if anyone reading wrioter is graphically-inclined love love love graphic please sketch do a caricature make a drawing https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=WzHp_Rb3vCw Simon Says feel freefly your freakflag do up an image of Donald J. Trump crucified

                   he was quite sure Trumps feeling crucified

he was an idea-guy  if he could draw he wouldnt wriote

1508,  Thursday,  10  10. 19

The Beatles  Girl  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8l3ntDR_lI

they had lost  a step

                   a year apart can do thata year apart can do worse  it is inevitable

what remains to be seen is if it can be regained or if the new gait replacing it is tolerable

or if the gait is a matter of walking separately 

in other directions

change is inevitable

how one handles it is personal

                                 personallyhe was told and he was water flowing over and between rocks fallen trees broken limbs uninhibited  to be inhibited invites stress and he refused to let stress mediate his life  where he brieflyviolently made his mind known were eddies  then he spun out of them as quickly as he entered and continued to flow

   

0637,  Thursday,  10  10. 19

1059,  Thursday,  10  10. 19

Jane Silberry  Callin’ All Angels  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9FW1N2FR_w

bedfellows

Ah  new bedfellows

                     Erdoğan dont call him presidenthes a dicktator and Putin dont call him presidenthes a dicktator are attempting to carve up the Kurds in Syria with President Trumps dont call him presidenthes a wannabe unilateral asinine toss-of-the-dice decision  if it was a gut feelinghes got ample gut might wanna call him a bucket of guts

however this horrid abomination shakes out  should it play out in the manner its began  if Erdoğan and Putin are tucked awaysnuggled up to their chins in bed

                                               inevitablyeventually

one or the other will flip and try to stab the other in the back  as Trump has stabbed the Kurds in the back

the Kurds werent at Normandy? 

FUCK Trump wasnt eithernor was he in Vietnam

                                                    wannabe  wannabe   wannabe 

a pansy through and through

1140,  Thursday,  10  10. 19

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/trump-syria-flip-greenlights-turkey-russia-on-kurdish-slaughter-70962245513

The following message has been brought to you by the bought-and-paid-forthe KREMLIN-approved Donald J. Trump:

"Everything to me is about corruption . . . I do care about corruption . . . Corruption . . . Corruption . . . We are looking for corruption . . . Tremendous corruption . . . Beyond corruption . . . We are looking at corruption . . . So again, this does not pertain to anything but corruption, and that has to do with me; I don’t care about politics, I don’t care about anything, but I do care about corruption.”

http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/under-scrutiny-for-corruption-trump-blurs-meaning-of-corruption-70829637561?cid=eml_mra_20191008

Ladidah ladidah ladidah

                            hes sickened because elsewhere around the world mistakenly hes assumed to be represented by President Trump who brays like an ass

Trump couldnt reflect his positions if Trump were a mirror  

1433,  Thursday,  10  10. 19

Harry Nilsson  Coconut  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsSuueEGQSM    

What was that

he was shaving

he jerked what he didnt hearheard made him nick his throat

he didnt bother with the woundthe blood Whawazat he set his razor down left of the hot water porcelain knob  he stepped into the hall What was that he calledhe knew his wife was in the livingroom 

she didnt answer

Hey What was that

she still didnt answer

he went up the hallbled on the runner over the hardwood floor

she was sitting on the sofa her back to him

What was that baby

What did you do

she didnt acknowledge him

he walked left around the sofa arm and stepping before the slender coffee table littered with empty Diet Pepsi cans a circular tin tray of her medicinal brown vials and bottles he accused her What did you do

she raised her eyes to him asif he were dreamed

they shined

he couldnt see inside them

he couldnt see inside her huge brown eyes which turned people inside outmade them submit to her will

they didnt turn him

                     from the get-gotheir first date he acknowledged her eyes You might be able to make other people jump through hoops but I aint jumping If thats a gamebreaker say so  Im just being honest with you If we have a second third other dates youll learn this about me Im honest to a fault

he couldnt see into her eyes

Nothing. she replied I haven’t done anything.

he wanted to call her a liarhe wanted to ask her to swear it swear it on their childrens heads

she had never lied to him before

she never lied to him to save an argumentdisagreement of which they had many which all couples had to contend with 

he wouldnt have pulled back from a disagreement either

she often told him that his honesty verged on crueltyhe didnt spare her pain

That I should lie spare you the discomfort of being truthful

You could be gentler.

