he took pen paper clipboard to bed 

                                      was startledkicked out of his dreaming by its contentcharacters  overriding his lucid attempts to avertdivert steer subjects subject matter 

                                                            they were taking him for a ride

Give it a shot letssee whaya got

properly busted him on the jaw 

                                  he staggered backwards to the ropesguided him to a corner head coveredup between his fist elbowstucked protecting his ribs kidneys out of harms way he withstood the barrageTHE BELL took its sweet fuckin time 

   he didnt know where the fuck he was 

his corner holleredHERE HERE  he went  ammonia capsules righted himeyes popped

Im here Im here 

Youre here

I am Im back

                he figured they held rolls of pennies makes a difference when a fist doesnt compress

cutman worked feverously packed styptic into splits  taut skin overlaying bone 

                                                                                        Whadidyasay

What you said. 

I didnt

You telling me I didnt hear I heard.

guy fluttered like a moth at a lightbulb in the nightconsciously halflistened other half sometimes more off elsewhere 

You heard wrong 

Yeah. What did you say?

I said clipboard

                 Im sleeping with my clipboard

   I saw who you took home last night.

I dropped her off she needed a ride 

She wanted to ride you.

Wasnt in the cards

Would have been in mine.

he chided himhad long chided him since he proved to be a chronicfailed pusshound 

                                                                                       Lubricants in the bathroom 

Fuck you. chick baited him  there never was any lubricant in the bathroom 

                                                                          Shes definitely a clitbroad. 

Thamakes no sense

Half the time you make no sense, I ran with what you called her.

Ifya had any imagination Idve said How imaginative 

                                                           Clipboard 

Sleeping with a clipboard makes no sense.

Clipboard clipboard clipboard 

                               Epizeuxis  Havent said tha in awhile   CLIP  BOARD  Wrap your skullround tha  Please

600preferred,  day-between-2-Ts,  31  5. 23

1612,  reggaefriday, 16  6. 23

Aerosmith  Dream On  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89dGC8de0CA

Train Kept a Rollin’  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EvGn22Mplg

episodic dreamsmore than a little miffed tendered their resignations

he refused to accept them NO Comon  thinkbout it stick around its ebb an flow ebb an flow nothing more

they were upset with the recent advent of thematic cinematic dreams edgingelbowing their way in riding roughshod over their previews like shade thrown on poems short stories by epics by novels

You do lucid dreaming  You can inhibitstop em cold

   Yes But have you been paying attentionseen their trailers   Enticing

Blatantly seductive 

                     Youve been seduced 

When Ive wanted to be

                       Ive not to the best of my recollection  you have insight   neither to the best of my memory been sweptaway No one is influenced without wanting to be

Enticement isnt seduction 

Youve seen the trailers

Yes

And

They are welldone wellproduced

he smirked  Well 

                 when he saw their expressions  humourless   Youll excuse me I apologise

they accepted his apology

An old saying adage I know yare familiar  Whagoes round comes round Like fashion give it some time an whawas the rage the passion cools is sublimated  suppressed  then before you know it it reemerges  refreshed 

It never really went away

hips cockedshoulders setarms crossed chests  You dreamt a saga of devouring fresh shucked oyster all night

I did 

       Anwhy

they turnedlooked at one another shrugged collective

I don accept tha 

                    Hint   I believe a majority of you knowwere putoff     Anyone

sassy one stepped forward  I know

Iknowyaknow

                 Woudya inform your cohort 

Shes a whore 

Enough anger tinging his speech   Proper respect or Ill knock heads off  Shes a woman   Sometimes   Thasthe beauty of your shehe-hesheness Yah  

   Please continue

Thank you  she poutedtugged her lower lippunctuated her beautiful smile with deepdeepdeep dimples  cleared her throat demurely 

                  Bozo  Big Gulp 

YES  yes

            Stickround  Ya know how much I dig episodescliffhangers  breastfed on them  Flashhe smiled at her quicklyshed follow Gordon

2002,  Thursday,  15  6. 23

1150,  Reggaefriday,  16  6. 23

Aretha Franklin  Natural Woman  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cF0tf35Mbo 

   does a bear shit in the woods

does a bar 

thought his sister was being raped  rushed into the woods shot her assailantWhat did you do whadid ya do?

