he wasnt one for horror

                               although he liked monstershe liked cannibal zombies vampires werewolvesOhmy and supernatural aliens

                     the line wouldnt have been complete without Ozs Ohmy

he didnt like murder

                      murderers werent monsters they were the rabid dog To Kill a Mockingbird that had to be put down a single shot  The Deer Hunter

                                  seems he was fashioned by cinema

hed blame his Mom for that

she wanted to see a movie

his father didnt

so not wanting to go alone she grabbed him 

popcorn a box of candy Twist my arm

                                            hed watch whatever she wanted to show him

she had been responsible for the library books he readtook him to the adult library upstairs  Select a couple of books, but don’t take too long. they left the second oldest to watch his three other siblings 

                                                                                  when the librarian challenged herrefused to checkout the books because I saw the boy pick them. his mother nearly took her head off when they left he had his own card for the adult library his Mom wouldnt have to accompany him

things usually tended to be good between them

she was eighteen went he was born for all intents and purposes they were the same generation his Dad too he was twenty 

horror

vacui

       Latin fear of empty space also kenophobia fear of the empty nyctophobia fear of the night or darkness

he lacked phobias

horror vacui

              filling an entire surface of a space or artwork with detail

he liked space

               empty  white   negative space intrigued him 

a buddy refuted him they were hiking in hills above the Pacific

                                                                  Look around you, everything is filledcrowded with detail, no space unfilled; negative space isn’t natural.

You presume everything is filled up because your eyes tell your brain everything it sees is Whaif your eyes cant see it or if they do they darn the empty space fill it with that that borders it creates contiguous detail sequencing color and pattern enforcing consistency statusquo veiling the negative supercedessupplants the empty space

I believe everything is fill . .

. . Macroly

            Yet microly you knowbelieve there is unfilled space

I believe in ghosts I have seen them An because you havent you do not

I believe it is entirely possibly we are surrounded by networks spiderwebs mirrored fractals of negative space that our eyes clone hide their slender edges to complete them so we don freak out

Slather a brush with paint and drag it on coarse concrete the brush will be depleted the concrete will be revealed pebbled then laced the painting incomplete You must think our eyes are soggywet brushes

                                                                                                 Ya preferwont allow the possibility

I believe my eyes.

One word Deepfakes

                       Ya keep believing your eyes and AI will make you its bitch  Whawoudya do for a bone doggie

1833,  Monday,  14  11. 16

1544,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  18  8. 21

https://scroll.in/video/876082/ai-at-work-barack-obama-did-not-say-this-but-youd-never-know-watching-this-video

a pensee

           line one subject two syllables 

second line description four syllables

third line action seven syllables 

the fourth line eight syllables is the setting   

fifth line final thought six syllables 

deepfakes

scintillating   

egged on to fuck with your mind

look no furthur than your flatscreen

do not believe your eyes 

 

Whoawhoawhoawhoa

                               Its Thursday the nineteenth

It is. You’re sharp.

Whawas supposed to have happened on August thirteenth

It was Friday the thir . .

. . Whaelse

Whatelse?

Comon 

       In politics

Ahh . .

. . Don ahh me its almost a week ago  half the time ya cant remember yesterday   The PillowGuy 

PillowGuy  ya know that piece of work

I do, don’t pay much attention to him; he’s a prick.

Anwha did the prick say was happening on Friday the thirteenth

He’s a prognosticator too?

He cant spell it but he likes to think he isyup

Please, you’ll have to remind me.

Friday the thirteenth Mango the former was to be returned to the presidencyO’Biden vice-president Harris voluntarily stepping down admitting they see the light They lost

OhShit.

Yes

     Didnt happen

1757,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  18  8. 21 

https://newrepublic.com/article/163272/trump-resinstated-president-maga-qanon-mike-lindell

Plop plop fizz fizz

                   FEAR

anthropologist Ernest Becker The Birth and Death of Meaning observed

                                                                            “It is (fear) that makes people so willing to follow brash, strong-looking demagogues . . . capable of cleansing the world of the vague, the weak, the uncertain, the evil. Ah, to give oneself over to their direction – what calm, what relief.” 

                                                                          TAKE A FREAKING ALKA-SELTZER

or better yet an Alka-Seltzer enema thatll put a tingle into ya get ya up on your toes gigglinglaughing Ahh ah refreshed

hed bet the true believers would take the A-S enema before they take a Trump virus vaccination

1346,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  18  8. 21

Alka-Seltzer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iENQXIQ8wH0 

The Authentic Appeal of the Lying Demagogue: Proclaiming the Deeper Truth about Political Illegitimacy https://www.asanet.org/sites/default/files/attach/journals/feb18asrfeature.pdf

 

You an your fucking transience

                                Nah  don gimme that lookI always tell ya wha I mean  Transience  tendency to forget facts or events over time  Ya struggle to keep yesterday

he started to speak

                  Shush ya got no legs to stand on

he still wanted to say 

                    Shut it not a fuckin leg 

I . .