You could challenge me softer.

Im not challenging youwere in this together When I ask you for your thoughts theres nothing for you to be guarded against  Say how you feelwhat you think Be honest

eventually she was honest  forthcoming

she acted like he was going to punish her 

he wondered about her upbringing

but her motherwho he would trust was dead 

he wouldnt trust her father any further than he could throw him 

her father had agendas

children arent raised by agendas his adult children didnt have to respect his agendas but all his in-laws did

Fuck yer old man

That’s my father!

Youre an adult Hes your father in that you grew up in his house Aint living there no moreare you 

Respect runs two ways He doesnt respect you

He’s my father.

she never lied to him

You didnt do anything

I did not.

So Im hearing things

I don’t know what you heard; or thought you heard.

I dont either But it was something

Maybe it was nothing; it was nothing if you don’t know what you heard.

It was something

I didn’t hear what you heard, I didn’t hear it.

You didnt

I did not.

leaving the hospital  after a long night a long morning a long afternoon the onset of another long night

after she died

he understood she lied to him

0843, earlier,  Twosday,  1  10. 19

1604,  Saturday,  5  10. 19

Wings  My Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA9XLa2ARfs       

he still had three hours on the road ahead of him

two were behind him

no radio

no cassette player

no heater or air or defroster

the 4Runner had 352,296 miles on her

if she was a he he wouldnt have gotten close

what goes for people went for vehicles

she was his delight  

she was what anyone could hope for and was closer to pure functional transportation than he had ever known

when he came up behind her he rubbed her left rear bumper Hows my girl once inside her he rubbed her dash to the right of the steering wheel Digger Youre such a beautiful girl   inside two years shed be his longest relationship with a woman outside his family                                       

that truly tickled him

his brother-in-law called Digger his Zenmobile he knew that inside her he wouldnt suffer any distractions and often saidmarveling Sometimes I think you don’t need a soul, anyone; you’re so damn self-sufficient.

Thank you hed reply

two and a halfhours into his ride he laughed outloudsaid Its a good fucking thing Im good company or this ride would be hell

on the roll his only dismayterrible distractions were his hatred of seeing the destroyed animalsearthlings along the side of the highway or smashed unrecognisable on the pavement

                                                               particularly raptors the owls hawkstheir majesty turned on its head  a bird killed by a car

they looked like crushedragged featherdusters a ruin of fibrous cloth hardly ever a trace of blood  unlike the squirrels and skunks and possums raccoons cats and dogs deer  fawns

                                                                   the raptor collisions with highspeed cars popped them like balloons their blood misted the night air  and quit

2117,  Monday,  30  9. 19

1349,  Saturday,  5  10. 19

The Beatles  Nowhere Man  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8scSwaKbE64  

walking by he briefly overheard thembriefly caught part of their exchange

it astonished him

it wasnt often he heard it on the street  not often he heard men talk of rapture    

almost physically he had to resist his temptationdesire to interrupt them to tell them explain that they mistook what one said he saw

it wasnt His Light

Blight

       blight   Gawds Bright Blight

if someone had been watching him they might have noticed a catch a hitch in his gittup  almost checking a step to stop to tell them what he thought Ha solicit  he disliked solicitors

                                                                   if someone were watching

Yeah, man, God touched me this morning. His Holy Light filled my head, shined in my eyes, it blinded me; I was ecstatic.

Bless you, brother, that’s remarkable! How very fortune, your words uplift me . .

