whenever he learned something he didnt know he told his girls  The more I learn the less I know always cracked them up

anwhen he learned something newhe couldnt help himself he had to share

he and his girlfriend were going on a hike

she stopped to pick him up

he walked down to the street so she didnt have to come up the long drive

getting in he leaned overtook her hand kissed her eagerly before strapping in

                                                                                 Good morning

Tasty kiss, love, good morningWhat’s up? she grinned like the Cheshire Cat

Wha are you grinning at

Grinning at you. What’s up?  Looks like you’re going to pop.

I look . .

. . Yes, that an that you’ve tipped your hand.

Tipped my hand

she laughed out loud  didnt cover her mouth

                                                 You’re somethingevery time you meet me on the street you got something brewing inside that wonderful head of yours.

Its that obvious

Stop it, I know you inside out.

I know you though cant say inside out.

Understandable, you’re not as deep as me.

Jesus

       she burst out laughing againJOYOUSLY he loved she didnt cover her mouth 

Whatcha got, baby?

Do ya know wha a swarm of butterflies is called

It’s called a swarm.

Yes it is  theres also another name for it

       she pausedsearched her mind

                                            Another name . . another name . . . no.

Whew  I thought you might knowyare smarter than me 

                                                            Its called a kaleidoscope  kaleidoscope isnt tha coolso damn appropriate attractive

It’s perfect, beautiful.

I was so excited to tell youfingers crossed you didnt know if for nothing other than seeing the thrill on your face Thrilled atop your humourous gorgeous laughterwhich I hadnt expected like a towering beautifullycoloured ice cream cone

Gimme the kaleidoscopecoloured scoops pleaseHA

You're something.  Well . . . that leads me to ask you.

Ask me ask me wha

What is collection of barflies called?

       his turn to lose his shit

                                 I don know wha 

I don’t either.

               Suppose we’ll have to work on that, babe, as we hike.

they got to foolin around on the hike

                                      slipped their minds

1203,  Sunday,  16  1. 22

1328,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  19  1. 22

a trouble of barflies

they always had candid conversationsprided themselves on honesty brutally honest in his case Max was gentle but that was because he tried to not hurt anyones feelings

You should be kinder.

Kinder gets ya wasted time

Wasted time?

Certainly things can be identifieddistilled to their discrete parts quickly agreedisagree  I cut to the chase more often than not people prefer to drag their feet  impatiently I cut to the quick end the kerfuffle

Kerfuffle. Haven’t heard that word in a long time. Sounds like a sweet dessert.

                                                                                   At least you recognise you’re impatient.

I become impatient when people drag their feet 

                                                  Otherwise I can be patient

                                                                             Youve seen that

I have.

Yes Ya don drag your feet

I do not, but then you usually bring me around . quickly . . present yourself . concisely; leave little wiggle room.

Thanks Max

You’re welcome.

                    So what have you heard from your girlfriend?

Radio silence

               Seems lots of women in my life have gone radio silent

Perhaps because you allo NO . no . . provide them room, their space.

Thats a no-brainer

I wouldn’t say that, I have trouble when people go silent on me.

Theyre working their way through things Why would we interrupt  That would be rude

I’m sure I could help.

If they wanted your help theyd ask

So how do you step back, restrain yourself?

Knock on woodI cant remember a time I felt compelled to restrain myself

                                                                            I believe no news is good news

No news is no news.

 Ouch

         I think you hurt my lone feeling

prefer 346 to 1546,  Sunday,  16  1. 22

1214,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  19  1. 22

Tam Tam Afrobeat  Mopti  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzLOxu6oRRc

he heard two words in the onelike an oozy amoeba a nanosecond before amoebas  Man yare gonna hafta enunciate better Often wha I hear isnt wha yare saying  Again please

Again? You’re lucky you get it the first time; maybe you should listen harder . .

