he found a moist perch in a footdeep Uformed concrete gutter along a road stamped in intervals facing it 

M U backwardC C O  clever  MUDCO  so apropos for a concretework company

                                                                                    that worked through his head

before he could relate to the juxtaposition

fish out of water

it was doing its damnedest

                            dorsal laid down fins held tight to its sides holding its breath

he leapt over the gutter scrambled up an iceplant like anenomes incline over shrubs onto a driveway garage open big galvanised bucket crossed the drive a spigot gushed water tapped it off sprang down the incline it hadnt turned blue

maybe only people turn blue when hypoxemic apoplectic fins were laxlimp picked it up with both hands and pushed it through the water againanagainanagain if it had lungs hed have made sure its airway was clear and blown until he was blue

           a shiver

againanagainanagain

                        spasm

againanagainanagainanagainanagain

                                         shake

againanagainanagainanagainan

                                   a tailslap

Hey man, that’s my bucket, what are you doing with it?

                                                           with such impeccablebrilliance hed never throw a shadow

ignored him

againanagainan

                  whawere the chances he was deaf 

I said man . . that’s my bucket. 

                                 at least he narrowed it

stood on his drive

lanky shrubbery seemed an impediment

                                            wiggling

againanagain

I sai . .

. . Savin a fish

                A perched perch to be precise    fuckin incredible           he didnt wonder the cause

no sense nonsense wondering whawas  

wasnt a suicide

he let it go

it strayed around the bucket

a lake was threequartermiles off

taking the bucket in both hands he stood

                                            Ill bring it back

It’s my bucket.

                whawere the chances he was deaf

1305,  Monday,  11  9. 23

1326,  2sday,  12  9. 23

she shook her headsat back on the couch they shared

                                                        Man she was dismayed For such a bright guy you have such a crappy attitude.

   Good cop bad cop

What?

Bright guy crappy attitude

                            Complimentary  Detracting    Which is it

   I love looking at you your face. So while I’m away and we talk it’d be nice to see you.

Aint happenin

               You know I didnt care for Skypesame damn thing  Face-times an intrusion

I’m an intrusion?

Stop

        I didnt say tha

It feels like you said it.

But I didnt

            You like it you do it yare welcome to it I don   I wont

Won’t?

Will not

But why not? he reached downgrabbed her thigh she oohedgiggledWhat are you doing?

Wha I cant on face-time

                          I am you are threedimensional  Why woud I we want to be twodimensional not be able to touch miss subtle body motionspositionings miss  if you woud    our auras meld  meddle

Its a convenience

Yare not convenient

You are necessary

   Baby yare the only soul in the world Id face-time  but Im wont

Good cop bad cop.

1749,  Monday,  11  9. 23

1154,  2sday,  12  9. 23

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB4W9np4JJk

. . . so why writ . .

                  he cut him off

Why breathe  Why write thas crap  You shortcut it with phone calls cheap shorthanded texts punctuated with shitty acronyms you fail to explain 

                                Because      Because yare lazy

Too much an effort  Exhausting huh   Christ even use predictive text 

   No.

Im listening

not angersomething he hoped it was embarrassment twistedspazzed his face

Still listening asif a singular no could answered his accusations

                                                               Howbout  Flannery O’Connor I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say. Joan Didion I don’t know what I think until I write it down.

Unfortunately thasaid  I don think you know either writer do you

                                                                       Maybe a question you can answer

Ah definitely anger 

Im listening

sharply What do you want me to say?

Why breathe

0942,  2sday,  12  9. 23

https://lithub.com/why-human-writing-is-worth-defending-in-the-age-of-chatgpt/?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Lit%20Hub%20Daily:%20September%2012%2C%202023&utm_term=lithub_master_list

Uuu uuu he quit  sounded like Toody of Toody and Muldoon the cop pairing from Car 54, Where Are You?

Did you . .

. . Uuu uuu

              I did

That’s from an old television show.

Car 54

Yeah. That’s it.

It is

So what’s that about?

I was thinkin . .

. . Do I want to know?

Not tha you necessarily want to know Rather wha you know tha I cant remember it being waay outside my purviewof any interest to me

But within mine?

Ohgodyah

            Your recent lifeblood assurance of life living purpose

My life, living, and purpose?

Definitively  Cryinboutit aaall the time 

You want to give me a hint?

A hint

      Arya fucking kiddin me take a breath Whas been overwhelming you these past few months

   sheepishlyguessing  My dating? 

Duh  Youre on-line

                    You seem to have its codes down

Codes?

Vernacular  Code  I coud give a rats ass but something occurred to mebrought out my inner Toody

Inner . . Toody?

The character from 54

54?

Car

OH. YEAH. The television show.

Yahlook at you pickinup the pieces puttinem together  InnerToody

                                                                      Uuu uuu

I gotcha.

