he loved learning something newlearned something new the other day

                                                                           mentee didnt like the sound of it

stood to reason

if he hadnt ever had a mentorhe did not

mentee wouldnt occur to him

fact was hed really have to dig to understand if he ever had a male role model

growing up white male entitled in a white male entitled community houses block after block neighbourhoods nuclear families public pools public recreation centers good schools   lotsa guys he knew regarded their fathers as their role model

majority of their decisions to do whaever was dependent on what they thought their father would make of their choice

he didnt care what his father or his mother thought  frankly   he didnt care what anybody thought

   Aah he didnt have to dig

never a mentor

never a mentee

   seemed mental to him if one didnt make their own way

2001,  2sday,  5  9. 23

1040,  Reggaefriday,  8  9. 23

Stick Figure  Choice is Yours  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xV-lMtisZw0

Ibid. her  Don waste your breath

                                      See the above

   How do you mean?

Say youve given her an explanation Ya don wanna be redundant Cut her off at the kneesat the pass whenever she thinks shes being clever restates reiterates reasks the samedamnquestion

                                                                                Ibid.

   Sounds familiar.

Yah its usually used in footnotes endnotes scholarly references Itll alleviate you wasting your breath An abbreviation of Latin ibidem two lettersnot much it meansreferences in the same place meant as a citation for what preceded it

Youre aces baby skyhigh over her head

I . . I don’t think that would go over well.

tipping his head How very considerate of you   Shes rude calls you stupidsays a monkey could do your job she lordsinsists shes smarter

                           A horses ass Unprofessional  Now to be sure Ive only heard your side of the equation but youre smartnobodys dummy least of all hers  Her business has been profitable off your back Shes tryin to squeeze ya for more which is her job as its your job to push back   She doesnt get anything for nothing  

Babe I wouldnt wanna match wits with you

You’re flatterin . .

. . Im not  I speak the truthHell Im witty  Ya think witty doesnt recognise witty intellect intelligence

                                                                                                         Youre nobodys idiot

Ibid.

Yah

Feels goodfun to say.

Yah

     Ibid. Ribbit

Ribbit. Ibid. Ribbit. Ribbit.

Havin some fun now

Yeah!

          But Im talkin’ with you.

Or Since youve answered her question   Give her crickets

AwJesus, you’re bad.

Not really I don like wasting timemy timeyour time She wants to go in circles let her

                                                                                           Ibid. Ribbit Crickets Ohmy 

Look at you squeezing an Oz reference in.

Ibid. Every day

                 An don forget contemporaneous notes

1153,  Thursday,  7  9. 23

1237,  Reggaefriday,  8  9. 23

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/ibid/#:~:text=Ibid.%20is%20an%20abbreviation%20of,your%20work's%20footnotes%20or%20endnotes.

ribbit  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiidibfhidE

crickets  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpGtBnVZLSk

axiomatic 

           automatically?axiomatic the quickest way to a mans heart is through his stomach

                                                                                                     erroneous

if that 9mm Glockaxiomatic were pointed at him

at his heart

   eating  it didnt migrate any closer to his stomach than his stomach emigrated to his heart

the quickest way to a womans heart

CHOCOLATE

                  though he understoodbelieved there were outliers too

one day

         he anticipated meeting one

theyd be on equal footing

   he casually wondered if hed like her despite their similarity    

1629,  day-between-2-Ts,  6  9. 23

1014, Reggaefriday,  8  9. 23

. . . to be continued

                                     as a kid he watched lotsa cliffhangers

he was so freakin eager

to jumpin in   hypnopompic

to crawlin out   hypnogogic

   maybeperhaps if he wrote it larger   Naah

he took it to bed

it didnt resist

                 which could also have meant it had no intentions of participating

dead fish

dead weight

   dead

        using it to its advantage

what advantage was that 

to teach him patience

he was already a patient motherfucker

surgeries

painFull rehabs

Don get through tha ifya aint patient

   rilucidous  backtrack   

riludicous   backtrack  

ridiculous 

          jampacked jellypacked tampedstuffed

like

     sometimes it takes work  commitment  to make a woman cum

maybe it was like a woman

Entirely plausible shehe heshe

Exactly 

            I am going to be patiently committed

                                                             to be continued . . .