. . Or maybe Ive been listening better than ten minutes

                                                         Ya can be longwinded muthafucker he heldup a finger to pause him Nope  Undeniable  Particularly in light of your everpresent If I donsay you Ill forget it. Insisting itll go off an youll not be able to recover it

                   Yare turn to listen Answer the question since the word just wormed out of your mouth

                                                                                                             Canya do that                                        

I’m sure I can.

Thank you Now did yasay mode   or mood

Which makes sense within the confinesthe context I was saying?

Either would

              Thats why Im asking

he searched his thoughts  Okay, give you that.  I said mode; you're lucky.

Don I know it  Thank you

                             I asked because immediately I thought Id rather find a mode on a woman  than a mood

Christ . . . that borders on profound.

Yare so full of shit

1356,  Sunday,  16  1. 22

1558,  Twosday,  18  1. 22

Newen AfroBeat  Caminante (wayfarer)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jziKrPJUzLo

walking back out onto the front porchreturning to his beer I think I just suffered an oral Rorschach.

that hobbled him Whadaya mean Lot goinon in that statement man

You said it, gotcha, I understand. Hear me out. he took a sip of beer This beer is so tasty, thank you.   Yare welcome  Usually when I go to the bathroom I run the fan; I forgot to turn it on. So after I flushed the toilet I heard it . . . it is oral, correct?

Aural

Oral, that's what I said.

Aural a-u-r-a-l not o-r-a-l I believe by your pronunciation you were seeingsaying o-r-a-l

Anyou’re right, I saw it as I was saying it . .

. . So you can do two things at once

                                      an ongoin point of contention

Evidently he admittedchuckled

                                  But I prefer not to.

Honest as the days long

I am.

A Rorschachs an inkblot

                          You heardsuffered an aural inkblot Youll have to explain it to me furthur

What I mean is . it wasn’t mono, it started mono then switched to stereo . . . that make sense?

It did

      Was it aural in sound or did you hear a voice Yadid say from the toiletemanated from the toilet

Yes. he sipped his beer

                         Sounded like a woman whispering.

Could you make out her words

No no, she spoke too softly.

Didya kneel down put your head nearer your museHA  Nearer my Gawd to thee

Muse?

      You think a muse.

Muse or witch

               Which

he sighed Don’t do that.

Confuses yayou got do two things at once

                                            Just wordplay fingering words I like to be fingered Id suspect words like to be fingered too

I’m losing my train of thought.

Yare fine I rolled it onto a siding for ya

Im . . I’m at a loss . .

. . Put your head in the toilet

                               Usually its just your mind

My mind?

I don mind

Not my mind.

Saying it doesnt make it so Concede or concur   I like either

JesusChrist Can’t you just be thrilled for me that I came up with aural Rorschach?

I am thrilled

             Yare really way outside your lane on a siding   Im surprised your head hasnt exploded

Keep it up it might.

Threats threats always threats

What do you mean?

Im following me

                  Yaoughta get in line an follow us

What do you mean?

Wha do you mean

Nothing huh

Nah. Nothing.  I just wanted to share with you.

Not an anal Rorschachtell me you cleaned it up before yacame out here

Awright final try Yacouldnt make out wha your muse whispered

                                                                    Because ya refused to put your head down nearer her voice Her voice Arent I nice tha I didnt accuse you of havin your head in the toilet again

he looked blandlytook a long pull on his beer finished it

                                                           Think I could have another?

he drained his

                Ill join you

going into the house walking side by side through the livingroom he said Do you think you could let this go?

Let go for now

Yes. Now.

