Gene Hackman

suddenly awakened out of pure blackhe usually dreamed  made him feel awkward inept 

he hadnt been compelled by his bladder or bowelswhich would have been sound reasons to wake nobody wants to soil their bed 

         he rolled onto his side and saw the clocks hands read 2:37 a battery-powered travel alarm his wife swore by

now forty years old and since she couldnt be beside him it was there in her stead 

                                                                                    far cry from 3AM the witching hour which he didnt anticipate he was adept at placing kernels in his head if he set alarmsthough usually woke prior to them the hour did not compel himThe power of Christ compels you! he laughed Ah  that tickled him whenever The Exorcist jumped in with both feet like Indiana Jones crucifix rather than bullwhip the dynamic duo  inevitably they triggered in his head the phrases origin from the Catholic Rite of Exorcism  I adjure you, ancient serpent, he liked snakes by the Judge of the living and the dead, by your Creator, and the Creator of the world, by Him who has power to send you to hell. Depart immediately with fear and with your army of terror. Depart from this servant (name), who takes refuge in the bosom of the Church. 

                       he preferred the clipped version I adjure you, ancient serpent…to depart from this servant of God, whom almighty God has made in His image. Yield, therefore, yield not to my own person but to the minister of Christ. For it is the power of Christ that compels you. 

                                           he was certain he wasnt wakened to recite those passages in his head

Wait for it 

Woud you go back to sleep to one of his inner Mariachi

Sleep  I was but you woke me with your mumblingtumbling words longwindedness heshe shehe looked around Christ Appropriate  Its the middle of the night

Yah

So Im tellin ya  Wait for it 

For wha

Patience Crazy ya can prattle on with memorised passages but you cant wait . .

. . I don wait

I know you say you believe tha  though sometimesboobie ya don have a choice This is one of those times

he cradled one hand in the other behind his head  his shoulders groaned

Thas not comfortable

No it is not

Woudnt ya rather be comfortable while you wait

No I woud not Perhaps my duress will hasten whatever this process is

It coud be sadistic

Which woud be the only place in my existence if I was

Makes sense

Go back to sleep

Nah 

      Ive counseled you to wait  Im of my word

We are 

his shoulders were displeasedached

their groaning woke other inners Wha the hells going on

Were waiting

Waiting for wha

No idea 

         so those who woke waited too

the room was filling

 

    a belch  a smoky breathgasp 

Wait for it 

then hethey heard a solemn voice repeat  over and over repeating for him to memorise so when he went to sleep and woke again hed remember 

                            The big horse caught me in the mouth with a hoof studded with nails The big horse caught me in the mouth with a hoof studded with nails The big horse caught me in the mouth with a hoof studded with nails . . .

he took his arms down 

his shoulders sighed gratefully At last 

   the voice became more and more quiet until it utterly subsided

he cheated he kept paper and pen beside the bedscribbled it down

the Mariachi turned in

they left him wide awake

he closed his eyes

eventually hed fall asleep

he wasnt one to submit to sleeplessness and get up

he was going to get wha he went to bed for

taking its sweet time his hypnagogic state finally swept over him 

                                                                    he dreamed

he dreamed of going to a night clubmaybe Rick’s Café Americain with Gene Hackman  Hackman invited him 

waking in the morningclocks hands said 8:03 

                                                time to wake

his mouth was dry

                    despite thatlaughing like dirt he recited The big horse caught me in the mouth with a hoof studded with nails 

            he had memorised it

   Whawas he going to do with tha 

237AM,  Thursday,  10  11. 22

1103,  Thursday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpyg94OzHK0 

Mogwai  Take Me Somewhere Nice  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK1zCi0z_Hk

 

   Unbelieveable

                      the former brushed the cobwebs and fairydust off his self-professed Stable Genius acclaim fart hasnt learned a thing since Saturday 1 January 2018  however he did forget that then he tweeted he was a very stable genius 

          Coud suppose thas takin it down a notch 

HUR

1403,  Thursday,  10  11. 22 

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/facing-gop-blame-midterms-trump-pushes-stable-genius-line-rcna56616?cid=eml_maddow_20221110&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951&utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=TRMS%2011/10/22&utm_term=Rachel%20Maddow%20Show  

https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/06/politics/donald-trump-white-house-fitness-very-stable-genius/index.html

Fercryinoutloud Dad, sometimes I have trouble following your letters.

