when he left the library he took the more remote concrete staircase down to the road rather than the ramped sidewalk that paralleled the drive up

he could count the times on one hand over twothree times every week over years that he encountered anyone usually just their refuse cant seem to take their trash with themtake it down to the bottom of the steps where the city maintained a trash can  across the street from it was the bus stop

                                                        HOW FUCKIN LAZY

                                                                              taking a right to the stairway off the sidewalk that ranround the library he saw a large man standing with his back to him  he was unkempt caught his wild mane under a darkblue baseball cap a shaggy beard curling off the side of his face wore dusky mustard overalls could make out the frayed collar of a plaid flannel its colour not matching the overalls

walking upon him in a loud voice he said COMIN UP ON YOUR LEFT

unkempt tilted his head backheard him stepped left into his way

ON YOUR LEFT

unkempt didnt turn he stepped right laughedhumoured like a bear with his nose in a honey tree hollow Sometimes I forget my left from my right.

                             Excuse me.

No problem Im lefthanded write a lot so immediately know my left from my right

I don’t write, mebbe why I can't remember.

Understand

                  passing him Have a fine day

unkempt kept turning rightkept his back to him You too.

no way he blushed not knowing his left from his right

                                                        he avoided his eye avoided being recognition

probably a good thing

                      ifhe looked anything like he smelled he didnt want to see

approximately 1400,  Twosday,  25  1. 22

Jethro Tull  Aqualung  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0jMPI_pUec 

he made a mess all the way into the urgent care clinic

                                                       rather too he had made a mess over the two blocks he walked to get there

at the window he told the girl he was bleeding unable to staunch it as he walked  he bled all over her lobby 

                                                                                                                  he turned from her and went into the toilet grabbed a gout of paper towels sat on the pot elevated his legheel on top the toilet paper dispenser and applied pressure

thats where he waited

                        had it happened while he was nearer home he would have gone there and managed 

when they entered to apprise him it was his turn he shagged them out

                                                                          FerChristssake get me a wheelchair wha the hell ya thinking exactly why he was against urgent care facilities moneygougers

finally they got him into an examination room

the doctor was waitingGOOD  they deserve to wait too turn the tables on them

he let loose of his gripsat back in the wheel chair let the bluelatex gloved man work

he had had a good grip on the wound

                                        when the wrap of brown paper towels were removed his pant leg cut up to above his knee Cut by the seam Doc I intended to sewem up it appeared he arrested the bleeding to an ooze

You walked here? gotta love a bedside manner Can you tell me what happened?

I can Look for glass in it

the doctor startledalmost pushed back on his roller chair Glass?

Glass

       I was walking in the street no sidewalks on that stretch of road walkingkicking up dried leaves downed by the storm a week back saw something tumbling off the shoulder I thought cellophane a discarded wrapper until it veered towards me

             I was attacked by a glass spider when it went through a ray of sun it was dazzlingthrew off rainbowed light  dispersion  yaknow It struck I smashed it used my book like a paddle It shattered

                                                                                               Theres glass in the wound

I . . I . I don’t know what to say, that’s a fantastic stor . .

. . Doc a fantastic fact

                        Treat the leg please

he had to probe anaesthetised the area behind his anklesup his calf used a L E D magnifying examination lamp

when he concluded You must have swatted the . ah . er . . spider . just right, most of the punctures were clean. It must have been larg . .

. . It was a huge

                 When I get out of here Im doubling back to see what I can find I sidestepped out into the street to avoid it I hope traffic didnt crush it to bits  Ill see

You’ll excuse me, I’d like to see too.

You saw what you removed Yare welcome to a portion but Id want the remainder Ill sign for it if I request you must comply  I know how this works

                                   Anif I find something worthwhile Ill be happy to return anlet you see  Fingers crossed

Thanks for your help today

his leg felt queer when he stood  he chuckled

What? asked the doctor

Very Kafka Metamorphosis Or Stoker Dracula  I might not be myself tomorrow morning

                                                                                                Sure you want me to return

Jesus, Joe.

