28.10.20


You’re funny.

Im funn . . 
. . The things you worry.  They’re ridiculous.

Things I worry

Yes. Inside your head your thoughts go off, amplified by a staticky PA system. Ought to do something about that, improve it.

Improve that questionassertion wasnt going anywhere without eyeball contact

he got up from his chair coffee and whisky and went into the bathroom glared into the mirror over the basin
                                                                                                                  Improve How   Tell me how bigmouth

I’m just saying.

Sosay

 

I don’t have any ide . . 
. . When you have an idea open your mouth Dont ever point at a problem if you dont have a solution loaded up  Otherwise yare wasting our time

 

Yahear me

Yes.

When I talk to you youll acknowledge me  got it

Yes.

Awright  Funny   How
                          Wha am I worrying that strikes you funny

You’ll understand not haha funny, I’m not referring to that type of funny, rather funny as a figure of speech.

Awright Carry on

Alright. That you think of wood you split from a tree you felled; think of it as your fire consumes it.

It warms me It cooks my mealroasts my meat I should respect it

Respect it? It’s wood, it’s fuel; it’s inanimate!

Careful  You can be inanimate 
                                        I could disregard ignore you 
True

begrudgingly  Yes.


Whaelse tickles youis funny about me funny  as a figure of speech

I don’t think I should say, you seem perturbed.

I am perturbed  Im also curious if word went out over the PA why you are the only one laboring me with funny

I have a right to my opinion. Maybe the others are frightened by you.

ATTENTION! 
              That go off over the PA so everyone heard


sheepishly Yes.

Good  Then everyones listening   Correct

Yes.

Theyre hearing your funny

Ye . . 
. . Yes  Yes  An theyre hearing my yeses  An they know if they have a bone to pick with me as yare picking  all they gotta do is open their mouthstheyll have my attention 

But its only been you on this funny Whaelse strikes ya funny One funny certainly couldnt have provoked ya

No. One funny didn’t.

Nice were on the same wavelength 
                                       And

And. That you think of the fowl and pork and beef, the animals, that you’re eating.

 

Why wouldnt I

 

Seriously?

Seriously 
           Theyve died to nourish us  Yadon think I should respect themthat I shouldnt respect them given the terror they suffered in meat factories

Meat factories

Those should never have been allowed to exist 

Corporate murder

Miserable as state murder

Murderers murderers of beings they considerNO they dont consider them they consider their paychecks  Corporate considers their bottomline

Evidently humane hasnt any standing

Evidently animals earthlings  dont deserve humane 

A product is a product

 

I think you’re over the top.

Over the top is me snapping you out of my headout of existence


Youll appreciate my top is high that Ive set my bar high an did so on purpose

You can appreciate that  yes

 

Put it that way . .
. . HA

Put it that way . . yes.

Good 
      Then we have an understanding  since you stood alone    Funny

2025,  Twosday,  27  10. 20
1452,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  28  10. 20

Trump virus

Americans infected and dying 
                                 Trump the wartime president surrenders       

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2020/10/27/928062773/u-s-cases-surpass-summer-peak-and-are-climbing-higher-fast

the Market watches the whole world is watching and knows health precedes wealth

https://www.npr.org/sections/coronavirus-live-updates/2020/10/28/928600886/stocks-sink-as-rising-coronavirus-cases-deepen-fears-about-economy?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20201028&utm_term=4926183&utm_campaign=breaking-news&utm_id=28916831&orgid=55

1323 or 123,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  28  10. 20

 
I’m really loaded. when they got there the maidenhead began to crumblesome parted  it was manna  it was a gateway utterance  
           I’m really loaded. he liked to hear it

Friday night they played aroundhad themselves a ball liquor smoke music dancing feelingup  stroking

when he touched up with them Saturday afternoon What did we do last night, I don’t remember.