Ill assume my liberal play with phonetics You shoud recognise your generation will probably be the last raised taught phonetics Whas your hangup

I’m not hungup . . uninhibited . .

. . I D

she spelled U N I N H I B I T I D. Correct?

Right on correct

Why?

All the freaking Is pleased mepleased my eye Didnt change up its phonetics one iota did it

No. No.  Looks freaking weird, odd.

Isnt uninhibitid freaking odd

I could tell you stories . .

. . You coud tell me stories . .

. . I could tell you stories . .

. . Im all ears

Goes no further than here?

Comon ya know better than tha I coudnt keep tha promise   No way

No.

Not at all

Change names to protect the innocent?

Coud  possibly however alacrity is a spice real names afford   Nah

Jesus Dad . . hard bargaining with you.

Theres no bargaining ya know tha 

                                     Writers are backstabbers they use confidential material eventually because everything is material whether professed off the record or not itll emerge in fact or fiction  Just being honest ought tocant expect anything less

Yes.  There is that Dad

So blow my mind Uninhibitid

Snowballing . .

. . I don know what tha is

  Truly?

I woudnt say otherwise woud I

No, you readily admit your ignorance.

Ouch yahave to be so curt

Me curt . . you?

Nevermind  Good point

                         Snowballing

Someone gives head then passes the cum from their mouth into anothers . .

. . Denies themselves gobblegobble . .

. . Fercryinoutloud.

I can one upya

Think you can one up that?

Yes 

      Ready

Gimme a second to gather myself.

Lemme know when yare girdled

 

  Awright.  Whatcha got Dad.

Whas with the inflection on Dad

See ifya might spare me . .

. . Never Ive never pulled a punch with either you or your sisteryour mother for tha mater   he heldup

  Mater?

           Really?

Sure Whyknot  The three of you are intelligent enough to take em

K N O T?

Yup

Of course.  Hit me.

Ive heard tell of sucking cum out of a mans anus a gay thing  Im thinking jelly rolls . .

. . Oh fercryinoutloud!

Spoil your appetite for jelly rollsbismarks

she laughed Only momentarily.   There. I’ve pithed myself . .

. . Pissed . .

. . No Dad.  You heard me.

I did

I know you did.

An I gotta tellya when I heard it it made sense Did you know theres a name for it

I may know . . . offhand I can’t think of it . . 

. . Felching

she growled in her throatdiscomfort Yes.

But it makes sense felching

Sense?  Howwhat way?

For the same reason snailsescargot are fed cornmealoatmeal before theyre eaten . . 

. . Dad.

Dad  I like tha tickled ya dropped the inflection  

1930,  ReggaeFriday,  4  11. 22

1549,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  9  11. 22

 

    I  a being   I is Being 

                             I  is being for things I believe in and against those I do not

But ohman I gotta leaveIm leaving it to him he his I sense something coming down the pipe that I didnt want to be drawn into seek a safe deniable distance hehim cretinous coudnt help himself  kraazy chick kept coming to his tablerefusing to sit but then shed put her foot up on the edge of the table she was wearing a skirt white cotton panties  hard not to noticeharder to look away  HesIm a guy 

                                           So Im leaving her to himdon need nonsense in my life 

he didnt mind he confessed she reminded him of grade school Catholic girls

she returned to him twothree times after I left each time a touch more inebriatedconfessing things she did was for the thrillbecause What the hell, I’m young. 

he was enjoying her attention had to take it when he could 

                                                                         

the last she approached him put her foot on the table again she wasnt wearing panties Thawas something smiling ferallywidening her legs she asked  What are you looking at? 

