had been flying

crosscountry

back again

meeting his ride at the curb he got in and said Terminal

bro replied Terminal?

Yah  I still have a hard time with tha

                                        Yad think it woudnt affect me since I only fly once a year

Terminal.

            What’s with that?

Id rather theythe recorded loudspeaker system say   concourse

So you don’t distinguish between the two?

Howso

A terminal is comprised of several concourses.

No  Theyre coequal

I disagree.

Youre right

            Like men an women coequal Theyre not   Women are superior

We’re coequal.

Fuck we are

              Youre living proof men are at a deficit  deficient

I pick you up and you berate me?

Im not berating you brother

                               Plain truth

Whatever.

            What’s your hangup?

Terminal or not coequal

Terminal, Christ.

Whaelse is terminal

What do you mean?

Us

      Were terminal   I really need to be reminded of tha when I fly

                                                                         If all the folks who suffer fear of flying  dig  aerophobia . .

. . Yamade that up.

Did not  Fuckin phobias for every fear

                                          Coprophobia  Fear of shitting  Imagine  Kakorrhaphiophobia Abnormal fear of failure or defeat Cant imagine  Athazagoraphobia intense or irrational fear of being forgotten or of forgetting someone something

Nothing to fear but fear itselfJeez

                                    My point is all those folks who fear flyingmedicate themselves last fuckin thing they want to hear at an airport is  terminal

   You been storing this up for awhile?

Canya tell

            Thanks  I appreciate the ride your ear

0558,  2sday,  17  9. 24

1259,  Saturday,  28  9. 24

   obstinacy

obstinate

   Yah

“But because the violence of my early life when I could put a name to it, even a terrified name, I remember details of it very vividly, as well as the fact that none of it ever affected my habitual (you could say even feline) curiosity, despite my awareness of what the results of such curiosity were likely to be. I, like too many other children in my predicament, had discovered that I possessed one ultimate weapon against abuse: obstinacy . . . Humiliation and obedience, ultimately, were and are more dreadful solutions than resistance, even if the latter results in painful defeat, because in resistance lies self-respect.”

                    Caleb Carr  My Beloved Monster: Masha the Half-Wild Rescue Cat Who Rescued Me

 

he entertained anal

admitted to his daughter he was

                                   Yathink? she responded

Hold on a second

                    Arent you curious how I arrived at my assessment

No.

Really

I’m teasing, of course I am. How?

   I was giving it some thought It occurred to me all these years Ive been very thorough

Very thorough.

                 Though that’s who you are.

Thank you

You’re welcome.

Yes Granular  I enjoy research

Minutiae.

I do

History.

          You constantly drag me through years that precede your explanation, help define your argument.

I do because it is critical to understand tha something has had to come before  thathey create the chain of events which culminate in what I understandbelieve  is the present

Always. Laboriously.

Boringly

   Sometimes.

Perhaps

Not perhaps.

You slay me

              Anywho   I was thinking

Maybe my thoroughness is analness

I am anal

Papa. However you want to describe yourself I’m cool.

Thanks baby

You’re welcome.

 

anal didnt fit

he went back to being thorough

                                  however

while reading Carrs passage it occurred to him that he was that

                                                                     obstinate

stubborn  hardnosed  fight or fight no flight

adored confrontation

provocative

ASSertive

   factual

maddeningly so

circled his wagons

his chainlinks blacksmithed wrought by vigorous blows

 

   obstinate

                 not anal

he had to call his daughter to advise her

2230,  Thursday,  26  9. 24

1134,  Saturday,  28  9. 24

Friday all are reggaefridays

                               hes called it that for years his coinage  went over huge with his family and when they dropped it on others it stuck

how now reggaefriday

                         was an illuminating day once he brokeout of dreaming

which no small feat

leftie

      a female cat

roused himbumped his face with hers  hinted FOOD 

she was followed by the queen october shy firstborn bomb tomboy stood in the doorway FOOD