Sure But understand Im remembering it even if you don  anif ya try to deny it

1755,  Thursday,  13  1. 22

1226,  Twosday,  18  1. 22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwLl5nY5WPI

he could only wish he was as clever archaic as QAnon believers he was being facetious they tossed around

WWG1WGA Let’s Go, Brandon apparently after a Brown NASCAR driver

he had to pause to sort through those acronyms disliked them immensely WhereWeGo1WeGoAll looked like wigglewaggle to him a bunch of guys in a field with their dicks out  Brandon Fuck Joe Biden the ostensibly redneck National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing he supposed whoever the kingpins were they plugged Auto in after Car NASCR looks queer queers not usually a good fit  for among their throngs were those who might have been confused that a Car and an Automobile

were different                                                                                                                              sharp sharp  they were as sharp as the pushpins they stuck girlie centerfolds and calendars on corkboards in their shops

no judgment

just an observation

1542,  Monday – Martin Luther King,Jr Day,  17  1. 22

1029,  Twosday,  18  1. 22

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/what-is-the-qanon-conspiracy-theory/ 

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2021/10/lets-go-brandon-meaning-nascar-republicans-joe-biden.html

he was astoundedastonished  again

                                      why would he be

but he was always surprised

he read that the Maya Angelou quarter was coming outwhere the hell was Harriet Tubman replacing Andrew Jackson on the twentydollar bill

he beat ass down to his bank to get his hand on a roll of Maya quarters

stood in line

when he was recognised he walked down to the teller  Jennifer 

                                                                    Good afternoon, how can I help you?

I understand the Maya Angelou quarter was released earlier this week

Excuse me? she leaned inforward they spoke with masks over their faces what do bank robbers do now

The Maya Angelou quarter it was released earlier this week

What?

Maya Angelou  Quarters

Jennifer looked confused  she was middleaged  I don’t know what Mayangelou is.

Who she is

Okay. Let me get a manager to see if she can help you.

Yes Jennifer  please

Midafternoon,  ReggaeFriday,  14  1. 22

1517,  Monday – Martin Luther King, Jr. Day,  17  1. 22

https://catalog.usmint.gov/coins/coin-programs/american-women-quarters-program/?cm_mmc=external+site-_-infosite-_-mayaprogrampage-_-category+name&cc=AWQ&_ga=2.232281372.287426414.1642460581-1987508919.1642460581 

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2021/01/26/harriet-tubman-twenty-dollar-bill-replace-andrew-jackson/4257038001/

You ought to hit that.

   That

Yes that, you know what I’m talking about.

Unfortunately I do though I suppose I may have a little more respect for women

I respect them . .

. . You respect  that

Whatever . .

. . Not makin any headway with me boss

So . you’re not . . . pursuing . this terribly attractive woman who . . who’s . hand’s down, obviously infatuated with you?

No I know the difference between a marriage an a happy marriage

                                                                       Hows yours

Well . . we don’t have an open marriage but we’ve been infatuated time to time. But I’m not talking about me.

Nor me

        Eve asked we help with their move Its wha we do an Im the best you got  Ive met her husband had dinner with them They have a happy marriage . .

. . Until it isn’t.

                She’s dropdead gorgeous and nuts for you.

Its no matter not to say Im not attracted to her  Shes not going to jeopardise her marriage

She might if youd jeopardize yours.

Really

AwJesus.  I’m sorry.

 Sorry   Sorry doesnt cut it

                              People move on except those it happened to If you were sorry youd apologise

I apologise.  Forgive me. 

Im not a churchgoer

                      I accept your apology 

Thank you.

Moving forward

                 We landed this job an Ill work with Eve so it goes off seamlessly in the manner she wants

 

Eve was distracting

they worked closely

she smelled greatlooked great possessed all the attributes physicallyintellectually a man could want

                                                                                                          he would want

they were going to move a long tall ornate wall cupboard 

he was able to shimmy it out into the room enough to get behind it and unscrew the straps that stayed its top an bottom together

as they broke for lunch she laid some heavy drapes which hung from iron rings on the cupboards base she thought she heard a THUNK

                 Did you hear that?

Excuse me

You hear a sound . . as I laid the drapes down?

