15.4.23


   to make something out of nothing
                                          how hard was tha  his Mom constantly threw things togetherAlchemy his father wasnt far behind  the frig door opened cans in the cupboard clanged 
                                                                         Tha’ll work.   Lemme see. she looked  Ohyeah, tha’ll work.


DINNER his father whistled from the backdoor he had five minutes to make it homehands washed dried or he wouldnt be seated at the kitchen table his mothers mother gave it to them a huge oak table with leaves to seat a dozen  it sat their seven comfortably

WOW they knocked it out of the park 
                                         where was everything from where was the meat from
SUSPICION 
             he listened to the outofdoors noises drifting in through the kitchen window above the sink where later hed be washing drying putting away pots and pans dishes utensils silverware

it sounded like all the neighbours dogs were still there 
CATS
          if he heard it cat it ought not be stalking about

This is delicious 
                   Wha is it
It’s food.  end of discussion  as Because I say was the end of discussion


wha the hell it was tasty 
                           he could care less wha it was 

those kinds of dinners incentivised him to keep his head on a swivel keep moving

his father always said It’s hard to hit a moving target. 
                                                              he survived Korea

1719,  Saturday,  15  4. 23

14.4.23



he knew when he was dreaming 


he had the ability to manipulate them 
                                       NO occasionally someone referred to it as oneirokinesis not erotic
Lucid dreaming its called lucid dreaming 
                                           kinesis lacking direction orientation dependent upon the intensity of the stimuli  Of dreams and related phenomena 
Wha related phenomena

he didnt stick around for an answer he didnt care for the term
                                                                 lucid dreaming all gussiedup
   r o k smackdab at its middle screamed woke to him the last freakin thing hed wanted to contend with while he arranged adjusted honed  as he directed

if he wished he authored them 

sometimes he went along for the ride 

fired on all cylinders 



You’re killing me fuck me already! 
                                   Ohno he didnt say he was letting her off easy they twistedflounced about he went under the sheets pinching hersqueezing her her bare skin then the sheet pliant between them skin hot he tweaked herlapped hernibbled bit sucked intent on driving her mad
                                                              their bedroom second storey across from an enormous windowsun pouring in splashing them illuminating them she wasnt keen  and really wasnt when he turned the light on at night 
         shed sighed  Please turn it off.
                                         Ohno he didnt say she was beautifulspectacular   terribly selfconscious
he kept up the foreplay 
prolonged it 
                  Please . . fuck me . . . 
he wanted to 
              but he wanted more to cherish her relish her envelope her  eat her alive because he knew after they made love she would vanish 
she wouldnt say when shed return
                                          he was dreaming

his wife was dead      

1549,  day-between-2-Ts,  12  4. 23
1139,  Reggaefriday,  14  4. 23


he liked to poke beastslisten to their bellows groans  pig squeals  sheep baaas  cattle muus  animal soundsBeach Boys Pet Sounds   their discomfort made him curious
                                                  April Fools
 
that Saturday he read America had suffered 1,155,098 Trumpvirus deaths 
this morning
              1,158,017 deaths
tha difference over 12days 2,919   
                                      243 Americans died every day    DIEDADAY 
phonaesthetics 
STOP 
          Nah  coudnthelp himself 
hed been following Trump deaths since he returned home 22March 2020  driving home that sketchy Sunday on a highway along the ocean he mused  a zombie apocalypse  not smashedabandoned carsgnawed corpses  rather five lanes north south empty  very few cars before or behind him  
                                                                 he learned that on 22March 2020 an estimated 4,737 Americans had died
horrific numbers

he coudve vomited
                  because he understood former woudnt getup off his ass an attack  walking winded fat man

0029,  Reggaefriday,  14  4. 23

13.4.23


Graebers Pirates 
                 loaded  thas how he wanted it to sound

I’ll need a little more than that to go off of.
                                               she didnt run anywhere with it  Grabbers  Pirates    Wench  

The bookbooks Ive been reading

slowly she shook her head side to side

   No

No. But you’re always reading and always talking about what you’re reading and you read a lot of books at the same time too.