He did  Jesus

approximately 1400,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  19  1. 22

1232,  Twosday,  25  1. 22

he liked quotesloved quotes he loved how they pointed fingersloved how as easily they could flip a bird

                                                                                                               he supposed one could point with a middle finger however its defiance would be tempered when you finger Fuck you you want it to say FUCK YOU 

loved quotes

for example

             “What the Nazis ‘found exciting about the (white) American model – against race-mixing – didn’t involve just eugenics,’ observes James Q. Whitman, a professor at Yale Law School and the author of Hitler’s American Model: The United States and the Making of Nazi Race Law (2017). ‘It also involved the systematic degradation of Jim Crow, of American deprivation of basic rights of citizenship like voting.’”

he also lived for “the words” quotes for example

                                                    George Carlins 1972 Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television they are in order “‘shit’, ‘piss’, ‘fuck’, ‘cunt’, ‘cocksucker’, ‘motherfucker’, and ‘tits’” ofcourse to be remembered Carlin was a comedian

                  David Lane a white supremacist in the 1990s claimed a “fourteen word” manifesto “We must secure the existence of our people and the future for white children.”

with all his finger--nails he could claw raw historical (National) amnesia – “. . . the excision of the memory how the seed of racism in American blossomed into the Third Reich . . .”

he loved quotes he thought them jim--dandy

                                                 so when people were uncomfortable when he talked of the equivalence between Hitlers Nazi Germany and todays white Republican Party hed cite historical references 

seemed awfully fucking simple to him

                                         if an equation is 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 9  no one can come along and say (dead air preceding) . . . 1 + 1 + 1 = 9                                                                                                                                                                                  without the six prior integers DUH its impossible to arrive at 9 where we are  they cannot be ignored

he was questioned once actually often  You know what your problem is?  he loved it when people told him what his problem was  No  Wha   Your problem is you’re living in the past, you remember too much, you need to live in the Here and Now.

close to 1400,  Monday,  24  1. 22

The Cruelty Is the Point: The Past, Present, and Future of Trump’s America  Adam Serwer (2021)          

he didnt like suits or suitsmade no bones about it

                                                    frankly his demeanor accompanying his words could easily be described as rancor

Colour Me Rancor Face

                         like Johns Razor Face though not necessarily anyones old friend

he infrequently made friend was fond of acquaintancesmaking acquaintances they wouldnt take up his time he wouldnt let them

You don’t like suits.

Not either

Not either . . you confuse me; either?

Yes 

I’ll need more than yes.

Not ifya think about it if you quiet your confusion

                                                    Ya can do that Take a breath Whawould I call a suit

she knitted her brow

                       little could diminish her attractiveness her countenance tended darkly her expression quietly malevolent  she put people offthey thought she didnt like them  they were wrong  she didnt think of them

they were cut of the same clothtwo peas in a pod

Whawould I call a suit

Youd call a suit a suit, a suit of clothes.

Yes

An . . . an you’d call . . aaw, a stuffed suit . someone who dare tried to lord over youNOT happening.

Dig your enthusiasm  I knew you knewnever had a doubt in my mind

                                                                          Why were friends

Why I’m having an affair with a friend.

Yes we are

               the only friend he would

2146,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  12  1. 22

dreamed affair with a friend 0800,  Monday,  24  1. 22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udGvU-y2xgQ

Imagine           

          Stardom

Sodom

     sodomised Stardumb  Donforget Gomorrah 

                                                     No  GO GO GO MORON

Gods anger was provoked by sin a thinskinned old coot anfor that He devastated the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah

O kind compassionate loving God

    he wasnt a fan

                    Hell Lots wife was warned not to look back she did ofcourse she did she was curious  they hadnt the proverb Curiosity killed the cat cats werent pets then  He turned her into a pillar of salt

speaking for himself he wouldnt have looked back though if it were Medusa hed toss her an eyeball