. . Yare not listening

I am.

Good Then  when is it when we have forgotten all that weve learned

I think it's inculcated in the Second Law of Thermodynamics; hot things cool, and disorder, chaos, always increases.

he looked smug

Disorder chaos  entropy

Yes. Entropy. Eventually that would have dawned on me.

Unless you forgot

                  Is it fair to say you maintain that chaos disorder is equivalent to deathbecause Id sayId propose only when we are dead that we have forgotten everything weve learned

You equate forgotten, with death?

Aint nobody ever said otherwise  have they

I do not know if I agree with you.

Whadaya propose in lieu of  otherwise

                                        Perhaps he smiled wickedly  it felt goodhe rarely did wiggleroom  wiggleroomjiggleroom might be had if someone had a soul  but then you readily admit ya don believe in the soul

You don’t either.

Not much of an argument

                          You persist  chaos is death  Isnt chaos a beinga state of being

You know . . I think Ill claim transience before I forget

 

Motherfucker

no time recorded,  Friday the Thirteenth,  8. 21

1409,  Sunday,  15  8. 21

Slipknot  Before I Forget  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qw2LU1yS7aw   https://www.newscientist.com/definition/second-law-thermodynamics/

Lexa Hill  Hedonism  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ-CDBM2Mrg 

Muslim band

America is morally obliged to bring as many Afghanis every one as humanly possible out of Afghanistan 

the two FOX clowns plus one the Bibles Three Wise Men make them look like fleshy white pariahs Tucker Carlson Laura Ingraham & Stephen Miller they would say theyre entertainers ought to use their big mouths to gobble cock  every individual ten dollar proceed going to financially help our worthy displaced Muslim allies

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/fox-news-stephen-miller-fan-anti-refugee-flames-amid-afghanistan-crisis-says-mehdi-hasan-118912069559

https://www.thedailybeast.com/tucker-carlson-warns-that-america-will-be-invaded-by-millions-of-afghan-refugees

https://www.mediaite.com/tv/laura-ingraham-is-it-really-our-responsibility-to-welcome-afghanistan-refugees-into-america/

https://www.foxnews.com/media/stephen-miller-afghanistan-refugees-resettlement-politics-humanitarian

1914,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  18  8. 21

lets not forget braying ass Nikki Haley  https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/nikki-haley-pushes-anti-biden-line-even-she-couldn-t-n1277166?cid=eml_mra_20210819&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951

Whitewashing Afghan War https://prospect.org/world/whitewashing-of-the-afghan-war/

 

 

there was an earthquakethere had been earthquakes

it was part of the deal

Florida had hurricanes

the Midwest had tornadoes

the Dakotas Minnesota  whiteouts

they were natural parts parcels  Order

                                        pick your poison 

then some bright boys got a bug up their ass drooled SAFETY theyd write humane laws to force construction not to Humpty Dumpty not to have a great fall  then all the Kings horses and all the Kings men can make bank

horseshit economy of the time

 

 

One – Six – Six – Zero Marsh

                            walking up the Victorian porch steps he saw a metal placard screwed into the whitepainted ornate crossbeam directly over his head

the placard read  THIS IS AN UNREINFORCED MASONRY BUILDING   the placard was required by law 

Jesus he muttered to himself  Lifes unreinforced an unreinforced masonry existence

                                                                                        he was sick of the shit the manipulative laws they patted themselves on the back for authoring and passing  graft their plumtheir cherry inane laws meant to save his life because he must beOh  an idiot

he was responsible accountablehe didnt care for their threats

                                                               their codes meting out severe monetary penalties if they were not adhered to if they were broken if he got killed

to the best of his knowledge their keen Western yokel mentality hadnt metastisised to middle America

                                                                                                           which isnt to say the Midwest didnt have its share of stupidity and ineptitude

 

he could protect himselfThank you

1350,  Thursday,  12  5. 21

201 more attractive than 1401, Monday,  16  8. 21

coffee and a Doha

Trumped Pompeo Doha deal with “the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan which is not recognized by the United States as a state and is known as the Taliban (twentytwo words used sixteen times throughout this brief “comprehensive peace agreement” – brief and comprehensive are not compatible) . . and (the United States) will not intervene in its internal affairs.”  

the peace agreement would have been a good instrument to have writ large and demanded no reprisals or violence committed (the protection of) against Afghani girls and women, a continuation of their civil rights, their educational and cultural trajectories; also the protection (no reprisals or violence committed against) of an unmolested and free press

he loved Part One C.

