it is frustrating to wend stories
No not frustrating maddening to tell talesremind others of stories who had been therewere witnesses who then when he finished shrugged
No, I don’t remember. I don't know if what you said is true or not; although it was very
entertaining.
Jesus my intention wasnt to entertain
you Im asking youreminding you Can you confirm it or not I wanna know that wha I said
happened that I didnt dream it read it elsewhere that I didnt make it up it wasnt a fabrication I spun with spiderwebs from the creature inside my headcreatures more
accurately inside my head
they scratched their heads
No. I
can’t say that I have any recollection of what you said, what you're talked about, at all. I just don’t remember.
and it just wasnt his parentshis
oldest friends they were twenty and
eighteen when he was born
to his thinking that made them
contemporaries they were in a stones
throw of growing up alike
he was a precocious youthknew his
letters could print was reading Dick. See Dick. See Dick run. before he entered kindergarten
that was to say he was aware
he was visual
he comprehended
he was observant
he remembered
his parents perhaps distracted with age were uninterested in digging up the past no
matter how much fun it had beenthey had had
he felt like when he told his
stories looking for confirmation they
listened to them asif they were nothing more than entertainment he was talking to entertain them
Christ if they wanted entertainment they could watch
television
hed turn down the television when he talked with them
then catching their
eyes he turned the TV off so he didnt
have to compete with the fucking thing
Im
talking with you Can you listen to me
it was particularly grating
because he didnt live in state
he tried to visit once a year
because if he didnt they
werent visiting him
the
unspoken life sentence for a child who chooses to move out of state away from
their parents and siblings who not only remained in-state but also remained
living within twentyminutes a halfhour of each other
the mountain doesnt go to Muhammad
Muhammad goes to the mountain
as Francis Bacon wrote in his
Essays 1625
Mahomet cald the Hill to come to
him. And when the Hill stood still, he was neuer a whit abashed, but said; If
the Hill will not come to Mahomet, Mahomet will go the the Hill.
it
was curious to favour two Francis Bacons
one a philosopher the other a modern
painter
it was worse if one wasnt religious
one could suppose if he had been
religious he wouldnt have abandoned his family
abandoned
their word
submitted
his word
his stories remained stories
just stories
nobody for years and years
remembered a whit of what he related
yet when they spokewhen they
told their little stories aside from a
different perspective as people would and should have he knew their
stories
he gave up on the disconnect long
ago
and the disconnect was made easier because he didnt live among them and he stopped visiting once a year and when he did visit particular after his
parents move northa couple hours north and he stayed with them his
siblingsif it wasnt convenient for them You know where we live. Come to us.
No You know where I am
We can go. said his mother
No
No, we can go. said his father
No I aint going anywhere If I can travel more than half the country
they can travel here When was the last
time you saw them
that painted a picture his folks
didnt like so they dropped it
Hallelujah if he was religious Can I get an Amen
thats the way the cookie crumbled
for years
which
ofcourse was no skin off his ass because he didnt eat desserts
then out of the blue he
reconnected with a friend
she had lived next door
she was his first romantic
interest
they laughed a lot
until they
didnt which was okay they were teenagers with their whole lives
ahead of them
she remembered the stories that
involved them
what a fucking gift
0104, Saturday,
30 1. 21
