Malefeasance

the headline to the NPR article is  Trump Calls Kavanaugh ‘Outstanding,’ Dismissing Latest Sexual Misconduct Allegation 

which stands on the shoulders of The New York Times headline  Trump Defends Roy Moore, Citing Candidate’s Denial of Sexual Misconduct

which monkey piles atop The Atlantics  The 19 Women Who Accused President Trump Of Sexual Misconduct

its all so very seamy and consistent

 

1033,  Monday,  24  9. 18

847 days remaining or less

https://www.npr.org/2018/09/24/651085275/trump-calls-kavanaugh-outstanding-dismissing-latest-sexual-misconduct-allegation

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/21/us/politics/roy-moore-trump-alabama.html

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/12/what-about-the-19-women-who-accused-trump/547724/

      vulns

             in Walkaway every time he read the word it bothered him

used in context he was able to detecteke out a kind of continuitya frame-of-reference  however frame-of-references only take one so far  he had to know if the term vuln existed or if it was a fabrication of the writers fertile mind

finally weekes after he finished the book he conceded  he looked it up

vuln: a vunerability, especially one associated with computer security

                                                                         ah shorthand

(fucking computer geeks and their specialised vocabulary acronyms hiding in plain sightWhere’s Waldo? realities and common sense)

             Waldos a freak there was nothing attractive or inspiring about him a fucking bookmark frankly if Waldo had the misfortune of stepping out into the road ahead of him he wouldnt swerve to avoid him any more than the brilliantblue-infused buck he killed three years ago Waldo would be a fuckin idiot to play with fire

hed get burnt

probably his only disgust with the matter would be him having to dig Waldo clots out of his tire treads or strip his comicbook flesh out of his grillwork off his headlights      

humans had vulns

                    probably more ruinous to a human system than a coded programme 

but who was he to make such a call

                                      You must know that a persons ability to discern the truth is directly proportional to his knowledge (pg 68 The Third-Body Problem)

who was he to say when so often he heard so many people cop to convenient lies rather than ruminate or explain inconvenient truths

See that fucking hourglass over there? That’s my time you’re wasting, an I aint gonna get squat of it back because I explained myself to you.

because you arent worth the time

no ones worth the time

time briefly  is worth lying for

a whole new set of vulns

vulns placed inside a Venn diagram 

Worthwhile

Unworthwhile

what the fuck would that diagram look like

where would you start illustrating illuminating and despite its bright light who would really look and see

its hard to be patient for night vision to return after youve been lightblinded particularly if you think youre being pursued 

          are paranoid

It’s not a question of being paranoid, it’s a question of being paranoid enough.

he exercised practised carried a blade so he didnt waste his time with paranoia

he was a cut-an-dried kinda soul

late August, 2018

1601,  Saturday,  22  9. 18
 

Tool You Lied https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmkRHo4Vca4

another Old White Man

Senator Grassley ought to choke on a cob of corn No Heimlick manoeuvre for you

                                                                                  another Old White Man Who Thinks He Knows Best spreading his black authoritarian batwings and no longer bothering to hide his vampire fangs

Look into my eyes 

                    Daddy Knows Best ofcoarse

his black and whiteohsofucking black an white determination of white men about and over women about sexual assault it wasnt that bad if it was that bad she would filed police reports years ago

                                                                                       sez Male Republicans 

Grassley out of Iowa eightyfive years oldeightyfive years of his head up his crusty ass

0218,  Saturday,  23  9. 18

848 days remaining or less

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLwtcXzSyM0

it was crazycrazy at the foot of his bed appeared an amphitheatre he had a box seatthe stage and actors literally at his feet

they seemed not to know he was there utterly unselfconscious and playing at their stage marks as they rehearsed

their voices ran over each othera cacophony they moved like swift atoms on stage  bouncing off each other turned onto a new path new speeches the deliberate orchestration was breathtaking
                                                                          when one atom missed another or was late     or too fast the director stopped them Again!