                                                                                  GET THE MESSAGE

he had for years

                   Awright gang Up an Adam colloquially up and at ‘em time but who likes colloquial  Time to get the show on the road

got his ass out of bed

had to make it first

Grrls bomber  Time to eat

they hustled into the kitchen

waiting outdoors were four ferals too

he was an ample provider

gotta to love pussy to be able to contend with eight

early afternoon 

work complete

he went on a walkread occasionally lifted his head when sensingkeening something may be afoot worthwhile presenting

            sometimes something was butifnot he wasnt one who ever lacked inspiration

shit fireworks went off in his head

never a dull moment

his blue eyes shined

 

in the evening he had a scheduled phone call with a friend

he had a habitwas  haBITCHualised

                                       while they yammered he liked to sip a Lizards Mouth beer

also habit was having a couple tidbits at the ready to share with her  curios

he ran into Dave Dyslexia Dave the Church Caretaker whose name he humourously recalled by the Cheech and Chongs bit  Dave’s Not Here  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dX8lZduI8ac

Dave however was not late to churchwas religious as a boy teenager he could stream psalms backwards

he was utterly unfamiliar with Cheech and Chong

    a tidbit

he picked up a Lizards Mouth nineteenounce can from a small local liquorestore whose attendant he was acquainted with she wore a tightfitting black tshirt emblazoned in elaborate white cursive font MULTITTASKER   across her tits

maybe because she wasnt young wasnt beautiful she could wear it to work

he was fifth in line

no one behind him

Heya

Hi. How are you?

I love your tshirt

her eyes startedshe blushed

No ones commented on it

                                  Youre blushing her rouge brightened

she cleared her throat

                          I’ve worn this on occasion onanoff for two years. You’re the first person whose noticed. Not even my boss has.

Maybe hes not a tit man

                           You might imagine I am her rouge became fiercer 

Threeeightyfine I have exact change

                                       he paid slowly with three  ones  two  three  a  quarter  six  dimes

counted them into her palm without looking up

by the time they completed the transaction her usual countenance was restored

he smiled

           I must say  blush looks good on you

it hustled back

he laughed

             Ill see next reggaefriday babe

A titbit  Whacha got for me

his phonefriend almost dropped hers

1524,  reggaefriday,  27  9. 24

1002,  Saturday,  28  9. 24

You know anent

    Anent.   No.

Me neither  Youd think one of us woud

You.

      Not me. You’re the wordsmith.

I cobble words together though Im repeatedly surprised how oftengiven my reading I discover ones Im unfamiliar with

An anent means?

Concerning  About

his expression went flat

A sentence

             Ill say a few words anent the letter

Ah, thank you.  Concerning about didn’t qualify it.

No  They did not appear to

                               Something else huh

Then not five minutes later campanile

Campanile. Campanile.  No.

                                  Can’t say that rings a bell either.

he laughed

               Was hoping youd go there

Go there?

Ring a bell

             A campanile is a bell tower particularly a freestanding one

A bell tower.

Yah

     Which unfortunately brings to mind the ’66 University of Texas bell tower shooting which killed if I remember right  better than a dozen   Fourteen

I do not remember the murderers the snipers name

                                                      Christ  I believe thamay have been the first school shooting

Anwe havent learned a fuckin thing in sixty years

American amnesia

                    Cant remember a fuckin thing from yesterday

I can’t believe you remembercan recall that.

                                               If you hadnt said I wouldn’t have remembered.

Another amnesiac

I wouldn’t say tha . .

. . I did

         Bell tower is nothing more than a Jungian word association

Campanile  Likely Id have ventured an Italian dessert

                                                          Or a paddle

Paddle?

Sex S an M  Appealing  Rihanna   Hot

                                           Jung woud pop a stitch Id reckon

Me too.

Howso

How your mind works.

All doors flungopen Gapin  Wide

                                    Take it Doors of Perception Huxley

Stop.

Ive just began

Yeah.

       I can’t keep up.

You’re too exercised.

Fuck no  just stretchin   

prior to 2sday,  17Sep '24

1250,  Reggaefriday,  27  9. 24

https://www.britannica.com/event/Texas-Tower-shooting-of-1966/The-shooting

Rihanna  S & M  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdS6HFQ_LUc

it began innocently enough

later went off the rails

the whole unexpected

Seat 34B

          Christ

last row middle seat

he parked his bag overhead Row22

                                      no need to carry it all the way back rows immediately before and after seats were filled only a few entering the craft behind him

he was considerate

then to his surprise

                      a knockout seated at the window 34A

Looks more like a 38doubleD

Shaddup

           

his Mariachi shehes heshes often provided unwanted commentary

                                                                                 Arya kiddin

Im not Annot tha I disagree

She cant hear

You effect my eyes

                     Anya know  Windows to the soul

But you havent a soul

Awright awright Howbout windows to peer inside through

Don look now

                Shes lookin

Yes she is

What did you do wrong

she smiled all teeth  amused 

                                Excuse me?

