it wasnt the usual  ah umm   cockblock 

                                            usually hed been cockblocked by wellmeaning girl friendsnot to be confused with girlfriends  he entertained an unseemly number of girl friends and girlfriends  he was told that was odd  which he had to disagree withrather vehemently disagree with  he preferred the company of women Women Who Run With Wolves to men  for obvious reasons and not-so-obvious reasons 

                                                                    they made more fucking sense  werent concerned about swinging their dicks  as a matter of fact he couldnt wait for them to take over the world again

The World again? 

                    he loved when people blurted that question  fucking idiots  Yah  Again

Never. You’re mistak . . 

. . An yer an idiot See  he could drop fucking so not to really hurt their feelings  look how fucking empathetic he was The Age of the Great Goddess  Marija Gimbutus  Or the Great Mother  Matrilineal leadership as opposed to patrilineal 

                                                                                                                    anif he remembered correctly it was Judaism that crushed it  Yahweh was no broad  Asherah was a broad and purged  Hierarchy was meant to be a he-thing not she-thing 

Which is too bad  We could be way ahead of where we are right now 

                                                                            I truly believe that

that said 

            it wasnt the usual cockblock

frankly it nade him laugh 

                            and he must have fallen asleep laughing

he ran the washing machine as he was laying down

fresh sheets 

             he laid in fresh sheets and they always felt insanely pleasurable to him  like comforting arms

he took to bed a casual blouse his girlfriend wore  it smelled like her  she was on a business trip

he laid down in bed listening to the white noise churning of the washer and gripped his cock with an intent to vigorously masturbate

his HUGE tom indie jumpedup onto bed  rather deftly for an obese cat  indie would challenge himhe was sure  I’m an a beast cat, Fuck. 

                 and on the bed indie worked his way up from his feet and decided to lay on himpinning his right shoulder and arm and hand  Game up!  thered be no manual diddling tonight

he slept with his head between pillows fitting  with his left he pulled his girlfriend blouse closer to his face  he inhaled her 

     Lets play in our dreams babe

lights out

1427,  Saturday – O’Biden named President-elect,  7  11. 20

https://www.biblicalarchaeology.org/daily/ancient-cultures/ancient-israel/asherah-and-the-asherim-goddess-or-cult-symbol/ 

he heard of this bakery from friends 

                                       If you’re ever in San Jose and want really good bakery goods, pies, cakes, mind you you’ll be paying a pretty penny, but as a treat they’re terribly worth it.

his girlfriend was born in San Jose

he found the bakerys address in the phonebook looked it up on a map shed go bonkers it was a mile off from the hospital where she was born 

                               hed surprise her  make a weekend of it  drive to San Francisco take in the Legion of Honor and de Young art museums  then tool down the 1 looking for a casual motel  then take dinner  in the morning theyd cross back to San Jose

on Sunday to their delight they found the bakery had a few small tables inside also served tea and coffee 

                                                                                                                Such a deal everyone he knew had a Jewishside to them

they bought a box bright pink! of sweet rolls to take with them and enjoyed a slices of pie with coffee

he took the chair facing the front door habits never die they grow old with you his girlfriend had quit fighting him for it  her chair at adiagonal faced the counter  she could see into the kitchen through large split doors their upper halves glass

the owner was as proud of his oven and flour bins and enormous baker tables as he was his productshe utterly celebrated their creation   he was also the main baker 

he brought his girlfriend into San Jose a backway to disorient her  not that disorienting her would be difficult  the only place she knew in San Jose was the hospital  she had no idea where in San Jose she lived with her parents and brother  her father was a disk jockey and personality  he would have liked to meet him but the opportunity was nonexistent  her parents suffered an ugly split and divorce  her father fell off the face of the planet  he diedshe discovered while curiously fiddling with Google 

                                                  he wondered how many times people were shocked by the death of old friends that they casuallycuriously pursued on-line  he had a share – three – they blew him up  he almost termed them good friends but had they been they wouldnt have drifted apart 

                                                                      no matter  it was Shocking

he was terribly sorry she found out on-line that her father died

they spokethey talked about the artthe canvases they saw their good fortune to have timed the trip north  the funky place they stayed  she said he had a knack for finding tacky AH  Sorry. Not really tacky; personality, motels of unique personalit . . 

. . Like us

she giggledthe giggle erupted into laughter she didnt cover her mouth 

                                                                         Yes. I suppose. Like us.

I aim to please   And surprise

You do. she reached across the table and took his hand  You do. You have a knack.