Again!

       and Again! stabbing like a sharp knife into the hard body of their scripted conversations and argumentstheir purposed laughter laughter like madmen and madwomen

AGAIN!

just off left of center was a pond surrounded by large flatstones reeds small shrubs

the action and catcalls ran round and round the pond actors stumbled and fell into itwere helped up out of it or comically pulled up by their hipstheir arms flailingwater gargledtheir lives saved actors embracing You saved me! then Why did you save me?!
                        for at the far left end of the pond was a voluptuous maiden in a sheer wet white robe her breasts and nipples evident though playing peek-a-boo when she moved her shoulder or gestured with her hands and arms

she was beautiful her long blonde hair elaborately plaited was held back off her face by combs

she was the eye of the storm

all the actions and speeches ran around her

she fomented

she shrieked

              and when she was pleased with a particular admonishment she crossed her arms reclined and arched her right eyebrow which was to the audience
AGAIN!

the playwhich he had yet to follow  the actions and words too abrupt too briefly exposed was a maelstrom

he was drawn to its kinetics curious what eventually was going to grow from the havoc

STOP!

      STOP!   STOP!  Stop the harried director recognised his actors were as harried as he Okay. Take ten, twenty. Quietly. Seated. Close your eyes. Run your lines and see how you movedance across the stage.

all he had seen was frenetic motionno he lied he also saw that while no one else seemed aware he laid in his bed at their feet watching the demigoddess in the pond on occasion seemed to be aware of him when AGAIN! stopped the rehearsal she looked askance at him though more accurately he thought that she saw him but didnt believe her eyes  asif he were a mirage a trick played on her by her eyes

then with everyone settling downcatching their breaths she stood  she took an unseen towel from behind the flat rock she sat against and brusquely dabbed her robe at her breasts and loins absorbing water turning it opaque

then she walked directly towards him

her eyes seeing on his eyes 

You can see me he asked when she kneeled on the foot of his bed outside the plays plane or dimension  in his

I thought I saw someone. I couldn’t make them out. Then when we stopped I saw you.

No one else sees me

No. They don’t, I don't know why. 

I dont know You must admit however that it is queer you could walked off the stage onto my bed

And no one noticed I did.

No How could no one not notice you walking to the front of the stage he thought he surreptitiouslyscrupulously eyed the gap opened in her robe at her breasts

she smiled a smile he recognised I need to get out of my head.

The play and its action is very intense

It is difficult. And intense. Will you help me get out of my head?get out of my robe?

no dialogue has ever been written for such a request anif it were the playwright ought to be hung and gutted in a market square

he sat up off his arms that he propped himself up on near bloodless now and the blood flowingblood pounding in his ears he slowly pulled her robe open exposing her fruit that at a distance had been hinted at but unrevealed

her fruit exceeded the hint usually does

her lips curled into a wolfish smileshe was a demigoddess everything was at her fingertips nothing denied her she pushed him back onto his bed and crawled up so her full breasts were opposite his cock

she placed her hands on top her breasts and ground them onto his cockrocking side to sideup an down their eyes on each others eyes 

her tongue snapped like a wet towelshe pulled the thin blanket and sheet down his nakedness against her nakedness still she ground himground himhis breath catching in his throat Im out of my head she purred then she quit grinding her breasts agaisthis cock took him in hand licked his shaft lolled her tongue around its head kissed him long then slowly slowly  slowly took him in her mouth down her throat her breasts swinging with her gulps  swinging he arrested them handfuls of flesh a happy demigoddess getting out of her head
                                                                                             and into his                                                                                  

he nearly blacked out when he came

16 -17  9. 18 dream

1259,  Friday,  21  9. 18

Mazzy Star  Fade Into You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uJ61jgFCMM

nymphs will always turn a guys head

                                        his vision had gone hazy  in the steam room inside his eyeballsat their softpeeling edgesat their keen seeingpeering voyeurism hes given over to stealthy eroticism 

he knew something of nymphos

                                 he was a bit of a satyrhe remembered reading about Dionysus – that was a religionhuh -- the celebrants the gatherings the wine the orgies oh Dionysus  Tell metell me that doesnt sound titillatingsound outrageous  an sumptuous   

he was young he was immature the trouble then with him was that he idealised he preconceived Dionysus the women he imagined were on par with the young playmates he saw in the pages of 60s Playboys  the kindly retouchedthough unaltered unplasticised women who handed him his hard ons it was this kind of thinking that was illadvised likely presaging his denial of those who attended nudist colonies or frolicked at nude beaches 

