before the archdiocese locked up churches for the night

priests prowled pews intent on discoveringdisrupting their winter passion

                                                                               Baby  It was cold outside

they waited them out

hid

     scampered like mice

hid behind the organ

exploited all the nooks an crannies

                                      once

ballsy as she was

hid inside a confessional

on Fathers side

watching

           he almost lost his shitclasped both hands over his mouth to muffstrangle the HAHAHAha ah

Arya crazy

           reconnoitering after the priests swept the premises   left

theyd eaten exercised and slightlychilled between church and walking to the rectory on the opposite side of the grounds they wanted their snifters of brandies tumblers of spirit

they just wanted their tumble

they ensconced near the votives really dug the candlelight flickering on the niche ceiling up the walls

ballsy actually lit candles for the deceased  for prayers

                                                            he waited laid on his back on the hard wood pew

try as he may he couldnt avoid thinking of the tawdry joke  Three for a quarter. Go out an blow another.

hed chuckle softly

   shed slip in hip to his head hed open his eyes

                                                          There you are Go well

she usually had tears in her eyes

                                        Yes. Thank you.

Youre welcome

   then shed push away take her hip from his head get on her elbows above him kiss him upsidedown they enjoyed those kisses

              there was much teasingmuch aching keeping their bodies separate their breaths coming faster

then the maddeningstruggle eversoquietly loosening coats clothing clasp zipper cotton underwear  midthigh

ballsy said it wasnt sex

                      Amen

what did he know

he was fifteen

early March, 2024

1231,  Moanday,  15  7. 24

Dean Martin  Baby, It’s Cold Outside.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnYSTnTMGQo

he counted the bonegray skeletal shattered rings

                                                      the receding checkerboard stump

husk  scabbing away

                           he counted inward best he could using the point of his jackknife counted loudly  tickedoff year after year  paused  JABbed the knife in

                                           that ring

the year he was born

counted inward  his parents birthyears   his grandparents birthyears

                                                                             now his family was not in America

at its heart pith  center

                       at its conception    203 rings                

he remembered eight years earlier when it was cut down its stump savaged random crisscrossed inchdeep cuts  chemical tossed on it to render it quicker

                                            defaced it

made it an eyesore

distasteful

when he walked past ears seared by the cutting blades twelve feet of trunk remained

later that afternoon

returning home

                  he stopped

to mourn

he remembered now

                    on a knee knife in his pocket   submitted     he knelt on both as he remembered hearing  the

     tree

 moan   weep

1355,  Saturday,  10  6. 23

0924,  Moanday,  15  7. 24

Mason Proffit  Buffalo  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX2SSRDIEO8

I HATE THIS.

Wait  Ya looked around on the floorchecked the box

YES.

       It’s not here.

Try an rela . .

. . Don’t tell me relax, we’ve worked this puzzle better than a week, twothousand pieces.

he tried humour Onethousandninehunredninetynine

she iced him with her eyes

Well find it babe

It’s not finishedwe didn’t finish it complete it.

We did  wha   we coud

                           Get off your mad pony Well find it

I’ve been lookin . .

. . Youve only just told me

                           Next time when were closing out a puzzlethe last few pieces you can get your celebratory winemy beer

Youve stewed all of five minutes babe

                                          Give it another ten fifteen minutes before . . .

Before?

   Losin your mind

Isn’t that missing piece glaring?

No

What do you mean no?

When I was a boy there were a lot of men in the neighbourhood who lost hands eyes legs feet My Maw woud tell me not to stare it was impolite

Quit starin at it

                  Well look together after we have our drinks

she growled They’re supposed to be celebratory.

Mine is

   I know

You know what?

Your sister had people come in an clean houseyah

Yes. She wanted it spickanspan before we came to stay to care for the animals while they’re gone.

Yah

      Coud explain the missing piece

she glared That . . could explain the missing piece.  droll

We began it before they left Your sister hadnt wanted to startShit  another possibility

What the hell are you talking about?

Either the housekeepers or your sister  For entirely different reasons

What are you talking about?

