as the telephone recording machine kicked on in her studio – the only phone in her house -- she didnt get up to answer it she was busy  

                   it amused her when people rushed to pick up their phonessometimes fumbling them in their hurry that somehow a ring has become a RING! demanding their IMMEDIATE ATTENTION IMMEDIATE ACKNOWLDGEMENT Mach schnell! 

                                           and this immediacy has provokedhas taught callers or texters to become irritate if they have to wait even a remedial length of time  perhaps thinking I’m calling! What’s so important! (which in actuality they should thinking  I’m important! – a legend in their minds) 

behind her music as she painted she heard the recorder mumble   again  probably the fifth time this morning  . . warning, your Apple iCloud has been breached! Please do not use any Apple devise until you contact an Apple Support advisor . .

she had to switch out brushes refill her coffee so heading to the kitchen passing the machine 3 smart in red she hit play and erased one Apple warning after the other

then continuing to the kitchen for coffee her telephone immediately rang again

                                                                                  she was getting coffee

the machine began recording

                                This is a warning, your Apple iCloud . . 

                                                                          good thing she was pouring coffee and not drinking it it might have shot out through her nose

                                                      she was tickled 

returning to the studio she erased the message as she passed

the telephone RANG . . This is a WARNING  your iCloud has been breached . .

in a flash it occurred to hershe thought Ohbrother Im becoming as tenacious as a machine as a robocall 

                                                                                                              . . as tenacious as a machine . .

the thought humoured her 

sipping her coffee she was illuminated by another thought 

she giggled 

           then her giggle rose to a full bellylaugh

                                                     she thought the robocalls incited it  My tenacity really  she might have to be thankful to every mook who tried hitting on her at the bar as she treated her to a drink celebrating a canvas sold a canvas complete

                        who she ignoredwithout so much as looking at them  with an abrupt No thank you

if the mooks hadnt hit on her she might now be peeved at the phony robocalls but was also enjoying her extreme delight as warranted by the thought of her machine-like tenacity 

she didnt own an Apple devise

1027,  Reggae Friday,  9  10. 20

Shadowfax  Another Country  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrnpyIg_-m4

 

after years and years of bending his mindwhipping it with grass peyote psilocybin windowpane  Don’t forget booze.  Thank you  I would have  You’re welcome. he tried to be polite to himself  he found that he best-preferred his hypnagogic and hypnopompic states

they were hallucinogens too

falling into sleep

waking from sleep 

                     he had become as adept at playing with them as he was at manipulating his dreams  lucid dreaming  Man, that’s the only time we’re lucid.  Careful I have my moments  You keep thinking that. Your legions would agree with me. 

Lucidity is a hard drug 

                         all his legions had to do was recognise that he didnt scratch his mind with chemicals not heroin meth or pills he gave himself a pass on the two handfuls of windowpane 

Well he thought  Ill have to concede better late than never  You can say that again.  Keep it up buddy and Ill stuff the keyhole with putty  We’ll dig it out.  Ahh but the moments youll miss in the meantime  Yes, there is that.  I, we, apologise for being snide.  Apologies accepted Thank you  You’re welcome. himselves tried to be polite to him

 

0557,  Thursday,  8  10. 20

1305,  Thursday,  8  10. 20

 

she knitted her fingers in front of her face and wept softly 

he saw her tears roll down her cheeks individually 

                                                          she kept knitting  didnt wipe them away

he cared deeply for her 

                         however he didnt know what he could saythat he could to anything that might answer her Whys or pleas help her alleviate what wormed in her heart and guts  which he couldnt have imaginedforeseen unless he was an emotionally-attuned antennae-spiked freak

freak wasnt too strong a word  comparatively

the life hed known was blunt force and trauma

it fixed him to be who he was

he figured everyone is either forged delicately stitched or grown with the apparent ease of a wild plant 

later he teased in letters  in private conversations  he considered emotions he blunted or were blunted sheared or cauterised  the trauma of drama 

                                     the word he teased was drauma      

he knewnot that he could be but knew people who were unfortunately wove knitted  suffered cloaks made from fabrics of dramatised trauma

comparatively  he believed or understood draumatic people were wells an he was nothing more than a rut scratched in hardscrabble earth

  

2246,  Twosday,  6  10. 20

1147,  Thursday,  8  10. 20

Free  Wishing Well  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdWz2fbiSno 

 

he really didnt know why it came to bethe how was etched in his skull

since he slept with a pillow blanket  something pressed up against his left cheek  but not under his head

he laid flat 

               maybe he was practicing for later

Why do you have to say that?

