if yawanna happy life his script forge it if you have to take the slivers and slices life offers

he watched a hawk play hanky-panky on the invisible thermals overhead on the frighteninglystark blue sky

he or she glided effortlessly like water flowing between stones and reed and cattails

the hawk dippedturned raced away like a honed blade through flesh

almost disappearing

                       then rolled up on their belly in a graceful arch like the hollow behind a womans knee into the vast bluer distance behind them where frothy white sensuous cotton clouds built to the heavens 

an right then an there

mesmerised

                it wouldnt have been a bad time to die

1338,  Saturday,  1  6. 19

1434 (234),  Thursday,  11  7.19

he was taken aback

he liked to think he wasnt the only one truly  

but he didnt have empirical evidence  and wouldnt    

so all he could hope for was that someone else might share his awarenesshis sensitivity  

not that hed hold his breath 

he couldnt say how many times he removed a dead crushed squirrel skunk bird from a road

each and every time it angered him 

careless human beings

selfish

seemed things had to turn around themaccommodate them  they couldnt find it in themselves to slow down or stop to save an animals life an earthling

he hadnt been on that stretch of road for a week

approaching the stop sign he watched a parchment thin carcass waft cross the road and settle near the dirt graveled shoulder

he swung wide of it in case the wind shiftedhe didnt want to be a part of its mutilation

a big opossum isnt rendered flat without other mutilations

he stoppedput the car in PARK applied the emergency brake turned the emergency flashers on and got out of it

a car rolled up behind him

he ignored it

he went around behind his car and over to the shoulder the driver tapped his horn he grabbed the remains by the tail and dragged it to a chainlink fence and wedged it under its serrated bottom the driver tapped his horn again he had no idea the blind could drive 

                  the driver exhorted something through his parted window then accelerated left around his cars rear end only to have to slam on his brakes as another car made a righthand turn off the thoroughfare they also had to slam on their brakes to avoid a head-on collision

the exhorting driver glared  then realised he had to back up  his jaws gnashedspewed gibberish  gibberish because he wasnt listening as he crossed again behind his car and carefully steppedavoiding the right-turning car and getting back inside his

he turned off his emergency flashers released his brake put the car in gear and signaled a lefthand turn

the driver behind him came up close on his bumper and laid on his horn 

he glanced into his rearview mirror made eye contact flipped him off as he made his left 

Aaah

     he almost felt sorryNOT when the driver accelerated after himblowing the STOP and got T-boned by a thoroughfare driver who veered right to sling behind his ass rather than slow down

it was a tremendous collusion

he left it to them to sort it out if either driver were conscious

1126,  Friday,  31  5. 19

1247,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  10  7. 19

every legit city park should have one 

                                      a big freakin clock an Xclamation stabbed in the malls grass standing proudlypronouncing Time a challenge to the slender silver flag pole where the United States flag flies beneath it the State of California or whatever city and state the clock informs

it loomed over his left shoulder

he sat on a nearly ergonomic steel park bench

which was a pleasure

he had ridden more park benches than he cared to admit 

it was genuinely nice to ride it in daylight beneath the shade cast by onehundred year old cedars somebody saw into the future

he looked up to the clockfaceHuh no secondhand  not that a secondhand was necessary it was just one other thing to watch to realise life drifting by

                                 that was one of many facets of mindfulness he held  held and didnt need a fone application to remind him ya cant fuckin be mindful on your own then ya got some real problems – aint nobody that busy – they just think they are – although he couldnt be confident thinking wandered its way into the equation

looking up he caught the minutehand lurch from thirteen minutes to fourteen minutes  an unmitigated pleasure . . kind of like a happy burp in a womans blouse a button undone sharing a discreet sidelong glance at her firm breast and gentle nipple Thank you and the burp remains long enough for him to appreciate her revealed aureole crescent

he sat back and smiled

thats happened to him before

encouraged him to spark up a conversation 

read either her reticence or cautious encouragement

cant help but want to water a plant to see if as a pair you can make it grow  blossom

how some might not see that in the workings of a mechanical armature   he did 

he always saw more in things that werent readily apparent  a soft yielding fold in a cotton cornflowerprint blouse sifting . . it wasnt so different or distant from the clockface . . a happy twitch  a subtle slip

if he saw why wouldnt he want everyone to see

to seeto recognise is a simple pleasure 

                                         An simple pleasures man simple pleasures are something to get worked up over    

                                                  

