he worked his way over to the bar through milling people square concretetopped immoveable tables and tall backed stools

 

the tables and seats never made any sense to him  unless they were there to peel off or cull crowdsforce the overspill outside onto the bricked patios at its front and side which overlooked a keen treelined creek or were to force people into the beer garden behind the bar  the razorwire serpentined atop its tall walls were meant as a joke  and since the bar allowed dogs it wasnt odd to see an occasional Doberman or Shepherd which clarified its panache electrified its ambiance nothing like a sudden sharpsnarl to help you gulp your beer  No worries, man, he doesnt bite  me.

he didnt expected the crowd

he stopped for a beer and to catch the end of the game 

he liked that the bar kept the large flatscreen mutedplayed music over it rather than favoured the inane yak of announcers he didnt need to be told what he was seeing

he was surprised when he entered that several of the stools at the bar were vacant  a string of four seated on the stool beside the wall which began the empty string was a disheveled patron who loosely held his etched glass stein it was a gimmick from when the bar opened years ago  people paid a tidy sum each month to retain one the steins hung from hooksthree deep above the bar evidently one enjoyed a certain notoriety by having a monogrammed stein but either he didnt like his initials enough or hed be shamed that he couldnt keep up with the spendythrift alchiesthe regulars who had one

he took the third stool from the wall leaving an empty one between him and the inebriated man who he thought was mumbling to himself later he realised he was talking to someone via Bluetooth mike and earbuds

it had been more fun to think he was talking to himself

the barmaid approached him  Whats your name kiddo

Bailey.

Bailey Im Joe  May I have the black double IPA please

You betcha, coming up, Joe.

Thank you

The world’s evil, man, it’s going to hell in a handbasket.

overhearing disheveled he couldnt help but wonder why they werent more original

Evil, man, the world’s evil. It’s going to hell in a handbasket.

Hey, man! The world’s evil, it’s going to hell!  I’m talking to you!

disheveled wasnt even looking at him You talkin to me 

Yeah, man, I’m talking to you.

since when were conversations concluded with no goodbyes no Talk with ya later

Bailey set the pint down on a coaster 

Thank you Bailey he said as he handed her a card to keep his tab open 

she smiled quicklykept her upper body tilted from the hips towards himaffecting a casualthough terribly effective subtle display of cleavage like smooth peeled hardboiled eggs  tough to top young supported breasts

I’m talking to you, man.

Actually youre interrupting me he said as he admired Baileys ass as she walked away hence was the audacious weight of unvarnisheduncut heterosexual eyes Yah Interrupting me Whawereya saying

he finally looked at him or as best he could as his eyes rolled drunkenly in his head I’m talking to you.

You were saying

The world’s evil, man. Evil.

Based on what

Whaddaya mean?

Evil What are you basing its evilness on I ask because I dont believe in evil  Nothing or no one is evil

Whaddaya fuckin talkin about? The world’s evil!

Whats your basis

Awman. They cut that guy’s head off. I watched it online.

Lots of heads were cut off and posted onlineyou watched them all

Naw. That first guy.

The contractor  Berg

Yeah. Him.

Why did you watch that

My friends, all my friends, they watched it.

So they watched it and you had to watch it

They watched it, man.

So because they did you did  Idiot

It was horrible.

You didnt have to watch it to know it was horrible

I can’t forget it.

Twothousand four almost fifteen years ago Whadja expect If you have the slightest imagination you could imagine how horrible that video would be 

The horror the horror the horror Apocalypse Now Brandons Kurtz  Horror has a face  You must make a friend of horror  Horror and moral terror are your friends  If they are not then they are enemies to be feared  The tangled pile of amputated armsthe arms of village children who were inoculated  The men who cut them off had familieshad children  They did it to define the extreme they were willing to go  Japanese Kamikaze pilots  Horror creates psychological fear 