Do?   I saved you. I came arunnin’. I heard your screams. I . .

. . Youanidiot.  I werent screamin’ for my life, was screamin’ felt so damn good. 

                                                                                       Ya better bury ‘im. 

he did 

        carved into a nearby tree  D. Boone CillED A BAr 

he shit wherever he had to 

                             shat in woods jungles in rank twolane highway gas stations where he stood on the porcelain squatdeeply under him surly stinking stews  did as he learned in Nam  never came across a Vietnamese who bitchedbout hemorrhoids  there had to be something to it

made sensewas good practise 

                                he recommended it to new bars who arrived incountry not knowing their risk  war wasnt going well  officers fragged  but they were youngagile  Boots on the toilet sir squat thaway least got a chance  You can hurl yourself back up an over the partition  put it between you an the blast 

                                                                                 Anif I were you ya find out who Shoot em

Write a letter home  Lie

he shat in bluecoloured honey huts  infested with black widows  once a rattler that didnt strikeonly wanted out  shat in creakin old wood outhouses 

                                 whenhe had to go hehad to go 

seems itd go for women too

                              although he understoodlearned that a majority didnt much care tohis girls didnt care to when they were little  held them by their thighs above the rim above the warm miasma  they steadied themselvesheld two heapinhandfuls of his hair  reason why he wore it longer

in their teens their disdainresentment for them grew taller than they were  No way, I’m holding it. You find a restaurant real quick.

Theres a gas sta . .

. . Restaurant.

Jesus

years later they confided it was more than needing a toilet  it had been their time of the month

Why didntya just say

It’s embarrassing.

The hell its natural

Not really Dad, not really.

Idve thought you bein my kids youd have a good healthy attitude about it

Good healthy?

Yah 

       Ohshit  Tell me ya didnt let it stop you from making love 

What?

Ohmygawd  I ought have tests done yamay not be mine  For tha matter your mothers  It made for slickslippery fun Only drag was cleaningup afterwards the bedding

Oh my God Dad. 

No you don get to awmygawd meNope  No way

That’s unsanitar . . 

. . Christ its only blood  I eat my steaks blackanblue   Ate my women too 

                                                                               Auditioned to be Bozo the Clown 

I know on one hand    Huh  Though Id have to include myself to make a majority  whod want a straw to dip into an sip the Big Gulp

thatbout flipped em

after midnight during a hot bath,  Thursday,  15  6. 23

1134, Thursday

Wharya goin boy

I was going to bed 

No yaint 

         Yer gonna get this down

its finger were cut off 

                       didnt have a choice 

Yaready

I am ready

Quit sounin like a whiney bitch

he was biding his time

he was young

hed grow bigger

itd grow older

thered be a day of reckonin an hed be as ruthless as it pursued him

   karmas a bitch

after midnight,  Thursday,  15  6. 23

Eric Clapton  After Midnight  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkWccgl-9vs

when he caught a whiff a hint started thinkin Ya got the world by the balls  he understoodNah false flags line of bullshit he didnt play for par remained a step behind  not behind the 8-ball  a retarded lousy step behind  because he lagged on purpose   because he didnt buy in

to be fair he was tempted  it seemed liberating  its scent strident  like a chlorinated indoor pool an ammonia capsule broke under his snout  like a hot cedarlined dry sauna

he didnt have to pinch himself

he knew the bit 

lovely like dreaming

   Ground Control to Major Tom

when its too good to be true

it was too good to be true 

he stepped asidebacked out of the way

bowed gracefully swept his arm like a gentlemans valet 

                                                           No sir  Please  After you sir

submissive

in his book it was A-Okay to be submissive to save his skin

those werent sharkskin suits hanging in Temptations closet

   Maybe next time, Joe.