1726, Twosday,  28  5. 19

1141,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  10  7. 19                                                                          

Kembe X  Alive  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VG4O6CSc1wY   

a true Stable Genius  equals   Cruelty  make no mistake

1629,  Thursday,  11  7. 19

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2019/07/11/trump-again-calls-himself-stable-genius/1703154001/

https://www.msnbc.com/deadline-white-house/watch/trump-expected-to-back-down-in-battle-over-census-question-but-the-war-is-not-over-63679557984

there are thighs

                   then there are thighs

                                            and then there are tawny thighs firm athletic  young

he caught a glimpse when he looked up out of his book

she was perched like a small bird on top a ladderback bus stop bench her feet danced happily beneath her on its seat

she had earplugs danced to the music in her head  

he dug her choreography  rather he dug when she kicked her legs apart 

short skirt

she wasnt thinking

but musics like a drug

it makes you do things you wouldnt ordinarily do or rather  magnifies things you would

she was oblivious

Geeesuschrist rose out of his throat

there are thighs

                   then there are thighs

                                            and then there are tawny thighs firm athletic  young

an then theres the magiclandthe carafe held between them

Heres spit in your eye buddy  he laughed to himself

he returned to his book

he hoped her life would always be as happy as the music and her dancing made her in the few heartbeats he witnessed

1314,  Friday,  31  5. 19

1321,  Thursday,  11  7. 19

Kendrick Lamar  Spiteful Chant  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISFUG005Flg

the FAKE PRESIDENT tweeted “Could you imagine having Sleepy Joe Biden, or @AlfredNeuman99 or a very nervous and skinny version of Pocahontas (1000/24th), as your President, rather than what you have now, so great looking and smart, a true Stable Genius! Sorry to say that even Social Media would be driven out of business along with, and finally, the Fake News Media!”   

reading the tweet his takeaway was Drumpf is in decline . . he used to refer to himself as “an extremely stable genius” 

apparently that heyday is gone he cant usurp extremely with true – because hes not

Magic mirror on the wall, whoo’s the fairest of them all . .

                                                               such is delusion

1042, Thursday,  11  7. 19

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-rails-against-fake-news-in-bizarre-tirade-warns-industry-will-fold-when-he-leaves-office/ar-AAEb8Zx?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=mailsignout 

https://www.politico.com/video/2019/05/23/extremely-stable-genius-trump-defends-his-mental-fitness-068174 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqmIMvWnIV8

You don’t know who that is?

People keep asking me that.

                               he roaredlaughing at that exchange bit of dialogue out of Thin Air 

the reason was because more times than he could count he was that person who replied People keep asking me that

popular culture celebrities up-an-coming social events  celebrity-endorsed products didnt mar his surface

consumers bought into that crap 

he wasnt a consumer   

occasionally for shits and giggles he responded to computer prompts the lil fuckin troll it can be and viewed America’s Top 25 personalities to see if he was still on his game

You don’t know who that is?

the first  No 

the second  No  

the third  No fourth No

an on an on 

             he hadnt lost a step  he guessed three times was right once

his pride rejuvenated 

his ignorance bliss

                    what he ignored so not to interrupt exploring what he wanted to know

he was a curious motherfucker a curious bricklayer erecting an edifice 

                                                                          not a house of cards

You don’t know who that is?

No 

    an I dont wanna know anymore than I want anyone knowing who I am

I only need to know who I am  

                           bit of advise

                                                       know yourself

0800,  Friday,  5  7. 19

1057,  Twosday,  9  7. 19

Kembe X  What U Say  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuRVjF4smE4

he caught a quipNo thats not right a clip  online  an advertisement for whaAlexa Siri Cortana one of those plastic-canned voice-borrowing intelligence that people seemingly want to interact with 

                                                                        Lock your fuckin door before you leave homedont leave it to a machine to cover your back Go home  What else are you going to leave to a machine

too bad one cant inoculate against them a vaccine a blue sugar cube  as there was for polio no Salks and Sabins vaccines also for diphtheria tetanus pertussis mumps  measles chicken pox as a kid neighbourhood mothers dragged their children over to an infected kids house to get them infected . . get that shit over and done with

AI

shortcuts for everythinghuh

acronyms

he called them by their proper name  Artificial Intelligence  he belaboured conversations by refusing their nicknames 

They aint human Aint getting me to use a nickname

You’re such a pain in the ass, man.