No I did not

Hmm.

returning from lunch returning to the cupboard she asked a laborer to take the drapes and pack them in the boxes labeled drapes in the livingroom

the laborer went to pick up a sectionheavier than he thought something had caught he pulled and when he pulled the top of the cupboard tilted and followed an iron ring fell between the pieces acted like a toggle it listed then toppled forward

she lunged for one sidehe the other she lost her grip the laborer ducked he couldnt hold it by himself but managed to lessen its impact as it went down pinning the two of them under it

they looked at each other through its shelves

                                               You okay

I think so.

the laborer went off for some help

Yare sure yare okay

I still think so.  You? 

   Im fine

You’re fine?

Cant complainwouldnt trade places with anyone on earth at this moment

Fine?  You hit your head?

Heads fine Youll excuse me for saying so  Im diggin the view

The view?

   You

        shifting his eyes to her breast An you  the cupboard torqued her blouse open to one side baring her breast

she glanced down Oh my God.

His wonders will never cease anthis is as close to a miracle as Ill ever get

while he spoke she was able to free her hand to pull her blouse closed 

it wasnt obliging

Its on my side

I’ll give you my sid . .

. . Yare

This isn’t funny . .

. . Its beautiful

                Yare absolutely beautiful

she blushedkept pulling

slooowly it relented

                      relenting as he chuckled softly and hummed Heaven Im in Heaven

clad blushing fiercely she laughed too her mouth open and began humming with him

 

when the laborers returned they were confused to find them humming  and laughing  they thought they were concussed

unIDd early morning,  Saturday,  15  1. 22

1123,  Monday – celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr.  17  1. 22

Fred Astaire  Cheek to Cheek  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QYdcHQXwdM

lets be cleareyed about the January6 House Select Committee investigation of the Capitol insurrection/domestic terrorism

it is a biparitsan committee

  Yes

       Speaker Pelosi was provided eight selections  chose six Democrats two Republicans Wyomings Lynn Cheney and Illinois’ Adam Kinzinger she (as was her right to be consulted) refused to seat two of Minority leader McCarthys five who were Indianas Jim Banks Illinois’ Rodney Davis Ohios Jim Jordan North Dakotas Kelly Armstrong Texas’ Troy Nehls to “. . make sure (he got) the best people on the committee.”  three of the five challenged President Bidens certification

in McCarthys infinite wisdom he pulled his nominees

  McCarthy

             Freedom Caucus members Jim Banks Pennsylvanias Scott Perry in addition to many other notably Formers Chief-of-Staff Mark Meadows also a former Caucus member are refusing to voluntarily testify before the Committee

shabby dishonest Republicans

American Democracy is on the line

real white meat patriots

1440,  Monday – Martin Luther King, Jr. Day,  17  1. 22

https://www.politico.com/news/2021/07/19/mccarthy-zeroes-in-on-five-gop-members-for-jan-6-select-committee-500201 

https://www.rollcall.com/2021/07/01/pelosis-picks-for-jan-6-select-committee-include-liz-cheney/  

https://www.npr.org/2021/07/21/1018924596/nancy-pelosi-rejects-2-gop-picks-for-jan-6-inquiry-committee

https://www.thebulwark.com/i-spent-insurrection-week-listening-to-steve-bannon/?utm_campaign=wp_the_daily_202&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&wpisrc=nl_daily202

Strike-on-the-Box matches are like yanking your dick rather than stuffing it in a cunt

If yare waiting for an apology

                                Itll be a cold day in hell or snow in Miami before youd get it from him

Diamond Strike Anywhere wood matches get minimised why

                                                                Because shipping entities say FedEx UPS got a bug up their ass suddenly  the matches were dangerous goods were hazmat  shipping prices went through the roof  Bunch of cuntish corporates dicktating terms and conditions

                                                     Theyre the type that wouldnt light cigars or barbecues with matches

they have to use sleek butane lighters  everso stylish  bluejet flame

Don care for suits          

2336,  Saturday,  15  1. 22

Never fails never fails

You’re muttering.

