absolute                              

                    absolutely

it started in a coffee shop

a sign hangs at eye level on the front door as you walked in No Mask No Service

he wore his in when he ordered coffee for himself and his brotherinlaw

he wore it in again to utilise the restroom

                                           he only rented coffee and beer  they passed through him like a sieve 

exiting the bathroom a little girl was fast at the door anxious to get inside 

she and her parents were unmasked

he held the door open for her

sidestepping himoblivious of him she was asking her mother why she couldnt look at the music video playing on the monitor screen fixed on the wall above and to the left of the entryway 

                                                                         Because it’s something you need not see.

releasing the door to the mothers hand he glanced at the video

a black singer

unmasked

three of them

he assumed the parents could read

the restroom door closed at his back

daddy was dressed in a black dago-T black jeans work boots his arms and neck tatted thick he seated himself at a tall café table

they made eye contact

daddy sported a closecropped scalp

he hadnt cut his hair in a year

daddy sneered

he was humoured

they disregarded each other

 

outside on the patio taking his mask off he sat down across from his brotherinlaw at a yellow café table and folding chairs

      abruptly he said JesusChrist  Republicans

Huh?

I said Republicans

Who?

Inside

Republicans?

Yabetcha   Nahstop I may have been rash   Dear Leaders   

Why do you say that?

Because they are  absolutely

Absolutely? 

             his brotherinlaw had a hangup with absolutism nothing was absolute to him

Absolutely

Why would you say that?

he iterated what hed seenexperienced inside the coffee shop

So you’re convinced they’re he sneered  absolutely sneering again Republicans?

motherfucker was conveniently deaf  Absolutely 

                                         and as he spoke the family exited the coffee shop he nodded  See for yourself anif you got a bug up your ass regardin my assessment Im happy to ask

No, I don’t need you asking anyone anything. 

they walked past them

while his brotherinlaw took in an eyeful 

                                         Yaneed me to ask

Shaddup. his face reddened 

                            his brotherinlaw didnt have a confrontational bone in his body or he didnt want to risk a fight

the family crossed the street and entered their 4-Wheel four-door white three-quarter ton Ford truck

it wasnt a work truck

he worked years of construction

he knew work trucks

this was a pretty truck

 

And

          Absolutely Republican

I don’t know that.

I can confirm

No sense stirring the pot.

Republican

Possibly.

Absolutely

I wouldn’t say absolutely.

You never say absolutely ya got a bug up your ass with anything I might possibly deem absolute

Because nothing is.

Bullshit I got your twenty dollar bill taped to glass that I beat you out of because I absolutely knew Ossoff and Warnock were winning their respective Senate run-off races in Georgia Yawanna bet another twenty Ill stop them before they leave

You’ll stop them . .

. . Yawanna test meya know I will

No, I don’t want you running into the street to stop them.

Because they absolutely are 

                               his brotherinlaw paused long enough   the truck pulled away

No. I don’t know that. 

exasperated  You certainly could have

I wasn’t going to start anything.

Nothing to start simple question Yathink theyd take exception to a question of their politics

Out of the blue?

Yes out of the fucking blue Someone asked me a question Id give them a precise answer

But that’s you.

Im like everyone else

No, you’re not like everyone else.  he was getting exasperated 

sternly  I am

 

 

later the conversation continued over a beer

he said that the Michigan state governor Rick Snyder by law had placed nearly eighty percent of Michigans black voters citizens under emergency managers his appointments which disenfranchised not only the populace but also publicly elected municipal officials  the managers answered to no one but the governor 

                                                                                           Did you know that

he did not

Synder and his clown manager poisoned Flint

they were told by local health officials it wasnt prudent to proceed with their plan to use the Flint River as their water source

they did it because they could 

So they are absolutely responsible for the deaths and future health risks for tens of thousands of citizens 

                                                                                                                An for their crimes they ought to be executed

They should be executed?

Absolutely An eye for an eye Love the Old Testament They didnt have to drink the water or bathe in it Take it personally woudja man  What if one of the children who died was yours

They weren’t.

Whaif they were

That’s a hypothetical.

Quit  Whaif one of your childrens death was attributeddirectly due to the governor and his emergency managers premeditation   Say Ohwell shit happens

I’m saying . .