An Ill be keeping my ass an my pain Aint uploading my consciousnessmy shit into an android or sleeve to stroll around the block

No you won’t. You’ll be dead before that happens.

Thank Gawd and the horse an whores he rode in on

no AI for him Artificial Intelligence 

                                     he knew of a woman named Ai (“ai” or “I” or “eye”) an hed be gawddamned if he was going to minimise her proper name  there wasnt a thing about her that was artificial she made his skin perspire his breath quicken his dick grow rock hard  

she was a guilty pleasure

he couldnt remember how he found her online Oh-eight Oh-nine she was sixteenseventeenOH MY GAWD  it was probably a random clip HAquip that caught his eye damn near ripped it out of his skull

                                                                         Ai was a guilt pleasure

then she was accessible swimsuit model  lingerie

that hasnt changed 

but now youtube enforces Sign in to confirm your age This video may be inappropriate for some users 

he quit entering  rather he clicked pages  click  click   click click click   click There all the pages werent safeguarded

he didnt know why he referred to her as a guilty pleasure what was guilty about a sensual look at her eyes voluptuous young woman in a swimsuit think: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue or in bra and panties posed  she was a model she never posed naked thats what he liked about her videos  she engaged his imagination 

occasionally she spoke

he didnt speak Japanese she didnt speak English but – on his side of the screen -- he got what she meant  the inflection in her voice

like her body

Ai was a natural envoy 

a natural envoy

                                          who smiled coquettishly brightly  on his envoyeurism

1247,  Thursday,  13  6. 19

1457,  Twosday,  9  7. 19

https://www.vox.com/recode/2019/5/2/18511551/living-smart-apartment-alexa-google-assistant-nest-furbo

Ai Shinozaki  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwkW1DOkA6M  expressions

Dont make me think  think come up with reasons  not now  Dont shove it down my gullet  I was wrong I told you immediately I apologised  Im not happy with my decision  my action 

I put a marker between the pages our pages  so I could come right back to where we werewhere  we are  

Admittedly where we are is not a comfortable place to be

I told you I was unhappynot with you  with our situation   

Ive been patient

My patience placed the bookmarker

I needed the affection  The touch  The trembling between kisses my breath catching in my throat  Gutteral animal sounds  Their gurgle  The explosion   

I needed to slake my thirstfeed my starving belly  I needed to be happyneeded  fulfillment   Even if only a stopgapyou know me  You know me to know the difference between want and need 

I submitted to my need  Not to wanting

Ive hurt you

I apologise  desperately 

If you could see my face youd see my desperation  I see it in the bathroom mirror

Accusing me

Pitying me

Unfortunately we dont see each other

Arcane Seeing is believing  

Im beginning to believe  when we talk  Im making you up Im talking to myself

Im talking to myself

Am I talking to myself now

1500,  Thursday,  4  7. 19

1313,  Twosday,  9  7. 19

he preferred thorough to anal he had no knocks against anal he just never saw himself as an anal person  begrudging curmudgeonly

he  was  deftly  thorough

                             talk to his lovers

they werent shythey would say how thorough he was if asked probably why they fell in bed together

he never left a stone unturned

otherwise why make lovehave sex if not to be turned inside out quivering   raw

inhaling

exhaling

your nose in it

You like sushi raw oysters

 

    if No

           then Seeya later! gotta draw a lineset parameters or youll waste your time

1251,  Sunday,  7  7. 19

1308, Monday,  8  7. 19

Nadine Shah  Nothing Else to Do  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtTNowLOhLA

he came left around a street corner and lifted his head from the book he was reading to glance ahead at the concrete walk for belligerent cracks steelposted signs lowhanging tree limbs the upcoming terrain hed entertain while his head down