Give me five an Ill be hollering at ya to hear me

                                                 he glanced over Maxs shoulder

Maxs turned right following his look

                                      Awshit.

Ya said it

a city Maintenance truck had parked and an employee was strapping a leaf blower onto his back they sat across from the huge grassy mall sparkling water fountain across from City Hall

Donya think the city would get their labour get a bigger bang for their buck if this cat had a rake but before Max could answer Maintenance fired up the industrial leaf blower

                                                           Wha a fuckin howl

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I said wha a howl

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID HOWL

OHYES, HOWL.

FUCK

YES, FUCK.

WANNA GO INSIDE

MAYBE HE’LL GO UP THE STREET.

BRILLIANT 

           he got up off his ass crossed the street approached Maintenance HEY he started turnedabruptly and retreated as he was reaching to tap him on the shoulder furthur emphasis if he hadnt heard him  Maintenance backed off on the Newtons of force quieting the machine

                                                           Thank you

slipping off his industrial headphones music leaked everywhere What?

I said thank you  Would you mind   Please

Mind?

Pretty obvious Still holding a cup of coffee from the shop across the street where I was having conversation with a friend

You have a rake in your truck

A rake? he asked facetiously

he thought about letting him stew but Norville the stitched name patch on his jacketpossibly on the shirt beneath too  in case he forgot didnt strike him as a deep puddle

                                          Yes A rake Were talking across the street and preferya can imagine not wanting to scream at each other

I have work to do.

Can ya do it on the other end of the mall where the trees and the leaves are I watched you kick up a couplethree leaves at a time here an those leaves  where might you suppose those leaves came from

                                                                                        he looked towards City Hall

Norville followed his gaze Id might imagine these leaves are from those trees at the other end of the mall

Norville looked back at him the machine still gargling

I could do that.

   Please

           I expect well be done with our coffee in a halfhourforty minutes

Half hour.

Forty minutes

Half hour?

Forty minutes

                Look for us or ifya rather I can interrupt you again

Forty minutes.

Thank you he looked at his name patch Norville  he withheld being facetious

We were saying

What did you say to him?

Asked Norville to please tend where the trees and leaves are

You’re kidding me?

                    Norville?

Had you been up-close-an-personal an seen through the googles the headphones off  you may have guessed Norville

Had I a guess before I saw his name patch I would have guessed Huey  Huey Huey Here pig pig pig

What?

Sooie

Sooie?

Pig pig pig  Youve not heard that

No.

Yare definitely from LA

I am, still don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.

Anthas okay awright

Mebbe ya saw as I was walkin towards him he blew one leaf forward an it curled back around behind him  One single leaf

I missed that.

Incredible Then he hit a patch threefour leaves blew up into the air which also circled back around him I think through his gogglesdespite being walleyed  their frame obscured his vision

                                                                      He truly needs a rake Rakes don allow escapees

Escapees?

Nah don play dumb

                     When you approach a herd of leaves ya nonchalantly hide the rake behind your back then when you jump them they get confusedlook for a lead leaf to head the breakout but baffledsurprised their randomnessnot wanting to breakup the band they fall into heap inert  listless

                                                                   Before they know wha hit em youve raked them into a pile to deliver to the street gutter curbside to burn them in their stupor 

Are you high?

Hellno  Im Norvillising

                         Im making sensemade him abide me so we could talk Ya got a problem with that OR WOULD YOU RATHER SCREAM

he startled Max he went over backwards dumping his cooled coffee all over him 

Gawddamn it we still had another twelvefifteen minutes

                                                               Are you okay

You frightened me, I hadn’t expected you to scream in my face.

I wont apologising Should try to expect the unexpected

                                                           Adapt react head on a swivel both feet on the ground

Jesus, I’m having coffee.

When you least expect it yare elected yare the star to day  he didnt sing

I’m the star today?

Ya is

      Smile yare on Candid Camera

1415,  Thursday,  13  1. 22

1747,  Saturday,  15  1. 22

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