he walked better reading 

he needed only to lift his eyehave it snag on something and thensuddenly he was out of his element

crossing a parking lot he glanced upleftright for cars not looking for casual pedestrians  the glanceright hooked him

jaguar spots

a tight top

            hed been a sucker for jaguar spots since he saw one as a boy stalking its cage back and forth and back and forth at the Brookfield Zoo

its quiet dignitysteady stalk impressed him but it was the beauty of its skin that drove him nuts he was a little disturbed when his mother told him the jaguar was a male then it didnt bother him it was another species wasntit cats were so damn androgynous he learned the term later boys and girls arent taught androgyny they almost have to fall on their face over it to learn for themselves curriculum whether at school or home sticksfast to its prejudices seemingly refusing to trust the innate intelligence of children born tabula rasas scribbled-all-over-with-coloured chalk   rascals

in and out of school he was politely referred to as a rascal though he preferred the other termshonest words adults muttered under their breaths he wasnt malleablewasnt iron to be heated up and poundedmolded into shape

into appeasing shapes

                    speaking of appeasing shapes jaguarskin on ffuull breasts pressed together jiggling cleavage

a fragrant chasm a yearning

                               then like the proverbial cherry-on-top  the spots clinging to a caramelcoloured cinnamoncoloured woman ffuull-bodied  slender waist  ffuull hips 

quickly dropping his eyes back into his book he still saw hersaw her strideswas mesmerised by the potent potion she exuded that stuck him like a dart from a blowgun

the lettersthe words laughed and ran aroundacross the open pages like children at recess

he couldnt remember what he was reading

he placed his finger in it as a bookmarker

closed the book

took one more glance

the second screamed on top of its lungs confirming his first 

                                                              a ffuull body flaunting jaguarskin

breathtaking

he walked in a pleasant dazewalked with his two glances walking with him and absently as he crossed the street he might have hoped if he could it wasnt against traffic  and thereby depending on the vaguerythe kindness of strangers  that it might be extended him and they didnt run him over he wouldnt have felt it  and he be trouble trying to dig him out of their grillwork and tires tread          

jaguar spots

              had an uncommon effect on him

1424,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  30  1. 19

1354,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  2. 19

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2485333/pdf/jcca00021-0037.pdf

the BBC is not CNN 

                     but Drumpfs legion cunt tell the difference   AH  to be ignorant is bliss

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/12/us/politics/bbc-cameraman-attacked.html

2023,  Twosday,  12  2. 19

as he walked reading a book he became keenly aware of a cry he heard  he tried to distinguish with his ears alone where it emanated  it seemed to come from all around him

                                                                he imagined a raptor aflight and therefore confusing himcrying from the sky that he couldnt see up into because of the canopy of arched trees limbs overhead

so he listened as a bat or dolphin might reversed echolocation

he listened hopeful that it might take to a tree roost  then reveal itself

it sounded formidable

                      and who didnt appreciate natural formidable creatures

inside a half kilometre it seemed the raptor had settled down

                                                                 he stopped walking along the roadside no longer read

he was possessed by his ears listening raptly to its occasional cries

listening he began walking backwards the cry behind him 

                                                               there were no curbsno sidewalks it was an old neighbourhood that didnt account for pedestrians or rather then there were insufficient cars to worry the mixing of vehicles and people afoot which was probably why he had affection for it he wasnt a squirrel to be run over hit him with a car and they better hope they killed him because he carried a kbar in a rucksack slung over his shoulder hed carried it since he was a teenager a gift from his older brother a Marine 

You’ll never know when you might need this.

                                               he branished it only twice  once in the city where four black teens took exception to him taking a shortcut through their neighborhood to reach the lakefront they chased him  he made a corner ahead of themturned and when they rounded it he had it in hand an went at them screaming Who wants it first! they bolted back around the cornerhe bolted in the direction he had been running  the second time he cut a deers throat  along a rural length of Wisconsin highway the truck ahead of him clipped itnever brakedkept right on going  as he passed he saw it convulsing in the tall grass in a narrow gully fashioned to divert rainwater he stopped walked back to it its hindquarters were twisted horribly its spine was probably broken 

You’ll never know when you might need this.