Why do you care

Care? Im in on it!

In on it

Yes. All of us are in one it, and we cringe when you say things like that; I don’t think, excuse me, we don’t think you know how frequently you imply things, uncomfortable, sometimes perverse things.

So you an all of you think I dont think before I speak

                                                         Do you know me not to know what Im saying  I havent consideredthought it through

Im rarely known to commit trepverter or if you prefer French to Yiddish esprit d’escalier staircase wit  stepwords

One in the same

 

Please 

 

             Answer me

No. We’d admit that you tend to be considerate, then considerately inconsiderate.

Seems all of us  like to butter both sides of the bread

I am troubled by your perception or concern  that yare in on it 

                                                                   Id think youd be like rats fleeing a sinking boatif I sank slowly If the door slams shut then youd be fucked

Everyones been revealed slowly over the years dancing before my peekhole my keyhole

Now unless   appearances are deceiving I dont think youve been incubating yare not puggles 

More likely Ive conceived that you saw opportunity and found your way in Anif Im correct you can find your way out again 

If its too hot in the kitchen  you  all of you   can adios

An the kitchens rarely hot  by how I ascertain things to be 

                                                                   Though we do enjoy different perceptions

Don we

 

Well said.

Had to be said 

                     Anso

 

We do enjoy our digs.

Then you might cringe and commiserate between yourselves and leave me to steer

 

I havent gotten us killed

                                 Yet

Ha! No, not yet.           

0010,  Twosday,  6  10. 20 

1336,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  10. 20

Grand Funk Railroad  I’m Your Captain  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvOPucs7dC0

 

no Air 

no Heat

his cats didnt need it

why would he

creature comforts

were all creatures earthlings 

                               so Air didnt figure into his life when it was hot and Heat didnt either when it was cold  living in California afforded him that

what was outside was inside  in through screened windows

anyet it seemed hard for others to understand

they wanted to know why 

Why 

         Tellya wha   

Use your imagination 

I have better things to do with my time

It was curious he thought to be expected to answer questions he wouldnt ask                                                                                    

0012,  Twosday,  6  10. 20

1152,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  10. 20

he was raised by a lioness 

                             not that they always saw eye to eye  but he learned as a boy that men were no better than women  and certainly no better because of their sex

he had an abiding belief in individuals 

                                         and did not hold sex up to influence his opinion of their words

First Lady Michelle Obama spoke

he listened

he agreed with her words

                            yet another undaunted lioness standing warily over her kill that she made to feed her pride her family

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5l_Xz2MIh4s

2344,  Twosday,  6  10. 20

Santana  Black Magic Woman  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_SOAdAxFfo

a second Gettysburg Address  

                                 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzyKJEv_QoY

Biden spoke presidential words . . words unheard in nearly four years

                                                                                              1848,  Twosday,  6  10. 20 

$212K -- Killed

ah  a Drumpf clusterfuck something he can capably perform 

                                                              https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/presidential-historian-trump-is-so-terrible-he-makes-hoover-look-like-gandhi-93284422001

cant help  a flock fou-ishly follows its CoVidiot clown

2105,  Twosday,  6  10. 20

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/-evil-chris-hayes-on-trump-admin-s-ongoing-recklessness-that-led-to-covid-outbreak-93282373784 

 

white blouse black bra white blouse  ahblack bra black bra   aah white blouse  thats called a diacope  a rhetorical devise 

       had he thought instead white blouse black bra white blouse black bra white blouse black bra  a bit tamer more prosaic that would have been a relative of diacope an epizeuxis  a succession of words or a phrase for emphasis or vehemence      

 

empathically he said Gawdblessya doll

she smiled he met her at the end of the foyerrecognised her voice when she entered  God bless me?