                                                                                                         Ohmygoodness, you’re hard as rock.

in an Elvis drawl Thanya thanya Thanya very much

Nonsense is liberating

                        though it really bugged him that the Bible hasnt a name for Lots wife  shes Lots wife   yet some Jews – they have a name for everything  like the Germans – call her Ado or Edith  Ado means agitation fuss frustration  Much Ado About Nothing   Shakespeare knocked it out of the park

he liked to think they thought alike  

He acted pretty severe when Ado/Edith threw a peek over her shoulder then the Crumb banished her from the Bible 

she was due billing 

Lots wife didnt cut it

                      Fer CHRISTSAKE Jews have seven seven   he believed seven names for God                                        

the classic YHWH

El

Eloah

Elohim ah him 

El Shaddai  shady

Ehyeh

Tzevaot

he was grateful they afforded her Ado or Edith

                                                   

Aah he was just plugging along seeking purpose  one should have purpose even if every once in a while its inane

such as now

               It helped him put one foot down after the other 

2226, Saturday,  22  1. 22 

919 preferred to 2119,  Sunday,  23  1. 22 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRsaxXrjk3w

         Well

                            he was found outhis bailiwick revealed

he wasnt inobvious

the elephant in the room

he had a hard-on about phonaesthetics cellar door

                                                    it was not the most beautiful sound of a combination of words in all history anhe could give a shit that J R R Tolkien said it he wasnt a linguist a cunning linguist but a philologist one who studies texts ancient texts  a lover of words

it was his chore to knock cellar door off its pedestal

                                                       he didnt want it broken it was a pleasant sound he just wanted Google search 173,000,000 results in (0.78 seconds) to populate cute cunt or rawawkwardness cellophane floor optic cup or even most recently rock a Mohawk ahead of it

he would keep plugging away until Tolkien and cohorts C S Lewis E A Poe it wasnt E A it was Edgar Allen who the night before he died cried out Reynolds Reynolds repeatedly a deathbed Rosebud  C F Kane it wasnt C F rather Charles Foster  THE Citizen Kane

                            keep plugging away until cellar door conceded its surfeit of acknowledgment 

even Mick Jagger stepped aside and let Lisa Fischer own Gimme Shelter her haunting vocals rape, murder, it’s just a shot away, a shot away

                          give an upancoming challenger a shot at the title rather than ignore an refuse them as they rap at your cellar door

1401,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

0229,  Sunday,  23  1. 22

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/still-mysterious-death-edgar-allan-poe-180952936/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAWaJuT5YEM

Siamese shed

                 a new phonaesthetic for his list

where tha come from

from his eightynine year old barberthey got talking about pets Ya got a pet

I do, two cats inside and three ferals outdoor.

You like catshuh

No.

    The Siamese are my wife’s. She passed away last year and left them. The three outdoor were my neighbors. He moved to Oregon last year, left them, and they found me.

When my wife said she wanted the cats I said No.

She told me they didn’t shed, and got them anyways.

Might suppose the price we pay to keep our women happy

Perhaps.

          A week in I pointed at the carpet and asked my wife What’s that? What IS that?  She crept up on it slowly, watching it the whole way, then turned, relief painted across her face and said It’s shed.   Shit? I asked   Shed, shed, it’s shed.  Then realised I was playing with her.

Siamese shed

               Say that three times real quick  

0953,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

2152,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

he listened

they were pretty stoned

they werent talking

just taking shit in

he listened some more

                                 Are you humming Michelle  the Beatles Michelle my belle 

Hmmm?

Humming humming Michelle

Hmm . . . maybe.

You are

Imagine that.

Wha are you thinkin

Was thinking of a girl I dated when I was twentysixtwentyseven . . she, Michelle, was nineteentwenty. When she crosses my mind I think . . and thinking of her always makes me think of the song.