Yadon remember

No. I suppose we had a good time, you and I always have a good time . . even if I can’t remember.


that was very Catholic of them

whas a guy to do 

he lied
      he lied to protect the innocent

he didnt kiss an tell 

beside 
        those guys tended to lie

they thought their lies would precede themtout them as smooth operators Casanovas
                                                                                          O horseshit what they spouted was what they imagined about a girl as they stroked their cocks  beat off

Call em a beat off those were fightin words had to defend their honortheyd defend theirs before they would defend the honor of the girl they said took their fingerstheir fist or gobbled cock like chicken at cracked corn

he loved beat off fistfights

won plenty more than he lost

he couldnt help but get more punches in than were necessary at the end maybe the excessive punishment would teach em a lesson 
             NOT  usually the case thick skulls  hard to penetrate thick skulls  but he supposed everyone had a right to their lies

 

I was really loaded. What did we do last night.

he only went out with Catholic girls

he liked their school uniformsliked their black patent leather shoes spitpolished that when he looked at hard enough he could see their white cotton panties reflected in

he only went out with girls who confessed and sought absolution on Sunnydays

 

fuckin Catholics were geniuses
 
0138,  Twosday,  27  10. 20
1534,  Twosday,  27  10. 20
The White Stripes  Ball and Biscuit  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urEeUMqRhA4

27.10.20

 

The whole world is watching, the whole world is watching, the whole world is watching . .

he remembered that chantthat mantra out the mouths of civilian and student demonstrators on the streets of Chicago reverberate from his familys black and white television set during the ‘68 Democratic National Convention

he saw police violence

he heard Mayor Daley violently subvert the peoples right to peaceably assembly and he knew in their midst there were men whose jobagent provocateurs was to incite the police  a wink and a nod  because authority knows it can  nothing points its finger better than a well-exercised and -practise authority

he was a kid and he knew

elementary school had bullies 
                                 bullies dont changedont go away they grow up

thats what he remembered seeingwhat he remembered saying and his father said . . those hippies, those worthless pieces of shit . .

Someday he replied they may be leading the country

Unlikely, son, more likely they’ll be dead.

he was shockedhe was so shocked that he couldnt think to stop him to explain his brutal comment before he left the kitchen heading out to the car to leave for his part-time evening job he didnt know if his dad meant that they would in order to beat prison terms submit to go to Nam and die or if he meant theyd be murdered

Black Panthers were either murdered or imprisoned they were and are political prisoners yet right here in the United States the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave

"Since 1968" Americans have neither been free or brave then they went wide and overdosed on September 11 and lost their minds            

 

the whole world is watching 
                               2020  a year that will live in infamy   a year with a sociopath pathetic cocksucker daily at the helm 

2354,  Moanday,  26  10. 20
1317,  Twosday,  27  10. 20
60 Minutes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdAh2HJ98WE

 

the president whineswants to make his election about a heresy  a harrisy   a Harrisy                                                                                                                                https://www.msnbc.com/11th-hour/watch/biden-and-obama-blast-con-man-trump-for-covid-19-response-94811717832

prick 
1032,  Twosday,  27  10. 20

$227K -- Killed

the Sun King in the shade of Covid 

1616,  Twosday,  27  10. 20


 

anthems  allegiances  pledges  vows

                                                                                

he couldnt wrap his head around them or the necessity why theyre asked 
                                                                               asked?
no theyre not
                       theyre dictates                  theyre required to keep one in line


he was watching a Stanley Cup play-off game in a small local beer bar they brewed a doubleIPA he was over the moon for

he came for the beer and the game

he called ahead to be sure they were going to be showing it  it wasnt a sports bar and if customers werent interested he didnt want to impose himself 
                               he didnt own a television or had watched TV in a long long time

he did however keep his eyeballs peeled ear to the ground for intriguing matchups

the announcer queued up that the Star-Spangled Banner Americas national anthem would be followed by the Canadian national anthem  O Canada 

a double dip he foolishly hadnt anticipated

he could have arrived ten minutes later and not missed the puck dropped to start the game 
                                                                                                not the kind of foreplay hed be interested in

he looked around the bar  no one seemed to be paying attention as the Star-Spangled Banner began

he motioned the bartender over and asked him if he wouldnt mind muting the screen  that way he wouldnt disrupt the other customers who were enjoying their conversations

That’s mighty thoughtful of ya, bub, we don’t usually watch much sports on it.

