In Sedona

Yes.

At the stupa

Yes.

The colourful Tibetan prayer flags strung together

Yes.

Wha do they signify

    Really?  Again?

Yah

       Im a draghuh

No. No not necessarily.

                              They represent what you’ve had trouble all your life summonsing.

    That’s a hint, Dad.

Jesus baby I strike you as a Sherlock a private dick  able to take a hint

                                                                              Methinks not

Methinks?

               We’re treading some awfully deep water.

Deep

         And black

Awright awright. The flags at the stupa signify, hold onto your hat, compassi . .

. . Thas it

           Cant ever seem to remember tha

   For some reason.

Don taunt me

For some reason your troubled sense ofNo . . not troubled no sense of compassion.

                                                                                      You drive a hard bargain.

Blame your grandmother  Got tha from her

                                                  Compassion earned not doled out

Doled?

Yah

        Your compassion your empathy your mother

Curious wha we learn or do not learn from our parents

Compassion unrecognisedno way coud ever have setup housekeeping inside me

I have a wordwords for it

A word, words?

                    For your lack of it?

Yah

You’re killin’ me all ears.

Playin a sap

    A sap?    I think I know. Want to clarify?

Gullible

Easily swayed by sentimentality  Overly emotional  Naïve

Someone not sensible not strongwilled

    Foolish

Took you a bit to get ‘round to that. Had to bite your tongue.

he stuck his tongue out at her

                                 Ah I leed ing

No.  Your tongue’s not bleeding funny guy.

2233,  Tuesday,  6  5. 25

1314,  reggaefriday,  9  5. 25

Wanda asked me if I was a professional.

Sorryscuse me   A step back

                                 Wanda

I didn’t say her name was Wanda?

Id remember Not a common name if it is Ive not heard it often Ive met only one Wanda in my life

    You don’t watch porn?

almostalmost  took a breath

                              Thas a leap

Lotsa porn Wandas, Dad.

I did not know tha

Now you do.

Now Ill never forget

                       Acidetched in my brain

I didnt mean to interrupt

                              If you were a professional wha

Asked me if I was a professional empath.

An empath can be professional I thought tha was someone who empathises with others

Evidently people make money being empathetic.

No Shit   Didnt know tha

                              I imagine you thanked heryou werehad to be  somewha flattered

I was.

Anya are empathetic

You think so?

Know so

           Youve worked hard at becoming who you are You connect deeply with others however not at your expense

You have strong selfcare youre able to set boundaries you protect your emotional wellbeing

Ohmy.

        That means a lot coming from you.

he smiled

            Anya understand thas from your mother not me 

she laughed

              Says the guy who declares at every opportunity or whenever pushed, your compassion is hard won.

    You know me so well

Being empathetic you can tell me I can only assume  it can be difficultdangerous  Id say  absorbing others emotional energies experiencing both their positive an negative feelings

Dad.  That was a mouthful.

It was wasnt it

                   Am I accurate

Yes.  she gazed at him

                           You certainly have your moments.

he nodded

             I have moments

But theyre only moments

You should give yourself more credit.

I prefer humble

You?

he laughedhowled

                        I try like a motherfucker

Oh man, I walk into that?

Fraid ya did

               Were wanderin  Wanda

Yes.

       I told her I wasn’t.

She told me I ought to be. Then she told me she was a psychic medium. She said when I shared with her about Aniela that Aniela has total love for me, surrounds me, holds me in pure love, that I should know that, that I should never doubt that, she said anyone who says otherwise has no idea what they are talking about, they’re trying to hurt me for whatever their reason is.

You have been confirmed again

                                  An without pursuing it  Unsolicited

I like your yoga festival Wanda

    Shes not a porn star right

JEEZ.                                                                               

2233,  Tuesday,  6  5. 25

1219,  reggaefriday,  9  5. 25

Kendrick Lamar  Humble  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvTRZJ-4EyI

. . . skinwalke . .

. . Sssh, you know you’re not supposed to say that out loud.

Because I would be summonsin . .

. . Sssh. Please.  Film scared the shit out of me.

You’re freakin’ me out a bit.

                               It was only a movie.

To you, to you maybe. I call it something else.

    Yee naaldlooshii?

What?

The film enthused me. My sister studied Native American culture, First People, in college, and collected a wide array of books. From one of the books, in Navajo culture, yee naaldlooshii is a harmful witch who has the ability to shapechange, possess, to disguise themselves as an animal.

It means “by means of it, it goes on all fours.”

rolling her eyes  Great.

Doesn’t that help?

No.

        If I have reason, and very rarely, to have to talk about it, it, I call it a flesh pedestrian.

she hadnt taken a breath   Flesh.   Pedestrian.