Those soldiersif you would  who beheaded Nick Berg were forced into war due to our hubris our belligerence our mockable exceptionalism When you fight American force as the Vietnamese did it is an asymmetrical war  The mujahideen took what the CIA taught them when they fought the Soviets and turned it on us  They deployed their IEDs suicide bombers They didnt have to attend the School of the Americas  which should have been an embarrassment to this country

Their horror is our due is our blowback 

No fuckin brainer 

And that you let your friends force you into watching something horrid some friends  But youre the fucking idiot

You  don’t  know  me he snarled

No  I dont  So you keep to your beersyour misery  Leave me alone



he didnt expect the crowd

he didnt expect that 

1818,  Sunday,  20  1. 19

1440,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  23  1. 19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKpU-KRYSLk

Hubris  Rachel Maddow  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5FaMbnINwc

the Administration negotiated the shutdownthey said theyd own itthey said they wouldnt blame the Democrats

why would or should Democrats afford them any face-saving measures? Mexico was paying for it  that was the campaigns promise

maybe the Trump/Pence ticket gets punched

1219,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  23  1. 19

725 days remaining or less

TRESemme Tres Prez

he had no idea that strong powerful menreal men applied TRESemme Tres Extra Hold hair spray 

Yes Donne if he can misspell words then so can I I didnt know that

                                                                                                                                                                                                                           1920,  Twosday,  22  1. 19
Cliff Sims  Team of Vipers  https://www.npr.org/2019/01/22/685429082/in-team-of-vipers-its-mr-sims-who-goes-to-washington

EXIT 222

              like he could resist that

he was a numbers junkie a slave to figuresthey ticked off in his head ran across the face of digital clocks ascendingdescending 12:34 6:54 3:45 3:21 static 11:11 liked more than he cared to admit 11:11 12:12  that morning as he hit the road it was 9:09 09:09 his mind argued Shaddup his interior dialogue the jibs the jabs argument settled reasonedtodeath no turning back

EXIT 222

          leered at him from the green informational sign along the 101

1 MILE

       he could relieve his bladder now  tank up  get a bite

he ran up the long inclined ramp to Santa Cruz

to the left was an In ‘N Out right gas at Circle K beef jerky

no argument

right gas up doubleback for burgers shake nix the jerky he didnt want to be sucking it out of his teeth for the next hour

Santa Cruz shined black wet on and off showers Circle Ks neon scribbled the asphalt ahead of him the rain rode on the gusting breeze the canopy above the gas tanks a red sliver throwing light down wasnt going to provide cover from it

ah it wasnt half a tank he was topping off hed be refreshed Well be refreshed Always the last fuckin word with you man Not always he only shook his head as he entered the station slipping left past PUMP 2 onto PUMP 4 being courteous because he was Because you got a glimpse of someone at 3 he had they concurred a flash of white cotton between the pylons supporting the canopy and the gas tanks 

                                           he didnt mind he called himself out he wasnt obvious some guys were oblivious to their obviousness asif they were due  it was their right he just lifted his eyesthanked his lucky starsnever looked a gift horse in the mouth

he killed the engine popped the gas cover with the lever by his knee 

he opened the glove box a flash of white directly oppositeright of him shortsleeve arm  and took out an envelope he kept his receipts in making notes of his mileage his wallet was behind it

he took out a twenty and a sawbuck he figured a return of change  prices had gone down out of the corner of his eye a shake of dirtyblonde hair it hung over her shoulder as she reached into her car through the open door on the drivers side a brief profile  calm a pinch of irritation

as he exited his car walked along and turned left behind it the rain suddenly picked up the wind blew AwChrist he heard her mutter he saw her back shiver as she stood uprightlike someone would if you slipped an icecube down their backBAM the gas nozzle fell out of her car she spunfacing it but he already had crossed to it snagged it up and was snapping the handle lever to kill the flow of gas he startled hershe jumped involuntarily she jiggled she would have won handsdown a wet tshirt contest if they had one in the moment 

Why dont you get back in the car out of the rain Ill finish this for you

No. You don’t have to . .