                      “The United States is committed to start immediately to work with all relevant sides on a plan to expeditiously release combat and political prisoners as a confidence building measure with the coordination and approval of all relevant sides. Up to five thousand (5,000) prisoners of the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan which is not recognized by the United States as a state and is known as the Taliban and up to one thousand (1,000) prisoners of the other side will be released by March 10, 2020, the first day of intra-Afghan negotiations, which corresponds to Rajab 15, 1441 on the Hijri Lunar calendar and Hoot 20, 1398 on the Hijri Solar calendar.

awfully nice to return five thousand (5,000) combatants to the Talibans ranks

https://www.state.gov/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Agreement-For-Bringing-Peace-to-Afghanistan-02.29.20.pdf

1943,  Monday,  16  8. 21

1106,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  18  8. 21

the United States seems content to hang their hat on https://sof.news/afghanistan/over-the-horizon/ 

   

   the bait

             a sudden unspeakable sweat

eight syllables

hed start from there

create a pensee around a suggestion by Anne Carson

might have stepped in it  

                         the fourth line of five eight syllables is the setting   a sudden unspeakable sweat

    rolling . . 

                line one  subject  two syllables   armpit

second line  description   adolescent

third line  action  seven syllables   taut nimble fingers tickle

fifth line  final thought  six syllables   desirous  once more please

wellshit

       dug out of that nicely Stoked  deserve strokes and pats for that

 

armpit

adolescent

taut nimble fingers tickle

a sudden unspeakable sweat

desirous  once more please

pensive pensee 

1157,  Monday,  16  8. 21

https://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/magazine/the-inscrutable-brilliance-of-anne-carson.html 

 

“ . .if people were more preoccupied with the past, maybe the events that overwhelm us would be fewer . . at least while you’re sitting still in your own room, you don’t do anyone any harm.”  WG Sebald

 

preoccupied with the past

not reminiscing

remembering

history

        from where things began and then subtly quietly moved through time to date 

precedence

people tend to be myopic

theres todaythey live in the momenteyes down  watching their feet

                                                                               Worthwhile

but they cant remember what happened three days ago

                                                        24/7 hustles them through their lives they pant for whats next 

unfolding

          they cant remember two days ago

a disservice rendered we shell out for

Old news. Old news? Why should I be interested in old news?

                                                                  I wouldn’t read yesterday’s newspaper. nice proclamation if they actually read rather than were told

 

we ought to be interested

                           we crawled before we walked walked before we were hobbledused a cane walker or wheelchair before we decided to sit it out  walking was no longer worth our effort

 

he was preoccupiedhis memory long

it wasnt easy to maintain

     maybe thats it

                         its easier more convenient to let  it   go

0949,  Sunday,  15  8. 21

1139,  Monday,  16  8. 21

 

he couldnt resistcouldnt help himself

his father servedhis three brothers served

he couldnt

          didnt see the point of snapping to attention saluting submitting to whatever he was ordered do 

he didnt care much for authority

                                   made no sense to abide something he knew he wouldnt

it didnt set well with his family

he had to tell them to quit making excuses

                                             Ifya gotta say something say if there was an existential threat to our country Id be in it otherwise   I couldnt give a fuck

 

no  he couldnt resist

                      he felt obliged to pesterto send military articleswhenever he found them to his father

who knew Rolling Stone gave ink to the military Michael Hastings was the inker 

the article disturbed him

but he was cool cool

on the reverse side of the xeroxed pages he wrote a civil newsy letter 

his father was a Korean War vet who sat on pins and needles for two years but wasnt sent overseas 

 

I love you, Paw! 

Joe

PS On the other side of this letter is a real beaut you ought to share with your brothers-at-arm your cohorts at the Wednesday afternoon Veteran Hall get-togethers you attend and disgustOops! discuss it with them

                                                                                                        Beyond my purview

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/the-runaway-general-the-profile-that-brought-down-mcchrystal-192609/

1728,  Monday,  16  8. 21

PPS  https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/another-runaway-general-army-deploys-psy-ops-on-u-s-senators-178088/

 

he checked the map

she said she lived in Sacramento off the 5

he lived in Santa Margarita

she saidshe implored  I'd be willing to meet you halfway.

