Lonely Days in his head woke him    he couldnt go back to sleep

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nACo34VKEQ

“lonely days

‘lonely nights

Whar am ey

“without my wom(e)n?”

 

visiting

back Valentine’s Day

0809,  ReggaeFRiday,  11  2. 22

they were randyBULLSHIT   they were a raunchy couple

                                                           HOW RAUNCHY WERE THEY?

Glad ya asked Ill tell ya

                          If I hadnt been too stoned to leave their place I never would have heard  I thought theyd remember I passed out and was lying on their bedroom floor at the foot of their bed where I think I remember they dragged me  I remember so no one would step on me kick me in the head trip over me  or possibly molest me while I was unconscious   everyone loves to molest an unconscious personRIIGHT

                                                                                 particularly at a party

                                                                                                        thats why people throw partieswhy people go to them

that said he couldnt say how many times he played Father the priest  absolving women he had been with of their carnal passions

Wha happened last night?

You don remember  he did  he was like a kid on playground equipment on every apparatus then made up a few more rides

No . . no . I don’t remember anything.

Nothing

No. Nothing.  Not a thing.

My child he wanted to say   Nothing happened

Cool. I think I blacked out.

they were very  pliant   relaxed

 

lights were off

a lava lamp belched

he wondered where he was

      Ah   he smelled her Clove cigarettes kreteks  he preferred kreteks like pretzels kinda similar nahnobody agreed with him probably why he preferred getting loaded and rappeling deep into his mind  nobody wanted to keep up with him because nobody could spin spider thread as he did which kept him from falling awaydying  he was always tethered   people werent unable to see or imagine it

                                                                he was a magician a fucking magi

his pants were still buttoned

cool

she coughed 

definitely her rattle 

he knew where he was

he fucked her in their bed

                          clandestinely  she was the type who liked to sweeten the poteverything had to be dramatic his word was draumatic trauma influenced   He finds out he’ll beat the shit out of us.   Ohfuckya Ya sleep around he sleeps around aint a secret If he were to come after me Id damage him now shaddup he flipped her onto her belly and fucked her doggiestyle

Ah  Good  he was grounded

they rustled around above him

they were too fucked up to fuck

Say she said  Can you smell cum on my breath?

sniff sniff

          Can’t say I’m too wasted.  You . . can you smell pussy on my face?

sniff sniff

         Nah . me neither . too high.

the lava lamp belched 

he was in a good place  tentatively

                                              something heavy ran across his mind left footprints  he was going to chase down whoeverwhatever it was

                                Hey asshole  didnt see me

he blacked out

2149,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  9  2. 22

Zappa  Dinah-Moe Humm  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEtyYNFOIew

 

   breastfeast 

               was kinda whimsical  kinda a stumbling in out an aboot a path tack which levied demanded crazy unexpected results Whodve thought  he hadnt

                                                 Maybe like radioactive man like Bikini Enewetak Atolls no more atolls atall

utterly invisible to the naked eye a benign virus spreading ahead around me FUCKme man Im dead center

Im the bullseye

                 It emanates from me

Don’t ya think yaoughta take a bow?         

A bow

        I should I should as a matter matter thas funny  as a matter of fact I will I believe I will he almost hurt his backwent a bit too deep

he was leaving a shopping center toting a canvas bag of groceries over his shoulderhad to shift it a couplethree times so it rode right and was readying to open a book to read as he walked home

I saw.

Thank you for being observant

with book in hand opened he threw his eyes up to take in the lay of the land people if there were any obstacles hed have to sidestep as he read

                              to his right she stepped out of the doorway onto the porch behind her boyfriend  Hermanos Taqueria he only knew that because a friend recommended it The best Barbacoa tacos you'll find in the valley.

stepping out wasnt correct or appropriate

                                             she  floated  out

it was hard not to eyeball her

before he could drop his eye she looked up they made eyes

caught he smilednodded

she blushed noddedsmiled in return 

she was stunninghad to know young twenty cappuccinocoloured skin wearing a light ochre knit sweater split little lower than middlebreast loosely laced with an ochre thong that accentuated scarcelybound flattered her ample breasts

none of this was lost on her boyfriend 

he doubledback took her by the elbow

                                         she seemed startled by the unexpectedness and stepping forward onto the break where a ramp descended to the street she stumbled

                                                     their eyes still engageddistracted perhaps attracted

                                                                                                                     she stumbled towards the streether boyfriend lost his hold but she was able to rear back in time saving her faceturning it left to avoid striking a four by four post that supported a slanted tile roof which provided a porch for outdoor dining