. . I dont Warm up in the car Ill finish this 

Are you sure?

I am as sure as youre getting wetter

inadvertently she shivered again Shivers become her Then if you’re sure. Thank you.

Atta girl  Youre welcome

he glimpsed her watching him through the sideview mirror not turning her head using her eyes Subtle 

when he finished pumping the gas he collected the receipt and gently rapped on the window 

she rolled it down all the way

There you go beautiful

Thank you.

You’re all wet.

he broke his eyes from hers looked at her peaked breasts looked at her messed hair looked back in her face So are you

she laughedshe didnt cover her mouth

he laughed with her

Say she said I was going to have a cup of coffee, a bite to eat at In ‘N Out . .

. . Was my plan too . .

. . Ohgoodness!

Perhaps were likeminded

she smiled Perhaps we are.

Could I buy you a cup of coffee?

Id enjoy that thank you

Oh. You’re welcome.

Ill finish gassing my car and join you 

Okay. her wide eyes shined Circle K neon scribbled in them Okay. That would be nice.

Itll be very nice Off you go Ill walk behind you so you dont run me over 

she burst into another gale of laughter  interrupted it  You’re funny! and continued laughing

he could hear her laughing at his back over her engine as she started the car and pulled away

Walk behind you so you dont run me over Shaddup

1737,  Saturday,  19  1. 19

1123,  Sunday,  20  1. 19

Martin Luther King, Jr. 

                         . . . now is the time to make real the promises of democracy

thats what Pences quotedsuggested what the FAKE PRESIDENT was trying to do

it is appalling the lack of empathy humility these Republican leaders exhibit

1837,  Monday,  Martin Luther King, Jr.,  21  1. 19

727 days remaining or less

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zpapm3gAPZs

Letter from Birmingham Jail  https://web.cn.edu/kwheeler/documents/Letter_Birmingham_Jail.pdf

back  back in the old neighbourhoodsidestepping its old stories and avoiding its new teeth 

he lived in it from nine to twenty and twenty only because it took him all that time to make enough money to leaveto blow town  it wasnt easy

it drove him nuts             

leave town

escape

         debatable

nuanced

it wasnt a bad neighbourhoodnothing to bitch about growing up he just didnt want to be theredidnt want to think hed have to live there everybody has a right to live where they wanted  

where that was for himself he wasnt aware then 

he intended to roam for a while roaming he figured hed find where that place wasmight be 

how would he know if he didnt go

Man, you have roots here; you’re whole familys here. Don’t you see you’re knocking their home?

Knocking No  If theyre living where they want to live thats their choice  Likewise Im welcome mine

he drew his breath through his teeth Yah, well, I’m staying on because my family’s here.

Thats on you  But youre an idiotan idiot if you wanna be  live  elsewhere   Its on you

he headed up Crescent to Greenwood away from the elementary school he went toaway from the junior high kittycorner to it

    huh why he was on the southside of the street rather than the north was beyond himmaybe he wasnt paying attention  nah he was there were some kids in a garage playing Deep Purples Smoke on the Water doing a bangup job thats what kept him south

they played in a new houseyet one more of the newlyconstructed houses in the old neighbourhood it wasnt gentrification no this was and always had been was a nice neighbourhood people kept up on their property maintained their houses it was the newcomers they had money or their families didthat was nobodys business so they bought the lots not the houses then they razed the old houses block after block lots bought houses razed 

he stayed south to stick his head in the garage and tell the kids who played that the house that stood next doorwest of them a kid who lived there had a garage band and they also played a mean rendition of Purples Smoke he would have given someone elses left nut to hear the bands battle  knit times into one 

he had an affection for that band couldnt remember its name because its throbbing bass shrieking guitars drum signature came up through the floorboards trembling the bedroom above them that bedroom belonged to one of the sister of one of the band members  stoned shed climb on top of him spread her legs  they laughed raucously as the band did their bumpingrindinfuckin for them a song ended before the next began they swapped positions

the kids werent impressed So yeah, thanks, man.