Yes

Why?

he stepped back away from her looked her up and down made her giggle Because you look fine this evening an ya made it I didnt think you were going to make it it sounded like you might not when we spoke earlier this evening

it was a small gathering of friends acquaintances rather it seemed small because the house was so large it dwarfed them even six or seven congregating in a room seemed small

Thank you. she said You can quit ogling me now, you’re embarrassing me, people are noticing your, your inspection.

Let em notice Besides  yare noticeable

Thank you. Pleease stop.

Will it please you if I stop

Yes.

Then to please you I will

Ai she was Chinese and Japanese  he was still wondering where her figure came fromher stature  fiveeight five nine  hourglass 

            she referred to herself Chapanese 

cute

she was not the usual China dolls he had met small compact slight figures   nearly boyish

he didnt like boyish on women

luxurious thick black mane bangs

Ai You really made my night Anthen to please you on top of it  Whamore could a guy ask for

Flatterer. Though I expect you, my guy, my guy for the evening, will likely find something more to ask for.

Am I that transparent

Like freshcleaned glass, you lack any opacity.

Now look whos embarrassing people I wish I could blush

she percolated a laugh as if he caught her offguard 

                                                     No. That’s not in your make-up. I used to be astonished by your directness, your saying things as they are, usually more crudely than not, but cleverly, a nice alchemychemical bonding, and then at once charming; you’re a charmer.

I strive for charmingstrive to charm the pants off  ladies

My goodness, the things that come out of your mouth.

he pressed up close to her 

                             Wheres my hug doll

Ai stepped back and started patting herself down Your hug, your hug, it’s here somewhere, I’m sure I didn’t leave it at home, positive, I wouldn’t do that, it’s here somewhere. 

                                                           she stopped patting her hands at her thighs fingers spread black eyes penetrating his Found it. 

                                        she stepped forward to him and they wrapped each other in their arms a sensual embrace

he swelled she smelled wonderful 

                                      one day hed ask her what the fragrance was but not asking left it a mystery much of what they didnt ask each other was for the mutual benefit of their mysteries he still didnt know where she lived 

he scarcely got her number he wouldnt have asked anyone if they had it  it was the second time hed seen her he caught her outside a restaurantsaw her through a window as she was unlocking her car he rushed out EXCUSE me

she startled

Sorry he said as he hustled towards her  You know my faceyah

she had unlocked the door and opened it the door was between them Do I know your face?

I know your face We werent introduced

You know my face?

I do

 

Yare killing me

she smiled

Now yare really killing me

her smile grew Fucking dimples he didnt say I recall your face. Knowing it would be too . .

. . Presumptuous

Big word. No. Forward, too forward of me.

Then let me be forward 

                          Joe  May I ask your name

You came all the way out of the restaurant, I can see your party waiting on you, his back was to the restaurant to ask me my name?

Wellnah actually  Actually I came out to ask you for your number Then Id ask for your name to pair with your number Then I reconsidered when you didnt spookdidnt get in your carshut the door

That would be backwards.

I couldnt say Youve had me turning in circles since last I saw youknowed your face

Knowed my face?

Knowed Or node n-o-d-e a point which lines or pathways intersect  Ours

Ours?

You ask a lot of questions 

                            Wheres the mystery

Ai.

Short for Ai yai yai

Cute.

Maybe clever

Maybe. she looked over his shoulder  The natives are getting restless.

Theyll have all evening to have my attention This is a sliver I have no intention of pulling out

A sliver?

Another question

she smiled quickly again Fucking dimples 

                                            Would you like a number to pair with my name? Or are you going to say I’m asking another question.

Yes   No

Have something to write it down?

No

You want me to do all the work?