There he thought the cry was strongest to his right up  up in a tree   which tree  

he slowly turned to face a bank of trees downhill from him growing behind homes

he stole the sensual power out of his ears and fixed it to his eyes

There  threequarters up a digger pine nearly at the end of a ridiculouslythin branch among other branches there seemed a light tan patch a tanned breast it looked from where he stood like a huge chickentoo light to be a turkey easily a stone weight motionless asif it recognised the being down below was looking for it and not moving it appeared to be any one of several gray boughs of parasitic mistletoe thriving in the diggers crown 

then with another cry  eversoslightly it turned its headgave itself away perhaps unable to resist a tell

huge

a hawk

a young eagle

from where he stood he couldnt say 

he marveled at the gift of its presence and lingered  

several vehicles hurtled past him ignoring of the twentyfive mile per hour speed limit passing him they pulled briefly at his open jacket

maybe it was time to a carry a brick with the kbar 

                                                     You’ll never know when you might need this.

         

1317,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  30  1. 19

1400,  Sunday,  10  2. 19

she walked her cartmaybe two three loose plastic bags in it to one side immediately outside of the 99¢ Store automatic doors and stopped to hold her cellfone to her ear

I can’t she said

                I can’t. You’re gonna have to wait til my next payday before I spend any more money on you.

No. I can’t. 

Please.

Stop.

Please stop. What money I have left is already spent. I have bills due, I’m not gonna give that money to you.

her expression was pained

as he walked past her he wasnt going to look her in the eye wasnt going to acknowledge that he overheard what she said what she pleaded

I can’t, I can’t. Please find someone else to help you. You’ve tapped me out.

who would do that to her

who would she let do that to her

                                the usual suspects

walking up behind her he noted her flaccid legs she couldnt run on them if her life depended upon it her spine was stooped her face was linedshe wasnt old shed been worked over the whole of her life and whoever was on the other end was probably only one of many who worked her over

you dont have to lay a hand on someone to beat them  and she was beat up

I can’t. Please. 

Please ask someone else. 

I’m barely feeding myself. the loose plastic handles tossed in a wind that came up shook  anchored by what little they contained 

she shopped in a 99¢ Store for Christssake

if he was panhandling he wouldnt dare ask her for a cent 

for some reason she just couldnt say NO and hang up

I can’t  isnt NO

NO

HANG UP

SLIP THEIR LEVERAGE

DONT ANSWER WHEN THEY CALL BACK because they will

a halfhour later he was still twisting on her hook Fuckin people! he said out loud to no one other than himself if someone glared at him hed bark FUCK! then Sorry Tourettes  he didnt mind lying to strangers hed never see again in his life Fuck em  Fuck em if they couldnt take a joke

1458,  Monday,  28  1. 19

1308,  Saturday,  9  2. 19

B B King  How Blue Can You Get  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l45f28PzfCI

the cummin menage a trois

ya gotta love a February lovefest  the menage a trois  Bolton getting in on the Hanoi action   he brings a ticklish moustache

1805,  Monday,  11  2. 19

http://www.msnbc.com/deadline-white-house  The Best Beaches

sailing

a brightblue helium balloon

trailing a long yellow ribbon

slowly  delicatelyturning climbing into the gray sky

he could have assumed it was a childs toy

but why should a balloon belong only to a child

had he been near when it escaped or was released he would have jumped tried to catch it

                                                                                              he wouldnt have given it back

unfortunately all he could do was watch its silent ascent and as he did he remembered when he was a boy he floated sticks in the rainwater that churned in the street gutters imagining they were birch bark canoes and he rode inside them

and he imagined he was bound to the balloon going higher and higher and how wonderful the earth and hills and trees looked from far above 

he wasnt an ignorant boy 

                           he knew once he committed to the canoe ride he might not be able to leap to safety before it trembled and fell over the steel slants of the street grates or if he could beat the odds that the helium would escape the balloon would deflate and return him gently to earth rather than the breathtaking thrillthe sudden freefall if it poppedPOPPED!  perhaps life should end with a champagne pop a deafening scream a sudden rollercoaster ride your heart in your throat and trying to breath around its insane beating

he stood and watched the balloon while in the sky  brightblue   a dot    a speck     until he couldnt see it any more

he quit breathing high in his chestquit the thrill he imagined for its great height and distance from where it began wondering all the seconds that elapsed

