a student runner breathlessly
entered his junior high classroom with a summons in hand
her eyes went around the room as
she went to the door to exit as Mr Carter pronounced his name Joe Mr
Sweat would like to speak with you there
were several Joes in the classroom but those Joes knew Mr Sweat wasnt asking to
see them
he tarried to rise he wasnt going to give her snoopy as he knew her to be
the satisfaction of learning who he was she
was one of many who saw themselves fitwere selfappointed to inform the junior
highs rumour mill but all she was going to know was that it a Joe
from Mr Carters fifth period English class
hed have no face and without it no fingers pointing him out
ah sacred anonymity
Yes Mr Carter
Joe Take this hall pass
Sir we have only another wha tennine minutes of class left Why not wait until its over and then Ill make
my way down to Mr Sweats during passing time
No. When you’re summonsed by Mr.
Sweat he means Now. You’ll not keep the principal waiting. If you did it would
imply that I do not understand what a summons is. And I do. So please take this
and leave; after school today come back here for your evening assignment.
Thank you.
Well he thought there was that wasnt
there
he quietly collected his books
got up from his desk went up the aisle to Mr Carter and took the pass from his
hand Thank you sir
Joe. I don’t know if I should say you’re welcome.
I’ll see you later this afternoon.
Yes Thank you sir
leaving the classroom he didnt
look at any of kids they had no idea why
he was summonsed though he did and he imagined the forthcoming
conversation with Mr Sweat was going to be ah humourous some people have thin
skins
Mrs Neely the secretary had him
take a seat along the wall in the outer officethe antechamber although when he said it he imagined its spelling as antichamber he was usually on the opposite side of the
argument he appreciated Mr Sweats
job but he had more appreciation for
himself he knew he ruffled feathers but
he certainly didnt think his actions required Mr Sweat intervention Crybaby
he
took his favorite seat it was a wooden
armchair that was across from a really tall window that looked out over the campus
lawn into the old elms growing there and through their crowns to the blue
cloudy sky beyond
he was so fond of that chair that
with graduation this year he was going to ask Mr Sweat if he could buy it
Mrs Neely wasnt in Mr Sweat
office but a moment and returned she
stood at its thresholdshe didnt shut the door
Joe. Mr. Sweat will see you now.
Damn
under his breathhe hadnt even properly settled into HIS chair Yes Mrs Neely Thank you he squeezed the chairs
armgave it a wink Later sweetheart Im sure
he crossed behind Mrs Neelys desk
that stood like a rampartbarricade before Mr Sweats door
he passed her he could have walked under her arm if she held
the door she was a long tall drink of
water
Mr. Sweat was rising from his chair
behind his desk as he entered
they shook hands across the
desk both of them leaning forward Mr Sweat was a short man but barrelchested he was bald on top but wore a wreath of brown
steelystreaked hair around his head that reminded him of a Roman emperor
Have a seat, Joe.
If you dont mind Mr Sweat I would
prefer to stand I dont think this will be a long conversation Do you
Perhaps not.
Do you know why I’ve had you come?
I have a pretty good idea
Fine. What’s your idea?
If I may before I share my idea provide some context that may or may not have
been shared which provoked your uh
your invitation
Please. I think we know each
other well enough, you understand that I’m a fair man.
Yes sir You are a fair man with an understandable leaning
Leaning?
Yes sir You couldnt hold this job if you didnt lean Correct
I don’t know I would describe it
as . . leaning.
No sir I wouldnt think you would
Okay.
I understand.
And your context?
Yes sir Have you eaten the raisin pie in the cafeteria
The raisin pie?
No. I have not, I’m not
fond of raisins.
I am
Fond of raisin?
Yes sir I had it once before and when I couldnt finish
I asked for my money back I was refused Then at the time I said if my money wasnt returned then the
least the cafeteria she could do was not make it in the future Maybe two piesI dont think Ive ever saw more
than two Rather I suggested she make
other pies instead and not torture the
raisins serve them separate in a paper
cup in their natural state
I was privy to your remarks.
Ohgood But you didnt call me into the office for
that
No. You werent . necessarily . . .
provocative.
Do you really think I was
provocative this time
I believe you think you weren’t.
I believe you can believe I wasnt
they quietly sat stood across from
each other both ramrod straight
Mrs. Sheehan . . believes .
otherwise. She asked me to speak to you regarding . . what?
Regarding my language obviously
Yes.
She could have made other pies
She does.
Yes But she has continued to make raisin pieswasting resourceswasting her time
And? You didnt have to choose the pi . .
.
. Excuse me
Excuse me Mr Sweat I had to be sure And sure I returned it again after one
forkful I returned to Mrs Sheehan as I
did the first time and asked again for my money back though
more firmly
Yes. More firmly. More
offensively.
he couldnt restrain the smile
that broke over his face when he composed
himself he continued Mr Sweat you must recognise that was clever
Mr Sweat didnt smile Clever?
Certainly he
wanted to say it like Curly of the Three Stooges said it Come on you wont agree I was clever
And you said?
Awright
I said if she was determined to
continue making raisin pies she ought to at least provide a vomitorium for the cafeteria Five syllables Rhymey Mr Sweat Clever
Mrs. Sheehan took offense.
Obviously
You don’t think you owe her an apology?
I believe not
Her raisin pies offend meyet she
makes other fantastic pies And Ive told
her soIve complimented her other pies
If I were to . .
.
. Please dont Mr Sweat I wont
What am I to do with you, Joe?
Mr Sweat
Thats your problem sir
July, 2019
1234, Thursday,
8 8. 19