                                                                                         readying to cast his net into the fruitful sea  he lets its physics go  lets its whirling over his head fail slackening  the net collapses  flaccid at his hip

get him a harpoon   

the fruitful sea snickers Whaddaya picky?

he was

he wasnt a drunken hypersexual goatman willing to fuck anyone

theres a knock at his door

an echoa clatter of hooves

theyd come to take his satyr card 

The Few, The Proud, The Goats

he lacked their mettle

they stood on the stoop outside his front door

he picked up his wallet out of a stoneware bowl on a shelf on his vintage entrance coatrack and bench

the card wasnt in his wallet

You’re not carrying your card?

Apparently not

You pledged to carry your card at all times.

No  Wrong  I sent fifty Bazooka Joe Bubble Gum Bazooka Joe and his GANG comic strips to get my satyr card 

I didnt pledge anything

their hooves clattered theyre nervous  theyre irritated   My God you’re an embarrassment. 

Heythere careful  Dont mar the concrete  I dont wanna hafta explain how the marks got there  

Cant you just expunge my name from your roleIll pen a quick affidavit you can witness that I acquit and forego all honors and privileges satyrs are bestowed in lieu of the cards absence

the satyr at the head of the small herd stroked his beard thoughtfully

he was quite taken by the beast he had a hard time unifying his serious countenance now with what he must look while he was rutting blind drunk and bawling

the leader eventually nodded acquiesced 

he quickly assembled and wrote the affidavit

he signed it 

they witnessed it

the leader rolled the paper and wedged it in the curl of his horn they were worthy of SCI and B&C record contention You may, however, regret your decision when you’re older; when either you can’t get your cock upnot a problem for satyrs or when women stop paying attention to you, let alone deny you sex.

Well  I could always blow my brains out

the leader nodded solemnly  

he tried to suppress his laughthen laughed wholeheartedly  Asshole! Theres more to life than fucking

solemnly  slowly   the leader shook his head no  he said You’re a neophyte. Ignorant.  then he blew a rocket of snot out of his muzzle onto the foyers parquetry  turned  and walked off

the queer clutch followed him

he supposed he deserved that visit

the nymphs which set off the circumstances of their visitation he dreamed the night before 

although those nymphs werent nymphos 

maybe he resented his unconscioushis sleeps deliberation

on his fingers and toes he worked his way around a steep stoneface above swift moving glasslike deep water his heels high above silhouettes of big black fish and gigantic sturgeons

he heard something coming down to the water through the forest whose limbs beyond the stone had beckoned him to pursue his course on the rock

nymphs emerged from the trees and bramble in hooded green cloaks over coloured robes 

in the ferns splayed at the waters edge they disrobed 

their naked skin was lizardlike iridescent  sleek  tinyscaled and when they stepped into the water he thought theyd plunge  they did not  they werent swallowed by the rivers depth a depth he was quite certain of from where he clung to the rock five metres above

it was asif the nymphs walked on a thermal under the waters face 

halfway across they were in a depth equivalent to a filled clawfoot bathtub 

they played midstream yelling like small happy children and splashed each other their skin in the sunlight shed brilliant prismatic beads their breasts and rumps jiggled

he clung like a bug to the wall

he was as inobvious to them as that a bug  

a watchful bug

       

dreamt early 19th morning,  9. 18

1433,  Thursday,  20  9. 18

Puscifer  Sour Grapes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCs4CL3ktUw

he was readinghe was always readingwalking and reading reading this reading that a fucking voracious readeralways was  he joked seriously he owned enough books that theyd be plenty to make a funeral pyre and reduce his bodyeven his femursthe largest bones in a human body to grit bypassing any need of running his remains through a cremulators steel ballbearing or rotorblades think blender