. . Yare saying someone who absolutely caused your childs death shouldnt die for their crime  It happened for everyone to seewith everyone watching

 

Nothing 

Awright howbout this  epidemicide   Trump virus has killed 450,000 Americans

Absolutely

2349,  Saturday,  20  2. 21

1517,  Sunday,  21  2. 21

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/23/us/anger-in-michigan-over-appointing-emergency-managers.html 

https://www.nrdc.org/stories/flint-water-crisis-everything-you-need-know

 

he was celebrating

he didnt keep a high bar

not champagne not highend wine a beer  a beer from a local gas station liquor store

they didnt have Therapist

they didnt have Knuckle Sandwich

                                    Fuck

Lance man ya let me down  A recommendation

Sorry.

No sorry a recommendation please

Hoptologist? Top shelf.

he turned back into the cooler Deep Knee good brewery doubleIPA nine percent alcohol ah 103 IBUs he did like bitter 

done deal 

           I don like this Lance ya owe me a beer

I’ll owe you a beer.

                    Lance knew his words werent casual

but then Lance knew his shit

hed taken his recommendations in the past  he was no slough

 

he wasnt one to celebrate himself  he preferred celebrating others  his family and friends birthdays anniversaries

he did celebrate his birthdays religiously  he didnt work 

                                                            I can’t give you the time off.

You misunderstood me Im not asking  I wont be here

That’s not how this works.

I  wont  be  here   So cover your ass

That’s not how this works.

he had either hungup the telephone or smiled wryly turned his back and walked out of the office

too many people allowed themselves to be bullied

he didnt show 

Joe.  I want to see you in my office.

Be right there

 

Shut the door please. 

                       someone ought to put that lyric to music  they ought to write a melody

he shut the door because he was asked not because he wanted hed rather the other employees heard

Where were you?

Where was I when

Yesterday.

Yesterday was my birthday I told you I wasnt coming in

I scheduled you.

Im happy to hear you can admit you made a mistake

You hung your co-workers out to dry.

My coworkers knew three weeks in advance as you knew  I wasnt going to be here

Your co-workers wouldn’t have done that to you.

Have you asked them

                       Cuz if it was their birthday Id man up Thats a legitimate unpaid unpaid  I did say unpaiddidnt I day off  a day worth having not here

What am I supposed to do with you?

Lemme work Andon put me on the schedule when I tell you Im not workingI wont be here

Donbe excuse me   stupid

Na I got work to do Anything else

 

he could see they were flabbergasted

it wasnt a kind thing to see  twitchy 

                                       Youll excuse me As I said Ive got work to do

he got up and left the office

closed the door behind him

wasnt another employee who could outwork him who knew his job like he did

 

an executive once told him 

                           You know what your problem is? he loved people telling him what his problem was No whas my problem You know your job too well.

he did know his job too well

didnt get him timely raises

he had to go in and ask

didnt stop themmanagement from threatening him

he wasnt going to pull their pud

he had his own 

never did fired him 

                    but that didnt stop them from threatening

 

if they werent in the nambypamby West he would have treated them to some good oldfashioned MidwestChicago retribution 

           but they all looked like bleeders 

they wouldnt have been able to ID him

not for the hood hed wear

he would have been the shit in the Ku Klux Klan

but he liked black folk better than those the colour of his skin

he had more in common with them

2257,  Reggae Friday,  19  2. 21

 

Well I could suppose Im a bit of a Svengali he said

I don’t know what that is.

Shit he thought how am I explaining that to a neophyte an of-age nymphomaniac who hasnt scratched the surface of knowing or learning except for her most base basic desires and as shes revealed she said My desires have brought me this far. which is the foreign sedan in her name the upscale condo in her name jewelry boxes burgeoning with expensive jewelry an immense walk-in closet filled with racks of clothing shoes pegs of workedleather handbags

  again  could suppose 

                         why not test it out kick the tires   Hey   Yes?   Know this   What?   Its not wha . .

. . What you know, it’s who you know.

Well shit he thought got that nailed to the cross 

Esmeralda. 

             he could scarcely believe his ears when she said so  Agnes 

Esmeralda.

Victor Hugo

I don’t follow.

Esmeralda  nee born Agnes  a character from Victor Hugos The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Yes. I know. I saw the Disney movie.

The book

The book?

The French Gothic novel by Victor Hugo  written in 1831

A book. Sounds boring.

Okay  Whadaya think of the movie

I really liked the movie.

So why would the book be boring

It’s a book.

Ah A book I liked Hugos Toilers of the Sea Liked that he introduced octopus to the French as pieuvre which was Guernsey Norman French rather than as it was known  poulpe

Guernsey? Norman?

