You’re not going to forget the twins? You understand it is my duty, my duty, my moral obligation, responsibility . .

. . Dont get carried away with yourself . .

. . Don’t interrupt me, it’s my obligation . .

. . Obligation better  I dont like being associated with morals  Hemingway said of morals  if afterwards it feels good it was moral  if it feels bad it was immoral

I didn’t know that.                                                                                                                    

No You wouldnt Thats why Im here  To edumacate you                                                                

Yeah, right; as it’s my obligation to enunciate the stories you’ve shared with me that should be memorialised in your blog.

Yaknow  for someone who hasnt read it you certainly have a keen appreciation for it

I don’t need to read it. I know you. I’m getting milk straight from the cow . .

. . Cum  from the bullplease . .

. . Christ. If half the shit you tell me you put into print, that I don’t put past you, because you’re you, deadly honest, woefully consistent . . . well, why aren’t you dead?

Dead

Dead. You don’t back down.

Why would anyone back down from something they know to be true or believe in

Because they might get hurt.

Hurt Hurts temporary  Lying to yourself is mortal

Hurt still hurts.

Fuck that  it simply reminds you youre aliveHA  Makes one mindful  Like the thousandanone apps people can download onto their fones to remind themselves day to daymebbe hour to hour  Apps  Because theyre idiots

Ouch. That’s harsh.

Idiots harsh  Not when its true   You really need to be reminded to be mindful

People are busy these days, have a lot on their plate.

People have always been busy  Technology  Being connected That shoves them along They dont stop an shove back

You can say that because you’re not connected.

I can say that because connected aint connected  Its being a worthless cog  Lacking respect for ones self  Being an idiot imbecile a fuckin moron  I think I got it right  Were living here in California home of eugenics oneohone  The state certainly got Hitler yanking his pud

Pud?

Yah

Who says pud anymore?

Im reviving it  Id think you and many other menprobably women might be happy for a revived pud  takin some starch to it  rising to the occasion  run a flag up the mast maststiff

Just make it up as you go along, don’t you?

Whynot

Yes. Why not.

Exactly

The twins? Did you recall their names?

Nah  I can see emsee where they livedremember skulking past their house in hopes of catchinJesusChrist Got it  Sellgren

Sellgren? That’s what, Swedish?  That’s blonde.

They were blonde

You just remembered?

I did

Funny how that works. When was the last time you thought of them?

Prior to last week

Yeah.

Probably not long after that partythey situated themselves out of my league Though I thought it was nicereally nice  that they knew who I was despite me not knowing that My kid sister was their agethey probably knew me through her They only lived a couple blocks west of our immediate neighbourhood  a small development up end houses Once it was skein of paned glass greenhouses A nursery

Your league?

Stop You know what Im talking about We did that as kids When I got out of the neighbourhood there wasnt a girl alive who was outside my league  Balls to the wall baby You could tell me nodidnt hurt my feelings an I was on to the next women But I let them tell me no I wouldnt assume it Not like when I was youngwhen I was in the neighbourhood   Dig

I . . maybe . I do.

You do  Your old man was a doctor You had a car at sixteen You were always in play whether you knew it or not

I suppose . .

. . You supposedont be dense You had pocket money the car You didnt work prior to high schoolin high school At SC  Did you

No.

No

But I never kissed twins. In the same night. One after the other.

Yahbut I was stupid I should have kissed them a second timekissed them again pitting twin against twin That said we were stoned getting more stonedshotgunning them  Shotgun was fuckin sensual I cant tell you the number of girls I shotgunnedheld by their headstheir hair blew jets of smoke into their mouths  our mouths not an inch apart

Ive heard of it. Shotgun.

Maryjanes legal Yaint deadya oughta give it a huff an a puff an blow some gals down

Sellgren.

Yah Sellgren Out of nowhere   Regrets named Sellgren

1532,  Twosday,  6  11. 18

1235,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  11. 18

http://www.campbellmgold.com/archive_esoteric/morons_imbeciles_idiots.pdf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vlAdMeZSfw

Magic Man he says in thirdperson of himself (I think he has sex with himself and disappointed he takes it out on Melania thats her nameright?)

Ahwell  she made her bed  now she has to sleep in it with Mace

evidence

          these tweets:

@realDonaldTrump

“There’s only been 5 times in the last 105 years (you can feel him flogging his cock) that an incumbent President has won seats in the Senate in the off year election. Mr. trump has magic about him. This guy has magic coming out of his ears. He is an astonishing vote getter & campaigner. The Republicans are …….