                                               he was reader

an adjutantobviously to his addictionreading had been the library

the library today is a different place than when he was a kid  the card index is long gone  shit was online  when he applied online for particular books or material and they were unavailable he made a point to walk over to the towns library and question the librarian why what he was looking for wasnt available  just to make sure that the librarythe crucible of knowledge hadnt devised a kind of censorship  often books he read were questionable  or inflammatory

or erudite  Johnsoneselook it up 

while reading When They Call You a Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir he found in its pages the mention of Spike Lees 2000 film Bamboozled which he hadnt seenhe was too damn busy then for entertainment  he wondered if he could get a copy through the library

going online he entered Search: Phrase: Bamboozled

the program asked: Did you mean Bombycillidae?

yahwhaddafuck 

HOW did Search know that he meant bombycillidae whats that  sounds like a disease HOW did Search know that he really wasnt interested in a satirical movie of a greasepaint blackfaced black mens minstrel show

Comon Search throw up your nonhands and admit NOdont offer me an option  worse an absurd option  B – o – m is not B – a – m

Bombycillidae  Genus  a bird a waxwing  a passerine bird  which means its feet are adapted for perching

just like his feet are made for walking

                                         to be fair if Search hadnt fucked up refused to motor through its programmingadamantly refusing not to allow him an option  it is likely he probably wouldnt ever have learned what Bombycillidae is or the name waxwing pretty slick or the adjective passerine

should learn something new every day until Life kills you

          

1554,  Monday,  17  9. 18

1157,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  19  9. 18

Salt-N-Pepa  Push It  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCadcBR95oU                                 Nancy Sinatra  These Boots Are Made For Walkin’  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rypT2qMO1RY

an old woman seated before a fire in Platos cave spoke to him

she said All families disappear eventually, even if it takes a long time.

he thought immediately of his immediate family

his wifes death made them three

difficult words to hear

his overarching family had a depth of sixtysix cousinshe knew all their namesthey knew his  they were of eleven brothers and sisters

his nuclear family was ten

two siblings had died

they were eight 

he had nothing in common with them

they lived half a country away and werent prone to communication

this year he finally stopped trying to communicate

he put away his pen and paperhis envelopes and stamps

stacks of copied letters he wrotecopied because he heard that something said attributed to him from his letters was in pure defiance of what he actually wrote stacks of letters in the corner of his studio he kept were evidence

imagine  evidence  evidence to make sure he wasnt misrepresented  among his family

they thought the things they saw on the wall were real

they knew nothing of the real causes of the shadows

his family

eventually they would disappear

one by one

taking bits of his heart as they did

he hoped he outlived them

because he knew the real forms whose shadows were cast against the wall 

he had evidence

if necessary

1746,  Sunday,  16  9. 18

1300,  Monday,  17  9. 18

Old White Male Republican Senators Want Their Way

Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.), the No. 3 in GOP leadership, told reporters that (Dr. Christine Blasey) Ford is “not really in a position to make conditions.”

much like the position one might assume Kavanaugh allegedly had Ford where she also couldnt make conditions

0944,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  19  9. 18

https://outlook.live.com/mail/inbox/id/AQMkADAwATYwMAItOTA3MS04MGZhLTAwAi0wMAoARgAAA3WjpKc7cPZFny%2BrLdaubrMHAMepe1zO4DpMpnJXM8BCucMAAAIBDAAAAMepe1zO4DpMpnJXM8BCucMAAeFpE%2BAAAAA%3D

On CBS

        three minutes and thirtyfive seconds (3:35) into the interview with Senator Kamala Harris an unidentified male interviewer asks: “Is it possible that while everything (Christine Blasey Ford – he refuses to say her name) feels is absolutely firm in her bones that she may have the wrong guy?”

