I AM NOW 

                 that was too cryptic to walk past and not take notice  hell   even a cop could remember the license plate number

Montana license on the tail of an electric 4-door upscale sedan he didnt care which company  he wasnt a fan of automobiles

             they all lookalike not the stylish individualistic steel cars he grew up with that couldnt be more different than night an day

                     the world wasnt threatened then 

hence these Johnny-come-latelys 

I AM NOW

           what would that be

he paused long enough to take a piece of paper out of the book he was reading as he walked one could imagine his peripheral was terribly honed and jotted with the pen from behind his ear the particulars 

                                                                                           returning the paper to the book pen behind his ear he kept walkingreading

that was 1240 day-between-2-Ts 17  5. 23

the slip of paper surfaced 

the book returned to the library

what could they I AM NOW be 

the car was in a church parking lot

the lot was filled 

                    hurr  a lot of cars

the Community Church held worship in a hybrid format one is welcome in the Sanctuary or the Zoom Chapel 

Whoever you are and wherever you are on life’s journey, you are welcome to worship with us. We are an open and Affirming, Peace with Justice LGBTQIA+-friendly Church. 

I AM NOW

the Church also provides substance abuse counseling 

                                                          coudavebeen one of those days smackdab in the middle of the week best day if one is interviewing confiding

 

   I AM NOW

1102,  2sday,  20  6. 23

Zappa  Cheepnis  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckEP8KN2710

House Republicans returning their attention again to Democrat Rep Adam Schiff  their avid desire to censure himpound on their Majority chests

AZs Juan Ciscomani tweeted a statement 

                                            in part  “Schiff’s behavior has been irresponsible, dangerous and damaging to our country (he assumed our refers to that country that shares Republicans worldview – that they inhabit – that theyre not prone to share with Democrats and a large majority of coloured people  albeit Mr Juan Guadalupe Ciscomani III is brown). It is critical that the legislation to hold him accountable be constitutionally sound (Republicans love love love touting the Constitution when it serves their purpose is beneficial to their arguments – like theyre wearing big boy big girl panties) in order to avoid any games some will inevitably try to play.” 

NOW

       if Mr Ciscomani and his House ilk have read US v Trump-Nauta THEN theyd understand exactly what is irresponsible dangerous ILLEGAL and damaging to all people who comprise the United States of America and its territories – Puerto Rico  US Virgin Islands  Guam  Northern Mariana Islands and American Samoa

0930,  2sday,  20  6. 23

https://twitter.com/RepCiscomani/status/1670149019128012802?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=6/20/23%20%20Punchbowl%20News%20AM&utm_term=Punchbowl%20AM%20and%20Active%20Subscribers%20from%20Memberful%20Combined

 

https://www.justice.gov/storage/US_v_Trump-Nauta_23-80101.pdf?cid=eml_mda_20230614&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951

0000  midnight,  Thursday,  22  6. 23  PS  the farce censure completed  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uuTgUwWX04

Ah this word is rightup todays alley

You understand you’re not black?

Were all blackall people when you considerNo  rather understand that Africa is the cradle of mankind

                                                                                                            Our Eve was darkskinned

he rolled his eyes You really playing that card?

That card

You know what I mean.

I don 

       Please   Tell me

You’re white.

I am  However I am not vergangenheit volk 

                                              As I said  Rightup todays alley

German.  Where did you find that?

Correct Pulled it out of a book a rabbit out of a hat belongs to the authorhis vocabulary  was likely Cormac McCarthy likely The Passenger  His character used it in the sense tha people forget the past 

                                                                                       An to my mind if someone is reluctant to learn ourfrom our collective past improbable ofcourse to know it allbut not an excuse  ignoring its lessons calling someoneyourself for example vergangenheit volk  is preferable to calling them a dumb fuck

he clenched his hands  Are you calling me a dumb fuck?

If the shoe fits Cinderella

1440,  2sday,  30  5. 23

101preferred,  Monday,  19  6. 23

Children, children, CLASS.   Thank you. 

                                            Let’s everyone take their place, be seated, so we can continue with our lesson for the day. I hope you enjoyed recess, that you’re now refreshed, your minds renewed, and are curious. Today, as I described earlier, is Juneteenth. It is our Nation’s second independence day. It is a day to be remembered, and remembered, unfortunately, among so many days, years, eras of shame, for they are our history. If they are not learned, we are destined to repeat our errors, which have been terribly grievous. 