@realDonaldTrump

“…..unbelievably lucky to have him and I’m (thats got to be a mistake – I think he meant “he’s”) just awed at how well they’ve done. It’s all the Trump magic – Trump is the magic man. Incredible, he’s (there you go – he got it right this time) he’s got the entire media against him, attacking him every day, and he pulls out these enormous wins.” Ben Stein, “The Capitalist Code”

Im not one who can or would or knows how to talk in third person

                                                       

                                                                     Mebbe he is magic

Mebbe he can taps the heels of his rubyred slippers together and chant falsetto There’s no place like home; Oh, there’s no place like home  where he and Chris Kobach can roll in the grass together imagining theyre doing somersaults in the sunset  then afterwards dipping animal crackers in glasses of cold milk

2257,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  11. 18

803 days remaining or less

Heart  Magic Man

they usually met once a week for a beer   

a single pint

his brotherinlaw named their gathering a putsch after the Great Munich Beer Hall Putsch that sent Adolf Hitler to prisonsharpened his pencils helped spewdrool Mein Kampf

if he had been a dog rather thanan its debatable  a man  a pound or someone might have recognised the glintthe sliver of black malice in his eye an put him down snarlingsnarl growl

Too badhuh this taproom doesnt serve in steins or tankards drinking horns! Ill have a horn of cold beer shopkeep Fetchindoncha think  a barmaid  her hand wrapped aroundcarrying a horn topped with a large frothy head 

What the fuck are you talking about? 

You kiddin meyou cant see thatthats not appealing to you

Man, something occurs to you and youre off on a dead run. Can't shut you up?

Really Youd want to shut me up A dullard like you . .

. . Hey! . . 

. . Heywha  Shut me up I shine light into your dark corners Im more fuckin entertainin than a barrel of monkeys flinging shit at schoolkids munchin popcorn outside the barred cages bawlinburstin into tears when either they drop their redstriped paperbags or find their buttery popcorn speckled with loose feces or a big fat turd plopped on top

Jesus, man! You wanna pull back, stop the description; My God. 

Visualhuh

Visual? You’re graphic.

Graphic Thank you I shoot for graphic Leaves no doubt in anyones mind

No doubt, that’s an understatement.

Thanks again

You’re welcome he grudgingly admitted  

So, I gotta ask you, you realise that often you tell a joke and it’s only you who laughs at it because your references are so oblique, so . . . so fucking obscure?

You get a good quarter of my jokes

Yah, though usually after you explain them to me.

Theres that but youll admit after I explain them to you you do laugh you HAW! I get it.

A joke shouldn’t be that difficult.

Or maybe the audience ought to be better informed

Some people haven’t that kind of time or interest.

Then Im informing them of things that are transactional in their lives whether they know it or not Besides if only I enjoy the joke then thats plenty for me Blatant ignorance just piques my humoursends me over the moon

1615,  Twosday,  30  10. 18

1239,  Twosday,  6  11. 18

Jinsil  Get Back  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddNHDTr4tJ0

Jinsil – just because I like it  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-N8tQhZ-Gw

he was sleeping deeply

                       deeply

then the quiet dark he inhabited began fracturinghe was waking awakening from the outside in wakening to a tussle high between his thighs

                         and as a very thin consciousness began to emerge  flakey  insubstantial his ears began to fill softly with Neil Youngs A Man Needs a Maid  hhummed at first then the words explicit 

                                                                                            a while ago I don’t know when  I was watching a movie with a friend I fell in love with the actress she was playing a part that I could understand

a cat kneads a cock 

hhuh it hung in the back of his throat hypnagogic

                                                                  a cat kneads a cock

rousing

         the puzzle pieces began coming together    

his kitten october  not that she knew  kneaded his cock                                                                                           

he slept on his back his legs apart

he had two cats

indie slept between his calves

she slept higher up 

he laid beneath a pair of blankets and a sheet 

night temperatures were dipping into the 50s

he slept with the window beside the bed wide open fresh air drifting through the screen

as morning dawned hummingbirds returned to the feeders he hung outside 

one hung directly across from the bedroom window

their chirps fluttering wings their sudden bolts besieged octobershe hopped atop the chest and then down to the sill 

his sleep had learned to ignore her now hhumdrum anticshad learned to ignore her stealthily returning to bed  

but this was a new twist

were always learning

a cat kneads a cock

Neil needed a maid

0007 & 0954,  Monday,  5  11. 18

Neil Young  A Man Needs a Maid  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bORW_YEmHwY