Thank you As you said a knack for tacky 

                                             the motel they stayed at when the ceiling was lighted by blacklight was adorned with cosmic swirls constellations planets gods and naked goddesses buxom sprites 

                                                                                                  an erotic glowing ceiling

he inquired the man who painted it in the 60s owned the motelrather he headed the commune that owned the motel  

each of the twelve rooms had different ceilings

they vowed to return and fuck in each room

suddenly she fell quiet 

                       her eyes filling with tears

What

she set her fork down

What is it

her eyes went between the glass counters of bakery goods and the kitchen behind the split doors

he turned on his hip

                      the women in joyous bright pink uniforms were in posturesthroes of sudden grief  they wept silently  the counter traffic had come to a standstill  some customersobviously returning customers were weeping trying to gather their witsrein in their emotions  

the pie they were eating was made that morning by the bakerys owner

they learned he had just been shot to death in a robbery  in a bank parking lot  where he was making a cash drop

he didnt set his fork down

she looked at himshe seemed to disapprove

No  he shook his head at herNo  he took a large forkful and stuffed it in his mouth 

when he finished chewing swallowing he took a sip of coffee 

                                                                 then clearing his throattamping down his upset he said If I were him Id want me to enjoy his labour his very pleasure and craft

 

0603,  Thursday,  5  11. 20

1259,  Thursday,  5  11. 20

                          Washington Posts Antonia Farzan and Rick Noack report  The United States reported 116,707 new (Trump virus) infections on Thursday

twenty states that saw their highest daily counts yet span New England the Midwest the Great Plains and the Pacific Northwest 

            the most dramatic increases over the past week included Maine Iowa Colorado Minnesota and Nebraska

deaths exceeded 1,000 nationwide for the third consecutive day

health officials worry Americans are “giving up” 

                                                       perhaps following the presidents lead

but dont ask him 

                 hes only concerned for himself right now

1100,  Reggae Friday.  6  11. 20

    O my  PA and GA counts have surged to O’Biden 

                                                         he couldnt wait to hear the presidents concession tweet

0726,  Reggae Friday,  6  11. 20

 

if the election plays out the way hes maintained hes sacrificing chickenas close to religion as he can get Democrats can cast asidemothball red MAGA caps for blue PAGA caps  hur hurhur

1609 or 409,  Thursday,  5  11. 20

$236K -- Killed

Hmm 

        on one hand  flagrant frivolous lawsuits demanded by the president of his less-than-stellar counsel  re: hacks 

on the other hand  daily new confirmed coronavirus – stop  stopstop – he has to quit with that he meant to say – daily new confirmed Trump virus cases “in the U.S. have surged 45% over the past two weeks . . . a record 7 day average of 86,352, according to John Hopkins University . . . deaths are also on the rise, up 15 percent to an average of 846 deaths EVERY DAY.”

    whichever hand is holding the death and despair ought outweigh Trumps vanityoutweigh his delusion of grandeur John Mellencamp  Crumblin’ Down  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PErUiAyVoGc

1523 or 323,  Thursday,  5  11. 20

https://apnews.com/article/election-2020-donald-trump-pandemics-virus-outbreak-public-health-0715afa39a966935fe12ea4123cf62fc

 

Well shit Im an indoor cat 

                             there was an epiphany an admission he hadnt made before  frankly hadnt thought before 

he was talking to one of his indoor cats bomber a huge tabby whichwhen he became loquacious held court as someone or several listened  he called bomber either orangemaralade-coloured or butterscotch-coloured 

                                                                                                   he was carefully careless usually concluding that foray by saying his descriptions were enticing enough to provoke himat least to consider eating bomber in other words eat pussy 

                                           that usually drew breaths

bomber had cut him off in the hall on his way from his studio to the bathroommade him short-step so he didnt either kick bombers ass down the hallway or stomp on him

entering the bathroom ahead of him bomber had jumped up onto the window ledge

Careful old man he said  then he stroked bombers chest with his right hand  

bomber had settled inwas seated and looking out the window through the screen

So tell big guytell me bomber  what are you looking at

he looked out across bombers back 

Are you looking for wee  wee was one of five feral cats who found him and he fed and watered 

he didnt see her

Are you looking for birds they were several moving in the rosemary on the grass before them looking very much like mini velociraptors  in the apricot tree 

                                  usually bomber chattered when he was spying birds or hummingbirds at the feeder  the feeder was vacant