Keep walking keep walking  keep walking forward . . 

                                                            he lost their voices in the sounds of traffic

they were homeless men standing behind a metal and acrylic-paneled bus stop in shabby clothing the second man was much olderhe had a cane wrappedbarber-poled in white tape that was filthy and unraveling

as he walked he wondered why Gods Blightwhy God sought to infect the needywhy they seemed susceptible perhaps the wealthy who embraced Him were held up as artifice to what God might provide if He deemed someone worthy Pray for goodness, children or perhaps what the brothers behind the bus stop bought into was verse Matthew 5:5  Blessed are the meek; for they shall inherit the earth.

that might be hogwash

this brief Anthropocene is seemingly feathering outgiving way to something new new need not be better the Meek? maybe the bus stop boys assume they represent the Meek maybe they are

                                                                         or maybe the Meek are insects  maybe what the Anthropocene is giving way to is The Age of Articulating Cockroaches

Gawds Brilliant Blight

                        or Gawds disturbing sense of humour  

same Actor whoif one is religious  mightshould question why He  The Beneficent  allowed the Armenian Genocide the 1918 Flu Pandemic Holodomor Stalins Ukrainian famine Hitlers Holocaust Pol Pots Cambodian Killing Fields  and those before   and those after and to come

the homeless man was blinded by The Light

Blight can blind too

1404,  Sunday,  29  9. 19

0948,  Friday,  4  10. 19

1211,  Saturday,  5  10. 19

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band  Blinded by the Light  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVOvNZxS7vA

They never go clockwise.

                           that was his daughters observation of her daughters

something he saw but hadnt said anything to her yet

                                                        Yes Round and round counterclockwise

Always counterclockwise, no matter what they’re doing; skating, scooters, chasing each other.

Probably a good thing otherwise the collision might be horrible Broke my nose the first time running clockwise to my buddy Ricks counterclockwise sprint  I fared better than Rick I knocked him unconscious concussed him  We didnt hang out afterwards

Well, there’s that.

the girls squealed going round and round on their scooters

Ten more laps, girls, then inside for a shower.

Aawh! A shower?! they chorused

A shower.

They dont like showers

They’re like a couple of boys, tomboys; you’d think they thought they were going to melt, you know, like the Witch of the West.

she winked Who likes stinky girls, right, Dad?

he laughedshe joined in the hilarity with himher dimples dimpling beautifully  he was jealous of her dimples  she had her mothers dimples  he was jealous of his wifes dimples but ohsovery grateful both his daughters had them  their smiles and laughter always returned his wifes face to him   

their hilarityconcurrence was due to many years ago when he was potty-training her and stressed how necessary it was that she cleaned herself very well after using the toilet

she told her grandmother after using the bathroom that she made sure she cleaned herself because her daddy didnt want her to smell like a dead fish

that ticked his mother What a thing to tell a little girl; that’s horrible.

No  Whats horrible is a girl a woman smelling like a dead fish Dont tell me I know firsthand Scrub her downrub her downturn her inside out  Elton John Evidently he ran into a few himselfWhew Puts ammonia to shameon noticetheres a new sheriff in town WHEW  Nasty

You’re ridiculous. You’re ridiculous and aw . .

. . That stinks awful  You dont get to tell me what I know almost broke my neck

their laughing deepened they were on the same channel I don’t know if I told you, but I’ve told the girls that story, and their fastidious about their bathroom habit. I think it’s due to what you told me when I was a little girl.

Ah this is the first youve said which frankly makes me proud Seems Ive crossed the generation gap in fine style

he laughed again  she laughed with him not covering her mouth

if she wasnt his daughter and married he would have pursued her

1712,  Monday,  16  9. 19

1644,  Friday,  4  10. 19

Elton John  Dirty Little Girl  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj6lFN9YHW4

fueled on black coffee  whiskee   imaginee Why not nobody was lookin over his shouldernobody could tell him what to dothey tried they had not been successful  they did not make good arguments to support their demands 

an unsupported demand is shit 

smelled of when his parents used Because.

