12.3.23


   there is a single distinct pleasure 
                                       when he drops his eye on a piece of paper his scribbled ideas frontnback an realises hes used them allhas taken their crude  disparate imaginings   an forgedrefined them lavished them with dialogue that propels them into existence 

anwho wha woudnt want to exist 

want To be 

   stuffed away clasped not realnot really until read an painting or distressing   minds

he used to keep the notes 
evidence he thought 
                      like the sexlove tha creates a child
but a child says it all

   he has two
                hes also had sex thats produced thousands of pieces
the experience doesnt matter not the positionwho dominated who 
   date day time religiously recorded 
                                       their births pregnancies   all undetermined until hes peels them from the page then they are vivifiedanimated by his attention  fingers

1514,  Sunday,  12  3. 23
pulled the body from a cairn an vitalise it


Where do you come up with this shit?

   Its not shit  naturally occurs to me The dearth you suffercompared to me if tha didnt happen if I quit dreaming  Id question the quality of my life going forward 

Their departure woud be tantamount to me shot into space disconnected silence  suspended in Void

Has it ever occurred to you you exist in a selective void 
                                                         Orrather  thinking more   Avoid
You fail to entertain an are you prefer  being entertained
Haha ahyes  an as yasay  You don wanna work tha hard 
                                                               he pitched that smarted 
You have a lot of nerve. 
None at all
            Frankly just calling ballsnstrikes youll note the sports analogy  as you prefer

combative You don’t know what you’re talking about.

   I don  Enlighten me 
                        Give me a solitary example of something similar to wha I just shared with you anya shit on

What?

Wha  Wha I just said
                       Donfuckin tell me I don remember The little yellow flower  Outside       
That?
Yahtha  exactly tha 
                     Sumptin similar out of your mouthGo 


You know I can’t, I don’t think like you.

Imagination isnt thinking It exists like fireballs streaking the sky striking a match  trippin an fallin on your face
   Arya truly devoid of imagination  Avoid it wrap yourself in wha science dictatesreason  dicktates  thas spelled
D I C K T A T E S  Dick  As in being a dick

You think offending me . .
. . Offending you NO
                      Ballsnstrikes baby You take offense I doubt it rather yare tryin to worm your way out of this without capitulatingwithout  acknowledging your avoid no space between the A and V  

Lemme say this  anya know how much I dislike it It is wha it is yare wha ya are I apologise tha yare bereft of imagination 
              Ground Control to Major Tom sitting in a tincan



he had come in from urinating outdoorshad urinated on a small yellow flower an as he did he imagined it in a shower singing gargling water  anthropomorphised it humoured himself 
                                                                      he didnt take any offence
had his share of golden showers

hed bet a million dollars his buddy hadnt 

   an he wasnt a betting man

1748,  Sunday  19  2. 23
1338,  Sunday,  12  3. 23
David Bowie  Space Oddity  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYYRH4apXDo


Little River Band 
                       notno to knock them  but Ladyreally    She made me think of things I never thought of neverthought  on their own
                                not to be confused withGawd please  Styxs Lady    You gave me all the love that I needed

Little River baffled him  incredulous

all the teenagerswomen hed been withhad loved were a joyous pheromonic phosphorescent taffy pull turned them inside out pulled them apart streeetched them long bunched them in ballstossed them licked his sticky fingers sucked out their bits stuck under his fingernails  he felt pinched tweaked sucked  didnt overlookmiss one crook or cranny 

   . . . I never thought of . . .  compared with  . . . all the love I needed . . .


maybe Little was ultimately descriptive
                                           little ardour 
women obsessed him

   a dog knows wha to do with a bone  a cat with a knitball of yarn

1451,  Sunday,  19  2. 23
1139,  Sunday DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME after the fact,  12  3. 23

11.3.23


talk of death made him uncomfortable 
                                        he didnt confront itskirted it found comfort not thinking of it 


Man ya really ought to give death its due Its life

It’s life? How do you figure?

Were born well die
                       Nobody gets out alive

I don’t like to think about that.

So much for an unexamined life  Wheres tha rigorous curiosity you claim

I'm rigorous about some things . .