    Yes.

That’s original.   I have to hand it to you.

That way I can’t, it’s impossible, I can’t possibly summons it.

    Summons it. she rubbed the outside corner of her eye with her index finger   Summons.

Yes.

You’re a bit of a freak, you know that?

Maybe.    Maybe.

                     But I’m alive . . . and I’m not followed, not pursued.

Can’t say the same for you.

OhJesus.

2252,  Tuesday,  6  5. 25

1105,  reggaefriday,  9  5. 25

after beating him with the blunt object asana  she rocked him with a healthynear exquisite rightcross  grounding

            You remember how Aniela would do that?

When she went barefoot

Yes. I didn’t understand then why.

                                     We’d be walking and suddenly she’d pull up, stop, not say a word, take off her shoes, and we’d start walking again.

She didn’t say she was grounding.

I remember

She remembered that you told her when you were a kid, a teenager, you’d walk around, she said everywhere, barefooted.

I did A couplethree years during the summer  A high school kid

That’s what she said.

But I was only walkin barefooted  Barefooted

                                                 I wasnt grounding

    Or . or maybe . . maybejust maybe . . . . you were.

Thas a stretch baby

Or maybe not. Aniela believed, was convinced you were, though ignorant you were.

    Ignorant Yah   Im tha

                             Im confident Im more ignorant than not

I'd agree.

           Then there’s all those things you’re an absolute pain in the ass about. I can’t keep up with you and you just keep on keepin’ on.

Passionately.

Yah But we all enjoy things tha excite us incite us are accelerants

Accelerants.

                I like that, can I use it?                                                                                

Knock yourself out

                    I don own it didnt coin it

Anyone ever say that to you?

Not to me no

Maybe?

Who knows

               Make sense though

    I think you may own it.

If I do I didnt patent it  Run with it

I intend to.

So  your grounding experience was good

Yes. I thought of Aniela the whole time.

                                          It was like we were walking together

It was wonderful, a bittersweet treat.

Im a little jealous babe  Though very happy to hear

2155,  Tuesday,  6  5. 25

1006,  reggaefriday,  9  5. 25

grounding  https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-article/grounding-techniques-article 

Flow he asked

                 they were talking on the phone

Yes.

I donknow it

Flow?

Yah

     I don do yoga

You did she laughed

                             Once

An hurt myselfwell forego tha

she laughed louder   longer

 

 

    Content

stifling it took the phone from her face

                                                That was too fun.

Youre welcome

Thank you ohmy I’ve tears in my eyes.

Youre welcome

                          Flow

she cleared her throat

                     Flow. Flow refers to the smooth, continuous movement from one pose, that’s called an asana, spelt A  S  A  N  A, movement from one pose to the next. It’s often coordinated with a breath, breathing, creating a unified flowing practice, connecting the body, mind, with breath.

A  S  A  N  A

Yes.

Flow

Yes.

    Not ooze

spritely  Gush.

OH thawas excellent kiddo  excellent

Thank you. I’m a little proud.

Clever

I thought so.

                I also think the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

I may have blushed

Damn.

         Have to teach you how to do FaceTime so the next time I can see.

    Thall be a cold day in hell

One can always hope.

2159,  Tuesday,  6  5. 25

1143,  Thursday,  8  5. 25

buddy was going on and on and on

                                     had to cut him off ruthlessly

I thought you werent churchybrayin like you are

I’m not brayi . .

. . Then youre not listenin to yourselfsoundin like an ass whos backed into a barbedwire fence got his nuts in a twist

Jesus, how you talk.

Then yaint been listenin Im tellin ya on an on

                                                 Your point

That it was . . . was . .

. . Something else

    That’s too mild.

Too mild

Yes.

Balls in your court Put something on it

    You’re gonna think I’m nuts.

Define it well find out

I think . .

. . Think  guess  believe

    I think . . . I believe.

Sound a little tormented

Yeah.  Because I don’t normally talk this way.

You do not

            Spit it out youll feel better for it

Awright. Awright.

    Awright

Yeah.

        Id say . . . miraculous

Wow

 

    That’s all ya got

I got  howbout

                         Awfully fuckin lucky                                                    

438preferred,  Sunday,  27  4. 25

1109,  Thursday,  8  5. 25

Jefferson Airplane  Sunrise  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udr8ET-joZ0

a friend had hernia surgery

since hes not suffered a hernia and understands that in order to have one one would have had to obviously strained

         Wha didya do

I have no idea. I felt a swelling, could see it, decided to have a doctor check it out.

    No idea

None.

Ive an idea

    You have an idea why I had a hernia?

I do

This ought to be choice. What ya got?

Id say you were too enthusiastically tuggin your dick

Jesus.