Is that another question

the laughter bubbled out of her as if she were a childs toy bubble machine  gay  bright  shiny  luminous 

                                                                                                                  musical

Here. she went into her purse and got an eyeliner pencil

Just your number Ai  I cant ever forget your nickname

she wrote it up his wrist

she might have noticed his pulse tick up

 

 

she noticed his swelling she rocked her hips against his 

                                                            she said into his ear I don’t think we’re alone, Joe.

No But you provoked it

I . . I provoked it?

Yes

How?

Questions questions questions

she chuckled 

               How?

White blouse black bra  Hot

Shit. You can see my bra?

Everyone can see your bra Though I find it hot   They probably do too

I rushed out of the house, I didn’t think.

Were you that anxious to see . . 

. . I’m always anxious to see you; unexpectedly my other plans fell through.

An Im happy they didya can feel how happy

You’re crazy.

Im crazy for you

 

 

later Ai went into a bathroom because Joe asked her then step back out brieflyholding the door holding his gaze 

she didnt think so he said he did he was right it was better she suffered her white blouse black bra than her white blouse and dark “spectacular aureoles”  as he called them                                              

                                                                     What was I thinking? she didnt say  

1813,  Monday,  5  10. 20

1311,  Twosday,  6  10. 20

 

his grandchildren two buttonpushing sisters didnt like coming over to his house 

You let spiders live in your house.

I do

Why do you let spiders live in your house?You should kill them.

Kill them  hmm 

                 Ive got a question for you before I answer yours   Okay

Okay.

If yare playing outdoors where spiders live should they kill youshould they kill you for the animus you have for themfor your unpretentious bile and contempt dare I say hatred you exhibit

No. But theyre only bugs.

An yare only humans

Were all eathlingsya understand the term earthlings  living on Earth

If you can so easily kill a bug a spider I can see no reason why you shouldnt be killed as easily

 

You’re not very nice, Grampa.

 

Wha gave you the impression Im nice 

                                         If anything I try hard to be fair  Are you both as bloodthirsty as you say

 

We should go tell our mother.

Your mother My daughter She knows shes lived through it

                                                                 Besides this is my house If you dont like it you dont have to visit See how easy it is to solve your problem     

 

1334,  Monday,  5  10. 20

 

her Fulu fooled him

 

                              Whas this baby  he held a receiptsized slip of paper out to her

she didnt take it from his hand

                                  I don’t know – she smileddimples huge  he was jealous of her dimples – what is that?

he returned her mischievous smile they shared a long history of speaking in smiles  Youah yare not trying to bewitch me  areya

Oh come on, Dad, I don’t think there’s a soul who believes they could bewitch you. Your amour, like your unbendy body and joints would scarcely allow any mystical purchase or penetration.

Yaint talkinbout my anus

her smile grew exponentially then twistedqueer  it looked painful 

                                                                     Ouch he said

Only looks painful, Dad; no, I wasn’t talking about your anus. There are many accesses or avenues that can be used.

Good Im happy about that because theres others I can think of who Id rather discuss my anus with than my daughter

You’re welcome . . moving along.

Yes  Lets

What do you have there?

You pleading ignorance

No. I’m not ignorant, I recall, I just haven’t seen it since you moved . . well, moved me to seek to protect you, create it. 

I haven’t made many talismans, and when I made this one my concern was for your health; I remember, but I don’t remember exactly, and what symbols I’ve used and thoughts I’ve had have evolved. Then I was impressionable, and somewhat naïve.

Naiveté isnt a word I would ever use to describe you Aniela Perhaps innocent as innocence is and then learns and becomes stronger fortifies itself  But you were never a babe in the woods you came into this world with your tabula rasa scribbled all over . . an old soul as your mother and grandmothers saw and said

I wouldnt know

she took the talisman from his hand

she chuckled a bit as she looked at it as if it tickled her palmtickled her memory

Yes. I remember making it. 

                             I copied the front from a health script I found in one of my books before I came to visit; you can see it is rigid, severe, prosaic. Turning it you can see the script on the reverse side, my script, is playful, generous, spontaneous. You can also see I loosely drew a couple symbols from the face and at the bottom had the eternities facing each other whereas the two on the front faced left, left being your power, your brain and being’s creativity.