Either ransom or petty selfserving interest

                                               You said your sister rebuffed a negotiation a price hike for cleaningdespite despite  she admitted shes been takin advantage of them for some time

Chickens come home to roost

Secondly Your sister wanted to help build the puzzle to completion

Ransom

She has the piece Shell complete it not you us

                                                    he took a long pull on his beerwatching her over it

impatient she sipped her cold clear white wine

Or

   Or?

he motioned with his beer

                            Ortha may be it there on edge against the baseboard

he thought shed snap her neckher suddenlook over her shoulder behind where she posted up an don a soul dare try an sit there

Fuuuuck.

           she set her wine down dropped to her knees crawled over to it

looked like religious penance mortification

                                              which he appreciated

he loved watching how her ass moved

   truth be knownSHSSSH

                              he leaned it when he learned they were building a twothousand piece puzzle

1738,  Reggaefriday,  12  7. 24

1325,  Sunday,  14  7. 24

Stones  You Should Have Seen Her Ass  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9O3pACq13fs

he shook his head wagged his fingers at his granddaughter Woudya comere  how the hell marveled how small children didnt feel their noses run

as she came to him he went to his back pocketto his handkerchief

                                                                        seeing the black cloth greenmarijuana leaves 

she veered

Too late kiddoGotcha

she struggled in his arm

                          he held her in its crookpinning hers arms  she rattled her head  timed it  in one deft practised cobrastrike he had her nose between his thumb forefingersqueezed  Blow  she blew an as she did he fingered her nose expelling snot

concluded with a final squeeze swiped sideways

                                                     Lemmesee

her brightblue eyes watered 

Excellent

kissed her once

then again

            Ifya had a snotty nose I woudnt kiss you

   Yare really missing out kid

Huh Grampa

Grammas lace hanky

Gramma has a hanky?

Not your Gramma your greatgreatGramma my Gramma She had the best handkerchiefs talcumscented sweet soft so very soft She kept it in her bosom tucked to one sideleft under the lapel of her housedress

When my nose would run shed tell me Go blow my nose. I didnt wear handkerchiefs then

Idsay No

Comere.

Ya didnt cross Gramma I went to her

She had me sit in her big lap she smelled like delicious cake

                                                                 Look at me.

Id look up at her She had blue eyes like I do like you do youre welcome

In broken English shed say I had a snoot full a snotty nose. Shed say Let me help.

Shed take her pretty lace hanky from her bosom gently cradle my nose tell me to blow Like I fingered your nose she would finger mine Shed make a funny noise like Louie Armstrongs trumpet Id laughits hard to blow your nose while laughing Shed say sternly teased  Quit now, blow your nose. Thas how she woud blow my nose Then shed set me down Buziak. You know kiss We kissed Now go. Next time you blow your own nose. Of course I never did I loved having your greatgreatGrandma blow my nose wash my hands  brush my hair

                                                                                        he sighed

Know whaelse

What?

In her bosom

Yes.

She also had money

Money?

Yah

        Anya know whaelse

What?

Gramma had very big breasts

she looked at her chest

Well have to see

                   But  I think if you were alive then

She may have had a little pony in her bosom for you to ride too

eyesbugged NO.

Yah    

1709,  Reggaefriday,  12  7. 24

1151,  Sunday,  14  7. 24

Stones  Coming Down Again  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2WW1XGitEs

without hestitationIm not going in there

she squatted thumbs in the straps of her overalls

                                                      Yasaid you wanted to experience farming.

I did I do but not tha Thadoesnt have to be part of my experience

                                                                       In my defence I have a history

A history?  she stood

                       You grew up in a Chicago suburb.

I did

You’re killing me. What possible history, I can’t imagin . .

. . I didnt either

                 Week after Easter on my paper route I find two chicks in a mesh crate in the middle of the park I delivered papers out of my red Radio Flyer wagon Tossed the chicks on top finished my routes tookem home keptem in the garage was thinking when they got older wed have eggs                         

Turned out they were roosters

   Ornery   roosters

                          I aint goin in

You made that up.

I did not

she stepped towards him Look me in the eye.

                                                 Arya tellin me the truth?

I didnt make it up

I believe you.

You know me better thantha

You like to pull people’s legs.

I do

     AnI love pullin yours being betweenem  Not a story

So you have experience with chickens.

Im not going in

Why?

stepping closer to her he tapped his finger forward of his right temple behind the corner of his eye

                                                                                                       See tha

she leaned forward thought for certain he was gonna grab her headkiss her looked

                                                                                     starshaped scar

Yasee

I do.