Why 

Because.

Because isnt an answer Youll have to do better than thatdig a little deeper  because Because dont cut it

he was their eldest

the eldest of eight

he held their feet to the fire by the time he was nine

he blew up their parental honeymoon

they had to contend with their middle management now

                                                            and middle management was no pushover

maybe if their Number-Two son was head of middle management

but he wasnt

he was a disinterested second in the food chain 

he was disinterested because their Number-One son crushed him

                                                                     even when he was fresh out of Marine boot camp a trained killer his brother crushed himturned him upside down in the front yard before the neighbourhood and pounded his skull in the grass until he was unconscious it was the third time his brother knocked him out  his brother dearly appreciated his determinationhis balls if it were war his brother would have killed him  solution   solved

instead Number-Two was always to be in his brothers shadow 

                                                                  that long early morning shadow  every day

Ahwell he thought his brother Number-Two could try again any time he wanted

                                                                                    any time he wanted

though if his brother was smart he would have shot him in the head from behind

when he sued his employerwon his lifetime workmans comp he thought his exemployer or workmans comp would have shot him in the back of the head cowardly but effective  but they didnt

                                                                              they werent smart

he was smart

if he was his exemployer workmans comp he wouldnt have quibbledwouldnt have been squeamish  he would have shot him in the face 

                lotsa luck ducking or diverting a bullet in midair

where did that come from 

he had no idea

it was the way he thoughthe worked

the authorities still hadnt found the head and hands of the psychiatrist who prescribedkilled his wife

the psychiatrist had an ugly record

reprimands hadnt changed him

the psychiatrist was a cold case  unlikely to be reopened

                                                              they knew when to say Buhbye

1322,  Thursday,  3  10. 19

                cops

                                “ . . one of them brought his knee up into my groin and I bent over and someone kicked me in the side of the head and said, ‘You dirty cop-killing rat.”

   he paused a momentclosing the book Black Wings Has My Angel on his finger so not to lose his place  what a place

there was a ticking in his ears the gears in his brain working  he knew that it like a carnival Fortune Telling Lady machine was gonna lay something on him whether he wanted it or not because he dared to think or slipped it a thin dime

the ticking finally quit it took over his mouth he said out loud  Why is it when a cop kills someone theyre referred to as officer or policeman not a dirty nigger-killing rat  a dirty white-killing rat any-ethnic-killing ratWHY why are they granted the benefit of doubt when they take it upon themselves an deescalateexecute with a bullet

because the Court has their backs

their Union has their backs 

they feared for their life 

                       maybe they dont think the person they killed feared for theirs or they dont have to think just react to their fear

thinking goes against command

                                  a commandment evidently punishable by death if someone doesnt immediately-or-sooner do what they say  a reverse Mother-may-I  they ice you if you move if you shudder if you run for your life  a soul aint been born who can outrun a bullet

dead men tell no tales

That?  I forgot to turn my camera on. the benefit of doubt

1400,  Monday,  23  9. 19

1154,  Thursday,  3  10. 19

revisiting Frantz Fanons words from The Wretched of the Earth

cunts yammerings yesterday 

                               “ . . the impervious being crazed by his absolute power and by his fear of losing it, no longer remembers clearly that he was once a man . . .”

1210,  Thursday,  3  10. 19

hed never been in Nebraska before

earlier he confused it with Kansas  Yaknow  where Dorothy grew up

his brother-in-law looked up from the road at him as he drove What?

The townmaybe  never said where Dorothy was from  An Toto too

What are you talking about?

Dorothy Toto  

This is Nebraska, not Kansas.

Huh

We’re in Nebraska, not Kansas. his brother-in-law acted like he was trying hard to suppress his amusement

Yah Right  I knew . .

. . Knew it, yet you said.

You said it out loud.

