I might not be the sharpest tool in the sh . .

. . WOUD  YA  STOP

                       How often do I got to tell ya to quit diminishing devaluing yourself  I miss how ya think thas appealing to women

I’m being honest. I believe modesty is appealing to . .

. . Selfconfidence more appealing

                                    Not as you keep putting out there  Im oldernot  I almost lost my balance fell on my faceNOT  dating yourself

                           Cuz yakeep that shit up an you will be dating yourself  taking you home after dinner an movie for a couple of stiff drinks then off to the bedroom  scented lubricantIm sure  smeared  to tug your cock

REAL MEN DON MASTURBATE

Yah they do

 

Are you done?

Im irritated  Yah

Let me finish.

Coup de grace

No.  he sneered

You know French

You don’t have to know French to know what that means.

Look at you  selfassured

                             How fuckin attractive

Thank you.

Youre welcome

                   Yawere saying

I was . . but you keep interrupting.

Excuse me

            Anfor future reference feeding you a line Wit  women dig that too   Theres no excuse for you

That’s good.

Try it on for sizeExcuse me

There’s no excuse for you.

Fuck came out of your mouth like it was born there

Thank you.

Youre welcome

                            Yawere saying

Ohyes, I was.

he doubleddownhard so not to roll his eyes

I was saying.

 

Tool shed

Tool shed?

    Im not the sharpest . .

. . YES. Got it.

Blow man so it doesnt escape ya

YES.

       I’m not the . .

. . NO

Right. NO.

            I just want to say that I understand what your bailiwick is.

I have a bailiwick

You do.

Sharper than me  Please

Your job is to efface cellar door as the most beautiful word it’s two . . word in the world.

Whellshit

           Ya got something there

Yes. Cute cunt is more beautiful, and all the other words you’ve coined to usurp cellar door despite Tolkien saying so.

Anwhas euphony fall under

I know this.

Ya do

I don’t know this.

Hint

No thanksplease tell me

Phonaesthet . . 

. . That’s it!  Aesthetics

    It is 

          Bailiwick   I like that  Thank you for granting me that

You’re welcome.

Now grant yourself equally  Be confident   Understand its sexy

Is it?

Don yawanna be sexy

I do.

Its sexy

not the sharpest tool grinned

1401,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

2034,  Sunday,  13  3. 22

That was harsh. she said

she would

she was kindwouldnt hurt a soul probably hadnt

                                                     maybe if she were born a boy but boysit occurred to him might not hurt a soul either

                   he wasnt that kind of boy he could see where that might be nicehe wasnt stupid it just wasnt in his madeup  he wasnt one who got along for the sake of getting along made nice 

always been confrontational

                               rubbed the wrong way he rasped back immediately 

no mistaking where he stood

Harsh I didnt say it to be harsh  I made an observation an stated it in simple determinate understandable words

What if it was said of you?

It wouldnt be

But what if it were?

It wouldnt

You’re imaginative, give it a momen . .

. . Excuse me thatd be a waste of time

    Yes. I know.

                  Thought I could bring you out.

Aint in me

she chuckled  even when she was upset with him she was goodnatured about it  but ofcourse shed be it was in her natureher character

You want me to apologeez

Apologise.

              I’d like if you did.

That would make you happy

It’d make me happy.

he liked to make her happy particularly after his words upset herit was usually his words when they chose not to talkwhen spending time together silently just being  well he couldnt begin to explain those conversations  the eyes had it

       Ill apologise. 

her mouth started to move

Ofcourse face to face  thats the point of being conFRONTational

                                                                     Nice smile babe

Thank you.

Things we do for love

Love? You’re in love? You say your not . .

. . Sshssh we don want him knowing

Him?! she laughed out louddidnt cover her mouth

 

he ran into him a couple days laterknew he would  frequented some of the same places

                                                                                             Lemme buy you a cup of coffee

he did

they sat

          I want to apologise apologise  he imagined her smiling that he didnt fall prey to his vernacular  that I said you hadnt the presence of an appliance I was rude  I apologise

That’s alright, I must admit however, in the immediate aftermath you got me wondering what appliance you were referring to.