No  Hmm   I wonder whats up with you

bomber turned his head and looked up at himlooked him in the eyes 

                                                                        he liked that with his cats inside and out they looked him in the eyes and there was no doubt that they were thinking sentient beings aware of him as they were of themselves particularly so cats  predators

Bomber you have such huge yellow eyes

bomber looked up at him awhile longer then returned his gaze outdoors

Youah  thinking  youd like to be outdoors running around Youll recall youve been outdoors and werent so keen on it You clamoured to get back in As a matter of fact you might recall I opened the door and you came in on your own

bomber was pulling his stoic act acting like he didnt hear him much like he did when someone rights his words or actions hed rather not hear it   again

I keep the windows open bomber to let the fresh air in  to let as much outside inside as I can

Yamight wanna recognise if yare yearning to be outdoors that  well yare an indoor cat he rubbed bomber chest roughly kissed his neck Yup big boy yare an indoor cat 

                                                                 he heard his own wordshe wasnt talking to himself  when you talk with an animal youre not talking to yourself

he heard himself 

                           Well shit  Im an indoor cat

cat  a jazz term he used   a cool cat

1554 or 354,  Twosday – Election Day,  3  11. 20

1059,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  4  11. 20

Tom Jones  What’s New Pussycat?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQvIAs-nPSo

$234K -- Killed

hed say this about that

https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2020/11/04/donald-trump-speech-tapper-bash-elexnight-vpx.cnn/video/playlists/presidential-election-2020/ 

                                                       in full disclosure he didnt listen to the presidents remarks  hes found that he sounds best when hes mutedhed let the commentators tell him what he said  theyre paid to listen to the malarkey

O’Biden/O’Harris are holding slim leads

his girlfriend was troubled

to allay her concerns he texted her :  : A bit humourous, however, if the worst president in history were to win re-election – Black Humour Matters

0839,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  4  11. 20

 

he hated when he got ahead of himselfit was unlike him

                                                            he dreamed of a lactating womanhe would  he had sixty cousins was from the middle of the pack and several of his eleven aunts or mother were usually pregnant  thats what Catholic gets you  unprotected sex and Gods abundance 

                                                            because without God his mother and aunts wouldnt have gotten pregnant God the Eternal middleman doling out motile sperm and whorish ovum 

                                                                                            No thanks hed have children when he wanted to attempt to have them

he had two 

             that he knew of

 

this galGloria lactated something fierce La Leche League-ish or really Lacation Matters-ish  Black Lives Matter and then the butthurt assemblies whofor whatever reason HAVE to announce that they Matter too 

                                                                                              Thank You they could get in line and blow him 

                       but he digressed

she would pump at work and before heading out to donate she stopped off 2 – 4OZ bottles with him or at his cubicle the two of them freaked out their coworkers those who didnt like it said so which as he put itas he appreciated that they shared their unsolicited opinions a preamblehe explained  for his cool blue acknowledgement and reply  Fuck you Like I care what you think 

                       he should have had it made into a bumper sticker a thousand years ago or a pin to wear on his lapel rather than an American Flag

he had conferences with superiors for his frankness 

                                                        he had longhand for it: fuckrankness  they reeled his anodyne  he wouldnt have said what he did if he hadnt been provoked  Yaknow Cause and effect   I know yaknow

his personnel jacket as he was told by his last superior in hierarchy-only was blue and he frankly couldnt understand how it was he hadnt been fired numerous timeshe emphasised numerous

ofcourse he had to reply Probably because I call horseshit horseshit 

                                                                           but he digressed

he loved to digress a drug  an Alice in Wonderland rabbithole

ANYWAY 

           Gloria finally appeared in his dreamsas his gals eventually did she was one of three lactating friends and as it turned out she was only one of the three who he was able to allow her to nurse him

this dreamas dreams should  was over the moon and lingered in his eyes after he woke  throughout the day his cock reminded him Hey man that was a crazy dreamhuh you two were insane 

                                                                                he liked the occasions his cock kicked in its 2cents  kept his blood flowing 

                                    but he digressed

 

as he said he hated when he got ahead of himselfit was unlike him

                                                                        because his dream preemptedby three days  an uexpectedutterly astonishing episode or soiree of quarantine porn that exhibited lusty busty Asian lesbians  one who was lactating

how the hell does one get out ahead of that

                                            that was rhetorical 

2143,  Monday,  2  11. 20

1549,  Twosday – Election Day,  3  11. 20

Them  Gloria  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDo-GA1hLk4 

Lactation Matters  https://lactationmatters.org/2013/06/18/how-to-become-a-human-milk-donor/

 

whos watching this 

is it Me

                            or me 

Me is He is who I am when Im not me 

                                         annot me            rather   Me

I know you know what Im talking about

                                       I am not convoluted nor distorteddeluded  I am who everyone is if theyre honest 

Who knows what . . . lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows! 

