BaBy yEr mY FaNtASY

the FaNtASY is over

his tribe took it downthree bodacious kittends kittens ended plenty of things he hadnt imagined he exerts patience patience patience theyd grow out of their insanityinexperience but he had to appreciate it while it was flushedfullblooded in the heat of the momenttheir youth  or why have them

on his refrigerator he placed a coloured magnetic alphabet so his granddaughters could enjoy when they came to visit
which unfortunately wasnt often
                                  which compelled him to play with it

he wrote notes to his girlfriend

she responded when she came to the house to care for their tribe

their tribe

he wouldnt haveshe wouldnt have if she hadnt brought october into their lives

more pointedly  into his life

he took october in

without any idea that she would want outan she did

                                                       slipped him one nighthurtling through the open door behind him as he entered with bags of canned fud dry fud for her and indie 

indie wasnt going anywhere

being neutered does that to a cat or a human being he might assume

the fantasy is over

he wrote on the refrigerator to her BaBy  and descending off the y  E-r  m-Y  and to the left of the Y  F-a-N-t-A-S

the tribe  having become adept leapers  recognised curiosity killed the cat the magnetic coloured letters on the face of refrigerator and had to take them downscatter them across the linoleum floor  play

unfortunately their discombobulation coincided with a growing distance between BaBy and him

he gave her as much rope as she wanted 
                                            and did so despite the possibility of her hanging herself with it

because she seemed yet  not to grasp who she was


but maybe women didnt know their status under continual attacks and redefinition advertisements craftedattacking them that they didnt haveshe didnt have the luxury luxury  luxury  a white mans luxury to put their foot down as he did as a boyadamantly  identifying himself  and not budging off his identity since

a round peg wedged tightlymaddeningly  in a square hole
                                                             defiantly crying I dont give a fuck  he had scars to prove his defiance

maybe women didnt prefer scars

they arent considered attractive

so they tried to avoid them

and failing they triedthey tried to hide them BULLSHIT  Let your freak flag fly!

BaBy yEr mY FaNtASY 
                              above it on the freezer door higher than the tribe could leap  she wrote I LOVe joe 

1107,  Sunday,  7  7. 19

Kembe X  Gino’s Disquisition  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV0j9LXrd0g  “you got to be your own woman”

American women

American women (no matter their colour) are better than American men (and not just in the realm of athleticism)  https://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/fifa-womens-world-cup/united-states-beats-the-netherlands-2-0-to-win-its-fourth-womens-world-cup-title/ar-AADYZNH?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=mailsignout

babyboys! he hoped they could wrap their skulls around this natural premise . . .

1036, Sunday,  7  7. 19

Guess Who  American Woman  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sk3y3QxvuGg   “You know Im gonna lose . . ”

rent-a-cop   police   military

need a jobwant a job

they got one for you

dress you up 

do this do thatdont think thats why were here 

We   They 

corporate   government   military

obedience

obey        they set the stage paint the scenery place the props anif it doesnt look just right   too bad  it is
     ohboy 

they paint No  No  No in thick black paint No Trespassing

                                                                    Dont worry your pretty little head.

they wont teach or tell you Know  Know  Know  unless its to their benefit  

Dont worry your pretty little head.

they paint things Blue camo-green desert-brown

fuck something up

                     Dont worry your pretty little head.  

they got your back 

you cant possibly do anything wrong  

theyre with you 

                 in lock step goose step 

its about security

                   they tell youYou got shit. You wanna keep your shit?  Others want it.

theyll keep the other at bay

they dont say that they wont be happy not really until everything and everyone are locked down no one dares challenge them

       anif youre thinkin of daring  do yourself a favor  read a little Black American History  Emancipation Reconstruction  the white Souths legalised recriminations  Ku Klux Klan  Jim Crow 

they know how to keep a brother a sister down  down an out

                                                                             Go ahead they dare

theyll treat you like a podumb nigger

dare

moneys on them

odds are theirs

you should really want to be or belong 

                                              be on their side

they ran into each other in front of a drugstore 

the store alarm was shrieking

he shifted the clothbag hanging from his shoulder forward

rent-a-cop went to his taser fingered the clasp securing it  sprung the strap 

hed say he was fearful 

Thats mantra Huh?

