. . . all belligerent and convinced
of their own uniqueness
Ellroy The Storm
thats somethinghuh speaks for more than a few
it was appropriate he set
his sights and wrote it on a piece of paper paper stained by white tea
he needed something to write on the pages above it were ruinedhe
hated to see paper wasted
he worked his way down through the
ruined pages until he found the first page that might holding his ink without
being shredded by his pen thrusts and lashings
he wrote on it while it was still
damp avoiding those portions which might not have withstood his penpoint or its torque torture
the page was worth its rescue he
hoped his words alike
the clutch of pages had white tea
“accidentally” dumped on them
accidentally was happening more and morehis granddaughters assigned
accidentally to everything they did wrong or ruined
attention
they wanted attention
he understood that
but he couldnt tolerate
it
children or notthey werent stupid
children
if stupid hed be more tolerant
the pair prefaced all their errorsall
their wrongs with I accidentally
no they admitted they werent thinking
although they thought enough to ruin each others things or other peoples things
It’s not mine unsaid
was I don’t care
his daughter and her husband
called their actions mischievous
as
though the word ameliorated their actionsthat their angel-wings wouldnt be
trimmed
hed have hacked them off
at their backs
he wasnt so kind
did his daughter forget
she didnt have that leeway
or was this one of those things that a child learns growing up feeling affronted by their parents swearing if they had
children theyd never suffer their children in kind
WHA A FUCKIN EXCUSE
his daughter and soninlaw didnt admit
it
they allowed “accidentally” lock
stock and barrel
as if it was magic
it was reminiscent of his youngest
daughter wanting him to allow I didn’t
do it; my brain did.
which he immediately dumped back in
her lap like a hot shitNah Your brain is you It isnt a separate entity You can think what you like but whatever you
do your actions your brain does Im hanging
around your neck
she looked in his eyes
he had taken a
knee as he always did so they were eyeball to eyeball so they engaged on the same playing level
That’s
not fair, Papa.
Good lesson Life isnt fair
he sighed
Im running through my head all
sorts of other recriminations make you
wear a wood shingle around your neck defining your error carve with a knife or burn with a hot iron into
your forehead Nathaniel Hawthornestyle a
scarlet letter
he was being extreme ridiculous hyperbolic
he understood that everyone is and should be
agog of their own uniqueness
that everyone was created their molds smashed never to be replicated forever unique definitely unique
but unique isnt necessarily a
good thing
no matter how one feels about it
accidentally
they werent his children to raise
he raised his right or wrong
and always advised them as they were growing up that every decision he madetheir
mother madethey made together was made
out of love
1657, Monday,
20 1. 20
1117, Reggae Friday, 29 5.
20
