nearly shriekedchoked it

                          Didya hear yourself  Just now   Out of your mouth

   What?

Wha Whadafuck

                    Arya cognizant of whayare saying  Do you hear listen  to yourself

genuinely taken aback What did I say?

Say

       Yadon know whaya said

HEY. 

      Maybe you didnt hear me right.

Hear  Me I listen

                    You Yahear me  Theres a keen difference between listening an hearing I know exactly whaya said

   But to be fair the word triggers me

                                           An irrevocable error

Error?

Yes Youre familiar with trepverter

                                     If I knew then wha Ive realisedwha I know now

Ill confess Likely I knew it then

But I wanted to please Cindi Her parents  My parents

                                                           Although I believe she felt as I did

We allowed ourselves to be coerced

chuckling sardonically We conceded We were a product of our time

                                                                      Albeit shoud have been more wary  aware

   Wha did yasay

Oh.

    Got caught up in your narrative.

No My lifeour life wasnt a narrative

                                       A submission

Submitted  Made nice with family with society

                                                   They hadnt been understanding  Forgiving

Our mistake

But whaya said ya fail to recognise understand

                                                    Are seemingly ignorant

What?

   Wha

          Wha truly irks me

I can’t think of what I said that would be irksome.

Ya fuckin kiddin me

                       Came out of your mouth

WHAT came out of my mouth?

    Out of wedlock

                    Wed Lock

Cindi an I woud have been happy without a marriage contract Our love didnt require it

She  I

        We agreed if we had an itch the other coudnt scratch wed respect each other an admit it before going further

   We didnt need a contract

Yours

        You need a contract

Did your love require a contract

   Wedlock.

               I made it as a casual reference.

Lazy  Nothing casual about wedlock   Frankly its damning

                                                                Cindi and I woud have been happy an happy to bear bastard daughters

1225,  Monday – Memorial Day,  27  5. 24

2308,  2sday,  28  5. 24

he knew exactly where this had come from infiltratedinvaded his dreams

                                                                                Towhee salmon

theres no such thing

but it insisted there was

                          You’re talking to one.

he was talking to a fishan awfully animatedexcited salmon

                                                             had seen that same headsame face on Pacific Northwest totems

Towhee salmon

                  Thas whaya said

Yeah.

Okay

        this conversation was set in motion by Gunther Grass The Flounder  a retelling reimagining of Grimms fairytail coudnt help himself Von dem Fischer un syner Fru  The Fisherman and His Wife  had conversed that evening with his daughter about it she pickedup a copy from a Free Library in her neighbourhood

the fish was so enthused he said he was willing to talk with anyone anif he didnt hed burst

Anyone

Yeah.  Saw you were available.

I was asleep

Fuck you. You’re a conduit.

conduit hed be called lotsa names his whole lifewouldnt rise to the bait   but never

   he imagined connedidiot

NO. Conduit.

               You got potatoes growing in your ears?

that was his mothers line

                           No  Can hear just fine

Good. You’ll never guess where I just was.

Wipe your fins at the door before you came in

Of course. I maybe be rude, but not crude. I saw your shoes in the doorway.

Thank you

Of course.  Where?

I don have a guess

                      I woudnt have guessed this

I was in a boil the spawn drove my nose into the redds gobbled eggs sipped split milt. Glorious!

Soya wanted to stop here to say tha before you died

   Died?  I ain’t dying.

Thaswha happens

You’re misinformed.

No Ive seen it Seen it happen in the Kenai streams in Ketchika . .

. . laughed  Ketchihan.

                          Ketch me if ya can, you can’t. Those poor, poor slobs.  Not me. I’m Tony the Salmon.

Tony

Yeah. The Salmon.

   I thought you say towhee

No.

     That’s a bird I look like a bird?

I thought perhaps there was a species called Towhee salmon thas eluded me all these years

Maybe all your years have made you dense, inarticulate.

Maybe

        Or maybe you an I ought to thank our lucky stars were having this conversation orya woud have burst

                                                                                                                    Spilt milt

You like that.

I love it

   Think your cats smell me. Gotta go or they'll eat your face.

Awwell  Thanksmebbe  for stoppin

                                        My pleasure Tony the Salmon

Don’t ya forget it.

early AMish,  2sday,  28  5. 24

1219, 2sday

https://spiritsofthewestcoast.com/collections/the-salmon-symbol

they were killin him For Christssake Call a spade a spade

                                                NOPE  they wouldnt

had to be cute

               fuck cute

over and over they called it anus

   Who says tha

It is though.