Told im told im   change your evils ways change em No  an fittingly he slipped on a banana peelcracked his skull knocked his hair implants askew

                                      now he looks the ostrich part hell play just before he buries his head in the sand   

Take a deep one

                one last deep breath as the wheels come off your petty red wagon

0907,  Twosday – Election Day,  6  11. 18

804 days remaining or fewer

Steppenwolf  The Pusher  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XqyGoE2Q4Y

he walked across a concrete apron that slippeddescended to meet the asphalt street and spanned the mouththe threshold of an alleyway fixed to the west by an uninspired painted concrete block commercial building and east by a line of young trees which delineated the business park property from the Church of Christs graveled parking lot compound and open grass field

the wind swept south anointing him with its breath and the freshfallen leaves from maples plums aspens and sycamores  they spun across his path and gently pelted his feet and legs caressing himhe imagined  as an old woman might who hadnt made love in a long time and was unsure how to touch him

Hey baby he mused aint nobody so old that theyve forgotten how to ride that bicycle

she cringed  No. Not since my husband died. And that’s been a long time.

Then you were uninterested in men  His death stole life from you

No, no. I was fortysix. My children were grown; they were off living their lives. However what they said, how they acted, made me feel as if I were to go out with other men I’d be tarnishing their father’s memory.

Did they say as much

No, not outright. They hinted. Their father, they knew, left me without any need or want; he left me with generous resources, the house was paid for. They urged me to remain in church, to donate my time to the disadvantaged, the needy.

Maybe they thought you owed him  And maybe they didnt recognise you were a woman

My children, as we raised them, are devout. They believe the church could sustain me, provide for my needs.

Are your children selfish  That seems selfish to meto assume what someone else might need To assume for their mother As if you hadnt a brain in your head A heart beating in your chest

No, theyre not selfish.

If your children dictate to you for their comfort I have to disagree

No. My children care, they care. My husband provided for them too, they’re secure.

Okay  I wont press the point   Are your children in relationships

My daughter is married. One of my sons is married, the other is in a long relationship.

And your husband is dead

My husband is dead.

Well as I said we dont forget how to ride that bicycle

he took her to bed

                        afterwards she told him that was the first time she ever took a mans penis into her mouth

gently he remarked The first time ever

Then youre a natural baby

But lets call it what it is

What it is?

Yes

What is it?

Its a blowjob giving head

That’s a blowjob? I’ve always wondered what a blowjob was. Huh.

she smiled It was nice what you did between my legs.

You have a nice pussy  Tasty too

she blushedshe smiled bigshe didnt cover her mouth  then she snatched the pillow from out behind her head and covered her face

he wanted to kiss her

she kept saying No through the pillow

Alright alright  Then you leave me no choice

a muffled No! came through the pillow  No!

he went down on her

No!  No! she wiggled her hips  No!   Yes.  Yes. Ohyes. Yes. 

                                                            he couldnt hear her anyways she had him my his ears then his hair his ears his hair

she almost busted his lip

he figured now shed be alright    

screw her kids 

if she wanted  the world could be her oyster

texted: 1142,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  31  10. 18

1140,  Monday,  5  11. 18

there was a little game his immediate family playedactually he was late to it  anif he was correct the game began between his son-in-law and youngest daughter 

his youngest was very protective of her sister as might be with sisters he couldnt say it was so between brothers or not so much he had five younger brothers  possibly within the realm his youngest daughter held he only questioned his brother who was a year younger than he

he asked him if he knew what he was doing

his brother had proposed to his girlfriend  

he asked him if he really thought it throughthought it through thoroughly  understood what he was getting into 

his brothers girlfriend was pregnant there were op..NO he didnt softpedal it he didnt like euphemisms people hid behind them 

             Have you discussed aborting the fetus A pregnancy is a poor reason to get married I ask because I havent heard you say you love her

not unreasonable he provoked a nasty response 

however not the response he expected

it was a shrill condemnation that he . . 

                                         Whoa You marrying her has nothing to do with me Ive my own life  Im asking because I love you You might remember several months ago you came to our fourplex and stayed with us for a week when you went through a scarea fucking scare that she was pregnant Which you followed up with a couple months later  a Thanksgiving table announcement  We might be pregnant Might be pregnant  You dontit still gripes me you dont announce you might be fucking anythingleast of all  We might be fucking pregnant   Brilliant

Two uhohs Couldnt figure out you might wanna wear a condom 

Anthen third times a charm Knocked up  And you know how much I hate that vernacular

the shrill condemnationexercised frantic excitement had nothing to do with him suggesting an abortion rather he his brother said had no honorhe didnt know what honor was

Honor

Ya fuckin kiddin me

                     out of the blue in drops Hemingwaykicks a hole in the side of his head  Honor A Farewell to Arms Abstract words such as glory, honor, courage, or hallow  were obscene beside concrete names of villages, the number of roads, the names of rivers, the number of regiments and the dates.