I don think so Itll be a cold day in Hell 

                                          However thank you for stopping Im sure well play again            

Yes. Again.   Maybe one day Ill catch you offguard, in a weak moment.

Hope springs eternal   Alexander Pope  Essay on Man

Yeess. 

Sound like a serpent

An unfortunate lisp. I was born a harelip.

Yah Whoever corrected it did a lousy jobbut be tha as it may  we can recall how it begins front an center

Yes.  Well most are put offaren’t interested. The Essay of Man?  I tell them it’s Alexander Pope. Like I could give a fuck.

   Know then thyself

Yes yes.  it sighed a snake hiss 

                                  Presume not God to scan . . the proper study of mankind is man.

2247, day-between-2-Ts, 14  6. 23

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44900/an-essay-on-man-epistle-ii#:~:text=I.,study%20of%20mankind%20is%20man.

Monday they were talkingrather he ranted 

                                             Lousy gerrymandering white Republican Alabama knuckledraggers

Courts gonna handem their ass

Really? Knuckledraggers?

I offend ya

I think . . 

. . Yathink yawanna defendem

No. But why be impolite. 

ImpoliteChrist hold people downhold em back disadvantage em becauseOH they aint white its the twentyfirst fuckin century time white male entitlement took a bow Thas a wrap exit stage left 

                                                                                 Impolite Yare a real peachspare peoples feelings feelings  tha have been anesthetised 

I’m just saying get more bees . . 

. . Honey gimme a break  always concernedafraid to offend walk on glass eggshells  Alabama knuckledraggers

he shruggedshook his head  Not to change the subject.  It’d be nice if the Court saw fit . . however you don’t know.

I just said  You don follow the Court like I do 

                                       Absolutely emphasising it because buddy don believe in absolutes 

You don’t know that.                                             

Deaf Yahear wha Im sayin

You hope . .

. . Not hope  Know 

                    I know

   three days later . . .

337preferred,  Monday,  5  6. 23

1252,  day-between-2-Ts,  14  6. 23

https://www.npr.org/2023/06/08/1181002182/supreme-court-voting-rights

Neal Young  Alabama  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVG7U9UDi2E

turning he said HEY say  whaya doing over there 

                                                    she was crouchedreaching  Arya tryin to bruise my garlic

grasping it You cant bruise garlic . . can you?

You can bruise my garlic Theyre tender   casually adjusted himself then turned back to the sink where he was rinsing vegetables 

he was her prepcook was really good with a knife militarytrained  remanded to KP time an time again

                                                                                                            insubordination 

his defense  Sir, I refuse to suffer arrogance and stupidity, sir.

choice had been prison or the military

there had been a disagreement he vigorously defended himself  bareknuckles   apparently too vigorous

Thanks judge yare a real peach 

she laughed  muttered Bruising my garlic I’ll bruise your garlic.

Always threatening all mouth an no trousers

What?

You heard me

I haven’t heard that before, where did you pick that up?

No idea cant remember spose I read it somewhere  Nose has always been in a bookhe laughed loudly turned back around   she was rolling playing with the head of garlic in her hand

                                                            Book

she cocked her head  pensively    Book?

Yah  Think Ill double down

she gently shook her head  perplexed    I don’t follow.

Doubling down always   Always my head in a book

Oh, by all means, that makes everything perfectly clear, what do you mean?

                                                                                     What’s with the grin?

You know tha grin

she giggled gave the garlic a squeeze 

                                           Gently  gentle 

Are you going to say? she blushed

Yes 

      From here on out Im calling your pussy book

her hue bloomed 

Thas my grrl

347preferred,  day-between-2-Ts,  7  6. 23

1046,  day-between-2-Ts,  14  6. 23

https://www.theguardian.com/media/mind-your-language/2010/aug/26/all-mouth-and-trousers-mind-your-language

a question of character

to his mind it wasnt a question rather a demand 

                                                       either there or it aint 

cant twist someones arm  

only would extract a lie for that moment 

to him character was an innate quality

when someone showed him their hand   

he believed them 

                didnt matter if they were family friend or a stranger

he wanted no part of em 

as a teenager he bought a bike for fifty dollars a duskyred ten-speed Raleigh

his little brother took it without asking

he didnt lock it up he knew better

someone stole it

You owe me fifty dollars

I don’t have that kind of money.