It is A rectum too

                   Though common terminology  On the street AssholeYah Bunghole chocolate channel starfish take it up the wazoo Yet you Im guessin in cahoots get hungup

Ya heard me

               Call a spade a spade

   You have to be racist?

I said spade Card suit

                            provoking them Not nigger

YOU CAN’T SAY THAT.

I just did

            A bleached assholeought to see your faces

Grimacing at the thought of it

                                Almost can see it  Ohmygoodness have you bleached your pucker

in unison they pursed their lips

Stop Not an attractive look on adults

                                        But given your reticence sneer Id withdraw considering you as adults

Children

WHAT?because we use proper nomenclature?

Because your obvious disdain

Because we don’t revere it as you do.

   No

       Because youre so freakin uptight I have to loosen my collar                                                     Ya strike me I maybe wrong but ya strike me as unimaginative  unsatisfying   partners

A fixture

          The Missionary position

Anus

Jesus

approximately1430,  Sunday, 26  5. 24

2211,  Memorial Day,  27  5. 24

when he got baked he had a habit

                                       the habit wasntwas getting baked

less than once a weekdefinitely not enough to develop a tolerance

                                                                        easier said  a cheap date

it didnt take much to toss him

                                that it didnt was wholly dependent on him

while others rushing forwardleading the charge wanted him to follow he demurred

they engaged in the inevitable play of fools which he deemed childish  peerpressure

No thanks I like being high a couplethree hours enjoy its tailend  the residuals

they loved to blaze

                       which wasnt to say he hadnt on occasion

however when he got high now

                                 he had an ulterior motive

he really shouldnt insist now

                                now had been awhile since college

Poetry professor was Irish could speak Gaelic had hundreds and hundreds of classic an not so classic poems memorised stood at the head of every class and began by reciting one exquisitely emotionally

                                                                                       he wouldnt miss a one  was in awe

professor also introduced them to his writing

                                                as exquisite  terribly more emotional

ending  often wiped tears from eyes with a handkerchief

he taughtloved poetry

                         he demanded his students write poetry which was not in the course description

fashion them like their grade depended upon it

                                                   it did

he always sat at the front of the class if threefour rows back he could guarantee something would distract him

didnt take much

                   sitting upfront nearest professor the man never let him down emanated booze

which he thought was kindakrazy

                                    class was TenAM the man was loadedSO GOT MILK?

therefore when poetry was assignedrequired he got stoned

at quarters end one by one students filed to the front of the room stood before his desk where their final grades pronounceddisseminated

                            it one of the few college As he earned

Professor Cillian O’Connor asked him if he would kindly stay after

Of course

Young man, your poetry was consistently excellent, consistently.

Thank you sir

Your imagery astonishing.

Thank you However sir your poems provided outstanding examples anhow coud I not try to  to compete with you

Ohmy, thank you very much, although if I may, and you needn’t share if you don’t wish, might you elaborate on your method . . your he rolled his hands over and over each other before his chest preparation, situation . . . how where you’re able to write?

he chuckled warmly

                       If you’ll excuse me I actually followed your method

My method?

I presume

Yes.  You presume what?

I presume you sit with a bottle of whiskey  oillubricate your vivid imagination

                                                                                     I got high

High?

   Stoned Fired up a joint hit a bong sometimes indulged a sweetsliver of hashishwish I had access to absinthe I have felt the wind on the wing of madness Baudelair . .

. . Les Fleurs du Mal.

Yah

Hmm. I should like to try your method someday.

Funny you should say

                           he went to his breastpocket retrieved a joint I twisted one up for you holding it on end pointing up at the fluorescent lighting fixtures white plastered ceiling he held it out to him  Sir I am grateful to have experienced your class

it wasnt really an ulterior motive

                                    an obsession

high hed split  get some distance between him the carelesscarousers  pen paper clipboard  muse

                                                                                                          readily snatched soundbites  reels

they pestered him

felt it was their job

What are you writing now?

Ive no idea yet

                Just making notes Ideating

Ideating?

           Sounds like that hurts.

Best possible hurt

last week two of rovers moseyed over came up behind him

                                                               You haven’t scribbled yet?should have been a tagger . .

. . Who says Im not

                      Should have been a doctor

Nothing?

          I've seen you flushed with pages.

Unmoved today  Though no worries I have ideas at home

We haven’t moved you?