the wrong guyhmm

                     I suggest that victims remember the person who victimised them  their tormentors  they forget -- conveniently    

Senator Harris then repeatedly cited that any nominee to the Supreme Court of the United States should undergo a complete and thorough vetting

                               because this FAKE PRESIDENT’s administration has been superlative in its vetting hasnt it for example  Flynn

1431,  Twosday,  18  9. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WJVEdPqwZs&feature=youtu.be&t=10s

Hey, Joe! (wharya goin with that gun in yer hand)

Whats up Franklin  Joe yelled as he was walking to the back of the liquorstore he turned around and began up the aisle

Joe! You won’t believe this.

Not usually he said not if I cant confirm it

You trust my math on our cash drawers so we can get the hell out of here, yeah?

I do I do not a job Id enjoy

Can I be sufficient confirmation?

Franklin  in your case Ill make an exception

Excellent.

Thanks for not saying perfect

You and your perfection: it doesn’t exist, not if mankind has his fingers in it.

Joe replied Not with his fingers in the pieNo  he stood across the counter from Franklin 

Franklin was damn near leering at himhis smile ridiculously large

So  Why did I walk all the way back up here

It’s worth it.

Suspensehuh  The suspense is killing me

It’s worth it.

You said that

I did. I just had to share with you, particularly because it’s you. I don’t think this would have happen for anyone else in this store’s employment or a fuckin soul I know . . . truly.

Should I blush

Nah. That’d be out of character.

Usually Im patient but you had me walk the entire length of the store because you herald me

Herald. I like that.

Like it some other time wouldja

Franklins smile grew impossibly larger it looked like it hurt

I closed out your tender.

As you do every night we work together

Yeah. But tonight’s special it’s a special night, a special night too since that black girl was all about you. I think she wanted to eat you alive.

Idve been all about being eatin alive Her husband however certainly didnt appreciate her unchecked enthusiasm although she was a little lit an people flee their shellscome out when their inhibition is tampered withunlocked Or so it seems 

Yeah. However you’re no different loaded or not. You don’t keep a muzzle; which elicits those of us who do to want to drop ours. But it aint natural to us.

Franklin youre young youve got time

Nah. Ain’t in the cards. She was a looker though.

She was

How old was she? You carded her.

I did  Crazy

How old was she?

Whawould you have guessed

Shit. Now I’ll guess older than I would have thought. 

Maybe if I dial it down.

Dialed down, I’d guess . . . thirtythree.

Fortysix

You shitting me, fortysix?

Fortysix

Wow. You know what they say.

I never know what they say or who the fuck they is

Franklin laughed hard You never break character.

Breaking character would be acting I havent time to act for anyone

No. That would also be out of character. What they saywhoever said it first beats the hell out of me . . . Black don’t crack.

Ive never heard that before

Never?!

No  though I understand its suggestion 

And you told her to be sure she thanked her parents; good genetics.

She has nothing to do with her looks except keep her health if she can They were both in great shape Id say athletes an athletes never give it up Not true athletes

Like yourself.

Thank you Been at it too long to let it go

I ought to get back to it.

Dont ought to  do it

Youre a fucking Nike commercial in the flesh

Cant say I know what a Nike commercial looks like If it aint in print likely I havent seen it

Fucking Neanderthal.

Neandertal T-a-l Not t-h-a-l  You ought to know since youve been on their dig sites

Thank you for the correction.

Youre welcome  So why am I standing here

Yeah.

Yeah

Your drawer. I closed you out, your cash, at fourtwenty sixtynine. Appropriate, huh?

it was Joes turn to laugh unabashed

                                       Man thats cool Well thank youthanks for sharing Makes my spine a bit more erect

Not that you need confirmation.

No I dont need confirmation Youre scary Franklin

No. You’re the scary one.

2134,  Saturday,  15  9. 18

1344,  Sunday,  16  9. 18