thrice
that old tired
pathetic American saying Three times and youre out
Imagine that
if he was he wouldnt have been able to write these words To be sure
if he
remembered correctly if he could count on his remembrances as accurate an theyd
be more accurate than any fleeting memories or snapshots of others who could havemight have made of him
if he remembered correctly
thrice
threequarters of a jimson pod for
himself
he gave his brother the remaining
quarterhis first quarter a newlyminted Marine
home on leave a Marine he had to drop on
his head several times to wake him upthat he challenged his big brother and big brothers always have psychically
dominated their little brothers no matter how big their little brothers thought
they were
they only thought they were
inside they werent
if he remembered correctly and
that memory still blazes across his brain when he calls on it one only needs to be victimised to remember
what your predator did to youwho they were assailants never remember shit thats
because theyve violated more people than they can possibly remember and
sociopathspsychopaths cant remember
shit they act memory would be a luxury they
luxuriated in their violencewhat they perpetrated they were seeds of Datura stramonium a weed a
vagrant growing wherever it spewed
weeds dont have memories
they thrive where they can consume what they need
they thrive where they can consume what they need
he never felt badwould never feel bad
when he tore weeds out at their roots or beat senseless then anxiously pulling backrelenting so he didnt beat them to death
he wasnt Gawd although he was mightily tempted to put on His
pantsput on His shoes hold Grace by the hair
and let her blow Him
third times a charm pabulum yet another simpering pathetic coin of American currency
his brother threwup while munching the munch-a-bunch handful of seeds hed never had a particularly strong stomach
he was able to make his brother vomit when they were younger by hawking a loogieshowing him then swallowing it swallowing them provided him to savor raw oysters although he chewed them
they were at a friends place when he laid the jimson with him
then they were promptly separated by a factions of friends who wanted time with them independent of the other
he hadnt a clue where his brother ended up
he ended up at a small second floor bowling alley and bar in a low-rent Chicago district
the alley and bar was a sentimental favourite of his
he got a blow job from a bride-to-be who swapped him his cashmere sweater for her tube top
it was worth it
it was worth watching her get her breasts out of the tube top without hurting herself
Looks like that hurt
A bit.
I can kissem makeem feel better
Then shaddup an kiss.
Christ more than a handfulmore than a mouthful made he wish he was a snake a python a
boa that he could distend dislocate his jaw get
his mouth around his prey
after their delicious swapstanding beside outside her brandnew ride she yanked him forwardunbuttoned his pants Christ! these are a pain in the ass she gobbled his cock in the parking lot
he pointed Yagot a little something on your chest
she smiled like a deranged Cheshire Cat
got the dollop on her thumbnail
gobbled it too
Yer crazy Ya sure yawanna get married
He bought me this car.
He can afford me things I’d never be able to afford myself.
Yathink yad never be able to afford them yourself
Fuck you. I want them now.
theres that
his buddy Rich a preternatural discontent which was attractive to him confrontational they didnt agree on a damn thing except weed except hash except his kid sister who Rich was dating
Rich had given him a lift to the bowling alley he hadnt askedhe would have remembered if he had
his discontented buddy left him there when the jimson kicked in like an eager child in a sandbox among coloured toy trucks and molds to fashion play cities habitats places they imagined they could livelive away from everyone on their own
except Jim Son wanted him to play him play all the games Jim Son wanted to play otherwiseOTHERWISE hed take his ball and go home
at that threat he punched Jim Son in the face and cried Adios
he made his way to the broad staircase leading down
it roiled
it rolled and rolled over and overits steps on the wall the ceiling the wall he was no Fred Astaire HA Astaire
he hung onto his realityunderstanding of physics he stepped on the stairsSCREAMING as he did and turned on the walls went upsidedown and around and around until he made the octagonaltiled entry
going through the doubledoors the winter air hit him in the mouth like a featherweight itd get points but it wouldnt have put him away hed taken his share of punches
he walked off into the night
the railroad tracks rose like vipers and twined about each other
he kept them at a distance
he paralleled them
following themtheir writhing would eventually lead him into town where he lived
his breath smoked out of him
it made curious signswords in the frigid air but like a foreignspeaker hearing or seeing he heard and saw but ignored themaccepting his willful ignorance because he was seeking safety he wasnt safe he was aloneby himself had to fend for himself ACCOUNTABILTY he thought it was good that he recognised recognised what reality was amid the concussive swarming irreality trees waving at himwhispering rocks piling atop of each creating soapboxesimaginative audiences concretepaved streets lappingsweeping over their curbs their containment making easements lawns grass submit to their oppressive will
he ignored the cacophony
it wasnt real
he ignored the inanimate animated
they werent real
making his neighbourhood sidewalks crackling under his feet revealing black abysses and flickering hellfire
HA he wasnt a believer
stumbling
helped
to his feet by helpful hedgerows Keep
walkingkeep walking Only fourfive blocks
away from safety encouraging hedges a block and a half from home
a wide avenue slobberinggone viscous quivering wavy googlyeyed denizensviperfish swimming in it between him and the other bank
he took his chances
he was a strong swimmer
and they really didnt exist
they howledscreamed as they came upon him then avertedswung wide went around him
gratefully
evidently they hadnt the belly to
run him down
making the opposite bank he
staggered to his feet wiped away
nonexistent sludge and clinging water staggered staggered he was exhausted
yelloweyes hadnt appearhadnt offered to help
lavalamp hermaphrodite hadnt appeared eitherhadnt offered to help
maybe threequarters pod left him to his Druthers
and his Druthers were introverted his Druthers invisible his Druthers were himselfwhat he learnedwhat he brought to the tablewhat would either serve him or hed fall Rightfuly so simpering in the backgroundwhitenoise Gawd helps those who help themselves aint in the Bible Franklins Almanack yetstill addled he had a knack to shake free reality
collapsing in the basement of his parents house on the cold inviting concrete floor in the familiar scentmusk of roughcut nineteenhundred timber of sour brick foundations
his last nonhallucinationlast reality he wondered where his brother was how he fared
1632, Sunday,
16 6. 19
1249, Moanday,
17 6. 19
Ghostpoet Dial Tones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4LtIDmP-xk
Fred Astaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac6o8PXthzQ
Ghostpoet X Marks the Spot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEMmtikjmx4