Guernsey An island off the coast of France Norman an ethnic group that became  nee  was from the Norse Vikings and indigenous Franks Germanic people and Gallo-Romans Gauls Celtic tribes  Normandy perhaps you might know for the beaches of Normandy where American and Allied forces hurled themselves at the Nazis beginning the end of the Second World War

No.

 

hed drop the Svengali act  though it was an interesting line

he didnt want to mesmerise her

he didnt want to have a damn thing to do with her

now she didnt have a damn thing he was interested in 

                                                           I think Ill call it a night 

Wait. I thought we were getting along so well.

So well for a bit

                 But I must say so long  Its been interesting

Has it? she brought a champagne cocktail someone had sent over to her up to her lips

I couldnt begin to explain how interesting

she smiled 

            a wide beatific innocent smile  it was truly something to behold

he wondered what shed do when it didnt work any longer

had to drop the Svengali

which was alright

it was more a gabtag

incited conversation

promoted laughter

Oh well  Oh well  Ohwell 

                            Vonnegut Dresden Slaughterhouse Five or The Childrens Crusade: A Duty-Dance with Death

A book       

0108,  Thursday,  18  2. 21

1726,  Thursday,  18  2. 21

 

lefthandedness

               either innate or it aint

of his immediate family grandparents aunts and uncles sixtysix cousins he was the only one who was lefthanded

obviously  not genetic 

                      wanna get bitchslapped suggest it

hed dare ya

his tabula rasa was scribbled all over

his memento mori -- an emblematic objet a reminder of death – misplaced 

                                                                              I swear to Christ I just set it down right here

You shouldn’t swear to Christ.

How can I say this nicely I cant Fuck you

                                             his lefthandedness was scribbled all over him

his grandmother saw it his parents and he lived with her when he was a boySHE saw it and when his mother went out his father working she bound his hand shut in a fist with torn cloth so he couldnt use it

she wouldnt say how long it had been going on when his mother came home earlier than expected and found him in the playpen bound

she would say that she was right

she said in Polandfrom where she immigrated a lefthanded child was an evil child 

Christ wouldnt even give her grandchild the benefit of just being bad  had to be evil

when he heard that story being older being incorrigible being set in stone it figuredfigured to him

he sought his grandmother

he told her he was not evil

religion casts people as Good and Evil God perceived people as Good or Evil 

                                                                                 Well Grandma I dont believe in God

Its a bunch of malarkey

his mother wanted him to apologise

If I apologise I will be dishonest So would you prefer Im a liar or an atheist

where did this nonsense come from she wanted to know

he didnt find it credible

that wasnt his word 

                     but in the so many words he used because he wasnt sophisticated yet  although he did speak better English than his grandmother  his mother followed his simple reasoning

it would have been easier had she accused his lefthandedness his separateness from virtually every child every adult around him 

                                                                                                                              he didnt met another lefthanded child until he was in high school she too was Polish they became fast friends initially by sole virtue that they were same handed

                                              then later because their sexual curiosityacuity piqued simultaneously and groping their hands didnt deflect each other they went directly at the heart of the matter 

heart was a poor choice of words

they werent interested at all in the others heart 

then losing their virginity together 

                                     all was right in the world

      

2255,  Mundaye – or not,  15  2. 21

1500,  Thursday,  18  2. 21

Sacks of semen he texted

he liked to confound his brotherinlaw

sacks of semen sounded bettermore poetic than bags of cement 

                                                                 bags of cement  boring   and besides  his brotherinlaw was a homophobe not a disturbing homophobehe had buddies when he was a boy he didnt however have boy friends

and when he delivered the boy friends line to his broinlaw  he held out his left hand and said boy  they he held out his right hand and said friend  thereby separating the nouns  and not saying boyfriends 

                                                                                          

he told him he had boy friends as a boy  as he had girl friends and girlfriends

his broinlaw had hangups of the sexual variety

                                                if talking with himventuring towards homosexuality hed stiffenup not his cock or if he waltzed on about lesbians and bisexuals transsexualsventured LGBTQ blew him up with LGBTTTQQIAA rather than its shorthand LGBTQplus he disliked acronyms or battered him with the onslaught LesbianGayBisexualTransgenderTransexualTwo-spiritQueerQuestioningIntersexAsexualAlly he actually memorised it just to fuck with him saved him however from the fullcourt press including plusPansexualplusAgenderplusGenderQueenplusBigender 

Man  the cat was uncomfortable going down on a womanflipping her overhaving at her asslicking at her perineum

So lemme ask bro  If you wont go down on a woman why should she have to go down on you

he tried shrugged it off 

                        Do you think a woman should go down on you

I think, yes; yes she should.