 

                                                                                 a shadow lurks in all of us

 

she decidedon her own that she was going to breastfeed his favourite meal their child to her husbands dismay 

breastfeeding she became susceptibleshe was susceptible  because her husband began ignoring her for her motherhood

forgetting perhaps

                      that he was responsible

Stupidstupid man

he left her to her devisesto what she hadnt imaginedhadnt given a thought toto her desiresher longing to be fulfilled

Stupidstupid man

she was rare earth

she was diamonds

how could he miss that

 

he bought a plasma screen for their livingroom before the baby was bornsecretly he didnt want to risk losing it to the baby if he waited its images were life size  she found it intimidating  characters on it seemed there in the room with her

she said so

            Don’t make me laugh.  he said

No. They make me feel uncomfortable.

You’re being ridiculous.

My discomfort is ridiculous?

Yes.

Oh. That makes me feel warm and fuzzy.   You want to know what else is ridiculous?

Please.

It’s ridiculous you bought it without talking to me first.

I’ve always wanted one, you’ve known that; so I pulled the trigger.

I would have thought you would have been more considerate, that you would have asked me what I thought.

It was a great sale price, I saved us lotsa money.

You would have saved us more by not buying it.

he reddened he thought She pregnant.  he answered But I did.  then he left the room She can stew for all I care.

Hey. Hey! she cried after him  HEY!  We’re not don . . 

                                                          she heard the back door open and shut   the car started

 

the screen had on-line access You don’t have to leave the livingroom for your computer if you don’t want to, it’s right here. thats what he said when he honestly tried to sell her on it . . after he mounted it while she was out

 

 

she lactated prodigiously

her mother had too so she suspected she might

she fed the baby and then used her pump to express her milk

she had left the cable on

he was onscreen as she stood and left the room to lay the baby down

she was so engrossed feeding that she didnt notice him watching her

he had watched her before

when she left the livingroom he excused himself  Where are you going? his onscreen love interest asked him  he had disrobed her according to script and held her from behind

Ill be back a bit he walked towards the screen

I know what you’re doing, you shouldn’t do that.

he paused  turned aside  You should say I shouldnt do that . . again  then turning back to his intention he looked down to make sure he wouldnt upset or step on anything in the livingroom when he stepped out

as he went out he said  Ya oughta give it a go Lee  Its intoxicating 

                                                                      he didnt wait for her replyif in fact she said anything

 

he crossed the threshold which led to the hallway where she had taken the baby he could hear her straightening up  Ah  gathering up laundry

on the wall diagonal from the screen where he crossed was a large recliner  behind it an ample bookcase  between the recliner and the hallway entrance were several tall potted plants

he sat in the recliner

looking on the screen he saw Lee had come up to the screenplaced her hands on it  pressed her breasts ever-so-slightly against it 

he saw the screen ever-so-slightly bulge beneath her pressure

Lee looked at him

he beckoned her

his beckoning was interrupted by the woman who crossed between themher blouse still open from nursing in her right arm she held some baby laundry a lavender onesie slipped its place and fell on the hardwood floor before the screen

as she began to lean to retrieve it her eye caught Lee at the screen she halted   then stood erect

from the side her attitude betrayed her interestcuriosity at the naked woman on the screen

she dropped the laundry stepped to the screen  she placed her hand on the screen opposite Lees

she wasnt startled when Lee intertwined her fingers with hers  and as Lee emerged through the screen she helped her step down

Lees handthe back of her hand brushed the womans nipple milk budded  Lee hand continued inside her blouse and held her by her ribcage

in that attitude Lee stepped closer  intimately   delicately she placed her nipple at the womans  they both sighedsighed like the breath of a soft wind through Fall maple sapling leaves

the woman leaned in as Lee leaned in and they kissed furtivelyunsure  then surety aroused them and they kissed deeplypassionately  hands greed  grateful

he could smell the warm milk

he rose from the chair

                      he wanted to get in on the action himself  

 

for Lees first time out she was marvelouspossibly magnificent

early AM,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  28  10. 20

1203,  Moanday,  2  11. 20

The Monkees  (I’m Not Your) Stepping Stone  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCM7qcRyfKo 

Stones  She’s Like a Rainbow  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoPg4sxeiDU

 

Nature’s Basics almonds

tasty

he fingered the single-serve packagesingle-serve always pissed him off  Net Wt: .75 OZ (21g)  Oforcryinoutloud  yakiddinme

his granddaughter looked up at him from her lunch 

                                                       What’s that, Grampa?