some people thought if he went blind hed be in his element

Assholes

I wouldnt be able to read the words Would I

he found himself not twenty metres behind two teenage girls 

he hadnt seen them cross in front of him

too engrossed with Thin Air

he withheld his usual summary glance

he watched

So whas the hell with pigtails that made his ardor rise he asked himself because that would be the deviantwouldnt itthat thing inside him that provoked him and he had to wrestle withcouldnt allow free rein animus?  the handful for his anima to diminish  and if not  at least temporarily throttle

to be honest he was terribly prone to allowing his animus its way although draumatically inclined when he interacted with other men against them  some men are misogynists he was a misandrist toss religion in the mix he was a misandChrist he despised religiondespised patriarchy  they werent separated by a hairs breadth

he watched

             he dug the ones pigtails  what wasnt there to enjoy about youth  squandered while hewe had it  the human condition

probably genetically predisposed

conditioned

it couldnt be from a base desire to dip the ends of her pigails in the inkpot at school  despite the grade school desks he used through junior high had wells to set a jar of ink insidetheir surfaces spattered and inkfreckled 

                                                                                                         his animus encouraged him to think the Pollockstyle spatter was from the girls quibblingyanking their pigtails free from violating hands rather than unsteady or sloppy hands withdrawing their pen nibs filled to brimming

pigtails or high ponytails

                            even without the Catholic schoolgirl garb which Asiatic girls (and playful women) were still submitting to when Catholicism should never have been allowed to take hold – its missionaries – as in America – the indigenous people should have slaughtered those pious white men and whiteskinned fortune seekers either when their feet touched the shore or when they were found inland

Why hadnt they

these intruders were compelled  Pope Alexanders bull  1493  Inter Caetera  conferred on them the Right to colonise convert and enslave the Native people

however ofcourse that was his anima interrupting him trying to be heady pulling him back from his more coarse nature his animus

although  simply it occurred to him as he dropped his eyes back into his book that pigtails and high ponytails would alwayseternally be young

                           and he wasnt

he also wasnt stupid

which helped

still  he was happytickled he saw the girls pigtails and that his mind flipped back joyously to a time when he could have played with her and not be impugned

1600ish,  Sunday,  7  7. 19

1138, Monday,  8  7. 19

https://www.nlm.nih.gov/nativevoices/timeline/171.html

https://newsmaven.io/indiancountrytoday/archive/on-the-papal-bull-sublimis-deus-YKaoCEEyB02MJ67Oui-gAg/

Ghostpoet  One More Sip  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMl93oYmcao

Your life passes as if in a dream . . . 

                                      and while he didnt know who said it or if it had been attributed to anyone . . its simple eloquence waxes  its meaning undeniably understood

and when he hears it or reads it he cant help but wonder about those whose lives are or were nightmarish what would describe how their time passed because those are voices we prefer not to hear we looked awaywe deny we ever heard their cries

also  undeniably understood

regrettable

            but undeniable

a fetish  of sublime ignorance

                                but he couldnt deny them their voices  and certainly not on the petty ordersthe distain of someone and someone else and someone else 

those who are down the chain couldnt be blamedcould they for gagging those pleading voices staunching them  quieting them  what . . killing them

                                       because some people wont be shutup they refuse

those whose lives pass as if in a dream are likely the same people who die in their beds

he had a problem with that

                            he had a problem with those who might ask him or proclaimednot say proclaimed  their bucket list

a bucket list 

              really  made him flinch

he was grateful he could afford a roof over his head and eat he was grateful he and his wife raised daughters who were intelligent and took to reading learning like fish to water  their education was their jobs when they were young so later they would make something of themselves  and did

a bucket list is a declaration of entitlement 

maybe when everyone could have a bucket list he might answer their question 

in the meantime  blatantly NO

every day he was alive an healthy an imaginative was a single drip that made up his headwaters an creek an stream an river  made up that inebriated lightscribbled continuum that lapped the sides an tickled other peoples buckets

2253,  Sunday,  23  6. 19

0949,  Monday,  8  7. 19

Ghostpoet  Off Peak Dream  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiWvczb_hhg