Too

Yes. 
      Too seemed to fortify her  like a perfect Godformed Excuse  her spine firmed up

Tha contents you lets ya off the hook

Am I on a hook?

   You are

How am I on a hook?you can’t imagine I can keep track of all the books you’re reading that are all over the place fiction nonfiction history science literature . .
. . Physics 
Yes.

Graebers dead 
                   I emphasised his unfortunate deaththa he founded Occupy Wall Streetyoull recall  you must recall 
I read his three books in a rowYes  interspersed with others but hisI thought  I mentioned most prominently
Or did I not

   I'm on a hook.

A bit donya think

I think. 
          I apologise.  Can you understand you’re hard to keep up with? 
Sometimes
             Though yare usually up to the task

You said task.

An idiom a matter of speech

But you said task.

he smiled sardonically 
                         Yare really pulling teeth for cover arent ya

she smiled beautifully 
                        Maybe.
 
Are you going to let me off the hook?

I like how ya move while yare on it 
                                     Ill have to keep tha in mind if I get an opportunity to get you in the sack
her eyes bugged 
                 he hadnt talked to her like that before but it was due  cool having a woman as a friend but having a female friend in bed was cooler 
Yare not sayin

   I . I . . I don’t know what to say.

Perhaps  Joe whaof Graebers Pirates to which Id say theres a place called Ranter Bay on Madagascar Ranters believerather embraced antinomianism  Wha youd ask Id say antinomianism Greek anti I know you know against an nomos which means law which is very pirateish against law a doctrine Christians pirates who knew are freed by grace from obeying Mosaic Law Moses Torah first five books of the Hebrew Bible sexual morality reject the very notion of obedience  I can get behind tha   they held believers are free from all traditional restraints and tha sin whas sin I don believe in sin is only a product of the imagination 

   some stiff went out of her spine 


Yah  Just tryin to provide you a little cover as ya ruminate  see us going to bed

before 1550, Reggaefriday,  10  2. 23
1133,  Thursday,  13  4. 23

12.4.23


What are you looking at?

I didnt realise your place was under such brisk airline traffic  routed

Ohyeah years. Not so much when we built here.

This must be the sixthseventh Ive seen since we came out here to bullshit have coffee

Coffee? Are you giving up on putsches?

Hes out of office  Klatch now unless you have a better moniker

Coffee klatch better than bullshit, we do traverse some heady ideas . . 
. . Unless were just stoned an they seem like they are 
                                                        Your fumble My balls when referring to Your Boys your sonswhile reasonable you were responsible for sexing them coud infer  not so heady

I’d like to think we’ve had knowledgeable conversations . .
. . You perhaps I shoot from the hip am easily entertained terribly distracked by vagrant thoughts rap rap rapping at my chamber door an ivory bonecoloured beak Nevermore nevermore an inarguable absolute you have nothing to do with absolutes rail at them are riled by them yet you are absolute 
                                                                Absolutely wont have sex with a guyPERIOD  Yah  Jesus. 
Im high
         So much for your knowledgeable 
Jet planes   

   You’re looking north. he was exhausted by his barrage but wasnt going to let on easier to let it go not participate get drawn in not slop gas on the fire that might flareengulf him Now if you’d taken the chair beside mine, were seated facing in the same direction as me you’d’ve missed them, you seem distracted by them.

Not a distractionnah I tend to pay attention to things over my head   Aircraft    Physics theoretical physics he laughed Geometry  These white planes passing overhead arent angels  try as they may

Angels?

Soaring angels  gliding on outstretched wings 
                                                 Take a gander  Silently sweeping cross pitchperfect blue

I ain’t getting’ up to look, I know what they look like.