0750,  Reggaefriday,  8  9. 23

I Feel the Earth Move  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6913KnbMpHM  Carole King

he felt it slip as he wrotecognated  recognised 

                                                      ridiculous

earlier hed written

                     R I – D I C U L – O U S

                          L U D I C

now heading down a rabbithole gopherhole  someotherhole or another 

            he realised  L U C I Dwhich he was

   earlier he affixed riludicous as a descriptor

he had no choice 

now also rilucidous

                      jampacked jellypacked tamped

might suppose

it was a good thing he liked holes

exploring them

filling them

   he was going to take this one to bed tonight ansee going in hypnopompic an coming out in the morning hypnagogic whad he see

he expectedsuspected something would come of it

                                                                          . . . to be continued

1059,  Thursday,  7  9. 23

psychedelics  psychotropics cause ?  hypersynchrony

                                                         canonical view any accepted rule principle law criterionOHJOY by which something is judged  made him bonkers when someone fingeredplayed with canon  got it all wet an slipperyhard to grasp and handed it to him   canonical view holds that seizures result may result  fuckin comediccanonicals  when an imbalance between excitation and inhibition produces runaway excitation NOThowever  if inhibition is negatedplucked from the equation  hence hypersynchrony

                                   synchrony  within this context  is loosely why does loosely even exhibit when discussing neuroscience  his high schoolcollege sciences wouldnt abide loosely  imagine adverbdropping that into a labLABORIOUSLY DETAILED report   is loosely defined as large numbers of neurons firing action potentials IN UNISON! potentially   in unison

         neuronic lions and tigers and bears OHmy

hed welcome the zoo and then some

again

      as he wrote 

if someone is inhibited then they shouldnt take psychedelics  not an imbalance  unbalancedperhaps

if lacking mental agility

                        then No psychedelics for you!

he dug hypnopompic/hypnagogic (entering/exiting sleep) hypersynchrony

                                                                             a big fan  although he was a lucid dreamer

1546,  day-between-2-Ts,  6  9. 23

1038,  Thursday,  7  9. 23

Soup Nazi  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jSTiKHOFEI

if/then  https://www.enago.com/academy/ifthen-using-conditional-sentences-in-academic-writing/ 

she broke his heart

he admits it

time an again

              ravagingache its murmur echo went out spread  like oil on water went down up a myriad of directions  spread like fine aerosol  atomised  

                                   she broke his heart she broke his heart she broke his heart

they were heartbroken for him

wondered how to console him

he heard he always heard them

                                 could feel them  bubbles within

he put his hand over his heart pressed

he could feel fractures mismatchededges facets plateshe could feel the heat of its molten interior somehow  contained  coalesced

he put his hand over his heart to console them

                                                 There there

he was fortunate to get that out

there really wasnt anything he could say

he remembered when his grandfather diedhis fathers father his grandmotherhis mothers mother held him rocked him

There there

she said nothing more

she broke his heart

all of Him suffered

0707,  day-between-2-Ts,  6  9. 23

1129,  day-between-2-Ts

Israel Kamakawiwo’ole  Somewhere Over the Rainbow & What a Wonderful World  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fahr069-fzE

You’re ridiculous!

hed taken her around the bendcouldnt keep he didnt stop  lost her

                                                                       an whenever he lost or was losing her she refused to crySTOP

so he didnt

ridiculous was her insult

he thought as often as he lost her her insult would have improved

he gifted her a thesaurus

                          when he told her he was getting her one she momentarily looked confused

Not a dinosaur Unless a Synonym was  A Synonymsaurus

                                                                Not ridiculous   The terms ludic 

he printed on a piece of paper  R I – D I C U L – O U S

                                      L U D I C

Some funhuh 

              You were in the neighbourhood

now she was simmering

as he knew she would

he used a word and hadnt offered its definition

                                                   they usually afforded the other that

she could crySTOP

not be lost

was her choice

You know what ludic isright

I don’t.

Why didnt yasay

I was waiting for you to say you usually do.