Ya sound bittersweet

Was, a bit . . it was . she was gorgeous.

Care to say

What the hell why not, I ain’t gonna remember I told you.

he would

           What happened

We dated through the winter, skied Tahoe, up to Utah, some great times, my God she was a minx. he sighed could tell he was running instant-replays Then early February she said she was going to Hawaii for three weeks, had an invitation.

I didn’t press.

The night she got back we picked up right where we left off; smoking hot.

Then the next day, shit, my privates were itchy.

had an idea

I went to a doctor. I had crabs.

                                An of course I had to let her know I may have infected her. I felt terrible, just awful, I knew she shared a bed with her sister, I didn’t want her entire family to get them.

                                                                                         I felt absolutely horrible.

Youah youahsleep with anyone while she was in Hawaii

No. he glared at him  I was dating her, I didn’t want to screw up a good thing.

     Ah

         absently not really he began humming Michelle my belle

Great song, isn't it?

                     an he began humming along with him

449 preferred to 1649,  Sunday,  16  1. 22

319 preferred to 1519,  ReggaeFriday,  21  1. 22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoBLi5eE-wY

 

       Yah yah he nodded  a lonesome sigh was in it

                                                           feeling like he lost it   was not romantic anymore

Whadid he feel

                               

                                  he felt joylaughed harder than most 

he was compassionateNO wrong empathetic    compassionate wasnt right

he had just heard The Hounds of Winterhadnt ever heard it before he wasnt a fan of Stingthough  he was a fan of lyrics

       “I walk through the day/My coat around my ears/I look for my companion/I have to dry my tears/It seems that she’s gone/Leaving me too soon/I’m as dark as December/I’m as cold as the Man in the Moon” 

        he heard

                 understood the code

he couldnt say he dried lovelorn or romantic tears since he was a young manbefore he married

it was possiblevery possible he reserved his tears for things inevitable grief sorrow   when they strike he was invested

he cant mustnt expend them for romance  things romantic

he had strong relationships  friendships

                                                                 NO  he wasnt romantic

1020,  ReggaeFriday,  21  1. 22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpuOp_Fiyr8

he eyeballed a feral cat  wee    perhaps enviously  Perhaps

                                                                        You do that  he should have waited to ask until after he tipped his beer

bringing his glass down swallowing

                                        Excuse me, what?

he pointed at wee  she continued

                                    That Can you do thatlick your spine

Lick my spine, why . . why would I want to do that?

Think how bendy youd bethink of all the yoga practitioners youd make envious  Perhaps

No.  I wouldn’t want to lick my spine.

Areya nuts

              Yare gonna dismiss it out of hand  without a thought

Without a thoughtyeah . . ya know why?

I don

Because you’ve given it a thought. I suspect you’ll share it with me so your head doesn’t explode.

It aint gonna to explode

From where I’m standing yaoughta see yourself . . it looks like it hurts. 

                                                                           So say.

Yare pretty confiden . .

. . Confident?  I’d bet money on it. 

                                     You know Im unswayed by absolutes. I’d absolutely bet.

    Fuck

          Yare not going to give it a teensy weensy thought

Any thoughts you ask me to consider are doomed to be teensy weensy in comparison to how you think, what you think . . where your mind's at and how it'll go.

                                           No.

Well yare more direct than I imagined

                                         But had you given yourself the time it took you to regurgitate that sentence  think about licking your spine  you might have surprised yourself.

Why should I surprise myself when you’re so capable and do?

he was having a lucid day couldnt argue with him

Your head’s swelling.

It is not

Say it.  Say what the ability to lick my spine would provide me.