To be confined to the back of the plane

                                         Im aware of my transgressions We may share onetwo   Maybe more

she laugheddidnt cover her mouth which was appealing he hadnt the words how appealing

                                                                                                   Transgressions?

Have a seat. You can elaborate.

OhChrist Tell me you work at a brain factory

Brain factory?

Psych

In fact I do.

An overseer

Psychiatrist.

We talk you gonna charge

Not if you’re interesting.

Well kiddo I believe youll have your hands full

                                                  before sitting he extended his hand  Joe

Raquel.

cleared his throat into his fist 

                                 Any relation

Excuse me?

Welch

Oh stop.

OhHellno Take a compliment

Well . . alright . . . thank you.

Thank you

the flight was fouranahalf hours

                                   during brief interludes when they werent talking he fauxgazed out the window enjoying her profile the curve of her breasts the back of her shapely head

Montana  Were nearly over Missoula

Excuse me.

Over Montana

Oh.

     Raquel looked again facing the window murmured It’s beautiful. 

It is Nearing Missoula

                       his voice cracked surprised him   he teared up

turning she saw

                  Are you . . are you okay?

I I am

What? If I may ask.

he choked a bit voice upset  Todays my wedding anniversary

                                                                  An this is the closest weve been since she died

Shes buried ninety miles south of here We married in Hamilton  Spent two awesome years before we had to leave

We wanted family but unfortunately coudnt afford one in Montana

                                                                         Two wonderful years

Rachel reached out held his forearm

                                        I am sorry. My condolences. From our conversations, I take it, she must have been quite a woman. she chuckled

                                  You’re a handful.

You know it You know it

she squeezed his arm firmly

                               She was a lucky woman.

Yay thank you

                 Im an awfully lucky guy

1500 midair,  2sday,  24  9. 24

1119,  Reggaefriday,  27  9. 24

jeu

Louis Menards The Free World absolutely set him on fire

visiting his father he tried to explain Derrida

                                               Jacques Derrida French philosopher  Jeu  His scheme of play  The disrupter of presence stability  fixity caused by cente . .

. . Stop. Please.

                   Why would you think I’d be interested in any of this?

Why

Yes. Why?

Youre who taught me to be curious

                                       Taught me curiouser an curiouser

Ah.

     You did as I said . . . . not as I did.

    Not as you did

No.

     I didn’t have you until late in life. You understand I believe, it's hard to teach old dogs new tricks.

he laughedblurted a bolt a thick viscousHA HA  dog was one of his examples

                                                                                   Bear with me old man  Im your fault

Jeu  Play

            Within the system  phonemes . .

. . Phonemes?

Yes  I was going to explain since I now deeplydoubt  youd have a clue

                                                                           Phonemes  Dog has three phonemes D  O  G  Each phoneme has one letter  Theres fortyfour in all

Okay

Okay.

Within the system phonemes morphemes morpheme

                                                       Its the smallest unit of language that contains meaning  Dog is a free morpheme  The word incoming has three morphemes  in  come  -ing

Okay

Okay.

he could scarcely believe he was keeping his attention

                                                    This is cool   Within the system mythemes  They are units of narrative features used to compare myths from around the world

Your myth

My myth?

Whaya tell others of yourself thamay not  intrinsically be true  but how you identify

    Okay.  I get it.

And kinship roles

Family.

Yes though there are other kinships

Others?

Theyre broken down into consanguineal an expression swept his fathers face  Yes

Family. Blood relations.

Yes Parents children lineal kinship Siblings Collateral

                                                           Also affinal an social  Marriage is affinal  Social  Outside blood or marriage  Through community or church

Fascinating.