Not now 

           Fifty

his parents wanted to reimburse him

No thank you Don cover his ass   He has to learn 

he didnt push it

his brother didnt pay him back

                              probably figured he forgot 

Asshole his memory abided   it was long tedious accurate 

years later his kid brother took his car without asking for a joy ride on a country road  Rye Creek

he collided with kid who had taken his parents car out for a joy ride too

his parentsthe kids parents wanted to worked out a solution

police werent called 

he ravedstormed out of the room before it was concluded

newlywed he and his wife made a down payment on a car with money from their wedding 

he wasnt disappointed with his brother

he couldnt be  

his brother didnt have character 

they didnt see each other often

he didnt live in state 

he returned for his Dads eightieth birthday the family threw a big party

while sitting beside his Dad sharing an Old Style his brother came up to him

       Are we going to take some time and talk? 

   About wha 

Anything. 

           You’re not impolite, but we don’t talk about anything of substance.

I agree We don 

Why?

Brother he put his hand on his shouldershook him gently  Yare not someone of substance But I still love ya  Youll excuse me please

his kid sister gave him a wide berth

they were also polite

she was a liar

MIDNIGHT,  Monday,  12  6. 23

0021,  day-between-2-Ts,  14  6. 23

 CORMAC McCARTHY IS DEAD

my heart raw Ive no words

John Donne speaks for me

No man is an Iland, intire of itselfe; every man 

is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; 

if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe 

is the lesse, as well as if Promontorie were, as 

well as if a Manor of they friends or of thine

owne were; any mans death diminishes me, 

because I am involved in Mankinde; 

And therefore never send to know from whom

the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.

MEDITATION XVII  Devotions upon Emergent Occasions

1612,  Twosday,  13  6. 23

Ah roommate he had called him for his birthday don’t you get lonely? 

No

Pretty quick, wouldn’t you like to think about it?

Nothing to thinkbout I enjoy the lifestyle prefer my community  

What community? he could imagine his old college roommates face they lived together for two yearswere tight  sang Happy Birthday  Seems odd that you refer to yourself as a community

It isnt  Im faceted 

                         he chuckled  Like a diamond or a mirrorball Hit me with a flashlight at night an I sparkle spangle 

I like my space my timeI like doing wha I want whenever I want 

I have my books films art Im fortunate I can entertain myself   An to this point  endlessly

You arent able to do alone

No I couldn’t. I do not like being alone . .

. . However theres caveat    Being alone isnt being lonely

   I’d be lonely.

Think of all the things you could do 

Things I want to do I want to do with others, my wife, my kids, grandkids . . friends . . . you have friends?

Im talking with one 

No. 

     Friends to hang out with.

No My friends like my family are remote faraway 

                                                       I don impede them they don impede me

No hindrance

Don’t you think it’s odd to think that? Or selfish?

Not selfish  The second time yave mentioned odd 

                                                      I donwanna to hinder anyone I respect they have lives an I want them to enjoy their lives as they want Its a rare instance where need does not supersede want 

I need  I rarely want 

You

I still want things. 

   Ive had things  An most those things I still have 

                                                     I probably saw this coming but didnt recognise it

You’ve always been drawn to the loner . . you remember us going to see Jeremiah Johnson? When it ended you begged off of leaving, you were staying. We caught the matinee. You stayed through the last show, saw it three times, correct?

Yes Twin bill   Good memory

Not really man, you’re the only person I know who spent an entire day to watch one film. Still your favorite?

Yes 

     I watch it fourfive times a year

Shit. 

       You? I should have seen this coming.

Yare at a remove Your whole family lives nearbyhave always lived near Id killya if they didnt

You have exactly whaya want

1118,  Twosday, 13  6. 23

a rampage likely forgotten 

                           https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6UBW0wrB18  

yet another rolls enters Miami tomorrow

fingers crossed its hard hes broken a lot of fingers  a peaceful outcome

a trial

a peaceful legal outcome 

                           because it ought to be vehemently understood  other legal precedents options can prevail

2049,  Monday,  12  6. 23

Maddow  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PBTI1xu8ZU 

Queen  Another One Bites the Dust  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqUenEMwsdQ

Did you just say thatask that?

   Comon man yaint tha dense

                                      theres no tellin whawoud come out of his mouth while he was rocked

if pointed in the direction of the primrosepath given his head he coudbe psychopathic bout it 

                                                                                                 not thatha was a bad thing despite Awspit its characterizations   antisocial behaviour not if taken into account social media   impaired empathy an remorse he had a boss once tell him No good deed goes unpunished. despite the intent the sage words hes continued to be punished for his good acts   an remorse but a morsel of regret or guilt  where did either get anyone  Ill tellya he told himself fodder  fodder for Church Fadders Forgive me Fadder for I have sinned Church prefers its herd held close to its vestments have them keep themselves to short leashes which canhowever capably double as a yardwhip for punishment or pleasure dependent ofcourse Ofcoarse   BOLD   disinhibited Ohbrother let mental health professionals on the playgroundlet them get their hands on things twist em manipulate womanipulate em theyll have everyone on their knees eating out their hands  Fadder UNINHIBITID 

                                                                                egotistical  who aint     

egoist  who aint 

selfinterest 

             fumbled at the keys got selfintewrest  hmm selfwrestling selfish   Aah  Shellfish mollusc they secret calcium carbonate derived from the water they inhabit mantle cells extract an combine the calcium an carbonate ions the shell secreted forms around their soft bodies 

ERGOist 

           Cognito, ergo sum. Rene Descartes Latin ofcourse I am thinking, therefore I exist. I think, therefore I am. 

Ingotist 

         one who amasses casts shapes sizes bitsanpieces to conveniently store transport and later work into a finished product 

HIM 

       rocked

Said wha

You asked How many Dicks you know? 

                                             What were you implying? 

For instance

Dicks.

   Dicks imply wha  I know yare homophobic  Woudya care to elaborate hed panic analso woud freak him out if knew he wrote and also analso too close to his gay notions gay inclinations  inclinednotions so much easier when inclined analso don forget where we came from 

                             Ya have a miserable habit of being unable to connect the dots  Ill take it ya didnt enjoy the numbered dot to dot books we had as kids  Was the only freakin way I coud draw 

ROCKED

Remember

Remember?  Jesus no I don’t remember.

No  Ya get caughtup in your ideations Either things tha offend you or you think offence is intended  Stumbling moth bent like hell at a lightbulb

   You really think that?

Think  No 

            If you think about it  I tellya often But thas neither here nor there Thawhich preceded Dicks which ya cant recall  We were talking how I was fired from Starbucks for fashioning cocks an cunts on top of lattes 

YES!  I remember that.

Now 

      Whafollowed

I don’t remember that.

You will 

            Then I said  Coud you imagine wha a woman woud thinkmight be frightened whad she think after blowing a dozen different guyswomans got an appetitean appetite commiserate to any guys anyes  theyre out there  despite wha you think  Whad she think when confrontedcame eye to eye with an uncircumcised dick 

Like the one you first saw at Nutz Public Pool whenya coudnt swim in ifya hadnt showered naked 

NUSS.

        N U S S not N U T S.

Id spell it N U T Z   Tryin to keep you away from balls

Jesus.

Enough Jesus 

                You recall

Now I do.

Then answer the question

You know, this feels like an interrogation.

Only because when yare sidetracked you get stuck on the siding To be fair at least yare smart to get the hell out of the way of the screaming freight

                              Me  Im rocked 

The answer 

Dicks 

   I haven’t known many.

Biblically 

Blow me!

No thank you

1705,  Monday,  5  6. 23

1405, Monday,  12  6. 23