I know you dont  the reason why I called ahead to see if you were even going to run it  Id have gone elsewhere if it would have been an inconvenience

No, no, no inconvenience. These folk are the usuals. They enjoy their chats and arguments, bitch about grain and futures, talk horses, cattle, swine, small town politics; you’re a fresh face.

I come in on occasion  A game seven is hard to pass up

I wouldn’t know.

Wouldnt know
               Well I appreciate your help  My names Joe  You

Clarence.

A bell I might ring when Id like another beer

Ha. dismissively  No. Clarence will do.

Clarence backed off to mute the anthems and he wondered if anyone ever tried to shorten his name or what nickname he might go by  he was a big man  Johnny Cashs A Boy Named Sue immediately sent off in his head


ah  silence  
                except for the murmur behind him as he sat at the bar

hed be entertained  he didnt have a dog in the fight 
                                                        and as fans struck respectful erect poses en masse the broadcast the Jumbotron inside the arena cut to military jet aircraft streaking over it

did they buy into what they were being sold  a nationalistic pageantry

he didnt get the militarisation of Sports anymore than the Police  why this small borough had an armoured troop carrier was beyond him 

he supposed they werent peace officers  that they werent there To Protect and Serve 

 


anthems   allegiances   pledges   vows 
                                              they werent anything more than devious social constructs addressing supposedly intimate relations between people and their nation or government or community  and also to effect scrutiny of those who didnt kneeldidnt bow to nationalistic furor incitement  propaganda   disinformation

when he got married at the County Courthouse they didnt exchanges vows  they didnt put their hands on a Bible  they didnt swear

that they married attested to their devotion and intimacy 

words and poses would belittle their awesome love

thats how they felthow they definitely felt 

which was all that was needed

1510,  Friday,  19  5. 17
1224,  Monday,  26  10. 20
Johnny Cash  A Boy Named Sue  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnqWOI5MoXo 

26.10.20

 

Gudgud comrade he said to the interrogator then neither of us fears death Too bad I wasnt bound before they brought me to you 
           that was their hubristheir cock-assuredness 

he hurled himself over the steelcase desk at the interrogators throat as he fumbled for the 9mm in the holster at his hip

a head smashed repeated on a concrete floor doesnt make much noiseat least not enough to betray someone 
                                                                                                                  betray him
he beat the back of the his head to a soppy pulp

turned him over

then beat his face so he was unrecognisable

nothing remained supported on bone 


the steel door was locked

there was no window

it was a basement cell 


it might be a dead draw

but armed now he may get more than one 
 
2240,  Sunday,  25  10. 20
1040,  Monday,  26  10. 20
Radik Tyulush  Oskus Urug “bring the beards”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jEBM-OkpLI

$226K -- Killed

We’re not going to control the pandemic. White House chief of staff Mark Meadows (who chaired the House Freedumb Caucus) conceded

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/white-house-we-re-not-going-get-control-pandemic-n1244740?cid=eml_mra_20201026

when he was pressed Meadows added Because it is a contagious virus.

Trump Virus has always been contagious

the Administrations failure was not immediately enforcing health protocols to help minimise it rather they threw up their hands and cried UNCLE cried herd mentality (yes he did) 

Like magic, it will go away.

1429,  Moanday,  26  10. 20

 

she was long and tall and leaned back against him as he held her in his arms as he leaned against the kitchen counter after they had prepared dinner together yapping  then placing it in the oven

he did the prepwork washed and sliced or diced or grated vegetables as she asked 

her bit was the witchy partthe melding and folding the subtle herbs or punch-ya-in-the-mouth spices  eye of newt  knee of worm  feather of phoenix

he didnt have or ever acquired her finesse 
                                             though the butchering hewing and knifework was right up his alley coarse but serving a necessary basic purpose

he then her 
              as fire is to smoke and scent


holding her against himthe warmth and weight of her body he nuzzled smelled her hair smelled the nape of her neck 
he inhaled deeply
                   My gawd

What?

Love you smell like a freshbathed newborn An aint a damn thing that smells better in the world

Stop.