Nevermind

Fearful. That’s all you need to remember.

We’ll sort it out afterwards.

YAH Dont worry your pretty little fuckin head he said I wouldnt do that if I were you

deploying the taser Stand where you are!

We dancing

Don’t talk to me. Stand fast.

Why would I do that

Because I told you . . 

. . An you think you because you stumbled onto me that Im buying into whatever it is you think you have on me  without cause

I told you to stand fast. he leveled the taser at him

Best deescalate 

               he held his hands up palms open Easynow 

the creep lit him up

Fuck never escaped his jaws barred by his gritted teeth the back of his head grated raw on the concrete an gravel in the parking lot

tingling  spastic  

                 but on the dark field before his eyes he was able to align the words he thought  the words fell awkwardly in gobs an chunks like childrens playblocks  IF  HE  THINKS  THIS  ENDS  HERE  HES  NUTS  GOT  HIM  ON  MY  DANCE  CARD

1547,  Monday,  17  6. 19

1234, Saturday,  6  7. 19

Kembe X  Gino’s Disquisition  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV0j9LXrd0g

something came out of his nose that didnt look like himhe never saw before  he didnt think it was his

frankly it didnt look like anything hed produce  fuckin alien

he felt it tuurn in his sinuses it woke him he thought maybe he was asleepstill dreaming but the rising suns light bleached his windows shone on the wall at the foot of his bed

he didnt like partitions not drapes or curtain between inside and out fortunately his house stood on top of a hill other homes were beneath his elevation

something definitely turned inside his head  

                                              and when he stirred it ceased moving  a game of cat and mouse

he blew his nose throughout the day although not necessarily to evict the curled thing in his sinuses but rather because of a weepy left nostril he suffered  a physician took it upon himself to fix his deviated septum he didnt ask him to 

his consistent continual blowing may have broken the camels back he could feel the mass descendingworking its way out

then it stopped

               he had a sensation of it becoming ariddrying out it crawled and crumbled to a stop it was riight there  Damn Move Finish this up

a nostril is elastic he thought he might be able to dislodge it with his thumb blunt object at blunt objectPRESTO! dislodged it fell onto his desk

gingerly he pushed it with his indexfinger Wha are you wha the fuck are you  You certainly arent me timidly he pushed poked the dried crud with his finger to his horror it shivered shivered like an unearthed earthwormtwisting on itself writhing then emitting dust spores then like a pill bug it unfurled got up on fine insect legs and began crawling

he stood up out of his chairswept it off his desk onto the wood floor he stepped on itcrushed it underfoot 

his mind caught up with him a moment later What did you do?

What did you do?

I . . I suppose I panicked  I crushed it

Where?

Im standing on it  Under my foot

You’re just going to stand there?

I am I will until my Comfort returns Mebbe you might wanna go looking for ityou cant miss it Im guessing itll keep its bugged eyes for a bit

Comfort’s a funny thing.

Youre telling me Whatever you do dont force it coerce it Talk it down  Talk it down be considerate

Considerate?

As you were considerate?

I was panicked Youre not You were late And youre seeking Comfort Comfort isnt terrifying or invasive

You mean to stand here until I return?

Yabetcha If stomping it didnt kill it Ill suffocate it

I’d like to see.

When you get back with Comfort I aint going anywhere Comfort aint so quick or has endurance It utilised its Flight speed leaving me to Fight

You’re not going anywhere?

Ill be right here 

You know me better than that

Thought I did. However haven’t known you to pan . .

. . It  was  panic  worthy

Okay, okay. I’ll be back.

Comfort hasnt gone too far Look for a bush moving by itself  Likely hes hiding behind it

Not up in a tree?

Thatd be me Comfort never followed me up trees  Afraid of heights perhaps

I’ll be back.