Not todaynope

               slightly it irritated himslightly  that the bevy falling on their face hadnt interestedpiqued him once

Fuckin voyeur shehe heshe muttered

inwardly he chided them Keep it to yourself I don wanna hear

they shrugged

DON

     Not a word

they drifted away

he made his goodbyes

went home fixed dinner let the silent white page keep to itself

next morning he sat black cup of Joe in righthand pen in left digesting three raw eggs they never made it to be boiled scrambled fried frittataed omeletteed waste of time and energy  looked at the empty page

                                                                                          Whawas tha about

then

      at the bottom of the page

upsidedown

reverseside of a bank statement

looked again

he laughed deeplywholeheartedly

small font all caps

                                        THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK

approximately0830,  Memorial Day – commemorating those who died protecting our Democracy,  27  5. 24

1611,  Memorial Day

he was grateful for the bumpy flight

                                     but he loved rollercoaster rides

he wasnt keen it was going to Dallas  intermediary   terminating in Chicago

                                                                                  but had he flown direct he would have missed this air

and her

when he reached his middleseat she was at the window

                                                             Good morning he said

she just noddedsmiled large

                             maybe she didnt understand English or maybe since it was very early she either wanted to sleep or did not want to risk engaging him if he was one of those passengers who  if given permission  talked on and on an on

in the air she reclined her seat

                               her breasts trembledjiggled under her yellow thin cotton sweater that went ohso terribly well with her milkcoffee complexion  flawless like a caramel apple

                                                                        her nipples  hinting

however

          she could have taken the red blanket sprawled in her lap and covered herself

rather

        she seemed unconcerned comfortable  her large brown eyes knowing  radiating confidence  epicanthal folds  inviting

       made him want to faintfall deep into them

her demeanor  warm

                      her lips ever-so-slightly parted the tip of her tongue played between the edges of her teeth

the flight attendants cautiouslyserved beverages as the jetliner continued on bumpy air

she asked for ginger ale and water

he for a halfcup black coffee an water

                                       it was cool  sipping it he held it in his mouth to better appreciate the air currents  it played with his tongue tickled the roof of his mouth

    she spoke Would you excuse me, please? and placing the blanket on the armrest beneath the porthole she stood

Of course he went to stand to enter the aisle the unencumbered woman who had the aisle seat had gotten up before the beverage service and not returned

                                       but she stayed him firmly touched his forearm  No, you’re fine, you needn’t get up. as she effortlessly lifted her leg over hisher back to him straddling him

the aircraft hit a updraft

                         unexpectedunprepared for its suddenness she dropped into his lap

the violence increased

he held her by the hip and ribs

a wild vibration going through them

he was stirredfelt himself despite himself  grow   press against her

she felt him leaned rightlooked over her shoulder  let the strength go out of her legs

the plane continued to bounceskitter

                                     over the intercom the pilot instructed the flight attendants to immediately take their seats the passengers to remain seated until he said otherwise

she then looked straight ahead sat upright

this was mutual a one-of-a-kind opportunity

                                              unlikely to be recreated by two strangers for a long long time

they were enjoying it for all strangers

                                       he took his hand from her hip placed on her ribs where he felt the weight of her breasts jiggle on his fingers the light weight of her body in his lap

an inadvertentunexpected lap dance

an expected Happy Ending

                               was INSANE

               

archival  Saturday,  6  3. 04

1126,  Sunday,  26  5. 24

Edison Lighthouse  Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvJp907_l_4 

Cicada

Tastes like chicken because everything tastes like chicken

                                                            except fish now plant-based f!sh

Right

How do you get past their beady red eyes?

I close mine

               Or snap their noggin off wings an legs got to go too unlike chicken

Eat ‘em raw?

Have Although I like them roasted

                                        Theres one other thing however I have to add to this discussion

Disgustion.

Goodness  How clever are you

                                   I take it Ill not convince you to join me

No. Emphatically no.

I can appreciate that

                        But afterall youve not been an adventurous soul

I’ve had my adventures. I’ve tried your pig’s feet.

Trust me  Not really tha adventurous

                                           Rocky Mountain oysters

Noway.

   I rest my case

                    Concluding as I had begun to conclude earlier

Yes.

Thank you

             When one says cicada tastes like chicken  Ive taken it up with a loquacious cock an he tipped his comb to a passing hen an said No. I ate her and she tasted nothing like cicada.

stonefaced Really?  You really going there?