Brother you can take your military conscienceyour government issue  GI  a Marine is just another GI  to bend to or kneel to orders to be subservient No  my wordsmy actions are my honor  if and I wouldnt had to scar them with your honor

his kid brother got married and had a baby

he said he loved his baby

                  

his youngest was protective of her sister she found it hard to think that any man was good enough for her  

thats what she told him

thats what she told him when they were separate and away from her sister

they had a meeting of the mindsthe hearts the two them sitting on top of a stout oak diningroom table in a house rental on a lake in Iowa for his parents fortieth wedding anniversary all night

he went to bed they were talking when he woke in the morning they were still talking they didnt get off the table and quit talking to go to sleep until breakfast was being prepared

they have an intimate history and amid their historyhe never understood or wanted to know who first said it 

said But secretly

for instance Did you want a slice of apple pie

Yes please but secretly I want my apple pie heated and served ala mode French Vanilla ice cream topped with a sensual sticky drizzle of caramel and a cognac beside a Rose Bone China cup of hot black hazelnutflavoured coffee

Secretly but not so secretly he didnt want people trying to excuse their actions because they heard some people or them or they say their action was admissible

WHO

      Dont tell me them or they somebody Tell me exactly who these people areName them Anif you cant name them then its on youall on you you have no cover You decidedyour decision You are accountable

he was sick and tired of people eluding their responsibilitynot being held accountable hiding behind pronouns

he wasnt sure they knew what a pronoun was

had he his druthers they didnt sound attractive  having them might frighten him but if he had his druthers hed throw them in a celldetain them until they admitted either these others their names or were in fact responsible solely responsible

apparently But secretly most people prefer to lie

0923,  Sunday,  4  11. 18

Neil Young  Words  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HN53WZjCL_g

Bbubbles

           he called her thatshe let him she was goodhumoured effervescent  her bountiful breasts were lighter than air and stealthily tiptoed out of her brassieres her blouseswhatever containers she wore over them to hold them fastbut for moments Not so fast you silly boy The Mothers of Invention What Kind of Girls

                                                                             it wasnt that she was immodesty bounty doesnt really play well with modesty more so they were Houdinis  nothing could hold them 

he didnt complain 

he hadnt complained once since they first met 

                                                 they rose up to get a good look at himOHMYGODno quickly she threw her handfingers widespread across her bodice OHMYGOD a starters pistol  And theyre off Ladies and Gentlemen!

and they were out 

her genuine embarrassment only heightened her complexionrouged her already flushed cheeks blushedbeautifully offset her freckles which tumbled out of her hairline her widowspeak onto her forehead to her cheeks her chest and cleavage played happily across the tops of her shoulders and back and anticipated her large happy aureoles her sayHi! nipples 

he swore one day two daysthree days  a weektwo weeksthree he was going to strip her down naked and languished days and candlelit nights connecting her dots in all their ways varieties and variables 

Jesusquit talking about it already she said  Do it and meant it  she loved how he admired her freckles her breasts  and she knew that his softlydrawn lines or fingertracings his gently counting in her ears wouldnt stop  he would seek his pleasureseeking hers or while teasing her out of her mind for his pleasure alone he wouldnt stopSTOP wouldnt stop him but Peaches breathlessly murmured would

he said goodnighthe wanted to stay but she wanted her good nightshe wanted to sleep and if he stayed he wouldnt let her sleep  he wanted herwas obsessed with herwas obsessed with her body  every tiny bit of it 

he wasnt ever going to be satisfied

Good night, baby she said

Gnight buckwheat

backing down the driveway he threw his highbeams on lit her up

                                                                     Bbubbles in his high beams 

she smiled bigshe didnt cover her mouth  she curtsied her hands at the hem of her short nightgown 

Once a ham he called out his open window

Always a ham she cried back

                               and just before his headlights came off of her this time she helpedshe yanked her nightie down  her breasts came out and waved and blew him kisses goodnight 

one day shed make him lose his mind    

texted to himself:  0402,  Friday,  19  10. 18

1356,  Twosday,  30  10. 18