after beating him with the blunt object asana  she rocked him with a healthynear exquisite rightcross  grounding

            You remember how Aniela would do that?

When she went barefoot

Yes. I didn’t understand then why.

                                     We’d be walking and suddenly she’d pull up, stop, not say a word, take off her shoes, and we’d start walking again.

She didn’t say she was grounding.

I remember

She remembered that you told her when you were a kid, a teenager, you’d walk around, she said everywhere, barefooted.

I did A couplethree years during the summer  A high school kid

That’s what she said.

But I was only walkin barefooted  Barefooted

                                                 I wasnt grounding

    Or . or maybe . . maybejust maybe . . . . you were.

Thas a stretch baby

Or maybe not. Aniela believed, was convinced you were, though ignorant you were.

    Ignorant Yah   Im tha

                             Im confident Im more ignorant than not

I'd agree.

           Then there’s all those things you’re an absolute pain in the ass about. I can’t keep up with you and you just keep on keepin’ on.

Passionately.

Yah But we all enjoy things tha excite us incite us are accelerants

Accelerants.

                I like that, can I use it?                                                                                

Knock yourself out

                    I don own it didnt coin it

Anyone ever say that to you?

Not to me no

Maybe?

Who knows

               Make sense though

    I think you may own it.

If I do I didnt patent it  Run with it

I intend to.

So  your grounding experience was good

Yes. I thought of Aniela the whole time.

                                          It was like we were walking together

It was wonderful, a bittersweet treat.

Im a little jealous babe  Though very happy to hear

2155,  Tuesday,  6  5. 25

1006,  reggaefriday,  9  5. 25

grounding  https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-article/grounding-techniques-article 

Flow he asked

                 they were talking on the phone

Yes.

I donknow it

Flow?

Yah

     I don do yoga

You did she laughed

                             Once

An hurt myselfwell forego tha

she laughed louder   longer

 

 

    Content

stifling it took the phone from her face

                                                That was too fun.

Youre welcome

Thank you ohmy I’ve tears in my eyes.

Youre welcome

                          Flow

she cleared her throat

                     Flow. Flow refers to the smooth, continuous movement from one pose, that’s called an asana, spelt A  S  A  N  A, movement from one pose to the next. It’s often coordinated with a breath, breathing, creating a unified flowing practice, connecting the body, mind, with breath.

A  S  A  N  A

Yes.

Flow

Yes.

    Not ooze

spritely  Gush.

OH thawas excellent kiddo  excellent

Thank you. I’m a little proud.

Clever

I thought so.

                I also think the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

I may have blushed

Damn.

         Have to teach you how to do FaceTime so the next time I can see.

    Thall be a cold day in hell

One can always hope.

2159,  Tuesday,  6  5. 25

1143,  Thursday,  8  5. 25

buddy was going on and on and on

                                     had to cut him off ruthlessly

I thought you werent churchybrayin like you are

I’m not brayi . .

. . Then youre not listenin to yourselfsoundin like an ass whos backed into a barbedwire fence got his nuts in a twist

Jesus, how you talk.

Then yaint been listenin Im tellin ya on an on

                                                 Your point

That it was . . . was . .

. . Something else

    That’s too mild.

Too mild

Yes.

Balls in your court Put something on it

    You’re gonna think I’m nuts.

Define it well find out

I think . .

. . Think  guess  believe

    I think . . . I believe.

Sound a little tormented

Yeah.  Because I don’t normally talk this way.

You do not

            Spit it out youll feel better for it

Awright. Awright.

    Awright

Yeah.

        Id say . . . miraculous

Wow

 

    That’s all ya got

I got  howbout

                         Awfully fuckin lucky                                                    

438preferred,  Sunday,  27  4. 25

1109,  Thursday,  8  5. 25

Jefferson Airplane  Sunrise  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udr8ET-joZ0

a friend had hernia surgery

since hes not suffered a hernia and understands that in order to have one one would have had to obviously strained

         Wha didya do

I have no idea. I felt a swelling, could see it, decided to have a doctor check it out.

    No idea

None.

Ive an idea

    You have an idea why I had a hernia?

I do

This ought to be choice. What ya got?

Id say you were too enthusiastically tuggin your dick

Jesus.

   No

No.

Hmmm

                Anya cant lift more than ten pounds for six weeks

That’s what the surgeon said, that’s what the nurse said as she wheeled me out to the car when you picked me up.

Sorry man  better you than me

Why do you say that?not very nic . . .  grimacedpressed the surgery site with his wrist

Ya okay

nodded  lips  thin white lines  A zinger.

Gotcha

Whew whoo.