Frederick Douglass

                      . . . where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one class is made to feel that society is an organized conspiracy to oppress, rob, and degrade them, neither persons nor property will be safe.

0954,  Monday – Juneteenth, 19  6. 23

https://nmaahc.si.edu/explore/stories/historical-legacy-juneteenth  

https://www.tulsahistory.org/exhibit/1921-tulsa-race-massacre/

crossing the bridge over the creek he went to the far curb to walk beside into traffic

it irritated drivers that he wasnt on the sidewalk

it was in bad shape comparatively the street gutter wasnt as cracked upset uneven besides he read as he walked negotiating a crappy sidewalk woudbe distracting  hed rather attend to ingesting history

not fifty metres after crossingkeeping to the roadside out of his periphery in the street he glimpsed an unsightly coarse black smudge 

                it wasnt there a week ago 

no traffic

he took the book away from his face an investigated hoping it was dumped oil an adherent filth

NO SUCH LUCK 

                 someone picked the carcass off the road tossed it to the graveled shoulder where the creek ran 

a cat 

      it was for all intent an purposes a stark silhouette distinguishable crushed head body tail three legs

Dammit 

          almost wished he wasnt curious 

he was tempted  had he chalk hed give it an outline cops gave murder victims 

                                                                                   Oh snap 

human beings get the benefit distinction  consideration   scene of a crimeYes   drivers coud care less

   was on his way to the library  afterwards headed over to the 99cent store bought chalk returning he provided a rainbowcoloured outline it was picturesque  enough to make dead people situp an think they were cheated

144preferred,  day-between-2-Ts,  31  5. 23

324preferred,  Sunday – Father’s Day,  18  6. 23

Dolly Parton  Coat of Many Colors https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyP0Sy9KFf0

Your bath towel is frayed.

You were able to dry yourselfyah

Yes. But it’s frayed.

Yare frayed

   What do you mean?

If you were a towel given your wear an tear though functionalstill putting your best foot forward  whawoudya do with you

You’re comparing me to a towel?

Sharp  Just putting the shoe on the other foot 

                                                    In this circumstance whawoudya compare yourself with            

Nothing.

I thought so 

It’s not sightly.

Doesnt have to be 

                      It was functionalgot the job done dried your fanny

Yes.

Then wha more do ya want Its a tadbit frayed but functional 

                                                                    Lotsa of pretty things aint

For example?

Some dog breeds Bred genetically tortured for the sake of its appearance Thas dismal  I woudnt have a dog but if I did a mutt a vagrant  Lady an the Tramp  Tramp did awright   My cats in an out are feral 

This is a ridiculous conversa . .

. . Thaya began 

                 You think Im unaware  Theyre frayed    Goes without sayin

   I was just . .   

. . Ill repeat myself 

                      Yare frayed

1010,  Sunday – Father’s Day,  18  6. 23

1436,  Sunday – Father’s Day

almost got clipped just the other day   CSN&Y its gettin kinda long

                                                                           had stepped into the streethopped rubberbandback car whistled byblew a red 

                       Jesus he muttered nothing morewasnt going to get exercised  state evidently licensed onanoff again blind people to drive 

                                    in the next moment he chuckled 

not a week an a half earlier lousy timing three cars missed him in the crosswalk by a ten feet collectively two blew by one slammed on their brakeswere making a right looking left he assumed the Heisman Trophy pose book in the crook of one arm the other flexed hand widespread legup readying to vault onto its hood if it didnt stop

driver wasnt relieved he glared

his immediatethought go around to their dooryank em out into the street but then the provocateur woudve succeeded tough to tell to a cop He almost hit me  almost whastha  almost pregnant    almost is almost is almost 

drivers stopped at the light shook their heads he took them as sympathetic  though they may have been pathetic Aw that’s too bad, would’ve had a front row seat. 