Why Is it her duty

I wouldn’t say duty, I mean, we’re making love, we’re having sex.

Man what a drag Its playtime babyNo holds barredNo nook or cranny overlooked unexploredDamn maybe even a safe word if yare really getting a freak on

I don’t know what you’re talking about. 

                                         he had to grant him that Yer right  Yadon know what Im talkin about

his text about sacks of semen went unanswered  

1022,  Thursday,  18  2. 21

Cat Stevens  Longer Boats  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRC8lqtBXCA 

 

the ad hoc MacGyver wick  was   overwhelmed                       

                                                            the wick     overwhelmed

      with pliers he stuck a wood match into a candle they used prior to scent the kitchen the bathroom  a waste he thought 

         Lets burn it itll perfume the room

she had purchased a hot plate to melt Yankee candles 

                                                          If we warm them, their scents will emanate, smell every bit as good as if we burned them, but they’ll last longer than if we don’t. 

he didnt want to be patronising Do we agree its a candle

No.

well that was it wasnt it   she had also bought the candles

so no quivering candlelight for him candle Nazi

 

he wanted to take a salted bath  rather his body wanted to take a bath it was achy  he supposed since he abused it for years and years it had a perfect right to turn tables on him abuse him

on occasion they had to come to terms  agreement   call a truce 

                                                                    a truce between mind and matter

the matchstick wick he fashioned was overwhelmed

he had hoped for better 

wood wasnt necessarily absorptive

though it was what he had

hed wanted to make his body happy

but it was impatient

if the candle worked and it did briefly when he got his body into the hot water he figured when it failed his body would sighmutter Whadaduck but immersed relaxing it wouldnt bitch him about missing candlelight which they werent truly enjoying because their eyes were shut

                                         Toss me a fuckin bone  

his body was kind

he could learn a thing or two from it

 

still laying in the tub he knew something a bit or two about overwhelming wicks

his body overheard his thoughts 

                                   You do? You wanna talk about it?

Yadon remember

Come on, that’s why you’re paid the big bucks.

he wasnt going to cross it

he was in a deep tub

his body could pull up his legs 

                                let him slip under gotta play the cards he was dealt he was no fool  and he was partial  he enjoyed life and living 

he said

his body listened

it was a good listener

he amused it recalled wicked moments

it conceded that his detailed memory reminded reembodiedrecalled those happy times 

call it muscle memory 

Yah muscle memory   his brain was infusedaffixed but his brain didnt fire off the ejaculations

his body was locked and loaded it fired 

                                         thrilled them both they dragged many an exhausted lover back into bed to accept his labourhis ministrations  his  Wha    enthusiasm their sensitivitytheir howledStop! and chokedhusky laughsangasps for orgasms they didnt think they had in them 

                                                                   their orgasms could try to hide from him

but it his habit to ferret them out

between 2307 and 2344,  Twosday,  16  2. 21

0048,  Thursday,  18  2. 21

 

the former presidents feral ambulance-chaser and faux-thespian accused the floor managers of manipulating evidence and blustered Falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus. he supposed the esquire was attempting to impress the Senate the learned Democrats with forked-tongue 

                                          he elaborated so anyone who didnt speak in tongues could understand

False in one thing, false in everything.

Ooooh he shivered scared the bejesus out of him

earlier this morning not long after venturing online to discover how the Latin phrase was spelled he walked to the grocer for catfud and mushrooms and beer OhMy the Wizard of Oz was never far from his mind  and as he walked he read The Terrorist Album about white South African policing violence to uphold and maintain their apartheid frankly not at remove from the Israeli apartheid government and in it he read a curious quote of Hannah Arendt Where all are guilty, nobody is.

in plain-spoken English

 

he scratched his headconfused how to equate one part All parts and All are guilty no one is

he need someone with a bigger melon that his 

                                                but to his splitpea brain similarity was present  or maybe what these quotes talked of were Absolutes one is not All guilt systematic  individual 

                                                                               and that these quotes have been devalued or should be devalued except as limning for argumentative purposes of which most argumentation is rhetorical or idiosyncratic not overarching not truly attempting to merge All or one representative of All

 

hes still scratching his head

1244,  Twosday,  16  2. 21

1116,  Ash-between-Two-Ts,  17  2. 21