                                                                                                            she did however bump it with her chest her right breast to one side her left to the other which deliciously isolated and verily ascribed their largeness as the lucky post was embracedengulfed between them

this was the third scoop on top the cone that began in Produce a child pulled his mothers blouse open a random wardrobe failure as another woman was unloading her grocery cart she clutched to close her top Ohmy, excuse me, I’m grateful only you saw.   No excuse necessary Im grateful

                                                              she blushed wildly and giggled

afternoon delight,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  2  2. 22

1212,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  9  2. 22

John Coltrane Quartet  Out of This World  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ9Y0oS0lyo

I got an idea. she said

About time. he said

he said things like that

usually he saved his contempt for when people were around so he could make them laugh uncomfortably  but they laughed nevertheless   most of their friends were his

he thought he was clever

Your thought, what’s your thought? his tone was condescending

Sorry . . . was thinking of something other . .

. . You can hold two thoughts at once, will wonders ever cease?

she sniff  she chuckled

                           I can, an I also believe I can cease . one wonder . . right before your very eyes.

A magician, where’s this talent been all this time?

that smarted

              All this time, all this time? It feels long . doesn’t it?  How long does it feel to you?

  What?

           uncharacteristical  usually his mouth forged links dense long chainsconvoluted gnarly chains of words

often she wondered when he breathed between them

                                                         What? I asked.

Time.

         How long has it felt to you?

What . . what feels long to me?

I said time . let me . . . qualify . .

. . You’re going to qualify . for me.

Apparently I'll have to . . I thought it’d be more . obvious.

Qualify.  I’m confident I can follow.

Good. I depend on your confidence.

his eyes went sideways

she didnt talk to him like that

My idea . . time . time long past due . . . I’m calling us quits; as you’re fond of saying, Fini!

his jaw went hard

                    You . . you can’t call us quits, we’re we and as we, us, we have to . .

. . Concur? now she was being clever

If you would, yes, I would have to concur . .

. . In order for us to call to quits.

In order of us to call it quits. 

one last mocking she told him too many times not to mock her

                                                                  Actually that’s not true. I quit. Time, my answer for time, is long past due I’m . . . long  past  due.  I’m exhausted, take your show out on the road an see how it plays elsewhere.

So . I should leave, I should leave our plac . .

. . Doesn’t matter to me. You. Me.

                                    Fini!

Quit with tha . .

. . Irritating, isn’t it?

You’re being ridiculous.

she held up her hands

                        I surrender. Tell people whatever you like, you’re off the hook. I’m gonna say if asked, I don’t expect I will, but if I’m asked . . I’m saying I took our relationship to the edge of the dump, shot it in the head, rolled it downhill to let it commune, be chummy, with all other things inert.

Mr. Loquacious was tonguetied.

Christ, bout time. she thought

2127,  ReggaeFriday,  4  2. 22

420 preferred,  Twosday,  8  2. 22

it was lateshould have washed the dishes earlier when he finished dinner 

he usually did

              routine as when he woke in the morningmade his bed  which irritated almost every woman he slept with

when he slept at their places he didnt dare make their beds when they left the bedroom to shower no way in hell he was missing showeringpurely mercenary or to make coffee breakfast

                                                                 Did Not Dare

inevitably  back in bed   both trying to catch their breathstheir heads on his shoulder or his head on their thighs theyd say like a page taken from a playbook You see why I don’t make my bed? I don’t want to make it twice.

he made his bed twice

maybe women are smarter than men

well no way in hell he was going to wake up to dishesFUCK

                                                                he washed them

finished he went to step away from the sink to dry his hands and saw a blue dribble and gob of OXY POWER Brillo BASICS dishsoap on the wall of the sink in his haste washing over and over again a stubborn casserole dish he missed the sponge

              Hmm he went to wipe it away but stoppedhe remembered   he was impressed . again 

 

she was in the kitchen

she refused to let him help her with the dishes

I brought the serving dishesthe dishes silverware utensils in . .

. . No.

At least let me dr . .

. . No.