. . Rigorous woudnt precludeexcise death 
                                            Next time someone asks yaoughta agree yare just curiosity  Kinda like your power naps  Theyre just naps 
                                 I think you think power  embellishes tha ya have to take a nap   he shook his head

They’re power na . .
. . Ofcourse they are  Yare takinem

disagreeing he shook his head 
                                   You want to tell me how we ended up here?
 

   You skirted our conversationthought ya think  yare clever
                                                                 I told you long ago to let tha go
I am clever . .
. . Yare not
              Rather yare terribly inconsistent If I acknowledge one please do not take it asif Im encouragin you  Im not
It was an inappropriate leap

I didn’t think so. 

No 
      Yadidnt But yadidnt think either

The bitterest 40s you ever held?

   Please Indefensible

Bitterest 40s?

Seguing from my family and friends who died at 40 to the size of womens breasts ya don find tha inordinate  odd  Inappropriate

If I did I wouldn’t have said.

Jesus  Yadidnt thinkshot from the hip  as I tellya 
                                                     I wish I didnt have to say  often 

I prefer not to talk about death . . 
. . Not an excuse

It’s not an excuse, it’s my rea . .
. . Its not  Shaddup 

   Don’t tell me to shut up . .
. . Ill hurt you

he threw his shoulder back  maybe emulating a fighting cock 
                                                                You’ll hurt me? 
Ive no doubt I am confident 
                               You havent my confidence  Please

his ruffled feathers fellsmoothed


Thasaid I woud agree 
                           40s Ive heldwrestled with  werent bitter

1414,  Sunday,  19  2. 23
1219,  Saturday,  11  3. 23


I was thinkingyaknow wha I was thinking

she laughedsaid I never know what you’re thinking. 
                                                        topping it with a sprig of throttled merriment
Ya bein facetious 

   Me? 
          Facetious?
she was too much fun one of many reasons why he loved her

Yawanna hear I can tellya later if ya rather  I wont forget

she rolled her eyes 
                    No you won’t. When was the last time you forgot? 

   I forget  he chuckled  
she chuckled 
                Let me ask, would it be better now or later?

Now Woud synch better with the outdoorsy conversation we were having

So . . . you must?

I really shoud

Should I ask?

Yaoughta 


she rattled her noggin side to side
                                     Awright.  Gee Joe, what were you thinking? 
I thought yad never ask
they laughedrattled their noggins cracked themselves up 
                                                               So camping awwayscarrying a knife a pocketknife

Yes. You bought me one.

Id like to buy you another

Another?  Something wrong with mine? It's a Swiss Army knife . . in addition to other knives . . 
. . An cutlery

And cutlery, yes.
                   Is there something wrong with mine? 
Its not complete

My Swiss Army is incomplete?

Yah

It’s got everything I need.

   No he shook his head

And this is what you were thinking?

Im an idea guy

So what’s the big idea Einstein?

Youll love it

   You’re dragging your feet. 

I am

Trying to raise suspense?

Am I

   No.  You’re beginning to . irritate me.

Then perfect

What’s perfect?

Im thinking contact the company recommend their knife includes a vibrator 
                                                                                 gave her a cold cleareyed sober fishlook
he didnt often catch her with her panties down
they were around her ankles 
hed have to wait out her torrent of laughterwipe her eyes clear of tears 
                                                                           ahhuh plugged her in the G-spot 
wasnt far from her funny bone

1406,  Sunday,  19  2. 23
1049,  Saturday,  11  3. 23


their exchange backnforth was briskrapid

he saw in her face she was uncomfortable thinking on her feetbut she brought on the subject an whenever someone said something he disagreed withunfortunately he would be rude interrupted them he apologised however he wasnt going tofor a nanosecond let them believe he agreed 
                                                       he wanted her to know she wasnt preaching to the choir
he didnt care how goodlookinhow bright she was

she was miffed

understandable

she became exasperated was losing her cool
                                               Stop! You want to stop please?
   How can I help 
You can shaddup. 
                    she was losing her shit
that said 
          losing it she still looked fantastic

You wanna hold that thought?

Arya kiddin me

   Kidding you?

Yah

What?

Yawanna hold tha thought

she looked perplexed
                      ofcourse shed be confused  he was coming out of the blue 
What?

How did you know I nicknamed my cock Thought

wait for it  wait for it   wait for it

thereBAM she grinned 
                                 an not to her chagrin 
Thought?