                                         woandered all the seconds from where he and everyone began

he remembered the pageantrythe solemnity of the wakes the churches the black hearses the black family cars the dazzling flowersbreathtaking like fireworks shaking their heads in the flower car  he remembered the crawl of the funeral processions the raw open earth at the cemetery  the coffins  the bodies inside themremembered their awful rigidness when he kissed them goodbye the last time so terribly unlike when he kissed them while they were alive  remembered whispering Goodbye I love you so much 

while his memories flickered like old films in his eyes he transposed themoverwhelmed them with the precious flight of the brightblue balloon and then and there as he lost sight of it he decided hed have his ashes held in a cheap brown paper bag wound in a ribbon tethered and released to who-knows-where as his life had been carried to that destination

by a rubyred helium balloon

                                   he could hear his daughters gasp

his lover laugh

0123 or 1323,  Saturday,  9  2. 19

1411,  Monday,  11  2. 19

Christopher Cross  Sailing  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IST-GfqUwDA

while walking towards the pair as he crossed a parking lot the man opposite him began shortening the leash he walked his dog on 

meeting the dogs eyes it began pulling on the leather leashveering off tack the man was taking

he was in the habit of looking dogs in the eye whether they rode in the backseat of vehicles in truck beds or barked at him as he crossed before the fenced yards they were held in    

                                                              but then he tried to make eye contact with almost everyone he met

when he was a boy his mother was aware and disturbed by his penchant of looking people in the eye often she reprimanded himtelling him  Stop. It’s rude to look someone in the eye. You’re a child, you should know your place. They’re adults. They’re not children or your playmates. You’ll lower your eyes; you’ll do so in respect. Looking them in the eye in the manner you do is inappropriate, untoward. You’ll respect them, give them their due.

Stop it. I keep telling you stop, and you refuse.

one couldnt say she didnt draw a line

sometimes shed utter Wait till I get you home but sometimes there on the street in a store shed kneel quickly in front of him and sharply slap his cheek

                              I  SAID  STOP.

however even as a boy  he understood that the price hed paidthe price of accepting her punishmenthis fathers punishment was the cost of him doing what he wanted to do 

later he learned that his action then was a matter of accepting accountability if he got caughtgot found out he was willing to accept their punishment cracks on the ass were painful only in the moment  the pain subsided  but he still did as he wanted and that couldnt be taken from him    

his parents called him stubborn

maybe stubborn was appropriate as long as it also described that he consciously did what he wanted  that he understood the up-side and the possible down-side

pain is brief  it brings one into the moment suddenlyaware   

accountability

as they approached each other tangentially the man quit shortening the leash and began yanking ityanking it hard to avert the dog who wished to continue towards him

Heel, dammit! Heel, Dolly! yanking again and again

she wasnt big adamant though  he did turn herdrag her despite her scrabblingpawing noisily at the blacktop continuing to pull on the leash towards him 

they didnt take their eyes off one another

they evidently liked what they saw

he admired her earnesther steadyfastness

                                                       her stubbornness

he realised he never once glanced at the man

he wasnt their breed

1416,  Sunday,  27  1. 19

1207,  Saturday,  9  2. 19

Fleetwood Mac  Show Me a Smile  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6nEogq7pRQ

                 sigh

                       some brainiac hung the Sloan urinal low on the palegreen tiled wall  it was like pissing on your shoes

        it flushed even before he used itas he stepped towards it while arranging the clothbag slung over his shoulder weighted by library books squaring it on his back so it didnt swing in front of him as he unbuttoned his fly and did his business all these automatic devisesgimmicks Christ! he said as he stepped away quickly avoiding the exuberant water that sloshed on the floor at his feet

when it finished gargling he stepped forwardbestriding the wet tile and drool that lengthened making its way to the drain at the center of the floor behind him

he finished stepped back bowlegged avoiding the spent water then all put back together and out of danger of the flush he leaned forward and depressed the button on top the urinal to flush it 