from her picture she appeared an athletic goodlooking Asian woman with breasts  she occasioned him to remember he waitedbidded his time for Playboy to finally issuefeature The Girls of Japan  he invested in three year subscriptions before it came out

                   the venture had been worthwhile

it confirmed his suspicion

there was such a woman as a busty Asian

he high-fived himself

which was ridiculous

though if asked hed admit it

there were worse things to admit

Hmmhe wondered

                  he wondered if she was enthused to meet him halfway because she had a sense of humour  that she also realised halfway between them was Los Banos

he wrote her

              MEET ME IN LOS BANOS

never did hear from her again

afternoon,  Friday the Thirteenth  8. 21

1500,  Sunday,  15  8. 21

Jesus Kachrist

              had to be BLIND not to see it coming

walking over to Circle K had he seen the opossum at the bent chainlinked fence tilting above the ruined earth crushed shrubs smashed concrete walk hed have chased it back up into the construction site they were winding down it was nearly Four

but he hadnt

he had his nose in Krazy Kat as he walked

despite it being late

                     newspapers werent distributed meaningfully  Circle K refused to carry The San Francisco Chronicle which left him to the clutches of the Los Angeles Times

                                                          he bet himself a copy would remain for him to buy

two were left

he wanted the headline 

                           AFGHANISTAN FALLS TO THE TALIBAN

it would be the bookend to the framed front page he had at home SOUTH VIETS SURRENDER

stupid stupid stupid USA

as he walkedread home he saw the opossum smashed on the road

poor poor poor animal

                       it hadnt the foreknowledge or forethought like the United States that the road was a parking shoulder two lanes of traffic a turning land two lanes of traffic a parking shoulder

Inevitable

Afghanistan and the Opossum

Lost causes before they began

   had to be blind not to see

before Four,  Monday,  16  8. 21

The American Breed  (Neocon hubris)  Bend Me, Shape Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSHo146tQjQ

Nobodys talking about who financially supports the Taliban

1717,  Monday,  16  8. 21

the enemy of my enemy is my friend

visiting

  the TV was On

he walked into the livingroom and there wasnt anyone in it

Aw wha the hell 

                   that aggravated him as much as walking into a lighted room at night and finding it empty

when yare done with something turn it off put it back where you found it dont leave it On or out

he could ask until he was blue in the face

                                               it was a propensity handed down to him from his father

his father was frugal

that frugality allowed him to financially support a family of ten

                                                                   as the eldest it made sense hed be inclined

as he stepped to the television to turn it off he paused it was a cop showhe recognised the young detective he was in his bedroom he made a faceyanked his tshirt up to his nose and smelled it he wrinkled his nose and stripped the tshirt off over his head he walked into the bathroom off the bedroom and started the shower

                                                                                           CUT 

                                                                                                           next scene he opens the bathroom door and emerges with a towel wrapped around his waist 

                                                                        NOW he turned the TV off

Who does that

cop lives alone

why shower with the bathroom door closed

when he lived alone lived with his wife lived with his girlfriend or visited her place and showered he didnt shut the bathroom door

                hell he didnt shut the bathroom door when he used the toilet

nobody was looking for the cop for retribution retaliation

                                                           at least not what he had seen of the series

his daughter who lived alone told him after she checked her doors front and backconfirming they were locked when she went to bed she closed and locked her bedroom door

                                                        the security of one last barrier to be breached

he understood but it irritated him that she felt compelled

                                                           fucking worthless guys 

the TV cop threw him a curve

                               made him wonder

when he talked with daughter and mentioned the closed bathroom door she laughed

                                                                                          Dad, when don’t you wonder?

she had a point

1900,  Saturday,  14  8. 21

1157,  Sunday,  15  8. 21  thirteenth anniversary

 

Whadafuck

             how did this one get by him 

Roxy Music

’73

In Every Dream Home a Heartache

obviously he wasnt as sharp as he thoughthe almost choked on his beer a third fortified beer on top a flittering butterfly-flight highOH MAN

                      the lyric blew past him like a Mack truck unaware he entered the crosswalk  the driver stoned or on his fucking cellphone 

                       hed rather be killed by a halfcocked driver than a cunt on their cellphone  but one doesnt get to make those choice  think of all the horseshit deaths people have suffered 

                                                                              although he could be convinced they may have m9ssed M9 best mate  better than an M8 mate or skipped those multiple-choice questions on their way wandering into life the questionnaire neatly tucked up inside that pretty blue cover

                                                                       blending right in with the background works  hed apologise if someone elses background was another colour  his was a metallic bit-deeper blue than babyblue  maybe it forecasted his eventual sex

                             Who knew  whos Who

the lyriche thought he heard it right Yahman  he caught it by its tail Inflatable doll/My role is to serve you