                                                                 Im looking at you he said 

then looking up into her face he said An Im looking at you

HA! she blurtedspreading her legs real wide then slowly closed them I’m a little tipsyyou should take me home . take me . . and my friend home. 

                            My girlfriend.                                      

Girlfriend girlfriend or girl friend

Ah she nodded asif he made a sage remark . . there is a distinction . .

. . There is these days  I have friends no boyfriends

She’s my girlfriend.

he looked between her legs   Take you home  or my place

Depends on you, Sara’s game.

he looked up   Shes game because yare game or game on her own

Weeell . she’s not like me . . but she’s not unlike me eithershe helped me out of my panties . . gave me a deep kiss for luck.

Wellhell sobeit yare in luck 

they walked out of the bar togetherhis arms around their waists steadying themdirecting them  Sara and Tara Thelma and Louise crept cross his mind  Whawere the chances

Tara asked What do you drive?

I have a stationwagon . .

. . Are you kidding?old school?

Was my old mans He didnt drive it muchthough he loved how it looked  he liked showing it off in the garage

Tara leaning forward around him Sara! backseat's mine, I wanna sprawl out.

Ohgreat. Sara wasnt talkative

                                 he thought she might not really be keen on Taras proposalthat she had left it to him  although as they walked he copped a feel  little tit  firm  her nipple responded to his touch

he leaned them against the back quarter panel unlocked the car opened the back door for Tara and helped her in she crawled in on her face her hips up her skirt around her waist Jesus wha a sight Sara in his arm he closed the door at Taras heels 

             She’s something huh? Sara asked 

She is tha

She's uninhibited . . that’s what attracts me to her.

Uninhibited

Absolutely!  Impeccably.  

walking around the front of the car he asked her if they lived togethershared an address

You taking us home? Not your place? 

Im takin ya home I couldnt believe he said tha wasnt his usual stylewas he rubbing off on him  SHIT   

That’s sweet.

Im not sweet They were not

Sara gave him the address

he opened the door for herheld her by the elbow to guide her in

she said Wai wai . . wait.

Yes

she nearly climbed him to kiss himkissed him feverishlydeeply he cupped her ass she grinded on him his mind gushed Maybe we take em home

                         he broke it offhis cock crying Wha the fuck man 

Into the car Sara  Don get me wrong Id love to have you and Tara under different circumstances  Out under the blush of booze

he helped her in

she mumbled again he was sweet

trussing her in the seatbelt he saw Tara reversed herselfhead to the door she was on her back legs wide masturbating blouse open bra yanked up over her breasts clutching one lapping her nipple eyeing him

Sara could hear 

                  I told you she was uninhibited . . whaever Tara wants she usually gets.

1930,  ReggaeFriday,  4  11. 22

1139,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  9  11. 22

Sarah Vaughan  Whatever Lola Wants  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-g5YNPzr8NM

 

    dream 

                 it looked odd to him this morningmaybe because it was written lowercase  DREAM bigger  DREAM   no  it remained oddlooking  

                              whawas tha about

on occasion words morphed in his eyes he saw them asif for the first time 

it reminded him when he would see his girlfriend hallie where he hadnt expected and immediately thought how beautiful alluring this women was hed have to tell hallie about her  then he realised it was her 

                                                                                             of course  dream dreaming to him  dreaming-self dreamed-self lucid dream should be utterlyblatantly ridiculous to be unfamiliar  he was more at home dreaming than otherwise

 

he presumedKNEW everything he dreamed was every bit an experienceevery bit a memory as fleshanblood experiences

his dreams as fleshy as bloody as real as every conscious nod afforded him 

dream  DREAM 

                 no idea    it was queerstrange  though he was happy seeing it anew  refreshed

    

1154,  Monday,  7  11. 22

Mogwai  Summon the Sacred Beast  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5cjuBI0jXU

from conversations he learned he was likely more fortunate than many others

from people having conversations about him his ears rang a lot they returned to him and said soanso and soanso said they didnt eitherdidnt do what he did

Well thank you for thatbut please he didnt rap them on the chestthough he wanted to I neednt be a subject of your conversations with people I don know nor they know me

they explained didnt apologise that when they mentioned lucid dreaming  since they didnt he was their example their go-to 

   You understand, I’m sure, that if you can provide someone a vivid example they’ll better understand your explanation.