      You worked all day. Sit down, relax, light a candle, play some music, I’ll be out in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.

   a lamb tail

               Oh  it was on her

he did light candles

he did put an album on the phonograph

he played it loud enough so she could hear  Is that good babe   Yes, I can hear it.   Good

he could hear her washing dishes

he came up behind her   What are you doing in here?   Nothing  he nuzzled her neckbegan lifting her skirt   THAT doesn’t feel like nothing.   Nothing  he peeled her panties slowly off her hips to her thighs   Baby, that doesn’t feel like nothing.   he bit her ear Nothing he whispered then squattingrubbing his chest down her backher fanny he slipped her panties to her ankles she lifted one foot then the other   Doesn’t feel like . . nothing . baby.  he stood  wearing athletic shorts he slipped them to one side slipped her skirt up to her waist held it in one hand bunched before her belly with the other he ran the underside of his erection side to side across her fanny  then ran it up and down at the inside of her thighs   I lied its something   Yes. her feet drifted backdrifted sideways she leaned forward on the sink Yes. her breath quickening Something.  

they fucked slowly  gentlygently   then deeper     thrusting   then ruttingbreathless then suddenlyOhno  Out no contraceptive.   Awman  he drew himself out stepped sidewaysjust off her hip she turnedgrasped his cock with a warm soapy hand yanked him wideeyed grinningdimples he grabbed her breast tweaked her nipple she yanked harder he kissed her hard she mashed her lips to his she yanked vigorously he gasped gaspedgasped  grooaned into her mouth

       laughing deliciously she went to her knees took him in her mouth he staggeredturned she had him his hands went to the countertop his knees tried to bucklelegs shook she had him his mind flipped flippedflopped she had him

                 Awawgawd awh aw  she stood quickly kissed him wickedlydeeply when they broke off the kiss she laughed Ya got a little something on your chin.   laughed again  That was some nothing, love.

                                                                                                         turning to the sink she laughed even harder

Wha

she pointed

a dribble and a gob on the pale green linoleum backsplash

 

not Brillo blue

2133,  ReggaeFriday,  4  2. 22

1251,  Twosday,  8  2. 22

McCoy Tyner Trio  Inner Glimpse  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ecla2CpNW1o

odd   waiting for the bus  he didnt know the bus allowed dogs onboard

                                                                             Wha do you call him

Max.

For maximum he thought it was funny

No. he rolled his eyesdidnt try to hide that he did  No. Maximillian.

Pretty big name for such a small dog

He came with the name.

I betcha tell everyone that kinda like a woman with a Polish last name and when asked if shes Polish says No my husband is Been hiding behind that for yearsthat an their taste for headcheese No its for my husband

                                                                                                            he didnt blink his rheumy pale blue eyes  Came with the name

Yes. 

Whas his breed

He’s Cairn terrier. They’re ratters.

                                    he thought he could have said theyre good with childrenwere good companions went right at the jugular 

                    The breed is from Scotland.

Theres no Scots in ScotlandCHRIST meant to say cats 

                                                         he cleared his throat  Theres no cats in Scotland scat also crossed his mind but he decided keep his trap shut the old man seemed humourlesswhich was unfortunate as driedup as he was hed be a perfect standup comedian play the bitter driedup old man shtick spotlight on him forming crazy dark shadows constantly at play across his weathered features 

                                                               I meant to say cats 

I imagine there are. Maybe dogs are better ratters.

he shrugged Cats are better mousers

         nothing

 met by blurry blue eyes

                            Max purebred

No.

so taciturn like pulling teeth

                              Not purebred  Whas Maxs mix

Max is Cairn terrier and . . .  Ohmygawd lights went on in his eyes LIFE ON THE PLANET   Cairn terrier and . . . dog

I knew it I knew it he thought  Hed be worth the price of admission

1031,  Saturday,  5  2. 22

1040,  Twosday,  8  2. 22

caught his toetripped down memory lane it was different than Alices rabbit hole 

                                                                                           eighteen April twothousandeighteen

found All-You-Can-Eat breastfeast

                                   YES it was his he said it wrote it wasnt taking it backNO not taking it back

when he went on trips he kept an eye out for two

to date he only found All-You-Can-Eat breakfast joints or places his daughterwhen she was little called buff-its which possibly werent far off the beaten path at a breastfeast the women would have to be in the buff to the waist at least ORmaybe starched white blouses bone buttons unbuttoned pulled wide their fistsknuckles at the side of their breasts keeping them corralled in check while he gobbled kissed lapped sucked

                                                                            he might assume theyd provide bibs but being the boy scout he was hed have backups

Say smartie, why don’t you go to Nevada?

Nevada

Don’t you think?

Nevada  Ya mean 39 degrees 32 minutes 40.78 seconds north 119 degrees 22 minutes 22.43 seconds west

Huh?

      What’s that all aboutwhat’s with all the numbers?