I did see

I can’t say exactly, Dad, right now, off the top of my head, but I sought to intuit for you, help you manifest your strength and goodness against whatever it was you were struggling against, since we’ll never know because you refused the specialist's diagno . .

. . He didnt know shithe couldnt know  He was unwilling to listen to me to hear me and created a fiction to determine a course of action that likely hes repeated a thousand times over his career  because one thousand people are exactly alike

He wasnt a scientist

He was a pill pusher

My complaint waswasnt pain  only  discomfort

 

Aniela listened

You’re a funny guy, Dad. Other people’s pain is your discomfort.

Listen to you preaching to the choir 

                                      Yare a lot like me

Nobody’s like you, Dad; I wish I was.

she handed the talisman back to him 

                                        When I left it I was pretty sure you might ditch it.

No It was apparent an honest as you always have been I figured sooner or later wed have this moment

Whas it called love

It's called Fulu. Daoist magic writing, magic characters, figures.

 

I like that Fulu 

                 I healed up  Thank you lovethank you Aniela for your powerful healing thoughts and love 

I love you so much, Dadu.

You nut

they hugged their long loving embrace shaken with laughter 

                                                                 Shaken, not stirred.  

2037,  Saturday,  3  10. 20

1211,  Monday,  5  10. 20

Brian Hyland  Gypsy Woman  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yDmOP2KI90

$211K -- Killed

quarantine

            https://www.npr.org/sections/latest-updates-trump-covid-19-results/2020/10/05/920412187/trump-says-he-will-leave-walter-reed-medical-center-monday-night?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20201005&utm_term=4877987&utm_campaign=breaking-news&utm_id=28916831&orgid=55

evidently the president of the United States didnt look up the word quarantine or perhaps couldnt spell it to look it up

which would account for his joyride around Walter Reed and jeopardising Secret Service agents -- if the president put a gun to his head to blow his brains out is Secret Service required to get between his head and the muzzle

 

he is an unmitigated piece of shit

1612,  Monday,  5  10. 20

apparently Abbott Laboratories presidential coronavirus testing is like an Abbott and Costello comedy bit

https://www.msnbc.com/morning-joe/watch/members-of-trump-s-inner-circle-test-positive-for-covid-19-93143621757

1644,  Monday,  5  10. 20

Abbott and Costello  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9udNrOh5DyA

people go to things day after day stringing their lives together in what they deem  usually  are productive meaningful ways

he called them routinespeople flinched when he did 

                                                     asif it were a bad thing 

some believe theyre above it

                                       

                         routine

                                 is their hearts beatingtheir unconscious breaths  their steps falling forward one after the other 

       otherwise theyd stand still 

                                     wouldnt progress 

                                                                   Evolution wouldnt have evolved

 

his life thus far was composed of heady blocks of routine

through adolescence  teens  young adulthood  middle ages   entering bizarre enddays some might impose that last year after year because threats are less frequent  theyd be apparent if he tried provoking them

nobody wants to beat a senseless older man senseless

trouble is  older people are filled to overflowing with senses

senses going unfulfilleddemons running through their lives  haunting their dreams

senses of wrong turns that may have led to regret  if regret was a colour they wanted to paint with

failing senses 

               eyes  ears  taste

extreme senses  lovedbeloved ones deaths 

                                            aching memories  like stepping in mud struggling to extract their foot and freedwatch their footprint fill slowly with water  patiently  they have nowhere to be   and filled reflect their face  everyones faces

 

his were heady blocks of routine because being keen while living outside and inside his head they stacked neatly like childs toys  storage bins

his mother before she died told him when he called to ask if what he remembered actually happened or had he dreamed or madeup it 

              Please stop asking me, Joe, it’s hard for me to remember now, but what I do remember is that whenever you asked you had remembered it correctly, they were memories; and, I am grateful, they jumpstarted mine.

 

routine isnt a bad thing

 

2054,  Saturday,  3  10. 20

1147,  Sunday,  4  10. 20

Who  The Real Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2h1MY70uag