A toaster

111PM preferred,  Sunday,  13  3. 22

10 cc  The Things We Do for Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgptvsHHYK4 

I’m Not in Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtBHfxU2wmc

     some people  several in particular to him   havent the presence of an appliance

fortunately he enjoyed the grace of awarenesshead on a swivel he sensed  presence   in spite of lackluster performances

                did he really believe  performancesNah he believed one either had chutzpah audacity or they did not

it was on the top shelf one of a plethora of options available to bring into life that existences-to-be gets to rummage among to choose from but much like in-life too gawddamn many choices inundate the yetplastic yetmalleable ETBs perhaps looking but not seeingYah  times short   he also supposed certain he didnt wannasaysouls souls had formed predilections prior to entering the shelves to make their selection baskets were all the same size

presence exists in varying degrees 

                                    some however carry theirs like a normal temperature or a decimalpoint above  others carry theirs like a temperapture they exuded presence personalityscented  freshbaked bread wildflower honey  an as sticky

         Irresistible

                     unfortunately that irresistibleness can also belong to a dark caustic personality

                                                                                                          anif one hadnt chose well from among the shelves while they were mist theyre drawn like miserable metal filings to such magnets repellent magnets

                  Granted he assessed them repellent  although he liked to thinkhe believed he had filled his basket wiselyappropriately for his brief stay

1047,  Sunday,  13  3. 22

he didnt cease to amaze him

                             an try as he may an he tried very hard he couldnt help himself from laughinghis hahahs organic deftly sidestepped or leapt over booby-traps tiger pits punji sticks maces he deployed to stop them

                                                                                                                had they been human they would have made awesome Rangers tunnel rats someone terribly successful if dislocated from him

he was a bit of an anchor

but his hahahs werent the issue

                                   him  he was

Again Im sorry you were saying

Why are you laughing at me?

laughing with him wasnt going to work he was laughing at him

                                                                    Because wha ya said was hilarious

What did I say?

Whad you say

                   I know whaya said You know whaya said

I do.

You do  An

I said I-U-D . .

. . Yadid

IUD isn’t funny.

No Serious business  a serious decision to deploy

                                                       unable to help himself he smirked

Yes.

       You’re smirking.

Im smirking he wished he had a lookingglass to look into to see what his smirk looked like he didnt think itd be so evident

         I am

Why?

Because you said IUD

So what of it?

I believe you meant to saycorrect me if Im wrong  plant a roadside IED

                                                                             An intrauterine device is not an improvised explosive device visuals going off in my headrunning in a loop are becoming more comedic with every pass freakingly cartoonish

            My tendencyas you know tends to be outrageousprone to hyperbole Anwhile I don need any help you gave me a huge shove in the back

1345,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

2120,  Saturday,  12  3. 22

 

      . . . triespasses to

Triespasses noNO . . trespasses, you’re mispronouncing it . . celery string stuck in your teeth?

Celery string sweet  look at you thinking outside the box spy who came in from the cold Sir Richard Burton

                                                                                                                 No  yahung on the word took it out of contex . .

. . You perplexed me . . triespasses . trespasses . . what did I miss?

The context I used it in

Context . . again, what did you say? 

Sayso sayso  I sayso   I said it takes several triespasses to hear and understand . . was referring to reggae the untrained ear

I dont like regga . .

. . Because you obviously have an untrained ear Yaseem to have difficult understand straight English too

I . .

. . Wouldnt say that

You’re going to complete my sentences?

I am   Aah am

                   You telegraph

Telegraph.

Better that than me knowing you too well . . Aah sweet mystery of life at last Ive found you Not  Mario Lanza don think he was knighted Arise Sir Lanza he acted out touching Marios shoulder with a sword Blew it might have had a pair

Sir Lancelot Sir Lanza  potent   

There you go, off on some ridiculous tangen . .

. . You know the song the Sirs

No.

Then tangentially tangently gently Ive made you awaremore informed less ignorant  despite our cumbersome abundance of ignorance

                           The more I learn the more ignorant I am

  

We’re off the beaten path.

We are

So what did you mean? Triespasses?

Slammed the words together like fusion not an accident Tries Passes  It takes several tries passes to hear and understand

Why didn’t you say that then?

I did

914,  Saturday,  12  3. 22

441preferred,  Saturday

E. S. T.  Definition of a Dog  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEMEjoCPRQQ 

Mario Lanza  Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqpQ7aVTBv0

Jamaican Lila Ike

                   sings You gotti gotti but you ever wah wah

he followedhe didnt think it was necessary someone have an ear to hear her lyrics were selfexplanatory all someone had to do was let the song flowwash over them  listen the cadence becomes evident

                                                                                        NO it takes several triespasses to hear and understand but isnt that what conversation is argument is debate is

                                                                                    is patience is listening  is hearing

he shared Gotti Gotti whenever he could

Stop, STOP.  I’m not into reggae.

Why

I’m not; I’m just not.

I prefer doubleIPAs to wine therefore Im not into wine no effervescence not the IBU bitterness I enjoy the alpha acids I enjoy the hops humulus lupulus phonaesthetic euphonious I enjoy

                                                                   Mywhy

Whas your why not

Simply a why knot you cant untie or extricateextract sub-tract yourself from

                                                                                You understand youre taking time with me

Not that I want to nor am I enjoying.