You could blow yourself

402 p.m.,  Sunday,  16  1. 22

2237,  Thursday,  20  1. 22   

humankind  kind humans

                              Awwwell  that seemed a stretch he bobbed on the whitewash of humanUnkindness like loose flotsam despiteDESPITE his enthusiastic optimism

                                                           though to be honest sometimes he couldnt tell if his glass was half fullhalf empty because he couldnt see into it it was dull opaque probably unwashed he might have been cheated by a lousy bartender in his old neighbourhood he was used to generous pours

                                                                                  that occurred to him as a fellow diner couldnt restrain themselvesassumed everyone at their table believed in GodGAWD the diners wellspringhis fountainhead   He had provided for mankind humankind

eyes who knew him immediately flew to him their fingers crossed under the tablecloth which was dumb he paid for his meal too

          Whos this Gawd yare talking about

coweyed an unblinking stare   maybe that worked where they came from

                                                                               Who

The Father.

Father

         I recognise my father who inseminated my mother who birthed me There isnt a father farther than he for me

Certainly . .

. . Aww  lets couch nothing in certaintyshall we

                                                   I believe in the natural human species  Humane human beings have no need of Gawd They are inherently good  Although they can be perverted trained like chimps if they didnt learn to rely on themselves or in the goodness of others if theyve been taughthave learned to be suspicious

not to be thwarted Certainly God has a plan for all those who believe in Him 

soitenly a favourite word Curly one of the Three Stooges used

                                                                 I have an equationya like equations Im being rhetoricalnot looking for an answer God to a natural human being equals Alien Likewise Alien equals God

                                                                                                      All Gods are Alien

They alienate create articles of faith which are unnecessary for rational reasonable human beings 

Everyone will please excuse me 

Im not staying for dessert

1209,  Sunday,  16  1. 22

1052,  Thursday,  20  1. 22

You’re guilty.

https://www.needtoimpeach.com/corruption/trump-fifth-amendment-michael-cohen/

https://www.salon.com/2022/01/19/eric-spent-six-hours-pleading-the-fifth-amendment-more-than-500-times_partner/

                     whas good for the goose is good for the gander  eh Former         

0905 p.m.,  Thursday,  20  1. 22

whenever he learned something he didnt know he told his girls  The more I learn the less I know always cracked them up

anwhen he learned something newhe couldnt help himself he had to share

he and his girlfriend were going on a hike

she stopped to pick him up

he walked down to the street so she didnt have to come up the long drive

getting in he leaned overtook her hand kissed her eagerly before strapping in

                                                                                 Good morning

Tasty kiss, love, good morningWhat’s up? she grinned like the Cheshire Cat

Wha are you grinning at

Grinning at you. What’s up?  Looks like you’re going to pop.

I look . .

. . Yes, that an that you’ve tipped your hand.

Tipped my hand

she laughed out loud  didnt cover her mouth

                                                 You’re somethingevery time you meet me on the street you got something brewing inside that wonderful head of yours.

Its that obvious

Stop it, I know you inside out.

I know you though cant say inside out.

Understandable, you’re not as deep as me.

Jesus

       she burst out laughing againJOYOUSLY he loved she didnt cover her mouth 

Whatcha got, baby?

Do ya know wha a swarm of butterflies is called

It’s called a swarm.

Yes it is  theres also another name for it

       she pausedsearched her mind

                                            Another name . . another name . . . no.

Whew  I thought you might knowyare smarter than me 

                                                            Its called a kaleidoscope  kaleidoscope isnt tha coolso damn appropriate attractive

It’s perfect, beautiful.

I was so excited to tell youfingers crossed you didnt know if for nothing other than seeing the thrill on your face Thrilled atop your humourous gorgeous laughterwhich I hadnt expected like a towering beautifullycoloured ice cream cone

Gimme the kaleidoscopecoloured scoops pleaseHA

You're something.  Well . . . that leads me to ask you.

Ask me ask me wha

What is collection of barflies called?

       his turn to lose his shit

                                 I don know wha 

I don’t either.

               Suppose we’ll have to work on that, babe, as we hike.

they got to foolin around on the hike

                                      slipped their minds

1203,  Sunday,  16  1. 22

1328,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  19  1. 22

a trouble of barflies