it sloshed onto the floor again  JesusChrist

                                              stepping oversidestepping to the sinks at his left good thing he did a bit of square dancing in gym in grade schoollike learning to ride a bicycle you never forget he saw these sinks didnt have handles at the mercy of more automation he placedcupped his hands in the bowl under the spigot and began moving them slowly up and down to find the ridiculous sweetspot which would finally trigger the water  it did  briefly haltingly  like a man suffering an enlarged prostate  then it flowed againhalted flowed OH  now it ran sufficiently so he could go to the automatic soap dispenser for a foamy dollop a stingy dollop an ejaculate dollop of a man fortified with Viagra  he lathered his hands and played again with the sweetspot like a womans roving Gspot to rinse his hands FUCK  then continuing left pivoting on his heels ninety degrees he confronted the Xlerator an automatic hand dryer and playingstroking for its sweetspot Gspot again not titillated bored  he glanced into the trash and saw crumpled paper hand towels and looking furthur left over his shoulder he saw a dispenser box of Kimberly-Clark WypAlls paper towels sitting on an opened GAMCO Baby Changing Station  pale ivory plastic  emblazoned and warning Always Attend Baby in English and six other languages because what it was was not obvious  so fondlingtrying to dry his hands under the dysfunctional Xlerator he desistedstepping left again to snatch a couple WypAll sheaves

its no wonder why so many men didnt wash their hands after taking a piss these days  and also there shouldnt be any wonder or chagrin levelleddirected against him when he meeting someone he didnt shake their hand womens hands he didhe felt he could trust them to wash their hands while quietly declaring Youll excuse me but current male bathroom habits suggest I might as well be shaking your cock  an Ive no intention of doing that either 

                          finally

                               exiting the grocery bathroom he approached their Courtesy Desk and suggested to the female attendant that the Mens Room needed significant helpneeded the bugs worked out of it and reiterated in stingy details the hazards and inconveniences he had just encountered taking a piss Would you like my name as verification of my complaint

she was disinclined to take his name

So he concluded should I need to utilise your facilities again and find them wanting Ill not be taking it up with the Desk again  Ill immediately notify County Health Its the employees bathroom too

at least all the fixtures were Made in America

1505,  Monday,  28  1. 19

1515,  Saturday,  9  2. 19

Zappa  Montana  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smZA9Jv3qH0

Dinah-Moe Humm  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4hzVpYAP-U

just when you thought a guy couldnt stink worse

this guy lit it upstinking to high heaven

possibly unrivaled  

                   ticked it up a fat degree a deep notch and he worried that the stink might not come out of his clothing

he may have to burn them

start from scratch

not really  but it certainly made him think so  

he knew he couldnt bury them

the earth would resist

hed dig a hole in her one day and not days later shed excrete them 

shes not as hapless as we might think

she wouldnt want any part of itshed already absorbed more poisons than she could ever have imagined vile concoctions unimagined in nature

                         What does that say about us?

he actually gagged when the slovenly man cut him offstepped rudely in front of him tossing a gappedtooth grin

there was plenty of sidewalk 

                              but maybe the jokester there are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke thought that because he had his nose in a book that he didnt have peripheral vision ears to hear or sonar an aura that picked up spatial disturbances 

he cut him off

his stink nearly cut him down

he was inure to himself Limburger cheese doesnt know that it stinks but Limburger doesnt get up shake a leg stroll about unwrapped

beyond his gag  Christ man gag   Get cleaned up

halfturning he snarled  I do as I please.  another gappedtooth grin

not much left to doNo  to counter this bane Careful man watch yer step he said as he kicked his heel and tripped him with his own feet  however possibly he might have exaggerated his own stumble over him stumblingdriving his elbow his weight on his head slapping his temple to the concrete 

Limburger went limp under him

kneeling over him he cried SOMEONE CALL 911  THIS GUYS OUT     HELP

a bigger crowd might have gathered if Limburger didnt put them off they heaped up then backpedaled tripping over those pressing up behind them CHRIST gag  sputter  What’s that smell? Is that him? Ohmygod.

                                                                                      amid that milling discombobulation distress he got off his knee brought his book to his face and walked off a masked man in search of his sidekick  emerging from the fragmenting spiral he kept to the line he was on before Limburger interrupted him

why people took issue with his walking and reading was beyond him

it wasnt the first time 

                       though it was certainly the most unique

0747 & 0751,  Twosday,  15  1. 19

1250,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  6  2. 19

Elton John  Dirty Little Girl  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj6lFN9YHW4

presidential harrassment

Whaddafuck   What  whats that cunt crowing about now

You better sit down. You might not believe your ears.