Yah Donya think his turn to grin  lasciviously  

Aren’t you something else.

I am 
     Happy ya noticed

1416,  Sunday,  19  2. 23
0959,  Saturday,  11  3. 23

10.3.23

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwSTe9uit48

the lyrics begin: 
                 “Welcome back, my friends/To the show that ever ends/We’re so glad you could attend!/Come inside! Come inside!/There behind a glass/Stands a real blade of grass/Be careful as you pass/Move along! Move along!/Come inside the show’s about to start/Guaranteed to blow your head apart/Rest assured you’ll get your money’s worth/The greatest show in Heaven, Hell, or Earth/You’ve got to see the show, it’s a dynamo/You’ve got to see the show . . .”                                                                                                                                Emerson, Lake and Palmer  Karn Evil 9  1st Impression, Part 2

   yah thats what he woke to in his head this morning

as the music howled 
barker cried
             he thought not that he ever forgets Trumpvirus  how many Americans has it taken
he wasnt gonna make anyone guess 
                                       1,148,391

      last he checked  12 January  1,128,330 

                                        20,061  in 57 days  or 351 Americans   A DAY      
terrible sacrifices  
                  also what occurred to him shortly thereafter  POSPOSS an since he couldnt stand acronyms hed share 
Point Of Sale Piece of Shit’s Scheme 
                                       deduce

after 7AM,  Reggaefriday,  10  3. 23

9.3.23


he was the last man on the planet

he hadnt had time to think about it was pitted survived instinctually  didnt think woe is me

   finally
           a placespace  for himself 


he was alone along time 
                             there was no point in striking hashmarks or diddling with what day it might be 


then oneday
               a blueeyed doe entered the glade he found and made home 

she was unafraid

he welcomed her

they struck a companionship

he believed it was based on them having the same colouredeyes

he didntcouldnt know what she believed

that they were familiar was sufficient

wordless communication the talk of lovers 
                                             he was grateful he learned that before the maelstrom
before the unforgiveness 
                         the ensuing violence  hotblood foam   his determinedunrelenting luck
 

   where had she been before she appeared
she may have been nowhere 

then became 


strange

unexpected 

   he was also grateful to learn unexpectedness

1340,  Sunday,  19  2. 23
1252,  Thursday,  9  3. 23


I did a doe read Ididadoe 
                                  phonaesthetics 
whas not to like 
a blueeyed doe
they spoke the same language

believe me he vowed Cross my heart hope to die stick a needle in my eye
                                                                             he recalled tha childhood pledge
never crossed anyone who took him into their confidence 
ixnay on the unsgay 
secret was secret 
                  not secreted like snickering slobber not like some who imagined they suddenlyheld leverage

  but he digressed 


Ididadoe is precious
    
1340,  Sunday,  19  2. 23
356preferred to 1556,  Thursday,  9  3. 23


I dreamt 


she was a witch

she shriekedSTOP or I’ll cut your hands off.

   I thought for a moment 
                           if whaever I was doingI didnt know wha had elicited such a threat whellthen Id keep doing wha I was doing 
                    every hill Ive encountered has been worth dying on so why the fuck woud I be different now
so I kept at 
            whaever it was 


I did wake

I woke

my hands still grew out of my wrists

did I falter

did she decline

   I did not know 
my dream cut out went dark 
                             something churnedI couldnt see black marbling on blackI couldnt see  
she was a witch 
I am mortal 
              perhaps Mortal is an underratedmisunderstood weapon

I woke with my hands

before 8AM, Day-between-Two-Ts,  8  3. 23
1136,  Thursday,  9  3. 23
Ginger Baker/Air Force  Early in the Morning  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJlSyapiV84 

8.3.23


Things people begin modestly 
                                 Some grow immodest  An still others grow obscene    Ive recognised tha  you 

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Im speakingin particular of stadiums an churches An speaking then of those who inhabit them

he cocked his head like a pigeon 
                                  I’m still not following you.

Whawoudyasay is a modest church How many pews wha capacity

I haven’t . . 
. . Stop 
        You grew up in California attended a Mission church  It was modest wasnt it

Yes, although as you likely know, it was built as the others were a long time ago.

Arya equating modest with when they were built

Ohyes . . I’d think so, wouldn’t you? 