   Yes

        he understood 

cinnamon candy apple red iridescent aureoles that rode jiggling breasts like happy yolks on rarecooked loose sunnysideup eggs

lucid enough

    he rode in a train upper sleeping berth with Marilyn Monroe  she was naked  she was on the aisle

a commotion began outside  Marilyn split the curtain and spied No. she giggled her precious musical giggle  Of course no problem . . of course you’re welcome . climb up here.

she turnedfaced him We have company.

                                           she climbed over himran her breast across his facepaused You really need to shave. he grabbed herbit her playfully OUCH. she mocked and went onto her back beside him against the wall

he rolled leftclutched her bitten breast and kissed it Feel betterbaby she cooed Ohyes. a breeze laced his spinethe curtain split slightly Oh I definitely came to the right berth. the voice familiar she grabbed his ass the hand familiar

he rolled backlaid flat to help her enter as unimpeded as possible

                                                                      Marilyn

she undressed her gymnastics erotic then naked she asked 

                                                               Shall we picked up where we paused?

 

four cinnamon candy apple red iridescent aureoles

after 730AM listening to rain fall,  Monday,  7  11. 22

1118,  Monday

Mogwai   Stop Coming to My House   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQboMoOGBJY

she shook him aggressively she would have to  Would you quit that please?

he heard her from far faraway he vocalised something not that he could identify

Please? she pleadeddemanded her pleadingportion sweetilylaced like strudel icing

Wha he croaked

he did three things while he was asleep that displeased her 

                                                                Please quit that.

two were sleeping postures

he laid legs togetherarms thrown out wide like Christ at his crucifixion  crucifiction

the other he slept with his hands folded on his chest asif he laid in a coffin 

three his all-time favourite 

                               Would you quit breathing he was a mouthbreather  an emphatic please?

   quit breathing

had to hand it to her girl could identify a problem and offer a solution

0536,  Monday,  7  11. 22

1019,  Monday

Mogwai  Like Herod  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORGjpDpgio4

  You didn’t just say that. 

                              Man, cool you said it to me I get it, but you say that to someone who doesn’t know you or you are overheard . . it might become uncomfortable . . 

. . Not for me 

  OH.  I think for you.

You really believe  uncomfortable to me

I think . . I think it could be uncomfortable for you.

Believing is better than thinking 

                                   I believe you know me better than tha

No doubt . . you’re a tough nut . but if enough people come down on you maybe not so tough.

he shook his head 

                    Yare ridiculous yare projecting  Im not youI think enough people can put you off your point  Wha  yes thas it  encourage  encourage you to think or at least say you disagree with yourself 

                                                                                                The proverbial hills to die on

each an every one

Man, I’m just watching your back anif that’s ridiculous . to youif I’m ridiculous . . so be it.

You think think   if I said to someone other than you or was overheard theyd be disturbed

I know you and you disturb me. 

   Fuckin hilarious

Well . . better hilarious than ridiculous

Hilariously ridiculous clownie

Stop. 

        I’m just saying sometimes you ought to know when to pull back.

  Nada 

        Me an Popeye  I yam wha I yam  

Christ scolded for saying  I have an affectionan infliction  an infinity for dead women

  

1330,  Friday,  4  11. 22

1317,  Sunday,  6  11. 22

Dale Cooper and the Dictaphones  Ta Grenier  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LslmtzzlQZs

it was hot

working in the sun he began to sweat heavily

he stripped off his workshirt tshirt loosened his carpenter bag reclasped it saddled it lower on his hips

   between hammer blows he heard somethinghe cocked his head to one side like a dog 

                                                                                         a rap   rap on glass 

and again

looking left through thinned bushes the neighbours house a sliding glass door curtainsblinds parted wide Jackie the home-from-college girl rapped 