O nothing sweetpea

Certainly sounded like something.

Awright  Yaknow what an epiphany is

No, Grampa.

I had an epiphany

What is an ei . . epie . how . . how’d you say it?

Epiphany

Yeah, what you said.

Ill write it down for you after lunch and you can ask your parents

Okay, Grampa. she was happy to return to her lunch he had interrupted her

 

.75 OZ 21g meant an ounce was 28g   simple  fucking  math

why didnt he know his simple math when he was in college selling grass and hash escaped him he weighed 30g on his scale and called it an ounce

his grass didnt have much in the way of stems or sticks 

                                                           to be fair he typically sold hash 1g at a crack

meybe theyhis customers supposed he was . . generous he did have steadfast legions he may have been short on occasioncouldnt dole an ounce but he always sent them off with a couple of joints on the house 

they never jumped ship

hell of a time to learn an ounce was 28g as a grandparent 

                                                              but he might pat himself on the back having slippedescaped those Miami Imaim days intact  come out of them in one piece  beat sand out of his trunks before cocaine chemicals pills became the rage  business got ugly  businesspeople got greedy  sometimes only blood satisfied it

he liked high 

he didnt like addictions

meybe why he didnt smoke cigarettes

away from grass and hash he sipped beer whisky and if he really wanted to treat himself he made a mean spicy Bloody Mary 

       ifya didnt get wet in the armpitssweat at the temples or brow he missed his mark

to its credit alcohol seemed to dissolve the metal fishhooks and wire threaded through their eyelets on which his emotions were suspended above hot coals 

                                           the metal melts he drops bodily onto the coals and ash and crushes suffocates themYah  his skin blisters  tepidly flesh roasts   he scars  but Ah  it was nice to be downto slip the tenterhooksslip that which existed only because he allowed it

because 

          their choice seemed right or appropriate

he was hotwiredwas wetsealed with emotions

 

sometimes we need our distance from them

 

they can be implacable  tyrannically

 

we need our room

our space 

             from ourselves

 

1302,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  29  8. 18

1209, Sunnyday – saved an hour,  1  11. 20

Emerson, Lake and Palmer  Welcome Back My Friends  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VsifANR96s 

Grateful Dead  What’s Become of the Baby  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucpd33MPMyg 

 

 

he was going to Chicagoland to be with his sister

she was dying

his brother-in-law called and told him to comeNOW. Yesterday.   I’m sorry.

the plane was in a holding pattern over Lake Michigan

he looked out the cabin window

he spied the evening star

                                             he spied the moltenred  purpling    sunset

the evening star

the sun setting

Will we go round in circles he said to himselfqueued it in the MP3 player he borrowed so he could listen to music while reading during the long flight Im tryin baby Im tryin Just our luckhuh

the craft tipped at a fifteenmaybe more degree angle he was tipped up and looking down around the wing black Lake Michigan then an artificial aura then an amberlighted cityscape a grid eerie spikes of highrise building lighted spokes running away to the suburbs a diminishing aura the black lake again

he didnt see other aircraft lights either above or below

he was being to take it personal 

                                 the airlines purposefully fucking with him 

finally the cockpit a twatpit wouldnt have fucked with him came over the PA and announced they were cleared to land and were beginning their descent into O’Hare 

                                     they neglected to advise the cabin how late their arrival was

 

Will we go round in circles

he only had carry-on and made a beeline to the cab stand  

the driver advised him that he was going to pay a premium if he took him outside his consigned area

Drive

a ninety dollar ride  not even a kiss    he didnt tip him

he piled in through the front door as his brother-in-law opened it

his sister was comatose a couple hours

their last words were during a phone call on the weekend

she cried 

            I don’t want to die.

he anguished and wept too 

                               I dont want you to die

they listened to each other cry

 

the last thing they said to each other 

                                        I will love you forever 

Circles

1810,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  29  8. 18

1422 or 222, Saturday – Happy Halloween,  31 10. 20

Billy Preston  Will It Go Round In Circles  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFHMdY9HijM 

Big Head Todd and the Monsters  Circle  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZyT5IugA0A