I bought you mail order/My plain wrapper baby/Your skin is like vinyl/The perfect companion/You float in my new pool/Deluxe and delightful/Inflatable doll/My role is to serve you/Disposable darling/Can’t throw you away now/Immortal and life size/My breath is inside you/I’ll dress you up daily/And keep you till death sighs/Inflatable doll/Lover ungrateful/I blew up your body/But you blew my mind

that shit was right up his alley

                                 it was possibly the bad habit he enjoyed  mortifying buddies on their birthdays before their parents family wives and children

                                         couldnt begin to say the number of times he ended up in the pool with the kids using her as a floaty  

the latter ones he gifted obviously couldnt be used in a pool  they were too damn evolved

                                                                                               guys bitchedmoaned whined spirited her out of the room  but they didnt ditch herdidnt give her to the kids

they shared the lingerie with their wives a little later

                                                      he wasnt one who could buy women clothing but he knew what lingerie their wives would look good in 

great tune

            he was happy he finally heard it no matter the many years later

626 better than 1826,  Saturday,  14  8. 21

1708,  Sunday,  15  8. 21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4uzAADWe00 

Niia  Made for You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmS6FJKpEQI 

he watched through the Stellas windshield a Vette sunlight surfed on waves rushing madly for the rockyshore the CRASHING grateful for the cacophony happy they werent met by suckingsievesound as they squirreled up sandyshores their vocal cords cut

Would you mind? I really got to take this.

Got to

Got to.

Who

Cherese.

San Jose Asian

Amazing, yes, how do you remember?

he smiled waved him out the door

                                    Buhbye

he got out and walked away from the car  sought refuge behind a utility shack from the sound of the ocean

he could have answered via Bluetooth tell her hed call her right back and taken him furthur up the beach where homo sapiens of the opposite sex wandered in beachwear and swimsuits

for a guy who didnt talk on the phone he might be on it now twentyminuteshalfhour

                                                                                        at least he admittedconceded to talking that long 

he got out of Stella and wandered down to the rocks

it was a remote strand

looking up and down the coast there wasnt another human being a splash of colour to be seen traffic on US One hummed behind him

                       he crossed his fingers hed come across a sparkling mermaid cradled in a bed of seagrass  but likely shed be shy and not want to fuck in broad daylight he did some of his best fucking in broad daylight  that said he was compelled by intriguing lovers

                                         though he couldnt say if he found them or they found him

no matter he was grateful they had been grateful too

Nah no amorous beauty of the deep no oystersmell conchsmell no fishquiver he supposed one hadnt really lived if they hadnt fucked in the sea in its pulsing shoving  in the tug of its shimmering waves

 

from above he heard Come on, man!

                                       his buddy shouted down to him from the deep shoulder off the One  Let’s roll!

he hopped from broken rock to broken rock imagining the awesome jigsaw puzzle it would be if it were reverseengineered reassembling the ancient rockslabs reassemblingreconstituting myriad grains of sand to minute stones to crumbling cliff faces from whence they came

he was born millions of years too late

 

he slipped in saddled up inside Stella

                                         Cherese good 

She sounded good.

                    She unveiled a new aspect of herself.

Aspect

Yes.

     I didn’t see it coming; not with all her talk of tennis and golf.

What

Horses.

Shes a horsewoman

Evidently. Its her horses before tennis or golf.

Jesus

What are you Jesusing?

You fucking kidding me

What?

Yare willing to help with her horses

She only has two.

Brother Lemme remind you

Remind me? You think I need to reminded?

You do

Don’t tell me that.

Might wanna scratch some scabs man

Fuck you.

Ah don be desultory Yare full of shit

You have to say?

I do

Why?

Babe mucking aint fucking

4ish PM,  Reggae Friday – Friday the Thirteenth,  8. 21

1755,  Saturday,  14  8. 21

 

So what do you call your writing?

Mosaic

Why?

Bits and pieces tossedfused together as they capture an arrest my imagination

For example?

A pensee

I don’t know what a pensee is?

Either did I I liked the wordawfully close to penis to pen  to scribble scribe palimpsest  limp pensee limppenis 

A pensee is a thought or reflection put into literary form an since Bradbury suggestedRay challenged me for the hell of it Id id give it a go

The first line is the subject two syllables    

Awright

         Ill write Eldritch

Line two is a description four syllables

A betrayer

Third line is action seven syllables

Who slays with tactics and lust

Fourth line setting eight syllables

Comes up from behind through the woods

Line five final thought six syllables

Killing without remorse

 

Yasee that really hasnt a home

                                   But then is right at home in a mosaic

the ink is similar: 1350,  Thursday,  12  5. 11

1346,  Saturday,  14  8. 21