   No
       Lets recognise cathedrals pyramids  Egyptian Mesoamerican Mayan Aztec

That’s different.

No  Theyre older
                   I woud described them obscene

Obscene. he let it rollround in his mouth 
                                        Isn’t that hars . . 
. . No accurate  Obscene   Indecent 
                                       As inequality today is obscene  Lets use tha to texturise obscene create a reference  I don want ya stuck wrangling obscene  akin to something sexual  It seems as timemodern time has progressed it aggregates becomes greedy cant be satisfied remain modest

he shrugged
             Supply and demand.
Greed 
      Aint nothing comparable to American capitalism its greed  Im simply pointing out tha it even affects religion  Those at the top dictate an consume more than who theyve been delegated to serve

   I don’t see it. 

Nah  Yare blind

1349,  Reggaefriday,  3  3. 23
1741,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  8  3. 23

A friend of mine once said . .  
. . Whos your friend

   They said I was . . 
. . Your friend who

Let me speak . . 
. . When you can say who this friend is 


I suspect this friend is no one is nothing  is you 
                                                 Yaoughta say I  I believe  I am the most persecuted person in the history of our country You don have a friend who has said that to youof you Its wha ya believe 
                                                                                              Such a victim Been victimised all your life Victimised when your daddy pulled your ass out of the fire time an time again

   An now ya say to CPAC  I am your retribution

Yare a boil on Americas ass tha needs to be lanced 

1147,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  8  3. 23

retribution  https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/mar/05/i-am-your-retribution-trump-rules-supreme-at-cpac-as-he-relaunches-bid-for-white-house

3.3.23


a buddy rang me

asked if I wanted to go to New York 
                                       Yahsure man  When

In a couple of hours, I’ll stop by pick you up. We’ll spend a day so pack a valise, a small bag, overnight.

Cool

Yeah, very cool. 
                 We’re going for Airplane at the Hotel Schuyler

   Jefferson

None other.

That was ’68 wha areya talking about

November 19 to be precise 
                            Got us a room there, 57 West 45th Street, New York 36, N.Y.

That hotels been razed

Has beenyah. But it’s there in ’68. 
                                    That’s where we’re going.

   Awright  Im in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rx_08cambjA

SEE YAS ‘ROUND day-between-two-Ts  8  3. 23 

1122,  Reggaefriday,  3  3. 23

he was incredulousHow tall are you

she smiledup at him and nodded 
How tall are you

she kept nodding beauteously 


How tall are you

49 inches.

   How tall

49 inches.

he should have been more concerned with how old she was 
                                                             fortunately of age 
she tore him up

1619,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  1  3. 23
1100, Reggaefriday,  3  3. 23

2.3.23


disadvantaged people born into it more frequently than others are born into fantastic entitlement and will not admit they were

   Whell
         When you learn you cant expect much in this life you woud look forward to a next an even perhaps wonder how ya messedup the prior one  or even others before it

Do you really believe that?

Its not a matter of wha I believe he leaned in towards him  An Ill go a step furthur
                                                                                      Whaya think you believe ya don know either

I can say . .
. . No you cant  Whereof Thereof  Wittgenstein 

   I can say . . 
. . Ignorantly You do not knowknow it to be fact or not true yare making an assumption Whereof one cannot speak thereof one must be silent

You can’t say what I know or don’t know.

Are you using absolutism either/or Yaoughta understandshoud know to choose is always to exclude some other possibility that one could have chosen
I know I don know  Either Or
                                Although I agree you can assume But you ought to say that rather than I can say Try to impose your know on me Aint happenin

I’m saying chances are we have one life and no others.

Which yare welcome to as others are welcome to their belief without your sneer  Or dare I say  your judgment 
Matthew chapter seven King James Bible lines one and two Judge not tha ye be judged and For with wha judgment ye judge ye shall be judged and with wha measure ye mete it shall be measured to you again 


You’re impossible to talk to.

Talk at impossible to talk at
                              It is not semantics splitting hairs parsing language One shoud be accurate precise an not shoot from the hipever  Think before you speak  Though you consistently do an I have no choiceabsolutely no choice other than to challenge you  

   I don’t challenge you when I can.

Please do

1451,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  1  3. 23
1319,  Thursday,  2  3. 23