                                                Bread and Circuses Roman poet Juvenal Panem et circenses

that was his demonstrably unsatisfying reaction                                    

righting himselfenjoying the riot in his head he continued walkingreading through the intersection

159preferred,  day-between-2-Ts,  31  5. 23

1120,  Sunday – Father’s Day,  18  6. 23

CSN&Y  Almost Cut My Hair  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v2nnQIiKOQ

Thank you  Thank you thank you thank you 

                                               he prostrated himself  he genuflectedthanked his neighbours across the way for being nonbreeders

they understood – Thank you – thathey were too selfishthey wanted things for themselves theyd have to forego if they had kids  they wouldnt be able to afford them until they were too old to appreciateulitise them  theyd have to lockup their weapons

               Thank you

ex-military he didnt expect them to invite him to their barbecues threefour times a week maybe standing burning pits in Afghanistan Iraq gave them their desire for seared flesh rather than chemicals an such 

                                                                                            ex-military X-educated

We didn’t make too much noise last night eh?

he saw the bluelight flickering in their livingroom window 

                                                           No evidently either/or had secured gags professionallytightly

theyd greet him Semper Fi

Yah

     he didnt have a militaryGI government-issued bone in his body thawas their composite meant something significant within their cadre  he imagined somewhere on their bodies it was tattooed

                                                                                           also not a venue he supported  

he thought of themthe military in gang terms  Blood-In  Blood-Out  equivalent mentalities he quit wondering about congenial intelligence quotients IQs  lowest rungs on the helix DNA-ladder 

                                                                               pawns for RIF reconnaissance-in-force probing enemy linescombat abilities

Oorah 

         he might have heard either scream during the bluelight leakin out of their livingroom

1909, Saturday,  20  5. 23

1743,  Saturday, 17  6. 23

Peter Paul & Mary  If I Had a Hammer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGMOB2K78iM

didnt mind being corrected when he was wrong 

                                                  no one shoud  one shoud accept the error of their way 

otherwise Shut your piehole 

Keep it to yourself

 

   he wasnt rustleddidnt take exception he accepted he was wrong he was a farcry from perfection

Possibly nearer defection an aside donmake more out of it than necessary its a good thing not to take oneself too seriously be able to laugh themselves  Sometimes he had a hard time stopping

however

         being corrected by WORD was difficult to swallow 

tougher when it corrected him two more times after he corrected it 

                                                                      Really bitched him 

Awright smartass  whabug crawled up your ass

he was talking to a machine 

he talked to machines to inanimate objects  paused for them to reflect to get back to him if they wished 

                                                                                                             typically a mute bunch 

WORD wasnt an exception

though it had to be corrected again an again before relenting

                                                                Jesus Thank you 

he was polite to the inanimate 

he reasoned that when the time arrived inanimate replied he wanted them to know he wasnt alien  he was a friendly sort 

    because a sorting was going to take place an flesh an bones might likely be flensed separated   having been Inanimate so long it might not realise the kindness to kill somethingsomeone before shuffling through their bodies

yeseventually theyd die but why die horribly  sorted limb by limb 

                                                                      Capeesh

Christ

Whaif they didnt speak English fingers crossed   maybe they coud read his mind or he coud mime 

                                                                                                         hands before him held shoulder height fingers widespread unthreatening  Gimme five then emphasising (WORD  Quit correcting mequit changing my Ss to Zs) Five  closing one hand pushing air with the opened widespreadfingers once   Five

queer to think he might have to negotiate with InanimateAnimated 

he wrote  was the

WORD corrected him 

                       wrote swathe 

as he said

a bug up its ass

1119,  Reggaefriday,  16  6. 23

1129,  Saturday,  17  6. 23

Buck Owens  I’ve Got a Tiger by the Tail  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGYE77y4qY4

not enough to be spun madly by pearlearring 

                                               madak Madduck  No  dak  Dak Whassup Dak   MadakYUP 

also the Seventeenth Century wading hipdeep

madak  Chinese 

                 Ever smoke opiumhe had hed recommend it   tasted an smelled like gentle coloured flowers

madak was a blend of tobacco and opiumIMAGINE smoking tobacco preceded smoking opium

prior in China opium was infused imbibed   medicinal

in the last quarter of the Eighteenth Century madak was phased out by raw opium 

                                                                                      Wha took so long

afternoon  approaching 2,  Reggaefriday,  16  6. 23

1049, Saturday,  17  6. 23

Octopus Diver  MindCage  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFuIPcDHoFs

Vermeer’s Hat  not the kind of book one familiar with Vermeer would think 

                                                                              still   a scintillating find and read

whenever he found more than he hoped to he was physically thrilled coud say cheapthrills 

he fixated on Vermeer the colon following was more like two eyeballs peering forward usually he disregardeddidnt pay attention to leeringprying eyes 

after the colon 

               The Seventeenth Century and the Dawn of the Global World 

which in turn helped him realise Super-Infinite eyeballs The Transformations of John Donne  Mr. Selden’s MAP of CHINA which meshedinhabited his reading of 1421 no eyes The Year China Discovered America an furthur 1599 sporting eyeballs A Year in the Life of William Shakespeare

he waded in up to his hips in the Seventeenth CenturyCOME ON IN  THE WATERS FINE 

he was fortunate to witness Girl with a Pearl Earring Vermeers best known work when it was exhibited in San Francisco at the Legion of Honor   breathtaking 

   all this made him giddyplayful 

                                   pearl earring  pearlearring  pearlparlaying pearlalluring  pearlleering 

                                                                                                             he certainly leeredthen learned discovered the pearl wasnt a pearl  it was too large  it was large as big as her eye  there is no tension in her earlobe no gravitationtug its weight should have affected 

                                                                          rather it was a glass teardrop varnished to lustre a bauble a bubble  scarcely weighed anything

confronted with that reality distracted

   a moment later

                      he disregarded the truth  not being a pearl did not make it not a pearl

ought to have tied him in nots knots 

                                     Awnuts

 

welcome to his world

      

1340,  day-between-2-Ts,  19  4. 23

0952,  Saturday,  17  6. 23

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2005/jun/05/biography.shakespeare 

Jim Reeves  Welcome to My World   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSAHrq1UfbM

he took pen paper clipboard to bed 

                                      was startledkicked out of his dreaming by its contentcharacters  overriding his lucid attempts to avertdivert steer subjects subject matter 

                                                            they were taking him for a ride

Give it a shot letssee whaya got

properly busted him on the jaw 

                                  he staggered backwards to the ropesguided him to a corner head coveredup between his fist elbowstucked protecting his ribs kidneys out of harms way he withstood the barrageTHE BELL took its sweet fuckin time 

   he didnt know where the fuck he was 

his corner holleredHERE HERE  he went  ammonia capsules righted himeyes popped

Im here Im here 

Youre here

I am Im back

                he figured they held rolls of pennies makes a difference when a fist doesnt compress

cutman worked feverously packed styptic into splits  taut skin overlaying bone 

                                                                                        Whadidyasay

What you said. 

I didnt

You telling me I didnt hear I heard.

guy fluttered like a moth at a lightbulb in the nightconsciously halflistened other half sometimes more off elsewhere 

You heard wrong 

Yeah. What did you say?

I said clipboard

                 Im sleeping with my clipboard

   I saw who you took home last night.

I dropped her off she needed a ride 

She wanted to ride you.

Wasnt in the cards

Would have been in mine.

he chided himhad long chided him since he proved to be a chronicfailed pusshound 

                                                                                       Lubricants in the bathroom 

Fuck you. chick baited him  there never was any lubricant in the bathroom 

                                                                          Shes definitely a clitbroad. 

Thamakes no sense

Half the time you make no sense, I ran with what you called her.

Ifya had any imagination Idve said How imaginative 

                                                           Clipboard 

Sleeping with a clipboard makes no sense.

Clipboard clipboard clipboard 

                               Epizeuxis  Havent said tha in awhile   CLIP  BOARD  Wrap your skullround tha  Please

600preferred,  day-between-2-Ts,  31  5. 23

1612,  reggaefriday, 16  6. 23

Aerosmith  Dream On  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89dGC8de0CA

Train Kept a Rollin’  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EvGn22Mplg

episodic dreamsmore than a little miffed tendered their resignations

he refused to accept them NO Comon  thinkbout it stick around its ebb an flow ebb an flow nothing more

they were upset with the recent advent of thematic cinematic dreams edgingelbowing their way in riding roughshod over their previews like shade thrown on poems short stories by epics by novels

You do lucid dreaming  You can inhibitstop em cold

   Yes But have you been paying attentionseen their trailers   Enticing

Blatantly seductive 

                     Youve been seduced 

When Ive wanted to be

                       Ive not to the best of my recollection  you have insight   neither to the best of my memory been sweptaway No one is influenced without wanting to be

Enticement isnt seduction 

Youve seen the trailers

Yes

And

They are welldone wellproduced

he smirked  Well 

                 when he saw their expressions  humourless   Youll excuse me I apologise

they accepted his apology

An old saying adage I know yare familiar  Whagoes round comes round Like fashion give it some time an whawas the rage the passion cools is sublimated  suppressed  then before you know it it reemerges  refreshed 

It never really went away

hips cockedshoulders setarms crossed chests  You dreamt a saga of devouring fresh shucked oyster all night

I did 

       Anwhy

they turnedlooked at one another shrugged collective

I don accept tha 

                    Hint   I believe a majority of you knowwere putoff     Anyone

sassy one stepped forward  I know

Iknowyaknow

                 Woudya inform your cohort 

Shes a whore 

Enough anger tinging his speech   Proper respect or Ill knock heads off  Shes a woman   Sometimes   Thasthe beauty of your shehe-hesheness Yah  

   Please continue

Thank you  she poutedtugged her lower lippunctuated her beautiful smile with deepdeepdeep dimples  cleared her throat demurely 

                  Bozo  Big Gulp 

YES  yes

            Stickround  Ya know how much I dig episodescliffhangers  breastfed on them  Flashhe smiled at her quicklyshed follow Gordon

2002,  Thursday,  15  6. 23

1150,  Reggaefriday,  16  6. 23

Aretha Franklin  Natural Woman  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cF0tf35Mbo 

   does a bear shit in the woods

does a bar 

thought his sister was being raped  rushed into the woods shot her assailantWhat did you do whadid ya do?

Do?   I saved you. I came arunnin’. I heard your screams. I . .

. . Youanidiot.  I werent screamin’ for my life, was screamin’ felt so damn good. 

                                                                                       Ya better bury ‘im. 

he did 

        carved into a nearby tree  D. Boone CillED A BAr 

he shit wherever he had to 

                             shat in woods jungles in rank twolane highway gas stations where he stood on the porcelain squatdeeply under him surly stinking stews  did as he learned in Nam  never came across a Vietnamese who bitchedbout hemorrhoids  there had to be something to it

made sensewas good practise 

                                he recommended it to new bars who arrived incountry not knowing their risk  war wasnt going well  officers fragged  but they were youngagile  Boots on the toilet sir squat thaway least got a chance  You can hurl yourself back up an over the partition  put it between you an the blast 

                                                                                 Anif I were you ya find out who Shoot em

Write a letter home  Lie

he shat in bluecoloured honey huts  infested with black widows  once a rattler that didnt strikeonly wanted out  shat in creakin old wood outhouses 

                                 whenhe had to go hehad to go 

seems itd go for women too

                              although he understoodlearned that a majority didnt much care tohis girls didnt care to when they were little  held them by their thighs above the rim above the warm miasma  they steadied themselvesheld two heapinhandfuls of his hair  reason why he wore it longer

in their teens their disdainresentment for them grew taller than they were  No way, I’m holding it. You find a restaurant real quick.

Theres a gas sta . .

. . Restaurant.

Jesus

years later they confided it was more than needing a toilet  it had been their time of the month

Why didntya just say

It’s embarrassing.

The hell its natural

Not really Dad, not really.

Idve thought you bein my kids youd have a good healthy attitude about it

Good healthy?

Yah 

       Ohshit  Tell me ya didnt let it stop you from making love 

What?

Ohmygawd  I ought have tests done yamay not be mine  For tha matter your mothers  It made for slickslippery fun Only drag was cleaningup afterwards the bedding

Oh my God Dad. 

No you don get to awmygawd meNope  No way

That’s unsanitar . . 

. . Christ its only blood  I eat my steaks blackanblue   Ate my women too 

                                                                               Auditioned to be Bozo the Clown 

I know on one hand    Huh  Though Id have to include myself to make a majority  whod want a straw to dip into an sip the Big Gulp

thatbout flipped em

after midnight during a hot bath,  Thursday,  15  6. 23

1134, Thursday

Wharya goin boy

I was going to bed 

No yaint 

         Yer gonna get this down

its finger were cut off 

                       didnt have a choice 

Yaready

I am ready

Quit sounin like a whiney bitch

he was biding his time

he was young

hed grow bigger

itd grow older

thered be a day of reckonin an hed be as ruthless as it pursued him

   karmas a bitch

after midnight,  Thursday,  15  6. 23

Eric Clapton  After Midnight  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkWccgl-9vs