. . . rolled his eyes

                     

I saw tha comin

You really believe in that?

Im not talkin reincarnation Talkin prologuewha comes before

                                                                 Maybe thabehind the screen thas come down to me

Behind the screen.

                         What the hell are you talking about?

The razorthin gossamer the veil between being alive an not-alive

   Not-alive.

                Dead.

Whas dead

What’s dead? Are you kiddin’ me?

Its openanclose quotemarks dead  to us who are living

                                                               Beyond us Dead  Since I aint died I don know wha dead is

Anya don know either

Of course I do.

Youve died

No.

No

      Then you have no source no evidence to draw from yaknow shit  You have an uninformed opinion anwha have I told you about them

Don’t say.

Id rather not  Tedious

Thank you.  I thought you might.

Past is prologue. What’s your pointyour . screen . or veil?

You know me yaknow my habits proclivities know my hint   my social habits

he laughed out loud

                     Social habits? What social habits?

I said it was a hint

                       Run with it

   Run with zero social habits.

And wha man  a bigger hint nineteenth century man   do I remind you of

Nineteenth century.

                      You know its the twentyfirst century.

I know yare draggin your feet

   Listen, I don’t want to play.

Keep your nifty little mind open to the evidence

Evidence?

             What you’re going to lay on me from beyond alive not-alive is evidence?

For my formation yes

Formation? Is this a soul thing?

I told you it has nothing to do with reincarnation

                                                      Where were you roaming before you came here

Roaming? Fuck. I wasn’t roaming anywhere.

You were The author Big Bang fashioned you

                                                  Youve been in text since the beginning of time

I have no free will free choice?

You do Of course you do

                            If you were a storytelleryoure not but if you were or a writer youd know characters are stubborn  Think bottle rocket Yare a bottle rocket yare goin off like a streak  Ohfuckno Up Hard left hard right veering

I said like a streak Who the hell are you

Stubborn They create themselves

   No thanks. That’s working too hard.

                                            A nineteenth century man.

Evidence is I read I write I walk I research I swim I exercise prefer solo projects I prefer my company to others

Amen brother.

Mountain man

                 If I were to approach the four  no six women Im closest most intimate with an ask them  theyd agree

A mountain man?

Unfettered independence

A mountain man?

Ya donsee tha

Awright. What have you.  What do you think of my formation, as you say?

A worrying gadabout

                        Upside A gadfly  Ruffled shirts puffy sleeves likely a stylish powdered wig done up with ribbons

Wow!

       Thanks.

Bro Shoe fits wear it

1547,  Reggaefriday,  12  1. 24

1412,  Saturday,  20  1. 24

bullshitting

           leaning againstbetween cars under a sicklyyellow cone of streetlight

during gaps in scats of conversation they could hear crickets somewhere in the surrounding darkness

                                                                                                            They’re lucky.

Lucky? How are they lucky they’re bugs?

No no, I should have said they’re a symbol of good luck.

   Crickets?

In China.

           They’re also believed to be a symbol of prosperity, wealth, and abundance.

Weel fuck, we certainly enjoy an abundance of neither.

Speak for yourself

Like you got a pot to piss in.

I got wha I need

Like need is sufficient?

Listen to this guy wouldya, got what I need.

                                               Man, you lack ambition.

You two are ambitious

It’ll come.

Damnright.

Ambitiously waitin on your old man to die leave you scads of cash

they both deadeyed him

                            he shruggedOooh Frightening  I coud knock the snot out of bothya at once

You think.

he hefted himself off the red Ford Starliner  Know

                                                          Gents Care to dance

they remained flatback against a yellow Chevy Nova

   I could shoot you in the face.

Run home to your Daddys house Ill wait

I could kill somebody . you.

If yave killed somethin yacoud kill somebody

                                                   Whaveya killed

I went hunting onc . .

. . Nobodys talkin to you

                          he gave him steelyeyes had known both since boys they knew he worked summers on farms ranches in Illinois Indiana and Wisconsin

                                    then shifted eyes to killer

Killed

         Im all ears

I’m just saying I could.

                           I could if I had to protect my family an frien . .

. . Friends

   crickets chirped

chirped

Me

chirped

 Yeah. You.

silently he leaned back against the car rolled his shoulders surgeries made them ache when he got irritated 

Say.  You two are a real pair.

   Yah

         Howbout dem apples

 

1102,  Saturday,  20  1. 24

Dylan  Highlands  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxDU9Q2RDBc

contending with Oblivionthe Oblivion

                                          he used humour ifya he didnt laugh hed cry  liver an onions

                                                                                          ob liv ion

                                                                                            See

  saw

seesaw

merrygoround

swingsanslides

anjunglegyms

white cotton pants

white crew socks

Converse gymshoes

spitshined oxblood pennyloafers

crewcuts

pigtails bobbed bangs ponytails

                            Youth

slippedpast lookinforward to being on his own

on his own

              slippedpast 

in the rearview mirror

skys darkening

                 Oshit 

Its not the sky

1501,  Reggaefriday,  12  1. 24

1038,  Saturday,  20  1. 24

Dylan  Love Sick  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5y_VTtGujPI

. . . Would you quit with that?

When you quit with tha

Quit.

Yes

    Don speak bout whaya don know

I can have an opinio . .

. . No

      If its not informedya don know   You think yathink ya know but ya know horseshit  Horseshit doesnt support an opinion

   You don’t have opinions?

Not about wha I don know no

                               Nough shit floatinround this world out of the mouths of morons

You a moron maroon idiot eidget

I’m not.

Good

         Then shaddup

Keep your twocents to yourself when youre around me  I do not suffer fools

                                                                               Valuable lesson my parents taught me as a boy

A boy?

Yah

     Thaya should have learned as a boy too

Its a parents obligation Like sex education My parents didnt throw me over to school to inform me High school I refused to take the class Pissed off more than a few people State curriculum  My mother backed me

Id take the final at the outset

I didnt pass it

Id submit to the class

Ended up in a full period study hall because I passed ended up there because my parents informed me

                                                                                                             Just forgot the bits about homos and lesbians About transsexuals

First three weeks in college were a mindfuck

   Its a parents obligation

he watched his head go hangdog

                                     Whereof  Thereof

Shorthand  But thas all the time I got for ya after repeatedlytoo often saying so  Why do you persist

Because . . I feel I’m welcome to my opinion.

Not around me

                 Save it for your friends

You’re a friend.

Who steers you right

                      Not one of your titillated for shit rumormongerers

1523,  Reggaefriday,  12  1. 24

0055,  Reggaefriday,  19  1. 24

Wittgenstein  Tractatus 7  Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.

Not autistic

Havent Aspergers

Fuck spectrum

Theyre not me

                 Just

Don touch me

I don like it  

               I don like it no more

his mother stroked his head

                               Are you listening to yourself. That’s not my boy.

Maw

     he grabbed her wriststilled her hand took it from his headresisited  No boy  Not no more

Im tellinya where Ive landed

                               Its not your fault not your guilt  Im stealinem from ya

Consequences

Accountable

Penance howbout penance

                                  I think youd like to think this is my penance  Yah

No.

Why

What you’ve said is ugly.

Ugly An ugly truth   It aint usually pretty

                                             Me    Im honest

I don need a confessional

I can look in a mirror an confess

                                      I don like to be touched

Makes me uncomfortable

   Im not worthy

I refuse to be in debtrefuse to owe

                                       Thamakes sense

No.

    That’s terriblethat's harsh.

Maw

      Arent consequences accountability penance punishment  necessarily harsh

Yataught me choices carry weight

The question always

                       Was I willing to bear it

Yah  I was I am

Yaraised me right raised me to assessunderstand my decisions

Ive not made blind decisions

This is where they have lead me

   Im good

             Im good Maw

It don hurt

It hurts me more than it hurts you?

I don know  It shoudnt

                         If it does thas on you my love On you

1500,  Saturday,  13  1. 24

0117,  Thursday,  18  1. 24

Wheres my phone

  Anybody

wasnt that they were ignoring him they were in their own worldswhether in conversation or alone bent over their phone doing something or other

                          Karls phone crapped outdidnt have a charger

Could I borrow yours to make a quick call? 

Sure he had to go into his carryingbag to produce it Knock yourself out

he stopped at Black Sheep for a drinkhis watering hole he didnt share that with a soul one of very few things he was greedy aboutlike a secret when you have one you dont say

Karl

Yeah?

My phone

I set it on the table.

On the table  Why

It’s your table.

My table hand you my phone his shouldersneck bunched  Whadafucks with people 

That makes no sense.

Sense As in you not handing it back to me

It’s friends here.

Next time borrow from someone elses

                                       Don ask me  Spent your dime

Don’t get worked up. I returned it placed it on the table.

Joe.

     hand on his shoulder  firm

he turned away from Karl

Karl wandered 

                   Sam

Here.

You had it

For safe keeping.

                  Saw you loaned it saw him set it down. What kind of server would I be if I didnt make sure you were not for wantif I didnt keep an eye peeled for you?