We on the same page

We are.

            What would youwhat vernacular . . would you like to know that I possess.

Hold on lets not lose our shit

You said I . .

. . I said code   You seem to have it down

lookin regal I possess.

Yah mastah  shakin his headChrist

   What?

Answer me a simple question  Woudya   Please

Alright. How can I help?

Thank you

            Whas the term used on-line when someone posts a picture of themselves when they were youngernot recent

I know that.   I know that. 

                             I do know that.

he shut his trap

                 saying a word woudnt grease his wheels woudultimately distract him an hed blame him for interrupting foulingup his thinking 

I know this.

encouragingly  Yes you do you possess

I do.

he had a way of slowing Time down 

                                        Time saddledup beside him   He still thinking?   Hes got it   You think?   He said he did   What do you think?   Eventually   You want me to chime or something?   You know hes thinkinbout wha I asked   I do.   You do   I’m Time, nothing escapes me until you croak.   Gentlehuh   Everybody’s so touchy ‘bout that.   Yah  Havent been here thirteenpointeight billion years have we   There’s that.

UUU uuu.

Hes got it

I’ll leave you in peace.

Anmay peace be with you

Cut the crap.

                 then Time was adios

Whachagot

It’s called catfishing, or a type of catfishing pretending they’re someone they’re not . . but were. Posting a younger picture of themselves.

BAM Thas it

              Thaank you Was killing me

You’re welcome. then perplexed flooded his face Why was it you wanted to know?

You asked me do I want to know

I want to know.

Do you

Yes.  I hurt my head coming up with catfishing.

   Yah Looked like it hurt

Thanks for not saying nothinginterrupting me.

Had company was being patient

You are patient.

Thank you.

Yeah yeah.  I wanna know.

Awright

         I think there ought to be a law thatthank you catfishing only be allowed when ones photograph is published with their obit

AwJesus.

Yasaid ya wanted to know

                             Thas on you

afternoon,  Monday,  4  9. 23

1142,  Monday,  11  9. 23

Uuu uuu  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVk9jR0tYec

Republicans are trying really fucking hard to rebrand themselves by attacking Democrats for their War on Babies

now Utah senator Mike Lee has stepped in the same shit that dog gets around that Alabama senator Tommy Tuberville did he struggles not to call him Tumorville  provide cover for his inane thought process

                                                                               and neither has a stick to scrap off the shit from the heels and soles of their shoes

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/gop-senator-raises-specter-defunding-defense-secretary-rcna104352?cid=eml_maddow_20230911&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951&utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=TRMS%209/11/23&utm_term=Rachel%20Maddow%20Show

https://www.mediaite.com/news/i-hate-to-break-it-to-you-msnbcs-jen-psaki-mocks-republican-abortion-re-brand-drops-bad-news-about-rape-exception/

1548,  Monday,  11  9. 23

from NPR which disturbed him   he thought more of them

                                                              “For many Americans, – many the descriptor  it didnt describe him – 9/11 – which he refuses to call it  September 11, 2001 – is now simply a date to mark, much like December 7th with the Pearl Harbor attacks. – that is not an apt comparisonno equivalence – . . . The talk is not of 9/11, the subsequent invasion of Afghanistan – say AfghanistanIraq ought to be hot on its heels – and lessons learned . . .”

more lessons unlearnedunremembered classic American amnesia  the classic desire to rewritesummarise history manipulateeliminate facts facets lean hardlean heavy on propagating myth

our history cant be placed on oh-so-clever bumper stickers

he understood NPRs news slant was in regards to the Marine Corp – first time in onehunredthirteen years without a Senate-confirmed Commandant don shrug Alabamas Senator Tommy Tuberville is the heehaw culprit hes affectionately called – in the Senate – Coach whose skillsets to become a senator was he was a college football coach – never served in the military a real sharp cracker elected by other cracker which might have been expected from a state that ranks dismally in American Education and in regards to other societal concerns

we might not remember the date as 9/11 if the Bush and his neocon cohorts his Administrative and more personnel were held to account  investigated   prosecuted

1455,  Monday,  11  9. 23

NPR 9/11  https://www.npr.org/2023/09/10/1197055903/for-a-new-generation-of-marines-9-11-is-history?ueid=50c730cb0ac5cbd04b51d81774de5e3e&utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Sentences%209/11&utm_term=Sentences

Marines  https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/your-marine-corps/2023/07/10/the-corps-is-without-a-confirmed-top-marine-for-the-1st-time-since-1910/

