hell Sammy liked her  she was one of its daughtersborn and raised there Paris circulated its air gave it atmosphere 

                                                                               he dug her light

0749,  Twosday,  1  6. 21

1428,  Wednesday,  2  6. 21