Aw  Ya didnt give me the impression you didnt know Did I blink when you did

                                                                                       Ludic

A fine term Adjective descriptor

                                     Showing spontaneous undirected playfulness

The ludic behaviour of kittens  An me

Playful?  Time’s there’s nothing playful about you.

Aw STOP   Yare teasin me 

                             Im off the charts playful 

Im riludicous

               Sounds like a Roman gladiator

You know wha tha is

I do I know.

Thanks he noddedalmost mockingly teasingly  Playfully Just wanted to be sure I hadnt blinked in the meanwhile

   maybe if he bedded her

0939,  Saturday,  28  5. 23

1256,  day-between-2-Ts,  6  9. 23

The Who  You Better You Bet  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCfO9zClQ8I

he didnt listen close enough then

had he

he might have been a bigger fan

as it was

Peter Gabriel leaving Genesis leaving the door open for Phil Collins to emerge excited him Bout time he thought if he remembered correctly

                       if he was a betting man hed bet he did

Sledgehammer

the lyrics that would have incited him

he and his girlfriend were discussing the beauty of vaginashe called a woman who was scorningbitching her a cunt  ha! she’s too good for a cunt. a cunt is beautiful in my humble opinion.

he enthusiastically agreed a cunt is Beautiful

                                                but comon baby I called her a scummy cunt  he could have been more descriptive he apologised soured warm whippedcream with a wormy cherry on top  but he rather not

you just did.

I said I could have said but I rather not

   they suspended animation

                                      then howled in unison

often they howled in unison

Sex ran a hard first touching out their ardent pleasure of laughing at many many things together

but he digressed

Sledgehammer

Show me ‘round your fruit cage

‘Cause I will be your honey bee

Open up your fruit cage

Where the fruit can be sweet as can be

he would have been a huge fan

not occasionally curious

2240,  2sday,  5  9. 23

1044,  day-between-2-Ts,  6  9. 23

Peter Gabriel  Sledgehammer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJWJE0x7T4Q

Phil Collins  In the Air Tonight  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkADj0TPrJA

Epiphanies

               What about you

she pursed her lips he almost came across the stool to kiss her they looked like beggin fruit

but they had only just been introduced

                                        she might think him forward

She may like forward 

Yawanna shaddup

Shoud I 

        Ive seen you gamble before

Not in the first ten minutes

Feels longer  Feels like youve known her longer

It does

        Doesnt it

Its okay we agree

                    Epiphanys perfect

You know where this is going

We talk around the water cooler

Its not been ten minutes

No  But your epiphanys not much older 

                                              We got your back

I appreciate everyones support

Just another reason why we signed on

she thought with her lips pursed

Youre killing me

   Im being thoughtful.  Its not often . . not often for me rather . I don’t know about you . however it hasn’t been my experience to be tendered a . . . such a . considerable . . question.

Inside ten minutes

Ten minutes?

                It feels longer.

Thas wha Iwe thought too

she finally blinked though nothe was sure at his we

                                                         Are you asking me or are you wanting to share an epiphany?

You have themthought so

Yes.   I do.

Is it ten minutes yet

I think you’ll have broken the record if you didn’t say for . . . until the next time we met.

Id like to meet again too

Are you asking me out?

I thought you just did

                       I don stand on traditions or rules  each is meant to be broken

Id be thrilled to go out with youthank you

he thought she couldnt quit blinking

                                     they really came on hard

Ah . . ah I . . . yes.

Where woud we gowhere were you thinking

when her mouth opened she quit blinking

                                           now the trick was keeping her mouth open

I was thinking about epiphanies not . . . where . . or . dating you.

No matter Im happy you askedgives me something to really look forward to

   I don’t know how that happenedhow’d that happen?

You  Me  Us   Them

Them?

Feelings

          Theyre more than feelings   Whoa oh ooh feelings

That’s a song.

It is

Epiphanies

Care to share

              An because weve just met you woudnt know but it falls to mewill always falls to me to say first so you have a keen understanding where Im coming fromwha my feelings are I dislike people who wannaplay gotcha or ambush

   It falls to you?

Yes  No surprises 

                   Transparency  Cross your arms Im undressing you 

she threw her arms Oh my God! across chest

Too late

        My my my my my 

You’re nuts.

Crazy

      Its too soon to talk about my nuts   Unless you insist

No.

Epiphany

           It occurred just before I turned around when Ryan hailed me to introduce us I love to touch I love to massage to caress  Although Im not keen on being touched

What made you think that?

If I liked being touched likely  I woud have had a massage by now

You haven’t ever had a massage?

No Ive no interest in having one but Im all over giving them

   I like massages.

Id love to massage you

                         he cleared his throatfist to his mouth     An epiphany

Ya gotta be kiddin’. You derailed my whole train of thought. 

                                                                  Give me some time?

Yabetcha he lookedup at the clock above the bar Weve known each other all of not twenty minutes

1225,  2sday,  5  9. 23

2144,  2sday

Morris Albert  Feelings  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIspfWvkgzg

   polite companies those that reeked politenessfor those he was grateful he wasnt invitedhe wasnt a good fit

those which he didnt hear of   were wise decisions by their hosts and hostesses

                                                                                      wiser than they knew

and when inevitably one slipped a party a gathering was heldtheir expressions so pained 

                                                                                              Nono alleviating their concern

I know you know it wasnt smart to invite me

   he had a penchant for disrupting polite company

like shell on hardboiled eggs

                              that hed rap crack roll then slowly  deliberately  deliciously pickoff in small bits he did his damnedest to avoid those pieces suspects that might clingtogetherunfurl per the connecting membranefilm between the shell and egg

they looked like they wanted to pick a fight

                                             but

they didnt want to muss themselves

                                        or mar

their fine clothes

often the men let their women fight their battles

although he was an equal-opportunity offender 

                                               women werent off the menu

although

          rare he found a worthy opponent

SHRILL mostly 

               momentarilyhefeltbad for the pair

he shouldnt say opponentit wasnt like he was looking for a fight

usually it was brought to him

an inane comment

   inane in the air tasted like shit in his mouth on his tongue 

                                                               he wasnt going to have that

host hostesses wore that effete expression Can’t you just let it go?

NO

   inanity needs to be nipped in the budimmediately long ago he accepted the what-some-might-consider unsavory assignment  of being an abrupt budnipper interrupter of coddled status quo

statuses did not appeal to him

                                 therefore

he was a natural

naturally contrary

an eristic

          his attemptassist to provide a heuristic experience for whoevers toes he stepped on whomever he interrupted

no inanity on his watch

1000,  Saturday,  2  9. 23

1111,  2sday,  5  9. 23

Billy Joel  You May Be Right  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilsv0C1-aBw

Steve Roach  The Other Side  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGOPaEOX4sU

tingly  ticklish    thingification

                                       when he read it   wait for it     he wondered if that was a thing

it is

it is not a thing in the New Oxford American Dictionary, Second Edition, 2005        

looking for it he did find thiopental a drug  used as a general anesthetic and hypnotic (reputedly) a truth serum

thi-open-tal

thiopental is a thing 

   2005 was eighteen years ago a lot can happen

                                                             a girl raped denied an abortion forcibly made to birth leaves the baby at a fire station  

Googled thingification

                       in a roundabout way he did find itfinding also verdinglichung  literally thingification “making into a thing” from Marxist philosophy the conversion of a subject into an object as when a worker becomes a commodity commodified commodeified he was riffin

                                                           woud love to have the letters to fill it in on a Scrabble board an blow his competitors mind 

closing his eyes ran with thing

                                thingies     heard of Anthropocene

lets not doff our capscurtsey yet again admire ourselves in bright shiny mirrors of self  our lackluster dismal inability to not understandtruly stand under our place on the planet

were full of shit

philosopher Glenn Albrecht his book Earth Emotions

                                                        he suggests replacing Anthropocene with Symbiocene hed second it but likelymore likely multiplethousandthing it an epoch characterised in terms of social organisation “by human intelligence lets not get wayway ahead of ourselvespat ourselves on the back that replicates the symbiotic and mutually reinforcing life-reproducing forms and processes found in living systems . . . such as the wood wide web.”

there is that

   beats the pants off thingification

1132,  Sunday,  3  9. 23

1237,  Monday – Labour Day,  4  9. 23

https://www.e-flux.com/journal/15/61296/art-and-thingness-part-two-thingification/