Aw youre the bestComere Wanna give you a hug

she stepped towards him liked his hugs

he stepped to her he liked hugging herteasing her that fortunatelyunfortunately always something keeping them apartcoming between them

                              her breasts

warmed the cockles of his heartSam was endowed

too bad she was in a relationship

they broke

           Joe. Man.  I love your hugs.

Yahweel you make my heart skip a few beats too

   Back to work. You good? pointed at his drink

For now Thank you

No sweat. Got an eye on you.

Thanks for holding

Yabetch

          Not only is he lackadaisical he’s unthinking . . . and a lousy tipper.

AwJesus he laughed

                           Yacrack me up Sam

Later.

he stopped for a drinkhad two

                               was polite social performative hadnt a clue how they found out about Black Sheep said he stopped in randomly

                         emphasised  random

he took his glass to Sam asked her to close him out

It’s early.

Intimacy was disrupted Didnt see them coming 

I dig . .

. . Dig

You mind? Stole it from you.

I dig Makes me smilebut yamake me smile

You make me smile.  I’m awfully happy you find intimacy, quiet, here.

Anthas in no small part to you Sam

Aw shucks. she dug her toe in the groundcupped her shoulder her blouse opened a tad more cleavage smiled at him he smiled back

     Be right back don’t move a muscle.

she walked away

he liked watching her walk away as much as towards him JESUS 

they settledup

                A little something extra for you watchin out for me Sam

That’s not necessary.

It is

     Now comere ansee ifya can snap my spine despite your impediments

stepping towards him she cuppedclutched her breaststhey swelledwere lacquered appealing in the amberlight  barked The grrls? No such impediments.

let go of their embrace

                           sensational hugger one of a couplethree here who could compete with his gang in Chitown

the walk fivesomethingmiles home was pleasant  evening pleasant

reheated some lentil barley soup buttered sourdough slices

finished eating washing the dishes poured himself a couple fingers of Drambuie wandered into the livingroom to the receiver turned on a jazzblues radio station went to the bathroom set the tumbler on a shelf above the clawfoot tub lit a candle made himself a hot lavenderscented bath  relaxed

                                                               achieved quietude the intimacy of self

before going to bed he laid out his clothes

                                            went through his blackleather carryingbag swapped out a book for another removed filed and replenished pages on the clipboard checked his phone battery plenty went to turn it off

                                                                                                                 Wha the hell

on the protective cover smackdabcenter  a rouge lipstick kissSam

                                                                       her colour

crazy

       but not unlike the Sam he knew

opened it

saw numbnuts Recent call

reversed 

          Photos

wondered

             tapped the icon

it opened to twelve most recent images

                                         last lowerright video   Sam grinning

he tapped it could hear the music in the bar

                                           she blew him a kisslaughed stepped away undid her belt looped it over her headaround her neck tugged on ittightened it like a leash  let it dangle

                                                                           began a sensuous audacious erotic strip 

buckravishingnaked except for darkgreen kneehigh socks shoes belt she stepped forwardher eyes went down  Whacha got there?laughed

                       her eyes came up  Call me.

blew him another kiss

                        screen went BLACK

AMish,  day-between-2-Ts,  17  1. 24

1341,  day-between-2-Ts

he breezed into Punchbowl News AM on-line this morning and read “TO BE SURE, a border deal is still a ways off. Negotiators haven’t yet found a way to bridge their divisions over presidential parole authority, which Republicans want to restrict.”

whichperhaps should have been written  . . . which Republicans want to restrict Biden   

   Republicans the bug up Americas ass 

they had no concerns regarding presidential parole authority while former was in office

delving into the history of parole authority that twists Reds panties he learned it “. . . has existed in immigration law for more than 70 years and has been variously and extensively used by both Democratic and Republican administrations . . . (it) allows individuals to enter the United States for limited period of time for urgent humanitarian reasons or significant public benefit . . .”

                 70 YEARS  

Republican majority 118th Congress managed to muster a meagre 34 bills last year it is the least productive Congress since the Great Depression

                             which hed pose is due to The Big Lie the January6 Insurrection Republican personalities who lack substance  who exhibit an abysmal repugnant lack of Humanity  lack of intellect talent  their GOBsmacking unseriousness

they are unfit public servants

1027,  day-between-2-Ts,  17  1. 24

https://www.americanprogress.org/article/the-biden-administrations-use-of-immigration-parole-authority-is-a-smart-and-lawful-approach-to-todays-migration-challenges/

https://www.refugeesinternational.org/reports-briefs/supplementary-protection-pathways-to-the-united-states-lessons-from-the-past-for-todays-humanitarian-parole-policies/

https://www.congress.gov/browse/118th-congress

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/118th-congress-track-become-productive-us-history/story?id=106254012#:~:text=The%20115th%20and%20116th%20Congresses,bills%2C%20according%20to%20the%20data

https://www.axios.com/2023/12/19/118-congress-bills-least-unproductive-chart

. . . really . . it’s nothing more than a matter of discipline.

                                                            he closed his eyesnodded pursuant he may have imagined himself sage gravitas

which he wouldnt bestow no way no how in hell

                                                All ears Buddha Continue   Im listening

It’s relative. A incise matter of internal, external discipline, conjoinedcomingled.

he opened his eyeslooked on him

   Im listening

What is it you can’t or are unable to discern?

Discernment This is your argumentnot mine

                                               Theres no reason I shoud discern Not as you stand before me  exercised  eager  wanton to extoll the virtues of discipline whichif I may   if I may probably understand anave benefitted from more holistically than you

Sosay

he sniffed Internally, and externally.

Meaning

   How one submits themselves.  Externally. Submits to . .

. . Authority

                 Authority

Yes.

Disciplined by authority

Yes.

Coerced

I didn’t say that.

You didnt
             I did

Thas not discipline

It is.

    Heads tails    Yinyang

Complementary forces

Don’t get caught up in the wee . .

. . Weeds

             I disagree

With your assessment

Youve been reading again

Do you disagree that they exists?

No

    Though I believe one should only submit to themselves External is prophylactic an artifice either to breakdown or be broken down

                  Sooner the better

1448,  Reggaefriday,  12  1. 24

2254,  2sday,  16  1. 24

he had no idea how he got into shit

seemed it was a knack

a friend big house  threw a party

he was hesitant to attend

                           You know how often you blow me off?I ask you say you’ll think about it, end of day, not the next day or two later you call, thank me, decline.

I said Id think about it

Come.

         Please. Got some people coming who are as bizarre as you.   Afraid of a little competition?

Youre not gallin me

Not my intention. I’m just saying.

                                     The facts, ma’am, nothing but the facts.

he called that evening

Well?

Ill be there

             Wha can I bring

Yourself.

You know me

                I bring something or I cant make it

Awright awright. Ice for in the drinks.

Crushed Cubed

Sure.

        Both.

Ill be there

a number were unique

                        but not bizarre  not to his standard

he wasnt bizarre

just wayaway of mainstream

he couldnt take a leak on the grounds per usualwater the plants the two heads downstairs were in use figured master bedroom bath

                 out of bounds

door shut

out of bounds

he bounded in

               Ooops  closed the door behind him

sitting on the bed a woman Claire he met that afternoon was expressing herself

pretty sleek equipment

                         function primary

Claire also functional

primacy 

          primal

Excuse me walking towards the bathroom door Need to hit the head

she noddeddistracted  busy

he washed his hands rapped on the door alerting her to his exit

                                                                   Not necessary. Come. I’m nearly done.

he walked over to the bed

                             Joe

Yes I remember.

                  Introduced strange Joe.

Actually strange is my middle name Joe strange

she chuckled coloured her faceheightened her freckles

Whas your story

I’m a surrogate. Fell into this sweet deal with the parents. They’re covering me maintaining my lactation. Turns out I’m so plentifully I donate.

Dairy cow

You’re not looking to score points.

No Call a spade a spade

   Or a dairy cow.

                         absently There.  Finished.  she removed the breast pad

a tantalising pearl seepedmarbledappeared at the very tip of her nipple

                                                                               May I

followed his eyes

                   May you . . what?

he didnt answerleaned forward gently upswiped her nipple with his indexfinger  dolloped the drip licked it

her nipple firmed

                   Really?

As a baby  had swallowed hard  ached a sixpak of wet nurses from the neighbourhood Was a fat baby  Twentysixpounds at six months

                                     Obviously fond of breastmilk  Cant take tha out of a boy

Are you done

No.

You havent expressed your left breast

   No.

May I

May you?

May I

         On tap

Tap?

     her nipples hardened

he believed joyously

                     I imagine things have been at a remove remote   Clinical Rigorous   Stringent  

nodding They have.

Care for some humanity

Humanity?

Selfserving

              Though I believe helpin myself Id be helpin you also  Win-win Claire

   I don’t  know.

he slowlyachingly reached to her breast deliberately upbrushed her nipple she sucked in a breath  involuntarily she expressed

             I know  I know

gently he pushed her backshe didnt resist on the bed

                                                       took her breast in both hands reminded him of his childhood hot summer treat a huge slice of chilled watermelon greedybites juice leaked from the corners of his mouth to his throat wetted his tshirt front

   one thing lead to another

he hadnt had sex with a lactating woman before

   they exchanged numbers

AMish,  2sday,  16  1. 24

1510,  2sday