Ever played a Frisbee

Ever played. he scratched his head behind his ear 

                                                         Queer way to say.

Recently

Played with a Frisbee, recently, yeah.

Whadid it sound like

   Sound? 

           A game of catchtossing it back and forth, what sound?

Playing it

           For the hell of it I did  I caught one just before it struck me in the ear I heard something Hearing it made me curious I set it on my turntablespun it I got zilch at 33RPMs something at 45nothing at 78 

                                                                                                 I have to admit I coudnt make it out though there was something thereblew my mind I wish I knew a sound tech thacoud manipulate the speed  Id guess hearing it theyd shit 

Guaranteed

he fixed him with his eyesknew him since they were kids he wasnt fuckin with him 

Lemme get this straight. 

                          You played a Frisbee on a turntable. 

Yah

     My old Frisbee from when we were kids I keep it a pal to Clincher  Ive had it since Illinois then Miami Montana Minnesota Cali

Im tempted to buy a new one an spin it

Are you pulling my leg? 

No 

   Gotta tellya  It reminds me of Voyager 1977  The twelveinch gold-plated copper disc that Earthling sounds an images were imprinted on

You’re messin' with . .

. . Im not  Its the coolest fuckin thing 

                                        I cant help but wonder if I got an oddball or if every one pressedcreated when we were kids had audio  WHAM-O So fuckin Fifties WHAM-O Jell-O Play-Doh Rinso YooHoo Brillo Fritos  Silicone tits

Tits? 

      Out over your skis a bit man.

No Either ya got em or ya don 

                                  Ever fondle fake tits 

No.

A friend had implants She let me feel 

                                         She slapped me because I wasnt impressed

Sorry to hear that.

Yah Ended our friendship  Tits up 

                                      Obviously was a superficial relationship  I was sorry to understand tha

1220,  2sday,  18  7. 23

1814,  Thursday,  20  7. 23

they were toasty 

Some nice shit man Thank you

Yeah, really, really, really nice. 

                                     when he got high he became moronicleaned heavily on epizeuxis palilogic repeated himself 

rather  not unlike a badly scratched record

You’re welcome guys, when I came upon it I knew I had to hook youse up, make the ride down.

Yah thanks 

            How long you been in Oakland

Oakland he liked to think of himself as a rolling stone  Lemme think . . . . been . . four four . no . five years.

It’s been that long? That’s long, man, that's a long time.

Yeah.

Happy you knocked the cobwebs out of your ass an came down

the two bayed couple of hound dogs

   Its not really funny

No?  How’s that?

Yeah yeah, how's that?

Yeah hows tha Ill knock you into next week 

                                              If not for me putting the spurs to you yawoudnt have gone up all these years

You wouldn’t have visited?

Man, things, things, I got things to do. 

                                        He’s the social one.

Im not

        I happen to believe wed like to keep a relationship If not me certainly not you clowns 

Not me no.

             You think though, you’re the thinker. 

No no no . .

. . Yah no no Nanette 

                        You guys realise since high school graduation we you two particularly are absorbers.

I know I don’t know what you mean.

Yeah. Absorbers. Absorb.  What are we absorbing?

Like sponges Time 

                     Have you realised how long its been since we graduated high school

I graduated college.

Me too.

I didnt 

       You guys avoided Nam  Im pulling on our common string  High school

Alright. But that doesn’t explain absorbers.

He’s right. 

He interrupted

He’s right, you did interrupt him . .

. . Anya aint doin a shabby job of it either

Oh.

   Now 

          Realising how many years youve been out of school  I sure fuckin hope ya havent taken them for granted  It occurred to me Class of ’23  they might suckup time too Then looking back   Where did it go

Where   

         Tha casually we can say fortyfifty years ago    Ive a lot of people who didnt make fifty 

Jesus man. You’re a bummer.

   Nah Im professing mindfulness

                                       Life can leave you in the dust ifya take Times headfake Watch its bellybutton

 

1230,  2sday,  18  7. 23

1235,  Thursday,  20  7. 23

her voice sounded like a rasp dragged over a metal pipeKahrist 

                                                                         My my my my my to himself 

if she was a he he would have laid into him

Though comon To be fair it seems a play for attention 

Yah chaffed him 

                 Then go elsewhere an seek it please 

he disliked it when it seemed it Jeez three its in five wordstha irritated him she irritated him  it seemed it might be one of those of days threatening to go off the rails

En garde he said in a comic heavy French accent seeking relief

 

he turned his head to look at them

they looked uncomfortable  bemusedconfused

En garde  

Yah Whastha 

A warning 

            On guard

still bewildered   

Used in swordplay Signifies to the principals to prepare to fight

                                                                      Assume the position

Aah Why didntya just say assume the position

it was definitely sliding towards being one of those days 

                                                              Yagonnabe a fussbutt too

their laugh sounded like a bark 

                                  A fussbut . .