No yado  Ya smell wonderful anya feel so good in my arms

I smell like a baby?

Yado

I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Shame on them  People dont know what they have until its gone an then they cant say  so their thoughts are utterly meaningless

Yamean so much to me

Thank you for being alive at the same time I am

You’re gonna make me cry.

Then cry
 
2055,  Monday,  5  10. 20
1519,  Sunday,  25  10. 20
Bobby Darin  The More I See You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo68uzYwb3c

25.10.20

 

the lyrics rang in his earshe smirked 
                                       Call me irresponsible  call me unreliable  throw in undependable too   whenever he heard politicians refer to America as Exceptional  refer to it as Indispensable 
                                                                                     Christso glib
he wished he could give their brain an enema 


he heard themsaw them asif he were encased in an enormous icecube irregular  lopsided its innards gone only a thin translucent shell eradiatedslowly melted by the yolkyellow sun hanging in a marvelousblue sky

inside looking out was like being under shallow water which softly quaked to the beat of his heart

the shell separated them 
                           but eventually hed emerge  an he worried ever-so-slightly for them when he did

he was muted now

emergent hed be brusquepossibly violent if they couldnt be reasonable couldnt admit fact over fiction couldnt admit they were wrong and accept their accountability  
                                               he would happily volunteer to enforce their consequences

333 or 1533,  Day-between-Two-Ts, D-Day,  6  6. 18
1123,  Sunday,  25  10. 20
Bobby Darin  Call Me Irresponsible  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgsBPvLqNpE 

 
polysemy
         he caught his breathe

he knew the word 
                       the coexistence of many possible meanings to a word or phrase

but what it triggered and he couldnt shake out of his head was polyseamy 


Christ, get your mind out of the gutter.

Cant Was spawned in a gutter

You wer . .
. . I was  Yaknow this 
                         My mother was culled knocked aroundshoved down and gangraped on a brickpaved street patchworked with asphalt  at the mouth of an alleyway

Shes taken me thereits probably not occurred to her  anmore often than she might care to admit 

Yad think only a criminal might return to the scene of the crime 

Obviously she cant help herself 


She has regrets 


Im one of them

Her family warned her about going out on her own but she was headstrong  

Being headstrong is probably what saved my life She had to come to terms with her family forcing me on her If Gods Will was having a bastard Gods Will was better than her aborting me 

Gods will Wha horseshit  Gods will 
                                        I was Gods swill my mother had to quaff I was a bellyache that she couldnt take anything for and had to suffer If she had her way Id ve been aborted an burnedup in the incinerator out behind the house 

As a boy it was my job to take the garbage out and burn it When the ash cooled I scattered it in the cinder alley

After I learned about meoverhead it  adults talking  drunk  too loud   After I learned I couldnt help but think of it every time I burned garbage 

Whas funny funny   such a stupid mother but such a bright woman If only she could have shaken her family They were going to have me She became some kind of religious vessel Wasnt a Virgin Mary I was no Christ child Who can delude themselves with marvelous inanity and force it on someone they say they love

 

It was when I realised what surrounded me that I ran away

I wanted to take her with me but her infection was too deepseated 


Yaknow this
  
sometime in September, 2020
1054,  Sunday,  25  10. 20
The Mills Brothers  You Always Hurt the One You Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThZgBY3s4Xg

24.10.20

 

she had startled him 



standing on the bluff above the beach he looked down expecting its golden sand but instead saw that the whole of it was covered up asif cloaked in a quilt rectangular panels cornflower blue pale yellow and dappled with white asterisks 
            a theme  yet none of them alike

they followed the beach down to the water and went under the slush of the surf broken by a natural coral breakwater that mothered a broad emeraldblue lagoon

he doubledback down the bluff picking his way through sticky shrubs to take a worked path at its base which opened onto the beach

entering a cleaved coralblock bathhouse to change into his swimsuit he pulled aside a halfopened curtain hanging in the mouth of a stall and interrupted a woman who stood concealed to the side wrapped in a terrycloth robe 