Yes Really   Why youre not adventurous

                                             Tellinya man  Youre really missin out

1710,  Reggaefriday,  24  5. 24

0859,  Sunday,  26  5. 24

bon appetit  https://www.bonappetit.com/uncategorized/article/how-to-cook-cicadas-according-to-3-richmond-va-chefs

hustle

he was hustlinghad a habit to feed

Mrs Bayer called  left a message

                                   she cancelled the patio pour tomorrow

he called back

                Mrs Bayer.

Billy.

Yes.

How can I help you?

Wouldya lemme pour tomorrow, bitch. he didnt say that

                                                            If I may, I’ve a schedule to keep, if I can’t pour tomorrow that will affect my projects timeline and I can’t say when I’ll be able to work you back in.  I would be negligent if I didn’t remind you . . our contract.

Oh no, I understand, we have a contract, whenever you’d be able to work me back in is fine, however not for the next six weeks.

Whadafuck! he didnt say

                             Not for six weeks. cash now May I ask why?

The cicada.

The bug?

Yes. They’re everywhere. I can’t walk on my lawn without stepping on them. I certainly don’t want them on or entombed in my freshnew patio.

                        I imagine you can understand.

MONEY

         Mrs Bayer. You expressly asked that while I’m finishing off the patio I leave the southwest corner wet so you could write in it.

Yes.

Dating it, likely, your name, likely.

Yes.

Have you thought about this? MONEY The cicada happen only every thirteen seventeen years. Their tiny footprints would be, well, kinda historic, and you may be, I don’t know about other contractors, but you may be the only one who would have permanent evidence of this time.

                                         Really kinda historic.

I didn’t think of that.

I did bitch MONEY

                   I’m just saying.  Or.

   Or?

You can enter a venture with me. We can take advantage of these bugs. You said you have lots?

Yes, disgusting, you wouldn’t believe it, can’t walk anywhere without stepping on them.

Perfect. Ground floor. Novelty item. MONEY Chocolate-covered cicada. And I’ve no problem eating a few in front of people to sell ‘em. I remember the chocolate-covered peanutbutter balls you shared with me when we poured the pad for your storage.

         Delicious. 

MONEY I’ve looked it up.

Oh my goodness, my gosh . .

. . No no listen, I’ve looked it up.

                                  They contain twentyonepointfour grams of crude protein per onehundred grams, which is onepointsix percent more than that found in pork and eggs, and in contrast with, and much less than pork and beef, its crude fat content is awfully low, twopointsix grams per onehundred grams.

I looked it up. I’m not jiving you. MONEY

I’ll tell you what, Billy.

                       If you come today, collect all the cicada you can and can minimise them on my patio, I can suffer a few footprints for posterity. I’d also cover that time, we’ll call it a bonus, and pay half of tomorrow’s pour upfront too.

MONEY

       You’re a goddess, Mrs Bayer, an absolute goddess.

she giggled

             Mr Bayer called me that while we were dating. Thank you.

No, thank you. I’ll be right over.

Billy hustled

2006,  Reggaefriday,  24  5. 24

1023,  Saturday,  25  5. 24

ttps://site.extension.uga.edu/foodscienceandtechnology/add-a-little-crunch-to-your-diet-with-cicadas-how-to-harvest-store-and-prepare-food-from-brood-xix-emergence-in-georgia/#:~:text=Nutritionally%2C%20cicadas%20are%20quite%20valuable,that%20of%20pork%20and%20beef.

interesting  AMbiguous    says nothing at all

                                                 however  nothing resides in formers head

nothingNADA

had to put in tempting his two cents

formers a cunt

                 a terribly easy target  wished someone would take it

eejits

        the former the state of Louisianahe liked N‘awlins attended Mardi Gras  almost feltup a preop trans with really fuckin amazing tits

                    but he was xtremelyhigh on hash

great excuse

               would have suck her tits but not his cock

interesting

“Do you support any restrictions on a person’s right to contraception?”

former dildo  “We’re looking at that. he got a mouse in his trousers We’re going to have a policy on that very shortly, and I think it’ll be something you find interesting. And I’d say that’s another issue you’ll find interesting. But, you will find it, very smart. I think it’s a smart decision.”

                                            hmmm  not a damn thing smart this failing-of-a-man has ever done

  

1601,  Saturday,  25  5. 24

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/trump-says-he-s-looking-at-restricting-birth-control-access-211503685938