. . Yah Exactly exactly like her 

                                 Pull the stick out of your ass

She wasnt tha bad

When someone inserts themselves into a situationwas none of her business  Anthen if she meant it why didnt she whispering

It was in the library

I was at the front desk she wandered up saw her coming on a beeline 

                                                                           Shaddup woudya  Please

You didnt say

No I didnt 

           If I had . .

. . She triggered you . .

. . Rude has tha effect on me

Didnt think you were thinskinned

Careful 

         Yare gettin on my nerves

   Touchy

Thaswha happens when rude appears I have little patience on occasion 

                                                                              This being one 

Deepseated

Yah

From where 

Growingup Sufferin tha onerous a child ought to be seen not heard onerous respect your elders Its a twoway street 

Havin to explain likely you were latelater to the game

Late to roost

he only recently discovered that was their Mariachi nomenclature  Roost A little demeaning   A perch

Obviously 

Whatever happened to whispering in the library? 

When Im seeking a solution to benefit others . .

. . An yourself

   Yes Benefit me not wasting my time As I was saying When Im seeking to help otherspossibly her anwhen we began our conversation she was nowhere to be seen 

                                                        She walked into the situation Chipped in two cents

Shaddup

Damnright 

leaving the library up a couple of blocks crossing the street with the lightthe pedestrian light a driver making a right kept creepingup on him in an electric vehicle  he caught it out of his periphery slowing he looked through the windshield emphatically they gestured with their hand Move it move it along would you sneering 

                                                                                          no sooner than the vehicle could clear him it accelerated at his heels the driver had to miss the ROAR of the engine  they passed like a silent fart

across the street on the corner he waited for another pedestrian light to cross traffic  

cars made lefts in front of him on an arrow

yellowlight

the pixelated Walker appeared

                                as he watched for it it continuously occurred to him tha had the Powers Tha Be been sharper they would have reached out to might have only had to paid Crumbs to Robert Crumb the artist to use his Keep On Truckin’ caricature the BIG STRIDIN SOLE singlefootedly creating more pedestrians SAVING THE PLANET  he thought Crumb would have been cool his Keep On Truckin’ coast to coast

as he was nearly across the streetcrossing the righthand turn laneeyes right he watched some clown drive up over the curbtwo tires on the sidewalk two on the street to get around the car ahead of it just behind where the righthand turn lane began

Kahrist        

could help himself the car dropped off the curb into the lane he pirouettedround to walk backwards to witness the calamity he saw coming that Yahoo missed

                                              the car gas engine sped to the light only to have to stop as a large group of teenagers who had congregatedwaited on the light were now strungloosely across the street

it braked  its red taillights ferociously glaring 

he could make out the drivers annoyancethe twitching irritation  hand gesturing 

the car they wentround on the curb passed them

                                                    several cars that had been behind them passed

it certainly made it worth his while to walk backwards up the street

Feel better

   Yaknow Thank you for asking

                                     My irritationby that single action has almost been effaced All I need now is to find a penny on the ground to set me free

Just a penny

Just a penny

1245,  2sday,  18  7. 23

1030,  Thursday,  20  7. 23

above the bed he hung a yellowed sketch his mother made of him when he was a boy

she drew a man a strange man whose eyes were turned aside in the way a big cats eyes would look as it crouched above its kill a handsome man in whose face lurked a melancholy silence a silence tempered with humour and intelligence which shone in the strong angle of his jaw robust furrows around his mouth

he didnt recognise himself

his mother told him that when he became a man he would see that she was right 

looking at it reminded him of how vulnerable he felt as she sketched him and overwhelmed him imagining that this likeness had appeared to her twenty years earlier

the paper she sketched him on came from a large bound album she recorded family recipes in she wrote in Polish and her personality was apparent in her lines and letters the sensitive drawings that crowded its margins 

                                                                                                            she penciled and colouredin flowers exotic and fantastic birds animals strange fruit dramatic eyes disembodied hands mouths poised naked body parts that seemed alive onto themselves

he loved her drawings recognised themwho they were but the words she wrote made him uneasy they were as queer as those in her Latin Bible that lay on her nightstand

neither the Bible or album made any sense

                                              yet every evening she sat in her rocking chair deliberately paging through themreading them under her breath  made strange sounds mysterious sounds incantations and when she stopped and laid them on the side table her cheeks were flush  her countenance peaceful 

he was horrified when she abruptly tore a page from the album and asked him to sit so she could sketch him 

he almost ran               

she asked again 

                  Please.  it seemed to mean a great deal to her

they were alone

he sat on the porcelain drainboard beside the kitchen sink

the windows above it were open  he could smell the hot metal of the screensthe beginnings of rust on the breath of the wind that came up he smelled warm apples pears the turnedearth in the garden mulched with leaves grass cuttings

the late afternoon sun washed across his back

he forgot his fear

his mother sat across the kitchen table from him and crushed her first attempts into tight little balls 

                                                                                                         absently strewed them across the table

then finally pleased with what was revealing itself she drew easily and talked to him

he didnt remember what she talked about

he didnt listenhe was caughtup in a thing that seemed to pierce him body and soul a pride arousing himswelling in him it sucking his Adamsapple deep into his throat 

                                                 she was capturing on paper from an album she reveredthat she spent so much time with  committing the delicacies of her life 

when she finished the sky and the kitchen were darkening

she told him to hop down from the sink look at the sketch

she turned it around slipped it to his side of the table then leaned back in her chair exhausted

gingerly he picked it updidnt want to appear too anxious

after looking for a moment he said Mother It doesnt look like me

with effort she lifted herself from the chair and came around behind him

crossing her arms over his she hugged himkissed the top of his head I can see you very plainly, Joe.

resting her cheek on his head she began to weep 

she stroked his arms

                       This is yours. I drew it for you. pausing she composed herself May I hold it for you?

she pressed her lips to his hair smelling him as she did the first time just after he was born she whispered  You can have it when I no longer need it.

14 February 1990

1146,  day-between-2-Ts,  19  7. 23

Doris Day  Que Sera, Sera.  (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSKf4bpXthY

they had sex on a blanket under a yellow sun 

often 

        the browned grass beneath them moaned

Sex? We make love. 

                       she wanted to be taken in love 

if thaswha she wanted he was fine

though he did not tell her he loved her 

he refused to be dishonest 

evenif it cost 

                tha she wouldnt have him

to her love was more alluring than pleasure

Comon Kate  For real 

                        she was a pleasure to bring to orgasm  he hadnt met another woman who writhed like her

so frantic so lost

she almost made him cry when she came 

it was like losing his virginity again                                   

   she made him wish wish  wish 

                                      he hadnt taken hers

he wished he was youngerwished they had meshed as womanchild manchild

Kate I woud have loved if we took each other virginity fumbled it innocently 

                                                                                 he solemnly did

she giggled

             You’re silly. 

she turned him onto his back legswidedrawn she mounted him  touchedbunchedclutched her breasts thumbed rolled her nipples and sighing she touched herself put her fingers in his mouth 

he arched to meet her thrusts

 

                                                that age mattered melted

February 1990

1023,  day-between-2-Ts,  19  7. 23

The Dramatics  Get Up and Get Down  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZfMpbcI1NQ

Big Mama Thornton  Hound Dog  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pam1eUkWfFM

Michael Kiwanuda  Rule the World  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPPy1yEduCM\

 

    I might say 

                 I was frightened by those dreams

but more accurately

 I was concerned 

                  concerned   because they were only dreams

 

daydreams came with choice excuses that I was not responsible or accountable for

so I adopted the attitude to simply enjoy dreams 

I hadnt met anyone imprisoned for them                                             

                                              or had I 

CG Jung 

          In dreams we put on the likeness of that more universal, truer, more eternal man who dwells in the darkness of primordial light . . .

February 1990

0952,  day-between-2-Ts,  19  7. 23

Michael Kiwanuka  Love and Hate  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMZ4QL0orw0

they laughedtoo hard made themselves delirious 

                                                    broke a deep kisspanting for breath

she nuzzled his necknibbled his earlobe softly

                                                gigglingsoftly whispered Talk dirty to me.

he teasedtweaked her nipple

Awbaby. she grasped him

Awwfaa 

            Endo plasmic wreckedtickled ulum 

Membrane  receptor

Buttermilk warm cells cellmembranes inside  out   Nucleolus 

                                                                  tweaked her other nipple tad harder 

Oooh. through clenched teeth

Nucleus mew kisses DnahAided dribbles oozes  on my thigh

Mitochondria pants 

                      Lovingly cunningly conning you out of your panties   Im hard

My turn. she groanedpinched the head of his cock 

Whaaa 

           laughing cummenced again

0741,  2sday, 18  7. 23

1510, 2sday

Oumou Sangare  Bena Bena (Us by Us)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4cNjK9WF2M

Monkey jug it rolls off the tongue 

                                       Try it

Really? A bit too early in the morning, don’t you think babe?

                                                                 Where did it come from?

I was reading notes I made in ‘90 last night from a book on surrealism Africans arrived in South Carolina 1858 off the slaver Wanderer

And it appearedyou recalled it . first thing this morning.

It did The people used wood ash sand cinder to create a distinct a rare alkaline glaze Applied to kaolin clay its color ranges from tan to olive to deep dark brown  Appears they made the jugs to look like themselves 

                                                                                                       May have humoured whitey  thinking their slaves children imbeciles 

Fascinatinghuh

It is . . although it doesn’t take much to fascinate you.

Present company excluded you fascinate me endlessly

Oh brother . . you really want me to say it.

Yes  Please

   The things I do to please you . .

. . Endlessly

                 Endlessly

   Monkey jug.

                      Everything you hoped?

Was it good for you too

she laughedtossed her headdidnt cover her mouthsported her awesome dimples

The slaves used them in the field as water jugs They were called monkey jug a slang for thirst  That according to the Oxford English Dictionary cited in 1834  To suck the monkey meant to drink straight from the bottle

Right up your alley.

Yah Hence why it probably hunground waitin on my forty winks waitin for me to wake

she shook her head the way a wind movesblows tree boughes and its happyleaves

                                                                                        Babe, the way your mind works.

Be grateful I spared you You know what they say in Japan

In Japan? We’re in Japan now?

Hard to hit a moving target

You’re that.

No. What do they say in Japan.

If you don sleep someone else will get all your dreams 

                                                          An Im a stingy motherfucker

laughing gaily again

                      I’m okay you keep yours, keep them to yourself until I wake. Then, cup of coffee in hand, I’m happy to hear.

0655,  2sday,  18  7. 23

1141,  2sday

Olafur Arnalds/Alice Sara Ott  Verses  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKfb71M-WwQ

Christ

sleeping with three pillows was like sleeping with two women 

                                                                xhausting trying to pleasure them without favor

providing equal attention 

like raising children

tossedanturned all night long 

                                    Me

No Me

                   Me 

My turn  Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine MineMineMine   MINEMINE 

                                                                                    he spread himself thin

greedybitches

                if there was a modicum of appreciationhe missed it   kept them cumming all night

DUH

       beauty of being inanimate or a woman

  

0655,  2sday,  18  7. 23

1008, 2sday

Marianne Faithfull  Why D’Ya Do It?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYmK3PYQnGg 

Bobby Vinton  I Love How You Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJM4h8pHMWU

critical to get business out of the way first

Business

          then Pleasure anthis was shit  gave him zerozippleasure  

he spat Thas better  Republican AGs

attacking Gender-Affirming care

attacking Reproductive FreedomRIGHTS attacking women who seek Out-of-State abortions

he hoped the AGs might choked on their breakfast Rice Krispies the POP! going off in their head aneurysm or maybe it already had  hence their braindead drivel 

                                             briskly waving their banner  CRUELTY IS THE POINT

19 states 

Alabama 

Alaska 

Arkansas

Georgia

Idaho

Indiana

Kentucky

Louisiana

Mississippi

Montana

Nebraska

North Dakota

Ohio

South Carolina

South Dakota

Tennessee

Texas

Utah

       did voters really vote for this horseshit 

SHAME

2055,  Moanday,  17  7. 23

0937, 2sday,  18  7. 23

WORD  Rachel Maddow  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRzz6lYStgo 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB9RZ0mzAn8

https://www.npr.org/2021/06/27/1010760890/adam-serwer-on-new-book-the-cruelty-is-the-point-in-trump-america

Bobby Vinton  I Love How You Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJM4h8pHMWU