No you fucks Thank you he hadnt thought of her in a long time his cock stiffened

afterwards he crossed Crescent to what had been a church parking lot when he was a boy  it bordered his paper route territory 

the parking lot had been razed 

the church west of it across Delphia had also been razed 

Delphia was razed too

somebody with bags of loot had bought themuprooted asphalt concretepulled down the cross and replanted the denuded acres with natural Illinois prairie

                                    and fenced it in

furthur north on the property they built their manse

it was quite a scandal 

no matter how legitimate 

turned out through shell companiesshell people he bought out many of the homes to either side of Delphia razed them then threw in a cul-de-sac for few remaining homes even furthur north towards Touhy that he wasnt able to get his hands on de facto private eminent domain transactions who knewhe didnt know that that existed evidently greased with enough money anything can exist lotsa luck with immortality muthafuckers

he climbed the fence no johnnycomelately was going to spoil his walk back through timehow he walked home as a kid from school 

wandering thighhigh through native grasses and wildflowers he came on a slender path

evidently he wasnt the only one who defied fences 

                                                      and lo and behold a fellow trespasser walked towards him

he raised his hand hailing him Hello he called

Hello.

muthafuck he recognised him he didnt remember his namenot that he would remember his he remembered his indelicate transgression  he fucked his girlfriend upstairs at a party while he was downstairs 

he heard they stayed in the neighbourhood  got married

she was a sweet piece of ass  he remembered thats what she told him he was a sweet piece of ass she fucked him  blew his mind  then he didnt think women thought in those terms why didnt he because he was young and shallow she educated himgave him depthhelped shape his substance when he left he didnt forget  he took that with him

he sowed those seeds a fuckin Johnny Appleseed

Havent seen you in years

You either. Heard you were gone for good.   

Good riddance.

that irked himhe was sufferably irkable Yeah Otherwise you know you would have seen me around

he said something he didnt catch Let sleeping dogs lie he cautioned himself they didnt break stridesidestepped each other kept to their own paths

pedestrians are oddfellows

as he walked old memories oozed in around his toes like warm mud as if he was barefoot they tickled him

0544,  Friday,  18  1. 19

1241,  Monday,  Martin Luther King,  21  1. 19

Pavement  Cut Your Hair  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq6tUKwvfNw

Hit the Plane Down https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ix8LlpLjjk : I buried you because the sun/Will melt you

The Midas Touch

                      everything Trump touches dies

she rose up like a swirl of smoke from a fire out of a large square hot tub  he could hear the water seethe

he couldnt see her well  he had come in from out of doorsout of the brilliant sunlight how did she make the room so dark the candles flicker so slowly their light scarce embers

and she standing before him  small  indistinct  he knew her only by the music of her voice  Come she said she slowly reached out to himher hands shoulderhigh  he reached to hertheir palms mettheir fingers entwinedher hands were wet and warm  she was fragrant  he smiled at her subtle erotic pose 

after several moments standing together  intimate  he let go of her left hand and ran his right arm around herpressing her forwardher body to his he wished he was naked so he could feel her tight against him he lifted her up out of the churning tub feeling only the weight of her breasts against himher hips just above his she was so smallso small in his arm

she leaned her wet forehead against his lips her hairher widowspeak brushed his nose  he held her he inhaled her
it was by these that he truly knew it was her

it had been such a long time

softly he set her down on the bathmat touching her toes to it first then letting her down slowly completely to her feet  releasing her she untwined her fingersdrew her hand from his and stepping right separated scarcelyamoment she reached back to him and took his left arm at the wrist and lead him towards the bedroom that was around the
corner lit softly  shimmeringembers candlelight