Your bodys suffered trauma

                               You can be as cerebral as ya want but your bodys gonna tell ya wha it needs anya fuckin don provide tha  don care for it as it needs . . . 

I know ya know

I know. I do. I don’t need a lecture.

    Better you than me

What's that supposed to mean?

Ten pounds

Yeah.

    Id be screwed

                             I woudnt be able to lift my dick to take a leak

1331,  Saturday,  3  5. 25

1000,  Thursday,  8  5. 25

Well kiddo youre a better man than me

                                             she admitted going to a forgiveness class held at yoga festival she attended as a volunteer  they called her an angel

obviously

            didnt know her like he did

I think you’re selling yourself short.

Think again

              Anyone who has legitly wronged me have I forgivenbetter yet  Have I not extracted my pound of flesh

    Revenge?

Retribution  They may think revenge

                                         My acts have been proportional not freaky  not irresponsible

I thinkI believe  believe  some were artful

Sadistic?

Ifso my mother was a good teacherNo

                                         I held them accountable

They probably thought theyd get away scot-free  free of obligation harm penalty

Not in my world

They encroached on meshoud have thought things through better

Ah.  But you’re granular, anally granular than most.

Thank you

You’re welcome.

                  Why do you think that is?because . you’re often brash.

Thank you

             Brash isnt rash

Ive understood consequences since I was a kid

                                                  I may be the only one of my siblingsNo No We were two  We learned our actions had consequences an takin action definitely understood if caught  wed be accountable

Its a beautiful thing

To beat a rap?

Yes

    Occasionally

Enough so tha it kept us coming back

                                         Irrepressible

A brother?

Sister

        The only one who paid attention to me

To what you said?

No

    By act

Saying means shit

Thasaid by your action attending the forgiveness class may have been a profound experience 

I had . . epiphanies.

I hope better than not

Better. Yes.  Harder. 

                        But better.

Im happy for you

Thank you.

Youre welcome

2002,  Tuesday,  6  5. 25

1238,  Wednesday,  7  5. 25

emptied his bladder

returning to bed he couldnt find the proper spot or position to fall back to sleep

                                                                                   he fell a long time

before bottoming out

                      aware becauserandomly  he hadnt put his cellphone turned off in his desk drawer in the studio

as he readied to turn in his daughter called

he took her to bed

when they hungup he hunkered downBAM  out like a light

    downside  of not falling asleep is his brain spasms twistssquirms like a late term chick inside an egg an once it began percolating he was intrigued

                                                  phone in hand

he began texting restless brain opines to himself

this morning he took a gander

texted six times  last at 0436

one in particular tickled him

                                :  :  Id sleep with a gun under my pillow, but since Im a restless sleeper I might shoot myself in the head

                                    theyd find him  Anyone find a note?

Look in my phone assholes

evenif he committed suicide he wouldnt leave a note

                                                        keepem guessin  though frankly theyd be very few an ofem most would let go of that kite stringlet it flutter upanaway in short order

                                                                                    wouldnt think mediating suicide was in anyones wheelhouse

one tried to breach his well hed send it packinwasnt curious why someone suicided its their life the one true thing human beings have own  to refuse coercion an all that others might try to heap onem

wasnt curious

hopeful they didnt leave a mess

a sincere suicide decider deserves a pill

                                           a spy cyanide capsule

since theyre unable to cleanup after themselves

  hes known a few

hurt his heart deeply

but they did what they needed to do for themselves

0253,  Wednesday,  7  5. 25

1028,  Wednesday

believe this episode was prompted by reading a line by Ocean Vuong:

                                                                                                                   The dream of a relationship unencumbered by reality is a dream of a poem unencumbered by prose.

https://nursingclio.org/2025/04/30/last-resorts/

United States Education Secretary Linda McMahon  a felon sycophant sickophants opening salvo in a letter to Havard explains that the federal government “has a sacred responsibility to be a wise and important steward of American taxpayer dollars.” 

scratched his head would counter  Methinks not:

                                                     https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/7000-troops-tanks-parachute-jumps-military-parade-coinciding/story?id=121410722

0857,  Wednesday,  7  5. 25

McMahon brays  https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnbc-opinion/harvard-trump-grants-doe-mcmahon-letter-rcna205180?cid=eml_mda_20250507&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951

Michael Shermer is a sceptic

                                 Shermer would prefer skeptic

Tough

he wrote about a man who while a young boy listened to Roosevelts Fireside Chats on the familys radio

    a Philco Lowboy console

somehow it broke  but by then television was becoming the rage and the family owned three

his parents passed away

the house was left to him

when he married they held the ceremony in the spacious backyard on the lawn

midway through it music began playing inside the house the song was a favorite of his parents

unable to help himselfhe excused himself to his fiancée and rushed inside  he stood before the radio until the song was over and when it ended the lighted dial flickered flickered  dulled