Alabama  https://www.alreporter.com/2022/05/18/opinion-theres-a-reason-alabama-always-ranks-at-the-bottom/

apropos  September 11   terrorist attack

                                            Trumpvirus

last he looked was 28August 14days ago then 1,173,394 Americans had perished

todayNOW  1,174,580 Americans have died  1186 more deaths

                                                                      average of nearly 85 people a day 84.71 doesnt cut it

he wasnt going to stop 

                       the decision not to move against coronavirus when it first reared its ugly head is unforgivable it wasnt miraculously going anywhere

1234,  Monday,  11  9. 23

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/

hed concede  a wee spider

                            the concession coming from wanting to remarkSing  Itsy-Bitsy Spider

the song his wife sang to their girls

he couldnt do it justice  so didnt

   a rustcoloured wee spider he found in the unwashed cereal bowl he left beside the kitchen sink last night

he forget to eat

                 woke in the middle of the night hungry  interesting experience  unlike waking to use the bathroom or starting from a dream  a dream not a nightmare  he didnt believe in nightmares any more than he believed in evil  a dreams a dream  evil is bad  he coudnt abide its religious connotationassociation so nixed it

plain old Cheerios splash of milk easily digestible set the bowl aside the tablespoon in the sink wasnt a cereal bowl a serving bowl

           he hadnt eaten

the spider played dead as he went to pickup the bowl to wash it with the dishes he fed the cats with this morning

   O hello  wha he woud give if one day a bug replied  or a cat squirrel mouse boid hummer lizard skink vulture hawk  he didnt talk to dogs

it quit playing dead ran up a side slid down up down up down Easy friend mean you no harm down up down up he couldnt blame it

picking up the bowl he went to take it outside up down updowning the whole way through the livingroom through the screendoor onto the front porch

                                 Mebbe Ill see ya again sometime  he tipped the bowl the spider slid onto the drink rail and to his freak it didnt set a nanosecondhurled itself from the rail onto the redwood porch  threeanahaf feet  he likened it to him leaping from atop a highrise  a juicy skinbag of blood and bone   make a splash a Rorschach forsure

little voice in his head giggled

                               We can do without tha

then it said  Exoskeleton

Yah

Weighs next to nothing

Yah

It didnt plummet

No

Glad you didnt scream like a little girl

   Yah a couple times he has  voice almost disowned him    

0813,  Monday,  11  9. 23

loscil  Vapour  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-iZgWK30Yg

not his parents church

                       when they were kids  they certainly didnt stretchout as adults

although as their eldest he was fed to the wolves                    

that was before he knew better

after Holy Communion he knew

he could say now

                    Its not my church

Catholic

   a friend continued long long after he left

somehow it came up in conversation

likely because Confession felt wrong to himrubbed him the wrong way

                                                                           When was the last time you went to Confession

Oh my, forever ago.

Wha are you talkinbout  You still attend

Yes, but confessional booths were ceased.

                                           BLEW HIS MIND  Wha arya talking about

Yeah. No more confessional booths. They don’t do that anymore.

How do you get to fireup the votive candlesthree for a quarter Hail Marys Our Father Who Art in Heavens or Wherefore for Art Thous aint got no G P S

The votives are still there.

Thank god I used to sneak back behind them ando shadow figures against the wall

I remember. They were lousy.

Yahwell broke my fingers too many times  Wasnt Gumby enough or Pokey

she didnt waste her breath

No confessionals

                   Id think church woud go off its rails without Hell as a threat Heaven as a treat

It’s okay. We have Reconciliation rooms now.

   Rooms

Yes.

Lotsa people at once.

Yes.

Booths passe

Yes.

Ohman  I don know wha to say

                                   Thascrazy

I have another tidbit if you'd like.

You do

I do.

     Think you could stand having your mind blowin’ twice in a day?

   Truly

Yes truly.

Lemme buckleup he was being serious

                                        Awright  Well Ready Set Go Don say on Go Say after Go

I can do that. Let me know went you’re ready.

she was freaking him out

he cleared his throat  Awright  Lets have it    Ready  Set   Go

                                                                    Oral sex is a form of birth control so it’s not allowed.

coloured stars stars rockets stars contrails tweety birds went off in his eyes 

                                                                               he croaked Yakiddin

Nope.

1852,  Reggaefriday,  1  9. 23

1950,  Sunday,  10  9. 23

Zeppelin  Black Dog  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIiu0JI3I5g

Immigrant Song  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8OtzJtp-EM

Whew  Thawas a hot one totally fooled him

                                             thas how far his imagination stretched his reality

like a wad of bubblegum twothree Silly Puttys combined

improbable

not necessarily impossible

when he looked around

he was relieved

   one   he wasnt blindcoud see

   two   butterflies were quietly at the flowering hedge outside the windowscreen

Are you saying you . .