Ought to 
         Coud actually be an angel transmogrified to appear an airliner  If they can appear as incubuses succubuses not bi incubi succubi  even demons keep to their heterosexual desires  like you 
                                                                                        Absolutely     
Christ. You’re out of your fuckin’ mind. 
Yah 
     No mind no mine can contain me 

   Aeroplanes 

Angels dude
        
2047,  Thursday,  23  3. 23
1325,  day-between-2-Ts,  12  4. 23
Evangelist   The World That I Created  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqaUPki2Tuo  God Song  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gCmXCoFvCM 

Justins justices


YAAY!! happie face 
                     Awwww  a facetious unhappy face

Tennessee House speaker Cameron Sexton robbed someone ambitious of a porn name is eating crow this evening Excuse the redundancyBLACK crow  Justin serving sizes   Jones an Pearson

theyve been democratically reinstated by their districts despite the hard-ons the desires of a shitdripping autocratic White House 


he was going to stretch out  have a beer  keep his handkerchief close to wipe his nosewipe his tears according to his unbrooked spastic hellacious sidesplitting howls laughter

1717, day-between-2-Ts,  12  4. 23


You’re in love with experience. her shoulders roseher back straightened  weight  gone  
                                                                                        Not me.
   Thas harsh
That’s real, it’s honest.  Can you tell me it’s not true, I’m wrong?

Experience  Theres another wordI believe  though I cant think right now
                                                                                 No  Yare not wrong
A thrill?
Yare not a thrillnot a wham bam thank you maam  if thaswha yare implying 
No? Then what? 
                  What am I to you?

A friend  I didnt mean to hurt you Ive been honest   I havent lied to you
                                                                              Have you lied to yourself  
I must hav . .
. . Donbe glib 
                Please

large singular tears rolled out of her eyes                         

How does tha happen he thoughthe hadnt ever cried like thahad tears like tha not ever  he took her by the back of her neckhead with one handshe didnt pullaway an with his thumbalternately with his index finger he wiped tears away 

I have been honest with you 

she cleared her throat

                           Yes.   I thought I could change your mind. 
Baby Ive never anya know how much I dislike using never  Ive never changed anyone mind 
                                                                                                 I take people at their word

she tried to smile but it broke in her face 
                                            I know I know.  I hoped I could change your mind.
he smiled gentlycompassionately 
                                     Experience  Insightful babe  Not tha I giveup wont think of the word  he chuckled  Thaya changed my mind 

she hit him in the chest with the heel of her hand 
                                                    My Godyou’re such a prick!
Tell all your friends write it on bathroom stalls  he laugheddeeply 
she laughedhe infected her  besides herself 
                                             You’re a piece of work.
An a piece

closing her eyes she shook her head nonodded her head yes 
                                                                  Manohman.
Thas mine 
I’m takin’ it. 
Yare welcome to it 
I know that’s why I’m helping myself . to it.  I’m helping myself. 
                                                                        I am.
still holding her he gently kissed her
   Yes 
          Yare nobodys fool 
    
2040,  Thursday,  23  3. 23
1020,  day-between-2-Ts,  12  4. 23

11.4.23


Of course it is he said out loud

2:34 showed on the kitchen range
                                    a moment earlier he went to his pocket to take out change he received from the drugstore to place it in a coin jar  somebody coughed up a buffalohead nickel  Idiot   wha people will let slip for prescriptions 
              not ten minutes prior to the drugstore he started at the wrongend of the marketusually came in through its first doors  when he arrived at the day-old bread rack an elderly woman with an elderly man held a loaf of sourdough the old man said he wasnt partial to sourdough  looking over his shoulder at him as he approached the woman brusquely put it in the basket the old man held  
she didnt reply to his objection 
                                 a feral look crept into her eyeshe saw  she was keeping the bread to deny him 
he sidestepped them  
                       a cellophane bag of raisincinnamon bagels remained  

the old woman turnedlooked at him  

Bravo

she didnt hide her canines

he thought Bitch 
                felt bad for the old man  he couldnt help but wonder how many years he performedwondered what baggage she made him carry for her 

   he chuckled 
                 he thought The things we do for love

the things we do consume usbecome kneejerk habits thoughtless 
                                                                    the old man  brainwashed  had likely jumped through hoops for pussy  

maybe her tantalising pussy sealed the deal 
                                              maybe  retired in a few years 
   children you know  crimp ones style

234preferred,  Twosday,  11  4. 23
1936,  Twosday
25cc  The Things We Do for Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgptvsHHYK4 
Maria Maldaur  Midnight at the Oasis  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlrKETxwRvM


Republicans are entrenched

though if one is lucid theyd realise that more than half the battle is won

hed recommend simply shoveling earth in on top of them 
bury them 
            pat the soil in place

no bother with a gravemarker a memorial
because 
         in a matter of a few years that ground richturbulent with festering greed coercion power will become black and ripe 
      excellent fertiliser to grow vegetables crops
 
1619,  Twosday,  11  4. 23
Sergio Mendes e Brazil ’66  Look Around  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4n-4utYZ7hE


Get on with it awready

he was going to mouth back but giving it a moment he realised they were right shehe heshe  he was draggin his feet   it happened occasionally

Not he was dosed  he dosed

Why don you write it

Thas your job Im only a consultant
                                     Or in this case an insistent prompter Get on with it woudya
he wasnt in the mood 

                         Yare right
Spose well see where it goes
                                        
Thas the spirit 
               heshe shehe reminded him of Varsity high school cheerleaders GOT THE SPIRIT!  YEAH MAN!  WE GOT THE SPIRIT! 
              it wasnt until he was a spectator that he heard them  while he was on the field or the floor he didnt 


he dosed Yare right   Of course I am 
                                          dosed  an inartful way of saying it 
he dosed seeing family again

when they coalescedcame together like when he was a kidwhen everybody lived within an easy halfhour of everyone else weekend clan gatheringsif not all  most

whenever flying in again he recognised its centrality 
                                                       and with people organisations who believe they are the Center others fall into it or are spunout of its orbit

they may believe he was spunout of it

   he chose to go

it escapes them to move out 
                             maybe fearful that having left someone or something will replace them

he was proof otherwise

his misfortune  an inartful way of saying it  was that they lacked consideration that if he didnt visit they wouldnt see him he wouldnt see them 
                           however he understood that before he left  a long time ago

he conceded it then to be true

the advantageHIS of the situation circumstance was that he was imminently capable of withstanding being at a remove

the center holdsthe whole holds because it craves itself more collectively than being alone

   he neither craved nor was satisfied 
                                        he was a satellite  terribly curious of the Outer 
the Other

0817,  Monday,  13  2. 23
1205,  Twosday,  11  4. 23

10.4.23


gerrymandered super majority Tennessee State House Republicans  Look whos coming to dinner AGAIN hurhur  huurrr

1758,  Monday,  10  4. 23


So were coming up on the twentyfirst no  wha   cant call it an anniversary    Twentyone years since one of Americas worse calamities our war criminal yet unindicted anif I hear again about our heroic soldierstheir heroic efforts Ill puke

They were heroic.

Were you heroic was America heroic I don think so 
                                                       Heroic woudave been siding with the rest of the world rather than threatening them an let International Intelligence criminalwork police ferret out suspects and try them in Court Terrorism is a crime Imagine all the human lives treasure tha woudave been saved  Instead we kicked it in the balls trashed the region   

I think, romantically speaking, we can call them heroes, heroic.

Murders romantic

Come on, they’re soldiers.

Soldiers are romantic

You know what I mean.
I don 
      Romanticised Politically Criminally Romantic death  Aint    Romantically is living loving Really tough when yare dead 

he shook his head How’d we get here?

I said heroic is humble a hero is humble  Self-aggrandised touted no  There are very few real heroes theyre rarely acknowledged

Every soldier who servedserves is not a hero 
                                                 Heroic woudave been to not buy in to spoil the war criminals plots

I can’t agree.

Im not asking you to 
                     Tell mebout your service in Nam
his head snapped round 
                          Oh thas right Ya claim ya didnt know you enjoyed a college deferment 

Nicehuh  Go to college beat the draft    Thank your lucky white stars 
     
333 preferred,  Reggaefriday, 17  3. 23
1123,  Monday,  10  4. 23
Americas war criminals still unindicted  https://www.cfr.org/timeline/iraq-war


. . . when is it . . tha ya know tha ya know 


he tossedturned  adjusted his pillow TOSSedrefused to open his eyes   in his headYa miss Im tryin to sleep here

We were too except it kept occurring to us   So . . O Captain! my Captain! Rise up and hear the bells;/Rise up –

   Cute Whitman  he was awakeeyes still closed 
                                                     I think hed be with me  Let us sleep woudya 
We cant . . 
. . So yare dragging me in . into your insomnia

Its not insomnia 
                Just a question tha occurred tha we coudnt answer coudnt put away We thought our agitation like a unceasing washingmachine spincycle woudavewakened ya

I like spincycles humm of bees hummingbird wings bamboo windchimes they soothe me

   Our distress soothed you

Ya got it
         Ifya kept your mouths shut I woudave slept through your wondering  Coudnt it have waited till morning

It is morning . . 
. . Not yet four . . 
. . Thas morningyah

   Whos the esquire 
                          I donwanna debate

Then please . . . answer the question

he yawnedscratched his balls Again

we asked When is it tha ya know tha ya know

When yaknow in your gut your fibers

   Like when you fell in love
Yes
      Oughta run tape ansee for yourselves

O

Clever keepin up the Whitman hOmage

they giggled 


Can we call it a night go back to sleep

Yasure 
        Thank you
Welcome 
       as he turned onto his sidebent his legs leftie jumpedup onto the bed an curled behind his knees  she was an organ-ic sedative  hed be asleep in minu . . . . . 


Look  Hes already there 
                            Lucky duck
                                               
prior to 0400  sometime,  Monday,  10  4. 23
1012,  Monday – MindDay – MineDay

9.4.23

yinyang year


he was going to dust the day off his hands like a gravedigger Whard He go?  then he remembered a friends birthday hed be remiss if he didnt call

   Hello?

Hello  Hello  Thasall ya gothello I thought youd be doin back handsprings man sixtynine aint chumpchange

No . no it’s not . . I’m exhausted.  I’ve been on the phone all day.

Birthdaysill do tha 
                     Yare sposed to letem go to voice message 

Man, you know how many people I don’t hear from until its my birthday? 
Most 
Yeah, an I really wanna talk to ‘em. It’s exhausting, but really fuckin’ nice. 
                                                                               I pickedup for you.

Yadid but we talk oncetwice three times a month

Yeah.

I might have been offended ifya hadnt

You . . offended?  Thatd be a cold day in Hell.

   Yah  Theres tha

Hey!

Heywha

I was wished this today.

All ears

Im sixtynin . .
. . Im jealous

Yeah baby! 
             They wished me a yinyang year.

Ohshit yah

Yeah . . I’m a dopehad no idea what he was talking about. The Chinese character? he asked. Duh.

Might mean yare losin it
I ain’t Chinese. 
                I got it. Sixtynine looks yinyang. 
It do 
     I like how yinyang year flows

Phonaesthetics.

Yah

I wouldn’t know what phonaesthetics is if it wasn’t for you.

Too much credit  Eventually likely

No.
    Only you.

Ill take it

You’re welcome.

Thank you   

1555,  Sunday,  9  4. 23

8.4.23

freeforming


                                                                               freeforming 
transformed into writing

   reading rabidRepublicans freakreligion freakmisogynists  wantin fetus bosses
mifepristone 
             PrestO ChangeO  a wave of a magicians wane 


freeforming from the hip

FETUS

FEEtus

FOEtus 
         Bosstus  Et tu Brutus 

   conception  an ova becomes a zygoat  is a person?NAH

they who arent havin the baby or will have to care for it or provide for it coud give two shits for the egg carton 
                                                                                                            it aint insensate cardboard baby 
                  Unlike some

2229,  Twosday,  14  3. 23
449preferred,  Saturday,  8  4. 23