                                                                                       and went out

it never worked again 

Shermer was sceptical

reading the passage he was not

                                   as a boy his family had a handmedown Zenith portable black and white television set

it broke

there wasnt money in the family budget to have it repaired

    one Saturday he read in the newspaper that the Wizard of Oz was going to be televised  a weekend matinee

he dug the moviehe thought  What the hell

plugged the television into the wall

turned it On

turned it to Channel 9

there were ten minutes before it would air

as he sat before it on the threadbare carpet his mother entered the room from the kitchen What are you doing? she asked

The Wizard of Oz is going to come on

she saw he had plugged it in 

the screen was black

The television doesn’t work.

No  It hasnt

    she shrugged I suppose you’ll see.

I suppose I will

                 aneven as he said it he was willing it be  he had nothing to lose

she went back into the kitchen to continue preparing food to make dinner

                                                                             she yelled  It’s a beautiful day.

You ought to go outside and enjoy it.

at One PM on the wall clock above the television and stand nothing appeared on the screen

matinees usually began with their host boring him to tears with their introductions

at OneOfive the screen flickered flickered

                                            then flickered to life as the host concluded

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_M1IpBxoQ3U

he heard his mother drop something a bowl he thought  it broke

                                                                     she rushed in  What did you do?

he was tempted to ask her what she did  Nothing  he said

                                                                 Im watchin the Wizard of Oz

436preferred,  Sunday,  27  4. 25

1225,  Tuesday,  6  5. 25

    he was happy that was over

                          Sheesh

what did he do to deserve that    forum

    he knew he didnt have to do anything to provoke himselfwaylay himself accost  himself

he was a masochist

his mother a sadist

    he was perfectly conditioned for dreams to torment himnot nightmaresnever nightmares at worst a baad dreeam

               actually

he believed his dreams were decadent    streaming  he binged

                                                                    who needed on-line  

thatsaid

           he still wandered in from time to time youtube   for intellectual tokes               

he found transhumanism there Ofcourse he woud

                                                   Christians fear it

he found “History provides he liked supplies constant tests of what your religion is for and there is no end until the end, right?”

                        a pet peeve right?

he found “Every moment (is) a moral test.”  

                                                         grateful it didnt concluded with right?

 

    intellectual tokes

occasional pro hockey and football highlights

                                                highlights  because he couldnt endure the commercials

not that masochistic

                   and because without choice  he had to endure static tic tik tok breaks in his dreams

 

    intellectual tokes

invited by what he read in one book or another whoYes Who  who challenged him more than people when he interacted would  or could

                                    their concerns usually had nothing to do with his

his had nothing to do with theirs

at cross purposes

would likely provoke crossness

                                   one or the other nailed to one  desirable

out and aboutwhether he meant it or not he was a provocateur and frankly he understood the last thing people out and about needed in their lives was him stepping on their toes

fortunately

                   he lived alone

     he was a handful

436preferred,  Sunday,  27  4. 25

1106,  Tuesday,  6  5. 25

Ezra Klein/Ross Douthat  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVn0jNxz_cE

Transhumanism  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVJEtY-2kL0

harrassed all nightyes 2 Rs   amplifying just how much he was harrassed

                                                                                        FORUM

bound  bulletpointed  as his sketchybecause interrupted dreams unrolled unfurled unfolded

and when it did the frame containing it shuddered flickered remained on screen

                                                                                     FORUM FORUM FORUM FOURUM

clever

    what forum

what place  situation in situ meeting conference assembly  to exchange ideas  to discuss issues  issued DIDNT

         stubbornly remained in frame  shuddering flickering

and given this situation  forum    it wasnt budgingwould  in its own good time

                                                                                       he played

flopped it over a onceover egg

                              rumfored

rumored

favored

flavored

          rum   for rum 

rummy

random

ran dumb

freed

            apparently a static a tic a commercial break in his dreamhis dreams

 

then it occurred again

                                            was freed

    reoccurred

                   he found if he patientlyremained in a hypnopompic state images found their way through the letters around their edgesimperfect images  incongruent   though fascinating

                                                                                         and finding that

entertained by that

FORUM retreated

                                             ceased

quietly he hummed the music that went with the words

                                                           Goin’ to heaven putting on my shoes I thank Gawd Im free at last  Ill walk round spread the news  I thank Gawd

Im free at last

                                        

overnightmorning,  Tuesday,  6  5. 25

0947,  Tuesday

Soul Stirrers  Free At Last  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE8kb93xBHg