Really

Yes. Please continue your instruction.

he wasnt being facetious when he was it stuck out of his face like a sore thumb

                                                                             Happy youre diggin

Phonemes morphemes mythemes kinship are subject to substitutions an transformations  wha Derrida called jeu

Play

       Or game

Which are in addition to being curious as you taught me

                                                             Thank you

You’re welcome . . . I think.

Believe

         Thank you

You’re welcome. Who knew?

Didnt

       But you taught me to learn  An he gave his father a puzzledquestioning expression

the old man chuckled

                        The more you learn the less you know.

Yes You also taught me tha

prior to 2sday,  17Sep ’24

1215,  Thursday,  26  9. 24

https://magoosh.com/english-speaking/44-phonemes-in-english-and-other-sound-blends/#:~:text=In%20English%2C%20there%20are%2044,oo'%20sounds%2C%202%20diphthongs.

https://media-studies.com/mytheme/#:~:text=Think%20about%20their%20origin%20stories,could%20be%20considered%20a%20mytheme.

https://www.literatureandcriticism.com/structure-sign-and-play/#:~:text=According%20to%20Derrida%2C%20'Play%20is,about%20the%20presence%20or%20absence.

theyd known each other several weeks

when they met she admitted she wasnt normal

No Youre nuts

I am thank you – I’ve always found normal to be boring.

Boring muttered in his mind

                             he agreed

Im not either

Oh yes. I’m aware.

                      I know.

Aware

        Why

As an actress I observeI’m . watchful. Before we were introduced at the party I watched you. I purposefully remained at a remove so Aileen didn’t introduce us, she’s a superb host, hostess. If you watched you’d see throughout the evening she scouted the rooms, outdoors, poolside, making sure all of her guests were introduced. She does not assume, assume is incorrect – trust – they’ll take it upon themselves to make them, certain comfortable cliques form quickly at her parties.

My first invite Aileens a catch

                                      I wonder why she hasnt been caught

Her wealth.

            She’s confided I me . . . you’ll not out me an order, her money allows her to be the master, if you prefer, mistress, of her days.

She dabbles. She’ll not be caught.

                                      I understand you understand.

Really Kiss an tell

Yes.

      We’re friends fast friends.

So much for confidence

    she didnt say

                      rather she cleared her throat a lovely throat

he caught her meaning

                         cleared his to confirm

continued

           So  Not normal

Goodness no.

Imnormal

Im – normal?

In the vein of immoral

Ah.

     Clever.

Not really Strikes me commonsensical

                                           You

At a sudden seems I am.

You are

          I observe too

Oh. I see. she grinned  a marvelous smile

he couldnt help himself

                       Coud you email me a snap or vid of your imnormal

Youre photogenic

    I could.

             Can you be patient?

Imnormals are

Good.

         I have to thinkup an appropriate image.

Of course meant coarse certainly No rush

                                           Cant rush perfection I know you strive for tha

 

when he received it a vid  the moment he finished watching he called her

                                                                             OH  MY    GAWD

Something huh?

Ohmygawd

2302,  day-between-2-Ts,  25  9. 24

1036,  Thursday,  26  9. 24

Stones  You Can’t Always Get What You Want  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dfYcQ_r_x8

he was gone awhile

was an amazing time

now back  (out) to  (in)  the Real World in Real Time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IViXvcmdKB4 for whaever real is worth

           real  visiblyglitches in an out like a lousy cellphone connexion

a fine indication of how phenomenal a time he had reeling through familyfamilyfamily an friendsfriendsfriends

he laughs

               he can only manage it once a year for a week 

                                                                otherwise

hed overdose

not an ugly death

                    no contortions rubberspinespasms defying gymnastics an gravity

no vulgar brayed annihilatedexhorts no soul coud understand

no sputteringgasping breath

just OD

        OhDarn an death

    once a year is sufficient

                              an heartbreaking

an memorable

an no photographphotographs can capture or relate

a surrealreal

               once a year

now

      back from the hallucinations

when he closed his eyes  slept

                                 he dreamt a fine mist gentle shower arching fountains of rubyred blood  Busby Berkeley coudnt have fashioned it finer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSHGVDuS4fE

 

hes back

           for whaever thas worth

earliestAM,  day-between-2-Ts,  25  9. 24

1152,  day-between-2-Ts

Buffalo Springfield  For What It’s Worth  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80_39eAx3z8