Lemme have it

You going to sit?

No Ill take it like a man

he cleared his throateyed him he didnt want the scornkill the messenger  Alright.  He’s saying that House investigations are . . ah . presidential harassment.

What

Yes.

Jesus  Fakers clearly out of his mind Its the Houses obligationtheir oversight Not that the Republicans saw it that wayparticularly Nunez  wannabe oligarch He tied his star to cement shoes  But hubris I suppose isnt hubris without its attendant fuckin idiots 

Presidential harassment  I spell that H-A-R-R-A-S-S-M-E-N-T harrassment

You’re hilarious. Peeved, huh?

Yah

    But If anyone knows what harrassment isan we gotta give him some credence if anyone knows what harrassment isgrab em by the pussy its the president of the United States  Faker-in-chief  Acting  president

Hes a mongrel He grrrowls an for whatever reason republicans shit themselves They forget theyre there to serve the American peopleserve their constituents Theyre not there to proclaim loyaltytake oaths

Checks an balances  Rule of Law

I agree.

I know you do So the House is going to flop his grrrowls to grHowl  whine  bitch  What an deluded cunt

Don’t lose your cool. Whenever you use cunt I know you’re slipping.

Stop I lost my cool before he was elected  I heard himyou heard him I took him at his word Hes inane an he doesnt have to go deep in his pockets or up his ass to pull it out  It exists in copious handfuls  Look up inane in the dictionary an we ought to see a picture of yellow Chicken Little Donalds face

Donald J Trump hed say is second to no one in any realm No one knows better than Donald J Trump

Mebbe hell choke to death on his popcorn during his Executive Time as he watches FOX

It dont broadcast news

1500,  Thursday,  7  2. 19

1320,  Friday,  8  2. 19

Grab them by the pussy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o21fXqguD7U 

Donald Trump’s “very, very large brain”  https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-us-canada-45664690/donald-trump-says-china-respects-his-very-large-brain

he didnt know himhe wanted to know him but circumstances didnt allow them to meet

and unmet now hell never know him

                                        because Alchemy died yesterday

he knew alchy was cherished

he knew alchy was anticipatedthat he made his girlfriends life happy every moment she spent at home with him after long arduous days of workworking with screwballs for screwballs contending with the fragile psyches of PhDs and doctors who believed their degrees entitled them to quasi-goddom

when she referred to those anonymous personalities devoid of any physical descriptions other than male or female he imagined old ruined spiderwebs that ought to be taken down out of ceilingcorners with a broom no respectable spider would fasten silk from their spinneret to one any more than a destitute person would seek wet cardboard to help fashion a refuge

alchy helped replenish her refill her heart and soul reopen her senses that she shuttered to withstand the awkward buffeting and direct assaults of mental health

They’re stealing my compassion.

They’re stealing my compassion. 

                                   when she told him that his blood iced in his veins her beauty had depth to the marrow of her bones she was kind she was considerate and to preserve herself recognising their assaults she entered a survival mode an armor which deflected the dull whips and slings and pointy arrows but despite it she still bruised still whirled images she was unfortunately privy to through her head 

she could not unsee what she saw 

unhear what she heard

she spared him

she laughed Poor alchy takes the brunt of my complaints he nibbles timothy hay fresh vegetables from my hand his muzzles tickles my palm and I feel my emotions and affections restored

What, what am I going to do now?

Any ideas?

Perhaps Survive  Thats what we dowho we are  

If I can help you need only ask

I have your back

she emailed him pictures of alchy the day she brought him home he looked like a miniature buffalo he automatically had his heart she wrote He’s my little buffalo. You’re my big buffalo. You’re not jealous, are you?

No

Were of the same herd same tribe

We both want your happiness

she was terribly unhappy 

he hadnt seen her yet but he knew her unhappiness would be evident in her facein her voice if someone cared to look and see

Time for a new pet! was the chorus at work

                                                  Assholes

happiness flows up in us through deep artesian wells

were responsible for our happiness

Time

A time will come her colours will return 

Time 

       desperately Time heals all wounds

1212 or 0012 & 1454,  Thursday,  7  2. 19

Free Wishing Well https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdWz2fbiSno