Come she said Make a movie. in her voiceher anxious movement he sensedhe knew  she was very happy

it had been such a long time

0540,  Friday,  18  1. 19

1147,  Saturday,  19  1. 19

tits

tits  ohbrutha

                he had a hard time tolerating shorthand some people used as they texted although it was probably appreciated among intimates who texted frequently 

he didnt 

        not with anyone 

for his purposeand everyone has their purposehe wasnt one to knock anyone for what they deemed necessary to their lives and lifestyle however a cellfone to him was nothing more than a mobile telephone booth  he entered itturned it on when he needed it he wasnt slavish to its abject necessity as advertised  the assumption that everyfuckingplace someone went or was that it was necessary to have instantaneous communication

consider the built-in guilt -- you didnt response to my textyou didnt answer my callI know you have your cellfone with youon your person

he was simplehad a simple reality 

                                     he was middleaged before computers and cellfones assaulted his senses and what remained malleable in his brain he gave overfullblown to the artsnot CG history and literature  and politics 

as a matter of fact in order to make politics palatable to his children who were otherwise disengagedcouldnt be bothered with the countrys machinations which were critical to their lives and futures couldnt be bothered -- how had his daughter put it -- Ahyes  she wrote in a letterwho writes letters? this was the first letter in a long time that she had written to his many many letters she wrote I’m not going to get into President Dick Wad. Not worth my time and energy. – it was curious that as he read her letter Strawberry Fields Forever played behind him Living is easy with eyes closed / Misunderstanding all you see / It’s getting hard to be someone / But it all works out / It doesn’t matter much to me – it mattered a great deal to him hed be damned if he let his children and grandchildren to be ignorant  

so to make politics palatable he called them politickles in his letters and emales 

they could choose to ignore what he shared but that wasnt going to stop him from including them sometimes an entire missive was nothing but politickles  he supposed they might just enjoy looking at his handwritinghis bright red ink 

his letters were visually engagingintriguing  peoplelooking over his shoulder often asked him what language was he writing in if it was a foreign language why would they assume he spoke English   

he savored making their interruption obviousdropping his pen on the papersighing then leaning back on the chairs two hindlegs hed look up blandly into their face  for a while  they got skittish realising they were rude  then he replied English

Jesus, Dad, you don't have to be rude.

Rude Tell me the last time you recall me sticking my nose ininterfering in someone elses business

Okay. Maybe not rude, rude was a poor choice of words, but  more  gentle, kind.

Tit for tat baby  Tit for tat

tits

he couldnt stand acronymssomebody thought they were clever USA PATRIOT Act  wooh an acronym an act which has corrupted the country since it was passed one sensible senatorWisconsins Russ Feingold represented the American people  frankly the world breathtaking that Wisconsin replaced him with inane Ron Johnson fuck it! replaced Feingold with an asshole  woooh 

the 2001 acts name is Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism  it destabilised the Middle East and caused untold horror death an enormous and enduring waste of money yet you had to be blind not to see that coming

acronyms repelled himtheir use disgusted him  particularly because they related to specific cultures  their use is to exclude anyone who isnt of that culture it isnt a stretch to suggest they are unAmerican 

rather
       say what you fucking mean dont be ambiguous hide behind equivocation make euphemisms
speak plainly

the impoverishmentthe culling of public discourse made him ill 

Mein Kampf  one had to be a fool not to follow Hitlers intentions  he got it when he read the book at eleven  
. . . propaganda should be popular and should adapt its intellectual level to the least receptive ability of the least intellectual of those it is desired to address . . . The receptive ability of the masses is very limited, and their understanding is small; on the other hand, they have a great power of forgetting. This being so, all effective propaganda must be confined to very few points which must be brought out in the form of slogans.

GO Adolph!

he wasnt suggesting arguments ought to be dumbed down  rather that specialised speech  acronyms  propaganda serve those who use it      

tits  

     evidently he could be culpable too

he loved tits

tits  texted it to self

he was in the habit of using tits
                                  he didnt think any redblooded woman or man would fault him

0737,  Twosday(appropriate),  15  1. 19

1315,  Friday,  18  1. 19

The Beatles  Strawberry Fields Forever  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtUH9z_Oey8