                                having garnered his attention she waved lazily

he held up his hammer  tapped the air twice in salute 

smiling she placed her hand on the glass

                                            a shallow sitting porch above her bedroom shaded her  she looked coolwas cool  braless  in a dago tee  wearing cutoff bluejeans

she placed her other hand to the glasstouched her forehead to it keeping eye contact

he was catcurious turned faced her

her smile beckoned himgrew fulsome  welcoming

he unclasped his bag laid it on the ground

walking towards her she retreatedshuffled a couple of steps backwards he stepped sidewise between the landscaped isle of bushes and stopped on the redwood apron before the sliding door 

he placed his hand on the glass

she stepped forward and placed her hand across from his she was biting her lower lip

Looks like youre up to something Jackie

   Maybe . . I was thinking.

the acousticstheir voices through the glass deepenedwere weirdly ethereal otherworldly he laughed 

                                                                                                          Doesnt sound like Kansas

OZ! she laughed gaily placing her other hand on the glass

he placed his other hand opposite hers

                                          Handcuffs 

Shackled.

Bondage

Knots.

   This is nuts 

                     Whaya thinking baby

she took her hands from the glass and placed them on her hips then crossing her arms before her she grasped the bottom hem of her dago tee 

                               I was thinking.  bit her lip again  in one fell swoop she peeled her tee off over her head keeping her wrists hands bound in the cotton fabric she brought them down to her belly

he admired her breasts 

                          then ever  so   slowly  he slid his hands across the glass opposite them 

he raised his eyes to hers

still holding her lip between her white teeth she leaned forwardmashed her breasts on the glass 

it was hot

the glass under his hands felt hotter 

she smiled freed her lip 

                             What are you thinking?

he threw his head back laughed deeply loudly openmouthed like a wolf howling then bringing his head downeyes to hers he took his right hand away  he admired her left breast her aureole her nippleif not pressed to the glass would be taut then looking back into her face he reached over grasped the door handle 

                                                                       The doors unlocked 

Jackie started momentarilyher breasts came off the glass

    ever  so   slowly  he began sliding the door open      

0738,  Saturday,  5  11. 22

1003,  Sunday,  6  11. 22

Mogwai  Coolverine  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu1UVzJYfao

DOYOU

WANT

TO

DIE

 

once it was implied

twice explicit 

   twice angrily he was tempted to say Yes  his inners talked him out of ita sudden democratic vote they didnt want to die

he was a democracy

he conceded 

DOYOU WANT TO DIE scrolled across his dreaming DOYOU WANT TO DIE DOYOU WANT TO DIE DOYOU WANT TO DIE 

     interruption  commercialbreak eruption woke himgot him out of bed got him to sit on its edge which he hardly did he disturbed two cats who laid with him but only enough to wake them  they yawned then laid their heads back down

he sat in the dark naked it was coldwindows open fiftydegrees maybe   he rubbed his facehis head 

finally he asked aloud Do you want to die 

   No

there had been too much dying recentlyfamily and friends

he recognised he was depressed but it was legitimate part of the process 

                                                                                 unfortunately there were so many

similar to picking up a deck of cards tossed on the floor and sorting them again into suits in order  fashioning the worn deck to be what it was when it was brand new crisp begging for games to begin

he and it were innocent then neither imagining what would be neither able to change it

 

   Regrets he asked aloud 

he thought hard 

   NO 

          his salve against regrets was his memorialisedmemorised keenremembered minutiae which bubbled like a hydrothermal spring  since he was two

vapours were getting in his eyes so he closed them bed beckoned cats quietly mewled   nothing scrolled

he laid downcovered himself 

he didnt fall asleep for a long time

in the darkness of his closed eyes trapped vapours roiledtickled each other threw shadowspulled them down or apart  he watched until he did not recognise he slept again

436AM,  Saturday,  5  11. 22

1147,  Saturday

Mogwai  You’re Lionel Richie  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9FrfhXxMsU