Well since you were being cheeky those are the coordinates for the Mustang Ranch One you might have been suggesting correct

                   Besides  gotta sing out numbersfigures tout the classic 36-24-36  Would be unseemly if I didnt wouldntya agree

Oh. Gotcha.

Agree

Ohyes, I wasn’t thinking.

Think Stay up on your toes otherwise ya might trip stub them

                                                                  I know of what I speak

1224,  Monday,  7  2. 22

wordswoke roused him this morning

                                            words    slick  inspired  words

paella  pariah

year  yesteryear

                  Tell me a fadograph of yesteryear etymologically Shush  a fadedphotograph from an album     

decide  deicide

sheol  shades  hades

    melancolores black darkcolored  melancholies

atrahora 

        Yare wrong bub Latin  atra deadly terrible grisly  hora plural hores hours   terrible hours

brushed on hardsavagely  devil  diabo Oo  o satanas   O podre diabo

                                                                                     mas que porra WTF

he didnt need this shit mocking himworrying his early morning head

                                                                       mussing his hair                  

they rapped on his skull from inside Excuse me, excuse me . . EXCUSE ME

just wouldnt play nice

                      wouldnt concede make soft ombromanie make handshadows on its concave walls

  instead

           they jammedcrammed his cranium  ached its arched bones fomented his frontal sparred with his parietel ogled his occipital tiffed his temporal pecked at his sphenoid wouldnt etch birds butterflies bunnies reindeer giraffes lions and tigers and bearsOhmy  on his ethoid

                                                        Porky Pig stutters Tha – Th – Th . . That’s all folks!

   then appeared   decent  descent

                                       descent in  to   madness   decent in  to   madness  involuntarily he shook his head stirred his hypnopompia  taking-its-sweet-ass-time longtime  waking    then the words failingscattered dissipating were replaced by a pitch black slate

then on it paleblue squares maybe ten across seven rowsmaybe whatever it took to fill the field on the back of his eyelids

        then paleblue questionmarks appeared one at a time inside the boxes right to left next row left to right next right to left and on an on until all the boxes were filled

   then 

            a vibration a soft jiggling   pleasant  

then randomly  questionmarks faded and were replaced by dullthenrising to rubyred checkmarks

                                                                                                     perhapsperhaps a third of the questionmarks were replaced

                                           that hung in his vision until he truly woke opened his eyes

 

he remembered the words

9ish,  Sunday,  6  2. 22

1019,  Monday,  7  2. 22

John Coltrane Quartet  Soul Eyes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoYAGNLqFwg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9434BoGkNQ

blood libel 

             just when he thought it might be safe to go into the watermight have a gripgrasp a handle on things  had become reliable

                     blood libel

how thick he must be

                        had never heard of it before

blood libel a centuries-old Arya fuckin kiddin me Centuries evidently some people were thicker than he a centuries-old false allegation that Jews murder Christians a big one Jewish deicide  Jesus especially Christian children especially never some old codger whod be easier to catch than a wily Gumby child to use their blood for ritual purposesFOR EXAMPLE shesh an ingredient in baking Passover matzah or hamantaschen looked German   Aah  name derived from two German words  mohn  poppy seed  taschen pockets mohntaschen popular German pastry dating from medieval times always spelled it medevil as a kid hamantaschen sweet pastries eaten on the holiday of Purim

                                                                              ritual purposes

ritual gnawed him  Body of Christ Blood of Christ transubstantiation

                                                                          religious or solemn ceremony never could tolerate their whiff those who were followers took themselves too seriously 

                                                                      serious sheep could be herded by snarling dogs

 

she walked into the kitchenhe looked up wearing a white ribbed dago-T of his  paleblue tan striped panties 

she yawned grunted as she stretched

                                          smiled fuckin dimples  Man  Coffee smells good, baby.              

he got up from the Sixties yellow linoleum kitchen set he had from his parents took her in his arms hers were still above her head  kissed her gently

                                  Could I pour you a cup

sleepily yet Please.

                      making her way to a chair she looked at the magazine he was reading spineup open on top of scribbled paper a red ink ballpoint pen laid above them

                                                            Whacha reading writing?

he splashed cream into her cup

                                  Ya don wanna knowtoo early Tell you later when we shower

                he loved showering with her

                                                among other things they had swell conversations 

1014,  Sunday,  6  2. 22

Anti-Defamation League (ADL – disliked acronyms)  https://www.adl.org/education/resources/glossary-terms/blood-libel

https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/who-killed-jesus/