A cock can put out someones eye

                                     smiled slyly  grabbed her head kissing her deeply so she couldnt catch a breath to laugh

not a week earlier he had almost taken hers

                                                 adlibbed Skull fuck

1732,  Reggaefriday,  12  7. 24

1022,  Sunday,  14  7. 24

Three Dog Night  Out in the Country  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3gGn6t8Bog

no shock no upset

                       it wasnt he was inured

Kennedy

King

Bobby

he wasnt

           figured he had it coming

the casual way he chatted up violence  bloodbath

formers not an American leader

   maybe

            he was somebody who happened to be standing on Fifth Avenue, okay?

he felt horrible for the people who diedwere wounded behind him    

0919,  Sunday,  14  7. 24  

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/01/23/464129029/donald-trump-i-could-shoot-somebody-and-i-wouldnt-lose-any-voters

“Some people need killing.”

                               Republican Mark Robinson running as a candidate to become North Carolinas governor

https://www.google.com/search?q=N.+Carolina+governor+candidate+says+some+peopleneedkilling&rlz=1C1ILPI_enUS778US778&oq=N.+Carolina+governor+candidate+says+some+peopleneedkilling&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOdIBCjIwNjA3ajBqMTWoAgiwAgE&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:7c981609,vid:JZxLBl-w1wk,st:0

    hmmm

nearly a Magruder instance

1419,  Sunday,  14  7. 24

https://newrepublic.com/article/183443/mark-robinson-north-carolina-gov-candidate-hateful-rant-killing

. . . our thoughts and prayers . . .

                                             isnt tha the line

 

1805,  Saturday,  13  7. 24

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sut9pcNvTUs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy-gt9DHiwk

. . . hadnt a clue whawas next

                                      was always a fine place

fine to be curious to be anxious to discover if hed actually write or take dictation

one of these days hed meet who or whos

                                                 which would be a kick in the head

banjaxed  liked the look of the Irish meant totally ruined wrecked tired or drunk

                                                                                        correction

totally ruined

wrecked

tired

drunk

or

   All of the Above

multiple choice

                 he preferredunlike most his teachers  writing essays

he could be persuasive

if they could read his handwriting

took the US History test  Junior High Social Studies  fail it  not promoted  it was a BIG FUCKIN thing

                                                                                                            fortunately

he broke his left arm twice in succession broke his leg preceding  Eighth Grade had been physically tough

as he was saying

fortunately

              he was lefthanded

forced to write with his right

his teacher asked him to see her after class after test papers were returned

                                                                                she loved essays

I can’t read your writing, but I’ve determined given your involvement, your participation during class, every day, that you understand the material required and I’m promoting you.

took every fibre of his being not to scream MOTHERFUCKER

                                                                          ducked a bullet there

who do you praise for thawhich god hed pull a train if he had to if one understood his drift

there was also this beaut

                            he came around a cornerwalked straight into her  she tried to runaway  he was fastergot her by the hairshould have worn it up

                                        her head was awash with reptiles of resentment still had heryanked her by the hair rage confusion

was creepy even by his standards

whatever it meant

had no idea

              but he liked the imagery

when the reptiles recognised he was restraining her their prey   they began to turncome after him

he let go 

         she shot off like a neverbeforestretched rubberband off a ruler

elementary classroom shit

hurt like hell if it caughtya right

    Whell fuck it  something woud surface

1238 & 1315,  day-between-2-Ts,  19  6. 24

111preferred to 1311,  Saturday,  13  7. 24

Dean Martin  Ain’t That A Kick In The Head  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgozofokf_c

cockaroach

That’s a HUGE cockaroach.

it tickled him how she said it

                             Cockroach

That’s what I said.

                     Why did you have to show me?

No worries I keep the door locked show it to everyone through the glass

Everyone?

Everyone needs to see

Do you feed it?

Nothing

          Havent feed it a thing

Seems to survive on either something I cant see  Or thin air

                                                                   A vermin

And you keep it in the dark?

It prefers not being seen

                          Butgirlie as you saw  flip on that overheard naked 100watt lightbulb it scurries madly tryin to find dark an shadows to hide

                                Its indecent

What’s it called again?you name it?