Hey Excuse me all to hell If I gotta suffer me so do you

Listen. We’re gonna be in Nebraska for a long while, Joe; we just got here. Any other gems or pearls of wisdom you want to share so they’re out and we can put them to rest. I’m pretty sure I can help you with that.

Youre pretty sure because theres only you and I

Yes. Might get pretty ugly.

You might wanna pause an recall I live in Califormiahave lived there longer than anywhere else Ive ever lived Im a stranger in a strange land

You copping Heinlein’s line?

Youve read Heinlein I thought you were a King freak

Stranger in a Strange Land was seminal. I couldn’t have gotten out of high school, hung with the friends I had if I didn’t read it.

The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings were my crosses to bear Havent read fantasy since  Howbout Huxley

Huxley?

The Doors of Perception William Blake

No. No.  That was tworight two Nos I should have uttered, correct?

Correct A Blake line suggested Doors to Huxley I believe The Doors took their nameMorrison suggested it from Huxleys work . .

. . I didn’t like The Doors . .

. . Wha . .

. . Or Hendrix

Stop Youre blowing my mind

Wait wait one second  We are seven years apart

No wonder you dont appreciate good music

                                             he smiledtook a gander at his brother-in-law his brother-in-law eyeballed him Pay attention to the road  

Kerouac

What?

Kerouac

When you belch you’re supposed to say excuse me.

Fuck you

You are seven years older. Maybe courtesy wasn’t taught then.

Or maybe its the sheer flatness of Nebraska robbing me of my senses Great place to set pins along the side of the highway and bowl or dig holes and shoot a fine game of pool

I think you’re thinking of Kansas, ha.

No no There a tornado would come alongfuck with our game an snatch us off to Oz  Then Id be forcedhave to live in colour  not black and white

Jesus. You’re tough to follow; live in color?

Yah I didnt see The Wizard of Oz in colour or know that Oz had been shot in colour until Eightysixeightyseven I saw it with the girls Nearly shit Shithell nearly panicked

Eightysix or seven? Are you fucking kidding me?

Dont Im confidentyou as an only child had all things top of the line There are benefits to wealth that you take for granted

Im not jealous

I dig there were things I didntwe didnt have

Character?

Pardon me

I meant to suggest that not having things built character.

Ohshit youre smarter than I thought

the highway was long and flat and straight

Whas that

Huh?

There Kum & Go  A filling station

Yeah. Kum & Go’s are all across Nebraska; like, ready to have your mind blown again? Sinclairs. The green dinosaur . .

. . Are you messin with me

No.

Kaahrist I havent seen a Sinclair gas station since I left Chicago

That’s been a long time.

Yes 

Not that I miss them Just that they invoke wonderful memories invoke my boyhood

Kum & Go I like it

What the hell Git & Go

Yeah, another gas station chain.

Kum & Go Git & Go

There.

Wha

There. he pointed Hy-Vee. Groceries.

Or there, Caribou Coffee; they closed up in Illinois. Nice to see them out here.

Kum & Go Git & Go Hy-Vee  Interested in going into business with me

What are you talking about?

I think we ought to open up houses of prostitution Kum & Gos Git & Gos Hy-Vees youd wanna fuck a high-V rather than a low-V yah

You’re nuts.

Are you kiddin me Ive never been with a pro but if she was working for a house called Kum & Go sureasfuck Id be more tempted Git & Go  Are you kiddin me  

Beside since Nebraska is so damn flat Ill be calling it Ne-ska from now and forwardhere on out 

Wont call it by its proper name again until Ive put the bra back into it  Running pros with ample titshuuge tits 

Im tellin ya Its a game changer

You’re crazy.

Im brilliant

Theres gold in them thar hills them tits 

Ne-ska  Makes me blue

I could help

0817,  Thursday,  29  8. 19

1224,  Sunday,  29  9. 19

The Mickey Finn  Garden of My Mind  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSKI6BzMWdQ

Beatles  Yer Blues  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEQQ-1rd4A0