she had a high intelligent brow short curly blonde hair that kept to her head like a cap almondshaped green eyes supple mouth which naturally hued towards a bustedcherry colour and a jaw that looked like it could take a punch 

she didnt startle
                she startled himhe certainly hadnt expected anyone to be inside or not protest his sudden intrusion 

she pursed her lipsremained silent then with an intense countenance that brightened the stall she frankly unclothed pulled the robe open with her small handsshrugged it from her shoulders and let it fall to her feet 
                                                                                                       and in that instant her bisquecoloured bodythe honeycoloured robe  she looked asif she was thoughtfully carved from old ivory fashioned from fine sand 


she held his eyes with hers 
                              and because she assumed her pose a cool unruffled demeanor he challenged her he let his gaze wander and was pleasantly astonished by her hairlessness the quiet fuzz on a peach  she was exquisitely proportionately rounded though did not break five feet not at all  then tantalisingly she dipped her shoulder and turned and turnedturning an entire threehundredsixty degrees then facing him again she parted her feet shoulder width her arms relaxed at her sides 
                             It appears, friend, you like what you see.

when he went to speak he croaked his voice hadnt caught up to him 

a smile broke across her face

she pleased herself    

he wrestled his voice clearing it finally 
                                         I do Yes   I do
My gratitude to your parents

My parents? a not-uncomfortable expression stirred her face rose into her eyes My parents?

Yes Dont you think 
                     Your attributes genetics   appealing

she stepped back over her robe and sat on a cantilevered woodslat bench supported on chains creeping with verdigris

she crossed her legs demurely rested her hands at her thighs

she sat erect

My parents? she was bemused 
                                       Yes. I see.

he stood at the stalls threshold

the ball was in her court 


while she worked on whatever it was that moved behind her eyes he admired her  relished this unexpectedness
scarcely worried it


she was working at it hard presentyet absent 

he quietedcleared his throat 
                               Im Joe  Since were familiar now

Familiar seemed to connect or at least humour her

Joe.


Yes A common Joe

Joe. Do you really think this is common?

Common is relativeis ones experience Think what you may   This is common

now the smile that crossed her face was predatory 
                                                     her mouth opened slightly  her tongue ticked her canine

Joe. What name would you give me?
                                       her question barely escaped her mouthSeafoam

he could see the word work in her mouth unsaid  again and again 
                                                                         finally  Seafoam.
Yes

And why?

Because youre not here

I her hands went to her breastsshe cupped them  I am not here.

No Youre not here 


Joe. If I’m not here, where am I?

he put an indexfinger like a barrel of a gun to his temple  Here

 

he ate several psilocybin in the parking lot before descending to the beach for a long quiet swim sunbathing  ruminating pen and pad should something shake out 
it was recommended to him

he won a Kewpie Doll for his girlfriend that she didnt want at a street carnival in Santa Cruz earlier that year
                                                                                                                  he told her he won either a Kewpie Doll or a Kewpie Doll

she left it in his car 

he named her Rosie OKneel bent her legs at the hips and sat her naked on the dash his windshield was cracked by a fallen branchdislocated by an excellent wind and rain he told Rosie to watch it so it didnt so it didnt crack furthur 
it hadnt


Seafoam. I like it.

It suits you 
             An I imagine when you leave me youll simmer away as seafoam does

We have time. Come in and change and we’ll go down to the water.


it was her turn to admire 

he wasnt going to turn in circles

the male form is rude compared to a females 
                                               hard angles versus rounds and curves
 
earlier AM,  Reggae Friday,  23  10. 20
1134,  Saturday,  24  10. 20
Everly Brothers  All I Have To Do Is Dream  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbU3zdAgiX8
The Seekers  I’ll Never Find Another You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZf41UudAbI

23.10.20

$225K -- Killed


Billy Preston sings The Presidents song 
                                            Will It Go Around in Circles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_e-RQZVwxg  sssh  privately hed confess to prefer The Ikettes rendition https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtbXaV41s5g

All (Biden) wants to talks about is covid, covid, covid, because they want to scare people . . . we’re rounding the turn, we’re rounding the corner; we’re rounding the corner beautifully.

2342,  Friday,  23  10. 20