                                     I don’t even know how you listen to it, we grew up listening to music, sharing it . . you didn’t listen to it then . .

. . Tastes develop Mebbe Ive taken deeper draughts continued to explore Rap  HipHop . .

. . Not me.

Evidently not you Too ba . .

. . I’m missing out you’re going to say.

Don need to do I   Goes without mesaying

Me saying . . ME  SAYING . is how you say it.

Say so say so  yasayso

We’re getting nowhere.

We arent but we got this far Congrats

      Jesus!

Had nothing to do with it

JESUS.

1131,  Thursday,  10  3. 22

1103,  Saturday,  12  3. 22

Lila Ike  Gotti Gotti  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMGLak6wvWc

stressed ancestryYUP yet another phonaesthetic

                                                    how could it not be

then taking into account what it is

an awesome addition

What is it? 

hed been housing this cat for a while always on his tippytoes at the back of the room  the room being interiorly his skull   exteriorly orbiting at the feathery edgeamong others of the galaxy he was

                                                                                       he peered either in or out through the keyhole  he had a rep to maintain  a voyeur   with or without others

Smart guy Wha do ya think it isdon put your hands in your pockets Your brain aint a superficial freckle

What did you say again?

We generate a transcript I aint refreshing your memory

     Jesus.

             he sounded put out  if he kept it up hed put him outlights out  there were more where he came from

muthafucker had only to turn back a page

There.  Stressed ancestry.

Yah

Yah what?

Speculative theory

That a hint?

Got plenty of transcript to dig through if you wish rather than use your lazyif not capable  memory

I hate memory . .

. . Dislike I don hate

Excuse me, dislike memor . .

. . Because when yare forced to use yours it hurts

his head rocked backlike he took a shot on the jaw Yes it does . .how . . . nevermind.

   Smart

          Whaya rememberI know ya remember  only in the last day

Stressed ancestry, stressed ancestry, stressed ancestry . . . Aah.

Buying time

Aah am yes.

              I’ll get it. 

Can I get back to you?

Ya opened your mouthNo

Aah did.  Aahdid.

                    Stressed ancestry.  Come on . . . speculation . . 

Its epic

Epic?

Hint

     Im not horrible

There.

There

Epigenetic channels. Through epigenetic channels stress can come down a bloodline.

Yes

Affected by genotype but also phenotype.  You said Stress is a killer.

I did

 

My head hurts.

I imagine

1158,  ReggaeFriday,  11  3. 22

405preferred,  ReggaeFriday

Neil Young  Old Man  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gbRbrXialA

E. S. T.  Dodge the Dodo  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5r1Ygkk0KA 

Stress will kill ya throws some little switch inside an begins a cascade of shit that we cant get ahead of  Or likely weve been chasing if were products or should I say rather  offspring of stressed ancestry

                                                                                          Aint doin family any favours  likely weve already transmitted it to them

faintly he shook his head side to side What are you talking about?

Its speculative

                However the best scifi books I read were An some that I read as a kid in paperback   were there  nearly as they described

                           Weve if were real cases have downloaded stress to our kids

What are you . you’re full of shit. How would that work?

Through epigenetic channels affecting them by genotype but also phenotype

What the fuck are you talking about? no longer faintly shaking his head

Epigenetics  How behaviours and environmentsay toxic environments can cause changes that affect the way our genes work heritable phenotype changes

                                      Phenotype is the set of observable characteristics eye hair colour  height  characteristics of an individual resulting from the interaction of its genotype with the environment

                                                                                                       An genotype the genetic composition of an individual organism Not solely man

Crazy chainhuh

    Jesus.  But as you say . . speculative.  

Yes theoretical putative  generally considered reputed to be

                                                                No matter stress is a killer  Burns the candle on both ends

after 2PM,  Thursday,  10  3. 22

1223,  ReggaeFriday,  11  3. 22

Leviathan  Fucking Your Ghost in Chains of Ice  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0wAykmn8jw

Your self-extinction/ Suicide be thy name/ Horrors blind to the dove/ Shit on your blind and/ Feeble innocence/ Hovering over your false courage/ Ghost hope and spent charity/ Clinging to human frailty/ Forces grind into your dove/ A faith is lost you bring/ With your scriptures/ Hovering over your false courage/ Ghost hope and spent charity/ Clinging to human frailty/ Come visit me/ And when you kill yourself/ Come visit me/ Many spirits gather here.