. . Believed

            Seeing is believing as long as its not on a screen an imagesomething ya can touch have by the throat

   By the throat

                   Thas menacing 

It is its meant to be

Why

I detest interface Prefer inyourface

Well   Whas simple

Isnt it

       Im a simple kind of guy

he was outside himself  not ephemeral ghosty vaporous  as substantial as he was belowwhich wasnt to say his tether only went up  he coud tie him-self up in knots if he wanted  he inhabited an ambientsurround environment

there was nowhere he coudnt go  

                                  when he was above him-self he was enmeshedenswarmed by screaming butterflies

they werent fearful

                    joyously screaming playground screaming

an when he laid down alongside him-self at his back  gently turned him over  coloured sea anemones were growing out of his blueeyes

                thall getya by the balls

prior to Saturday,  28  5. 23

1257,  Sunday,  10  9. 23

he had a thing for black and white Sherlock Holmes matinees

Why don’t you go out and play? his mother asked It’s beautiful.

sitting on the threadbare carpet that wouldnt be replaced for years he turned on his hip to face her  his parents didnt allow words tossed over shoulders dismissive if someoneanyone was addressed they turned to face whomever was talking to them 

                  Its Sherlock Holmes

which he believed in itself was more than a sufficient answer however he kept his incredulity to himself

Which one is this?

he was notorious for watching reruns  he didnt say outloud Mygod its on Im missing parts ITS SHERLOCK HOLMES I MIGHT BE MISSING CLUES DAMMIT   Its called Silver Blaze

I know it, a short story.

                         Published in a collection of short stories. I read it when I was a girl.

maddening but not in his voice Maybe youd like to watch it with me

Aw I’d love to, but I’ve things to do, enjoy. turning to leave You’ll have to share your thoughts with me about the clue that cinches the mystery.

it was over  Man Oh Man

                            he hoppedup turned off the television then stood stock-still listening she was somewhere in the house    the basementheard rumbling down there she better not be doing the laundry thats a chore he shared with her he crossed the front hall to the short doorway behind which were the basement steps she was  not even on the second step down MOM  WHAT ARE YOU DOING   BETTER NOT BE LAUNDRY

                                                                                                  she drove him nuts

he scrambled down the steps

surenough  no doubt  at the back of the basement she was feeding a bedsheet into the wringer  it was swung out over the concrete laundry doublesink  she hauled the stout barreled Maytag washing machine on wheels over to it

What are you doing

she turned to him  Oh hi. Finished Holmes.

                                              What does it appear I might be doing? made her laugh

Yuck it up funny girl Have your fun   We do this together

Yes, but it had to be done.

there were five kids three more arriving later

Awright whawoud you have me do

There’s laundry separated on the upstairs bathroom floor. If you would bring down the colours first. But before you go, what did you think of the clue that Sherlock solved the mystery with?

That was something

Reading it was something. I thought it was amazing.  The dog that didn’t bark.

Yes

It wasn’t what happened . .

. . No  its wha didnt happen  I got goosebumps

Goosebumps?

Yes

Well, suppose that proves it cinches it.

Proves wha

You’re actually my child. The gypsies didn’t drop you off.

1926,  Monday,  21  8. 23

1111,  Sunday,  10  9. 23

Loscil  Conductivity  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI24yKtK1TI

he telephoned 

                Awcome on, man, you don’t have to write this morning. Come over. I’ll make us a muleskinner breakfast, coffee, have a toke, go outside, gibberjabber, take a swim, we’ll chill, my treat.

Generous as always thank you I appreciate the offer but no thanks

                                                                         

Because you’re writing.

Yes

Anwhy do you write?   

Because    I can  Not 

                         Follow

You can . . Not.

Yescorrect

            Know Rachel Ingalls  I know thas a long shot

It's long and gone.   I’ve no idea.

American Expatriate Lived in England after ’65 Wrote Mrs Caliban 

                                                                       Up on your Shakespeare 

Wouldya stop.

Sorry Caliban Character in The Tempest a favourite play of mine Her Mrs Caliban is a lonely woman who finds companionship with a amphibious monster Larry  A genuinely fascinating nouvelle Very Creature of the Black Lagoon ’54 preceding her ’82 Larry an Shape of Water ‘17     

shaking his head  looked weary  Nouvelle . . Christ. Where you come up with this stuff?not my cup of tea, not interested . .

. . Thas fair

Right fair. No.  I’ve no idea.

Fine Doesnt matter Ingalls was quoted I write because it is a compulsion  A compulsive

                                                                                                   I am not

However  I can  Not   Its my routine  Like breathing  An unconsciousconscious act or consciousunconscious

I appreciate your offer  Can I take you up on things later this afternoon

Coffee. Boo.

              Yeah. Later. Hunkering down, playing with my whims in the meantime.

Cool then  Later

0838,  day-between-2-Ts,  16  8. 23

1558,  Saturday,  9.  9. 23

Creature from the Black Lagoon  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7uIsGCXojw

The Shape of Water  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFYWazblaUA