Whawas I thinking this morning he hemmed  It was clever whaever it was   Whawas it   Wasnt yet eight

Goddammit  Gone   Departee polyhombre

   Where does it go

Don know but when it goes it goesnot a footprint no trail walks on rock in a creek

                                                                                        Aint no bloodhound can follow 

What  was   it  Why isit the clever ones die young 

                                                        hed done everythinganything he could think of to shake his brain treat it like a can of warm beer yank the tab nada  no aerosol ejaculate   foam

                                                                                    luke  warm

   Where

if he knew how to find Where a vast subterranean vault artesian wellcoudnt forget tha if he tried  grewup on Artesian 

if he knew How reminiscing would be impossible everything on the front burner gasflame blasting yet unable to cook all the gooses that earlier had run out of his head

this mornings No Sir  long gone 

                                    but he remembered it was clever

   Time to move on

cop said Move along, move it along folks nothing to see here, nothing to see, move along. cowboy said Git along, git along little doggies.

he did

        dragging as feet as he did

b4 8,  Monday,  8  5. 23

101preferred,  Monday

occurred to him to shave occurs every couplethree weeks  was nearly midnight  didnt pay much attention to his reflections 

           as a matter of fact he passed it onto othersasked them Lemme know when its time I shave   

but they were as lax as he

maybe if they were women theyd be more forthcoming 

he glanced up as he washed his hands

                                         Kahrist mirror said  Lookin’ a little mangy.

I got nowhere to be

   Ah.  To be or not to be.

I is 

    Don have to impress a soul   Im clean

Clean . . and mangy.

Eye of the beholder  I aint being beheld

I’m just sayin . .

. . An thank you I do appreciate that although ya can bypass the commentary 

                                                                                   Sayinso is plenty

I hope you’ll have a word for your buddies.

Nah  Hellno 

              They wont recognise I shavedwhich I intend to do immediately

Mirror mirror on the wall can you abide my puss a while longer

My Queen . . 

. . STOP right there he chuckled  I dig your sense of humour

1952,  Sunday,  7  5. 23

1203,  Monday,  8  5. 23

https://www.greatfallstribune.com/story/money/2016/03/12/mirror-honest-feedback-valuable/81130910/ 

Dunning-Kruger  https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/dunning-kruger-effect

Hiyahiyahiya . . . bees knees

Christ, bee’s knees, I haven’t heard that since I was a kid.

Aunt uncle grandparenthuh

I think.

I don know if Ive ever said it beforebut spot onits spot on

Spot on?

Yah

   You gonna say?

I will still relishing it 

                         I heard it last night  Been relishing it since 

It’s that good?

Its inspiring  Another phonaesthetics cant seem to get enough

All because cellar door is pitiful 

Sucks 

        Im going to eradicate it

Man, the hard-on ya got for it.

I do I do 

               Strapped in

Really?

Ohshityah more than just a phonaesthetic  A concept I believe horseshit  I said so

Yawould.

I woud

   Awright. A second. 

                         she made a thing of it comedian cleared her throat craned her neck rolled her shoulder . .

Ya like to squeeze one off too 

JESUS!

Yare goinlong on me  tad too elaborate

You’re the one double-dipping, aesthetic and concept.

I said horseshit  Don think youll be enthused 

                                                  Lemme say    Arya strapped in 

her laughter sounded like a bark dimples deepened

Yaready

cleared her throat again 

                             Okay.  Ready.

   Submissive mistress

What the fuck? 

Complete with safe word  though it hasnt been used

Ya think a submissive would use a safe word?

No  No I do not 

                  Seems ridiculous to offer a safe word I asked whaif she was a dominatrix he said he woudnt play  But dominant mistress isnt phonaesthetic-ey 

No.

     Got that right.

On occasion

You certainly have a way of becoming involved . .

. . Wasnt involved walked into it

   And?

Wha

        Oh  To protect the innocent an the guilty Im not sayin  Just wanted to share the another Tolkien chagrin

   

Token chagrin?

Set you up  Thank you for sayin so I didnt have too

Were you there?

   Please  Really

You're quick. 

Yah 

      Premature  Yawanna conclude tha thought 

Isnt it concluded?

he shifted around in his pants 

                                     It is

Creamy jeans Possible candidate                                               

Creamy jeans?  You’re awful.

Stop  Ya love my mind Me

I never vowed for better or worse.

I didnt ask

 

   marriages arent necessary  contracts violated then contending with all the shit afterwards                 

JUST LIVE TOGETHER

yesterday evening,  today Sunday,  7  5. 23  1543hrs

bigfoot 

        he eats it and beats it has an aversion to being petted  but  whats to expect from a feral cat

Expect

Yah ya do something out of the kindness of your heart don expect anythingnothing in return Ifya are  don do it 

Tit for tat indebted  Don help

Ya don think somebody ought to return the favour

Spose tha depends on wha someone means by favour 

                                                         Obligation   Thank you negates any debt

But youd like to have bigfoot relate some kind of thanks submit to your petting

   Itd be nice but unnecessary

I disagree

To which yare welcome 

                          Yatake a girl on a date you expect a kissmebbe more 

I think so

Shes obligated

No not obligated but . . 

. . She owes you

I didnt say obligated owes

No 

   Ya said  I think so

Yare making too much of this

Not me I was plain spoken 

                             bigfoots affection woud be nice but isnt necessary  Ive fed him twice a day for almost ten yearsActually  this will make ya feel betterhow he repays me

Ah so he does repay you

Evenings if he isnt apparent I call to him an feed wee in the meantime

Wee

Another feral I feed 

                     Usually by the time I get wee situated bigfoots coming up the hill to the porch  he saunters  saunters like John Wayne  Its a kick  a wonderful treat  in your word  repayment

he harrumphedcrossed his arms over his chest

                                                 Man  ya really take the cake

Don like cake

1616,  Monday,  10  1. 22

1030,  Sunday,  7  5. 23

Saturday  6May

https://abc7.com/texas-shooting-allen-outlets-mall/13220871/

really  prayers?

   howbout a catchy tune instead  And another one’s gone, another one’s gone, another one bites the dust

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqUenEMwsdQ

YES  DARK   murder with weapons of war is

1051,  Sunday,  7  5. 23 

SHY  Where arya girl

he looked at the three others he was confident one day one would answer him You chuckleheads see shy maybe he shouldnt call em chuckleheads improve his chances odds

they were looking at the dishes spreadout in his hands like a poker cards that hed be serving wet food on

it wasnt a question  No 

SHY

      after making his bed cleaning their boxes he hadnt seen her

laundry room where two of the boxes were kept

                                                   he walked in she parked her ass on the washer lookingup at the shelf where he stored an electric wok Farberware rotisserie two brown catalog envelopes stuffed with folded plastic grocerybags to line the goofy owl trashbucket he emptied sifted litter clumps and turds 

                                                                                             Spider watch girl 

she was eyeballing something concentrating

DAMMIT 

          like a horror film long shinyblack legs crept out of one of the envelope widow

Good girl Shy  Number three 

                               two more would qualify her as a World War I flying ace  first French pilot Adolphe Pegoud July 1915

behind him on a shelf opposite were two small Mason jar

on a stepstool he stood glass heel to opening 

                                                Comon baby he purred he had sweet talked widows before they couldnt resist

she emerged

glass clicked 

Shy 

     Thas three

stepping down holding the widow and glasses in one hand he walked through the house got bumrushed crossing before the kitchen threshold 

                        cats wanted to eat 

Gimme some room kids aint eight worthwhile drumsticks here

he walked her outdoors to bushes across the drive to his carport  found a good size leaf 

                                                                                              Madam your new home

he gently shook her outparked her ass stepped away if she bitched he didnt understand spider

January ’23  was reading Graebers Pirate Enlightenment

2141,  Saturday,  6  5. 23

. . . Children are gifts from God.

Hey yawanna hold your tongue

You don’t believe that?

No

     Id say wanted children are gifts from God 

Wanted . . what do you mean?

Don play stupid with me 

                           Were wending a road where children are gifts from politicians

That’s an ugly thing to say.

Yawanna know something uglier

No . . I don’t think so.

Ohno  ya opened the door

she shook her head  Couldya gimme a second . . I think I’m going to need to steady myself.

poker face 

             When yare ready

 

   Im ready.

If children are gifts from God why does He giveth then taketh away with weapons of war 

Jesus Joe.

1802,  day-between-2-Ts,  3  5. 23

1550,  Saturday,  6  5. 23

Dammit  woke himhe couldnt sleep 

                                      he knew if he did on the other side of the curtain the Vaudville Act would be waiting for him            

he screamed Give em the hook  screamed at his lucid dreaming self

for some reason he ignored himself

it felt like spite 

                or   in spite of him 

they werent exactly the same

maybe his license expired

his wallet was in the car

he kept it thereno way in Hell going out in the middle of the night 

                                                                      check it tomorrow 

he laid his head on the pillow 

pillows are conduits

   he could hear them laughing 

                                  I don’t think he’s coming back.   Ya think we scared him off?   Maybe for now, but in the meantime someone go around to the back door and make sure he doesn’t try to come in that way, he used to sneak into the cinema that way as a kid.   I heard he bullrushed the ticket attendant with a bunch of other guys, didn’t get caught.   He did, that attendant isn’t us, that’d be stupid.   He ain’t stupid.   Ain’t he, he wanted us pulled, Give ‘em the hook! Can you imagine?   Don’t have to, that’s what happened. I'm waiting, I’ll wait till Hell freezes over.   Can’t. Your heart's in the right spot but this was a one night gig, I couldn’t negotiate anything longer.   Are you shitting me, we came all this way for one night?   There was a contingency, but Give ‘em the hook shot us in the head, Management has awready declined.   Who’s Management?   The MAN who cried Give ‘em the hook.   Dammit! I’d love to kick his ass.   Save it, ain’t gonna happen . . mumble mumble mubble . . .

   he heard enough 

                      Awwell Time to get the show on the road 

wiped sleep out of his eyes made his bed fed the cats in an out made coffee got on with his day

if they returnedshowed again he had an eye for faces 

                                                           Katie bar the door  No Entry

1801,  Sunday,  30  4. 23

1512,  Saturday,  6  5. 23

The Dreadnoughts  Katie, Bar the Door  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYJR0iJ_pII

looking up out the book he read as he walked he saw of pigeons and blackbirds playing at the edge of a huge puddle inside a fenced-in vacant lot

they looked like they were having a ball 

                                          amid the squalor that people do so well

empty pizza boxes soda cans beer bottles plastic pints cellophane Doritos Fritos Lays bags McDonalds In ‘n Out Carls Jr Mr Pickle Panda Express food wrappers Starbucks 7/11 paper coffee cups lids plastic packaging strands shreds clinging windwoven to the twisted barb end chain link fence 

might be the lot was an assigned recycle receptacle he wasnt informed of 

                                                                              ifso 

then whats with the puddle and the birds

there was an oilysheen to the water that looked brown reflected the clouds in the sky above it colouring courtesy of the sodden earth under it

they appeared to be having fun intermingling their calls sounded fun

he wished he had sand yellowwhitegreenorangeredblue paneled beach balls beach towels and multigrain chips to share

   reminded him of children at the seashore   

1415,  Sunday,  16  4. 23

1002,  Saturday,  6  5. 23

a thatched scalp

                  not becoming on a redhead the sparseness  the comb-overplease No  Aint fooling a soul 

Whadaya think

they were standing in line to pay for groceries

I was thinkin mebbe youd shut it till we were outside

Yare curious

Yare more

            Ask

Ask him if he blames his mother

Yah If he buys into the mythology

He may not even know theres a myth

Ask

     Ill bet ya money

You have no money

Pretend I do  Ask

Anif hes sensitive

Yare empathetic 

                  Yave dug yourself out of deeper hol . .

. . Thaya put me in

We put you in

               When we saw thatch Moe . . 

. . Thatch Moe 

                Playing off Satchmo Louie Armstrong 

Clever huh 

            We had a side bet youd also pickup on tha Dammit  I wish we had cash Id be cleaningup

The rest of the gang bet  I woudnt

Not all not all 

              The only reason we gathered was tha they herald me to bug you to ask Sandy if he blamed his old lady . .

. . Mother

   Myth

Yes takes two to tango two recessive genetic Mammie an Pappie

Yah So ask Sandy

He busts me in the mouth you guys suffer nothing

Were ah were idea heshes an shehes 

                                          Well feel bad for ya

Fuckin Mariachi . .

. . Where woudyabe without us

   I don know

                 Have always had youse 

Ask

     His name is Sandy

Its not

It is I have a sidebet If only I had real cash  Ooh 

                                                      Ya also wanna ask if he has a sister if shes balding too

Yet another side bet

Nah 

      Just curious 

So ya bettin he blames his Maw

I am

Awright awright goin in

there was some screwup by the cashier an they had to unbag all the groceries and run them again

                                                                                                        Sorry everyone. A computer glitch.

Operator error

Woudya shaddup

Ask awready

he leaned into the gentleman 

                                Excuse me Sandy

the fella leaned away

                       Do I know you, I don’t think I know you, how do you know me? 

SANDY  right on

Shaddup    

   You look familiar  I coudnt say when where  just remembered Sandy

                                                                              Joe

Sandy shook his hand 

                         You don’t look familiar to me. Whatever. 

Youll excuse me Ive got a running bet with my brother-in-law about balding men hes balding who they blame

Blame? 

         Who does your brother-in-law blame?

I don wanna taint your answer 

                                 You tell me who you blame and Ill tell you who he blames

My mother. 

I TOLD YOU 

Hushit

He blames both his parents recessive genes  combinants two combined   a set

It’s his mother.

Thank you  Ill tell him 

                        Thank you

Alright, man.

One other if I may You have a sister

Don’t we all?

I do He does 

               His sister is also balding and she she blames her father not her mother

It’s her mother. Tell him to tell her.

Awright awright 

                  Thank you again

Pretty stupid questions.

You don know my brother-in-law Sandy

1234,  Twosday,  28  3. 23

444preferred,  Reggaefriday – ffuull Flower Moon – Cinco de Mayo,  ‘23

he walkedup on the corner 

                            a huge intersection  had a pedestrian crossing button which he pressed three times WAIT WAIT WAIT it said 

he wondered whose voice it was when he met people he provoked them in conversation to utter wait so he could compare  

when the light changed so he could proceed it never said GO nothing  he wished there was a leadup  RUNNERS ON YOUR MARK  GET SET  GO 

                              had he designed the system it would have had a hyper interactive Crossing Guard

RUN FORREST RUN then fuck with the timing so it wasnt 30 seconds every time a pedestrian crossedYES 

                                                                                                                occasionally slow elderly or disabled people entered the crosswalk  the illuminated countdown runs outtheyre halfway cross the lights change  would really get blood churning through their veins 

Comon when was the last time they got a rush like that

                                                           HELL ol folk probably forgot what adrenaline is 

hed put a hop in their step or not

certainly would make traffic cautious 

                                        its one thing callously running over cat opossum squirrel raccoon  but damages inflicted by deer human beings  devastating 

   standing on the corner running all sorts of shit through his mind he noticed on the traffic light arched over the lanes coming from the west that he was waiting to stop so he could cross were two big scrubjays 

                                                                                                looking mighty prehistoric looking  like raptorsOHNO  velociraptors Jurassic Park fame  

both fixing him in their eyes 

                             Brother had been awhile since he felt like meat 

not since he acquiesced took a friends girlfriends little sister to her senior prom  word was through the grapevine that little sister had turned down all askers she had the hots for him

she wasnt necessarily his flavour a redhead  though he did like her freckles

                                                                                  I really dig your freckles he told her at dinner after prom 

they didnt dine where arrangements had been made by the prom committee 

she said was cool

 

   when they pulledup in front of her house at the end of the night he went around behind the car to her door to open it for her

        in the while she slipped out of her dresslost her bra and panties

opening the door she stomped her foot on the concrete Leverage  yanked him inside on top of her then jujitsu he was under her 

             no  some people don cry out when theyre rapedJesus 

MEAT 

   he kept his eyes on the ball

watched them watch him

a car crossing traffic with him backfiredfrightened the raptors they peeledoff left  north  he finished crossing the intersection walking backwards 

                                     he didnt trust them 

MEAT

1225,  Monday,  10  4. 23

1222, Reggaefriday – ffuull Flower Moon – Cinco de Mayo,  ‘23

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSMxl1V8FSg

hes from Texas . . ought to know

15:27 minute-mark  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyWxcQgBRkQ 

Texas Senator John Cornyn vouching for Supreme Court Justice Thomas and billionaire Harlan Crow  . . . honorable men 

   if honorable 

                 hed love to hear Cornyn tell of those who are dishonorable 

Shame  but 

              hes wellaware photogenic preening Republican celebrities have no shame

then to really bundle his horseshit in a ribbon an bow Cornyn suggests this current assault on Thomas’ ethics is 32years in the making  the continuation of Thomas’ Senate confirmation hearing  Anita Hill  . . . a hi-tech lynching of a black nominee

          O Cornyn  you can blow me

 

                                                                                              1712,  Thursday,  4  5. 23

leaning over to pick it up off the gravel poorly maintained road he thought someone was going to be really upset  probably put their iPhone on the roof of the car and drove off forgetting they had

it was straitjacketed tucked inside a safety case

it was still on locked

                      hed finish walking to the market and on the way home drop it at the police station he assumed they had the technologythey had a sophisticated ex-military armored riot vehicle to get into it before the battery ran cold 

it was fully charged

standing upright he tossed it into a Trader Joes canvasbag that hung over his shoulder

before he went back to the book he was reading as he walked he slipped out a halffolded piece of paper he carried inside it to make notes to write the addresses east west sides of the street two apartment complexes he wasnt that good a Samaritan to rap on door  so happens in this red town fearful town an unexpected rap coud get one shot 

Why do you keep living there, Dad? his girls asked  You have nothing in common with the majority of them.

I do I do  They irritate me so I irritate them

   noted he put the paper back in the book but before he began reading he caught out the corner of his eye the next house south  east side 

                         a twostorey flatfaced dull brown house no invitation there not even to Trick or Treat if that were a thing anymore it squat on the foremost lefthand corner immediately after the dirt drive that ran there was no garage up along the side of the house and behind it a sixfoot vertical plank fence began it looked like a line of cemetery wood gravemarkers over the top of it he saw rusted corrugated outbuildings beyond  it was easy a square acre lot easy 

searching his memory he couldnt say hed seen as foreboding a house outside a ghost town 

                                                                                                 ghosts would be receptive

his were

          made it their business to remind him he was only renting their house 

My spooks likely he thought wouldnt want any part of this joint 

   bringing the book up to his face he began readingwalking again had no sense of being watched 

                                                                                                          ghostless

 

1235,  Monday,  10  4. 23

1407,  Thursday,  4  5. 23