I did not

           Its called Project 2025  Mandate for Leadership

It’s awfully ugly.

1604,  Monday,  8  7. 24

1133,  Saturday,  13  7. 24

https://static.project2025.org/2025_MandateForLeadership_FULL.pdf

https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnbc-opinion/project-2025-porn-ban-lgbtq-transgender-rcna161562?cid=eml_mda_20240713&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951

https://www.forbes.com/sites/alisondurkee/2024/07/12/project-2025-explained-what-to-know-about-the-controversial-right-wing-policy-map-for-trump/

https://www.msnbc.com/the-weekend/watch/top-project-2025-architect-talks-conservative-blueprint-for-trump-second-term-213497413811?cid=eml_mda_20240623&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plFvyJFi0FE

German Jew Jew German  difference is negligible  was then  that difference was stoked by the caustic hatred of a man who manically swept the countryplied it with his vulgar Aryan WHITE myth

                                                                                       myth

bears repeating  MYTH

his word for it was lie

words have always fascinated him

                                    he exhibited lexophiliac preferred lexiphiliac tendencies

a word lover

two favourites  Jew German German Jew sameness had words for anythingeverything imaginable

verklempt

           from Yiddish farklempt, from German verklemnt, literally pinched, squeezed  defined  overcome with emotion  Oxford Dictionary

trepverter  stairwords  Yiddish

                                   when considering an earlier conversation a witty comeback presents  too late

akin  German  treppenwitz  staircase wit  a calque  literal word for word rendition of the French esprit de l’escalier

   a third beaut

                   however not of the samenesstumble he relished above is wabi-sabi

made him think of palegreen cleanses your sinuses  wasabi

like horseradish and mustard

wabi-sabi  Japanese Art of Impermanence

                                              wabi translates to less is more  sabi means attentive melancholy

together “an awareness of the transient nature of earthly things and a corresponding pleasure in the things that bear a mark of this impermanence”  

a crack in a fine china tea cup

2356,  Monday,  8  7. 24

1034,  Saturday,  13  7. 24

https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/415723/word-for-something-i-should-have-said

https://spencerlowry.com/2018/09/05/10-uniquely-beautiful-words-from-other-languages/

https://www.carnegielibrary.org/staff-picks/wabi-sabi-the-japanese-art-of-finding-the-beauty-in-imperfections/#:~:text=Wabi%20Sabi%3A%20The%20Japanese%20Art%20of%20Impermanence&text=Taken%20from%20the%20Japanese%20words,the%20mark%20of%20this%20impermanence. 

He had to know before they married

People make allowances, compromises.

They do But the death do you part thang imparts a wholly new an different understanding can I put up with this for the rest of my life

               Or their loves life

Hard questions

I liken it to a paper cut every day every week every month every year

                                                                         Paper cuts are minor  arent pleasant

But every fuckin day

   Have you ever shared that before . . with anyone?

I think everyone has their own analog . .

. . Not like that.

                  That’s heinous.

Heinous

Heinous. I whine when I suffer one forever far apart.

                                                          Heinous.

No Ive not bandied it about

You ought to. Can I?I’ll credit you.

Unnecessary

No. Necessary. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m a sick fuck.

OH thanks

That’s pernicious.

Look at you rollin out vocabulary basting words

   she giggled

                 I’m a masterbaster . . no apologizes.

Fuckme

Pretty goodhuh?you’re rubbing off on me.

Loaded

A tad.

            Did I ever tell youya’re my hero?

Screwball

            So youre tellin me he didnt know

He knew when he met her she was a micromanager. He thought she’d leave that at their doorstep, not turn it on him.

A micromanager  I coudnt work for one

You are, kinda, in your own way.

My own projects my own initiative

                                     My own me Im not a teamplayer

Gimme me a wide berth job gets done well efficiently  then the micros can have the product an try an punch holes in it

It

    Not me

There’s that.

Who does his exwife work for

Microsoft.

Ohfuck

         A micromanager at Microsoft

she laughedOh, I didn’t think of that.

Did he before marrying her

He did.

Made his own bed then decided it wasnt for him

                                                    So much for deathvow

2347,  Monday,  8  7. 24

1640,  Reggaefriday,  12  7. 24