   No

No.

Hmmm

                Anya cant lift more than ten pounds for six weeks

That’s what the surgeon said, that’s what the nurse said as she wheeled me out to the car when you picked me up.

Sorry man  better you than me

Why do you say that?not very nic . . .  grimacedpressed the surgery site with his wrist

Ya okay

nodded  lips  thin white lines  A zinger.

Gotcha

Whew whoo.

Your bodys suffered trauma

                               You can be as cerebral as ya want but your bodys gonna tell ya wha it needs anya fuckin don provide tha  don care for it as it needs . . . 

I know ya know

I know. I do. I don’t need a lecture.

    Better you than me

What's that supposed to mean?

Ten pounds

Yeah.

    Id be screwed

                             I woudnt be able to lift my dick to take a leak

1331,  Saturday,  3  5. 25

1000,  Thursday,  8  5. 25

Well kiddo youre a better man than me

                                             she admitted going to a forgiveness class held at yoga festival she attended as a volunteer  they called her an angel

obviously

            didnt know her like he did

I think you’re selling yourself short.

Think again

              Anyone who has legitly wronged me have I forgivenbetter yet  Have I not extracted my pound of flesh

    Revenge?

Retribution  They may think revenge

                                         My acts have been proportional not freaky  not irresponsible

I thinkI believe  believe  some were artful

Sadistic?

Ifso my mother was a good teacherNo

                                         I held them accountable

They probably thought theyd get away scot-free  free of obligation harm penalty

Not in my world

They encroached on meshoud have thought things through better

Ah.  But you’re granular, anally granular than most.

Thank you

You’re welcome.

                  Why do you think that is?because . you’re often brash.

Thank you

             Brash isnt rash

Ive understood consequences since I was a kid

                                                  I may be the only one of my siblingsNo No We were two  We learned our actions had consequences an takin action definitely understood if caught  wed be accountable

Its a beautiful thing

To beat a rap?

Yes

    Occasionally

Enough so tha it kept us coming back

                                         Irrepressible

A brother?

Sister

        The only one who paid attention to me

To what you said?

No

    By act

Saying means shit

Thasaid by your action attending the forgiveness class may have been a profound experience 

I had . . epiphanies.

I hope better than not

Better. Yes.  Harder. 

                        But better.

Im happy for you

Thank you.

Youre welcome

2002,  Tuesday,  6  5. 25

1238,  Wednesday,  7  5. 25

emptied his bladder

returning to bed he couldnt find the proper spot or position to fall back to sleep

                                                                                   he fell a long time

before bottoming out

                      aware becauserandomly  he hadnt put his cellphone turned off in his desk drawer in the studio

as he readied to turn in his daughter called

he took her to bed

when they hungup he hunkered downBAM  out like a light

    downside  of not falling asleep is his brain spasms twistssquirms like a late term chick inside an egg an once it began percolating he was intrigued

                                                  phone in hand

he began texting restless brain opines to himself

this morning he took a gander

texted six times  last at 0436

one in particular tickled him

                                :  :  Id sleep with a gun under my pillow, but since Im a restless sleeper I might shoot myself in the head

                                    theyd find him  Anyone find a note?

Look in my phone assholes

evenif he committed suicide he wouldnt leave a note

                                                        keepem guessin  though frankly theyd be very few an ofem most would let go of that kite stringlet it flutter upanaway in short order

                                                                                    wouldnt think mediating suicide was in anyones wheelhouse

one tried to breach his well hed send it packinwasnt curious why someone suicided its their life the one true thing human beings have own  to refuse coercion an all that others might try to heap onem

wasnt curious

hopeful they didnt leave a mess

a sincere suicide decider deserves a pill

                                           a spy cyanide capsule

since theyre unable to cleanup after themselves

  hes known a few

hurt his heart deeply

but they did what they needed to do for themselves

0253,  Wednesday,  7  5. 25

1028,  Wednesday

believe this episode was prompted by reading a line by Ocean Vuong:

                                                                                                                   The dream of a relationship unencumbered by reality is a dream of a poem unencumbered by prose.

https://nursingclio.org/2025/04/30/last-resorts/

United States Education Secretary Linda McMahon  a felon sycophant sickophants opening salvo in a letter to Havard explains that the federal government “has a sacred responsibility to be a wise and important steward of American taxpayer dollars.” 

scratched his head would counter  Methinks not:

                                                     https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/7000-troops-tanks-parachute-jumps-military-parade-coinciding/story?id=121410722

0857,  Wednesday,  7  5. 25

McMahon brays  https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnbc-opinion/harvard-trump-grants-doe-mcmahon-letter-rcna205180?cid=eml_mda_20250507&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951