Im waiitiing

his mind sauntered off  and as it went his thoughts returned to what was under his foot Whawas that   

                                                                                                            a primal aspect inside him moaned Mmaybbe iit wwas aa viiruus loookiing foor aah hoome

It had something there 

but he knew his body to be a cesspool  inhospitable   

like Afghanistan  he was a place for empires or viruses to go to die

1404,  Saturday,  22  6. 19

1337,  Twosday,  2  7. 19

either lead or followthats the choice

either lead dog or your nose at the his or her asssniffsniff                                                                                

whacha like 

                fresh air or scented                                                                                                                          

he  preferred  fresh he preferredalways has  that raw breaththat breath of fresh air turned by the atmosphere winds

couldnt make him work in a hole  a mine

he conceded working in a building where air was recirculated airconditioned  fucked with 

                                                                                               but his constitution kept him rolling on more than not when coworkers went overwent down with communicable illnesses  on the tendrilstenacles of cooled and warmed air

corporate wasnt big on keeping their airfilters updated saved money so he had to be the bitch Sorry grrls if he coopted say otherwise he was the prick swung in their face Their  in his caseusually most cases white males When I get confirmationevidence theyve been changed out Ill be back to work he never took their word for anything 

either lead or follow 

                      he was proof you could lead from behind coerce with logic and truth 

his last superior lost his shit when he went over their head refused to go through him just included him on his problem-solving  his solution

he cc’d him kept him in the loop

his manager genuinely lost his shit screamingYes  at him in the call center among his coworkers   

he stood up crossed past him  You got something to say to me you can say it in the your office 

he left him yelling at his back in the call center

when he broke in through his closed office door Who the fuck do you think you are walking away from me?

Who do you think you are You got something to say to mepersonally  you say it to me in private You arent grandstanding  not on my time

he growledblew spittle  I've been through your personnel file and I don't know how you've kept your job.

I kept my job because I did my job Management cant refute my ethic or veracity  Besides that shitty line Its business it aint personal doesnt fly with me  I take everything personal  I wore it on my sleeve 

I made coming into this gig a matter of equality The company expected me to reflect it In return I demanded it also reflect me Tit for tat I held that mindset like herpes

They always blanched when I asked at company meetings Whos the asshole who came up with that idea

They never said

Their programmes werent well received

Though assholism never is

Cant bumped a guy for being truebeing accurate  Sucks But whas right is right

Besides  you come rolling in from lunchsmelling like booze Who do you think you are chastising me Know where youve been Your reputation precedes you Dont think yawanna dance with me  Dont think so

I  will hang you out to dry

either lead or follow

1654,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  3  7. 19 

1404,  Thursday, Fourth of July! 2019 

Tembe X  Alive  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VG4O6CSc1wY

he walked into a narrow gangway formed between a concrete block retaining wall and the side of a church basement

the gangway lead to an array of steep uneven pouredconcrete steps that would lead him up to ground level – the oldest church in the community – before churches opened in available storefronts on strip malls or tents pitched on property belonging to absentee landlords 

                                 Gawd giveth and He taketh away

the gangway was sliced into an atmosphere of suspended gloom and brilliant exuberance by sunlight at his left painting the church wall cast through old tall trees

he paused at the head of the gangway

at his feet an iridescent shimmering snail trail was revealed it ran in delicious eclipticsround and roundpassing over itself and revealing its escape path into a stand of ivy 

he couldnt help but wonder how long it took the snail lay its track 

                                                                     and as he wondered in the fallen brittle live oak leaves a thin brown lizard broke into a noisy run ahead of him in the gutter at the foot of the retaining wall  it scampered just ahead of him he walked hot on its heels all four to where the lizard had to pullup arrested by an abrupt concrete step

turning to face him it assumed Godzillas fighting pose mouth openmenacing sides heaving sucking breath     

Its awright buddyboy he told it Life aint no different for me Relax Ill not hurt you

1431,  Thursday,  13  6. 19

1139,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  3  7. 19

Godzilla  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdD3hidVIbk

a fitting candle on America’s birthday cake   truly

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/justin-amash-our-politics-is-in-a-partisan-death-spiral-thats-why-im-leaving-the-gop/2019/07/04/afbe0480-9e3d-11e9-b27f-ed2942f73d70_story.html?utm_term=.6ea4f480a84a

1230,  Thursday,  4  7. 19

Kembe X  Gino’s Disquisition  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wV0j9LXrd0g

No   no no emphatically he shook his head side to side  No no

What’s going on here? a buddy strolled up Who’s he? he asked nodding towards the old man

He asked in broken English if he could share my table The shop was filled to brimming Yaknow me happy to help a brother out

So what are you no-no-ing him? he turned to the gentleman Hello.

Hello the elderly man responded like a myna bird

Seems a cool old dude, man.

Sipping a triple espresso Definitely cool

So what are you no-ing him about?

MAGA

MAGA?

Fuckin echo in here he smiled Yes MAGA

the old man mimicked Maggot.

And there you have it I was telling him its MAGA Make America Great Again not maggot He aint having it He laughs and keeps repeating Maggot Maggot Not that I disagree

his buddy turned to the old man and said something in a tongue Asian maybe he didnt recognise it slick

the old man responded in kind

Are you shittin me he said You speak his lingo

Haltingly. I picked up his . . tone . . inflection.

Because why

ELT.

English Language Teaching

You know it?

I do I considered it too Thought it might be a nice way to travel interact with other people

And?

Dug constructionbuilding more Besides found it a little nuts that America thinks everyone around the world ought to be able to speak Englishfuckin entitled pushing too hard on that Indispensible horseshit

How we can think that way while we have a president running aroundbanging around inside his mental cage flinging shit like an ape is beyond me

So

So?

So Youll be able to communicate to him MAGA isnt maggot

he laughed Why would I dissuade from thinking otherwise? He mentioned you were mistaken. MAGA made no sense. Maggots thrive on a corpse.

Ouch

Yeah. That’s exactly what I said.

Happy Birthday America!!

after 1615,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  3  7. 19

1159,  Thursday,  4  7. 19

Kendrick Lamar  Humble  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4RELGc9su8

Kembe X  Welcome to America  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux3JAWJlXko&list=OLAK5uy_nQrkNbkDVE8R-Z3bsYbJoEAgTFobkMK84&index=4

                                                                                          

                                                                                                          freestyle

well see what we see

                        wriote this is why he put the site up to see what could be seen

gaslight

kerosenelight

firelight

         they would have driven him nuts  though he was near far from nuts

                                                                              he liked to rub elbows with itdump its beer in its lapOoops So sorry big guy I might have had one too many yaknow 

to set Nuts up make him think he was an easy target a ploy he learned shooting pool  lose a littlelose a littlelose a little Awcomon man let me try to get even fumbles in his pocket for trammeled bills couple of tensOhmuthafucker! Twenties! onehundred dollars worth of crumpled bills tossed onto the green felt  Man lemme try to get even 

Greed is a beautiful thing 

People just cant help themselves

If its too good to be true it aint true 

                                     but he pithed Nuts when he lost three straight tenspots 

Ya gotta spend money to make money

Yeah, alright, man, are you sure yawanna play for a hunred? 

nod dumbly  sip at another shot of whiskey whispering I stole that money off mah kid brother he can afford to lose it fuckin corporate moneybags  Nice car  Fancy clothes  Asshole keeps a money jar cash  Not change penny ante shit  Paper  Leaves it in his livingroom  On display  Tries to shame me or anybody 

Alright, man. A hunred.

Hunred  You break

nice break  eightball  up four when Nuts turns the table over

tables over 

Thank you he says his best Elvis Presley impersonation Thank you very much

on to the next pool hall just ahead of the Nuts his fuckin mark and Nuts clutch of outraged friends You were hustled, man!

Lifes a hustle bend your elastic mind around it

Dont be no stout oak tree always a sapling pliable  bendy

You grow roots  youll get torn out by them
                                             his father told him when he was a boy in the backyard cutting the lawn pushing a steelwheel rigid wood T-handled mower Keep it movin’, boy, movin'. It’s hard to hit a moving target; mighty hard. I know. Almost got me killed more than once. 

he was a Nam vet      

they would have driven him nuts  though he was near far from nuts
                                                                     flickering insubstantial light teasing teasing  reminding him that it  Death  is inevitable he will fail being a human being is ultimately to fail Lifes standard an hallmark is Aint a soul whos proved to be immortal 
                                                       systems fail

You're system, buddyboy, will fail.

Ain't a damn thing you can do about it.

No  he was never far from provocationwound tight 
                                                      its upside

he was as far from the comfort of a grave as he could be

2326,  Sunday,  26  6. 19

1540,  Twosday,  2  7. 19