Esbjorn Svensson Trio  In the Tale of her Eye  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd9-Z-zz6xA

one might have thought all these years later he would have quit asking

wasnt in his makeup

                        just quit asking what his family was reading

he didnt ask to prompt them to ask him

though usually he was reading some awesome shit that would be unlikely theyd pickup

which upset him

raised in the same house same parents same obstacles same opportunities

Whacha reading

Can’t say I’m reading anything at the momen . .

. . Great hed erupt so you have something in the queue

I didn’t say that . . eventually . likely . yeah . . . right now I’m catching up on some streaming series, been watching some sensational movies . . .

                               their voices would tail off 

                                                             they were concerned they inadvertently opened the door for him to reveal foreign films he was watching and would recommend

Whew ducked a bullet

                     Anyway, enough about me . . what you reading?

hed say Baldwin Coates poetry by Hughes  tossed some chum to make them rise Walt Whitman . .

. . I’ve heard of him.

Im reading a fascinating history of Africa called Born in Blacknes . .

. . Why would you do that?

Why Because the superior education the folks bragged we benefitted from wasnt

Wasn’t. sounded like a tire going flat

                                          Wasn’t . . according to you once you were beyond it and reading everything you wanted to read then but couldn’t in order to keep up with the curriculumI know you hate . . curriculum.

Artificial  Expedient

You hated it; why can’t you admit you hated it?

I dislike don hate

Good and evil.

Good and bad

Won’t admit evil either.

When Someone provides evidence for faith we can talk

                                                          I was saying Born in Blackness

Tell me you haven’t pricked Dad with that title.

I have not

           Yare my prick

silence is actually quite loud

Awright. Listening.

   Thank you

               In it two political scientists assert that the slave trade altered the cultural norms of the ethnic groups exposed to it Think Antebellum South The current South It made them less trusting I quote areas with low levels of trust have developed weaker institutions and their weaker institutions in turn have resulted in worse behavior and still lower levels of trust These societies remain trapped in an equilibrium of uncooperative behavior mistrust and inefficient institutions

So

     So I had to get that off my chest whether you care or not The rancid taint of slavery remains in walkingtalking bloodstreams to date

                         Hard to believe whitey still thinks himself herself superior

Once, just once, I'd wish you might call and we could talk about the weather . . without distraction.

Weather happens every day Pretty fucking myopic

                                                      Or  or   you don have to pick up

2207,  Thursday,  10  3. 22

0941,  ReggaeFriday,  11  3. 22

pg 327  Howard W. French  Born in Blackness: Africa, Africans, and the Making of the Modern World, 1471 to the Second World War

E.S.T. Esbjorn Svensson Trio  Elevation of Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWS-TgLDt38

puritan vs. puerile

                    adj. vs. hed do that  abbreviations arent acronymsdidnt like em

he stoppedput his pen down on top of his clipboard 

he looked up at nothing in particular

                                     frankly he saw nothing at allblindly hooked with two fingers the mughandle and took a sip of his black coffee

vision returned to his eyes like Fourth of July sparklers

he looked down

                   Yea  There  he scribbled it    Sowhadid he mean

above it he had printed Chamber of Commerce protection racket

                                                                   beneath Chamber was calculus slo-mo mind tacos arent that complex

             to their right in small letters Poaceae—ral cereal formerly?Gramineae  vowels strung like pearls fascinated him  actress Saoirse how the hell ya say that

 puritan

            puritan puritan   puritual

puritanical

puritcanonical

puritsatanical

                  puritanal

 vs. puerile

             riled  apparently so   childishly silly an trivial

HAhe laughed there was no vs. versus   verses

                                                    likely he meantthough he really couldnt be sure sometimes he was on autopilot automaticwriting  romanticwriting worked that way for him too wrote love letters in college for forlorn floormates pricks who were trying to keep their girlfriends at least to get laid one more time they shelled out five bucks apiece

        likely he meant puritan = puerile     

   likely

           but he wouldnt hold himself to that

he called to the barista Would you mind turning that up just until the end they did  Thank you

                                                                                                        Jefferson Airplane

                                                                                                           White Rabbit

531preferred,  Thursday,  20  1. 22

1106,  Thursday,  10  3. 22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnJM_jC7j_4 

eat your head  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RBwoUbvxx0 

Assassin aka Agent Sasco  Crazy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRI1z_6M7Ks

Listen man forget the brainthe memory pills forget the ED pills  remember our brain is the largest sex organ

his face agonisedtwisted up

   he thought Ouch

                    Mebbe I should speak only for myself

Yeah. Ifya would.

guy was hung like a horse but couldnt get no play

                                                         had no game

 0926,  Thursday,  10  3. 22