approaching her from behindheading up to the counter at the storefront he watched her raise her hand to her mouthher head going back and hold that pose for several seconds

quivering a bit

                Y  A  W  N

Nono no you just didnt yawn he said coming around in front of her

her eyes still sparkling with yawns tearsputting her hand over her mouth I did.

You gonna take that with you

Whatexcuse me?

The yawn big yawn are you gonna take it with youya cant leave it hereya leave it here Im gonna have people walking into it and suddenly theyll be yawningsuddenly Ohman I tired all of a sudden

she laughed

he kept a straight face pokerface

she broke off her laugh  You’re serious.

I am That yawnits emanation could possibly break their spirit they might pull back on their evening their plans suddenly overcomesuddenly tiredsuddenly taken down a peg their momentum broke

And all of it due to your  enormous  errant  yawn

You’re making me feel bad.

Well lemme ask ya  What are you doing this evening

Me?

You

Well, truth be known, I had plans but I decided to call them off. I’m tired this evening.

Youre tired this evening

I am. I made the plans earlier. I just don’t feel up to them tonight.

The Y A W N your yawn yagotta take it with you  Leave it here youll doom others to your nocturnal dysplasia your disarrangement  derangement 

See

This is crazy.

No Not crazyIve seen it before Though before I didnt cautiondidnt ask people to take their yawn withem when they left  But Im asking you

Please he was beginning to feel like he was begging please take your yawn with you

she didnt hear him

she was in the middle of another yawn . . A  A  A  W   W Nnnnall tonsils tongue and teeth  bright tears What? Excuse me. I didn’t hear you.

You have to take both your yawns with youplease otherwise youll be dooming my future customers its Friday night forcryinoutloud youll kill date nights delay romances cause undue whoknows kinds of suffering 

The webs we weave

she paid gathered up her package wordlessly avoiding his imploring eyes  Well

Well?  I don’t know how to do that.

Howbout when you get to the door stand there a moment and then yell IM GOING NOW YOU BETTER FOLLOW ME  GET ALONG NOW please

Thank you for shopping with us today

Hmmhmm.

the next customer in line stepped up and set their items on the counter  Happy Reggae Friday he said

Thank you, Hap . .

. . I’M GOING NOW YOU BEST FOLLOW ME . . .

Lots of eyes went up to the doorway where the woman stood then eyes looked back into the shop to see who might be hurrying to her voice

they didnt see anyone coming forward

of course not

yawns are only seen when theyre emitted

1859,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  6. 18                                                                                        1621,  Reggae Friday,  15  5. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVVFARIR0Tc

OhWow  Christ he hadnt seen a trailer of such inspired nonsense since the big screens Intermission of Rodriguez and Tarantinos Grindhouse although Machete was realised

1440 text and 1551,  Thursday,  14  6. 18

Awchrist no he sighed as he drifted up behind a Lexis SUV  he couldnt unsee it and seeing it the two would be at it 

IM DRIVING he growled

That say what I’m reading.

Easy  Im driving  I dont want trouble

Yes.  And she’s right, right as rain.

      

You might want to shaddup.

She’s proud, and she has every right to be proud, her man won, may the best man win, and there was no doubt he’d win because she wasn’t a man, no matter how hard she tried to act she was. I’m not even sure she’s a woman. But my man’s, indisputably, a man.

I’ll concede that, he thinks with his dick. He thinks his tie is subtle, a quiet suggestion of his manhood, I’d like to hang that piece of shit with it . .

. . Whoawhoa  WHOA Man Im driving

Asshole. He's driving. And you, you’re always first to be derogatory.

Derogatory? Regarding your poor excuse of a man? Damn right, he incenses me. A real man doesn’t cheat on hisready  wives. He’s entitled. He’s spoiledhe’s stupid. He’s fat.

the red light lingered

the white Lexis was impatiently tapping her brake her tail lights went RED opaque RED opaque RED opaREDopRED

Jesus Christquit with the brakes your bumper sticker isnt bad enough

I like it.

It’s shit. She’s shit.

Hey

A woman backing Trump? That isn’t a woman. That’s a turd.

How dar . .

. . QUIET  Both of you nowQuiet 

You’re on my side.

You are, you two are always ganging up on me. 

I didnt take a side here I just pulled up behind it

It is not an it. It’s a Lexis. The driver is a woman, who you ought to respect because you don’t know her from Adam. She’s a perfect stranger to you. Yet you have animus for her . .

. . I do  Admittedly  I have animus for everyone an anyone who saw Trump was fit to lead this nationfit to be Americas face around the world

He’s a liar. He’s immoral. He’s racist . .

. . He believes as I believe . .

. . Quiet Please

the light turned green and the bumper sticker pulled away from him

I’m a Trump Girl sticker rolled away and diminished in size

if it wasnt for the traffic behind him he would have been content to let the Lexis roll out of sight

as he came off his stop gently on the gasAhshit  shes going onto the highway

We’re going to have to sit behind her again.

Shaddup

I don’t mind waiting behind her. Maybe you two will finally get the message; you lost, he won, we won.

I hate ithate it that I gotta sit in between you two

he didnt have a better angel

he had a conscience

his conscience sat on either shoulder

You’re thinking about us again.

He’s confiding in us.

He isn’t confiding, we know what he’s thinking, Raqid . .

. . Would you quit with that?!

Gets your goat, doesn’t it, Raqid? Upsets your Trumpian mindset. Gee, did I say mind?  No   Upsets the Trumpish reptilian brain, racially hardwired; It ain’t right if it ain’t white . .

. . Shaddup! 

What are you doing here anyways? You’re diametrically opposed to everything we stand for, believe in.

STOP  Please   Stop Yourethe two of you are baked in the cake  Evidently Im genetically predisposed to try hard to understandweigh out both sides of an argument

You should have been in debate in high school.

I was in sports

Idiots. There’s nothing to debate. He’s a visionary. You can’t possibly understand a visionary.

A visionary?  I could buy into a voyeur. A voyeur watching whores, Russian whores are the best in the world, urinate on each other . .

. . Not true. Not true. A lie.

We dont know . .

. . He says it’s a lie. But he’s an inherent liar. 

Lets chalk it up to innuendo for the time beingWhat am I doing in this conversation

You’re talking to yourself.

Finally. Light’s changed. You can let Trump’s girl get lost in the traffic ahead of you.

Talking about lost Whats with Raqid

And now you?

Not now me  Im ignorant  What is Raqid or what does it meanyou mean

Would you like to take this, Raqid? I’d be Atid.

The devil . .

. . No. The Muslim scribe or angel, let’s keep to scribe though, who records all your bad deeds . .

. . Your blasphemies . .

. . Man, you’re a pain in the ass. You have to have religion to be a blasphemer. He doesn’t. You know that. Just poking around with a pointed stick trying to get a rise . .

. . Not that citing aspects of the Muslim faith isn’t poking with a stick?

You can’t help yourself can you Raqid?  How Trumpian, racist, a nonbeliever against a religion because it plays well to his base. Raqid here records your good deeds. A tally system if you would, sorted out when you died and went to Heaven; but you’re not going.

No Im going up in smoke  Ashes to ashes dust to dust

Muslims are bad.

Christians are bad.

Nothing?

You see the White House’s video for the summit with Kim Jong Un?

Truly visionary.

evidently Atidthats what he called himselfAtid  was having the last word

he was pulling up at work parking the car going to entertain himself with stocking merchandise and harassing customers 

naively they think hes a cashier

nope  gatekeeper

dont entertain him an they aint walking out door with their booze

1622,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  6. 18

1114,  Thursday,  14  6. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVVFARIR0Tc

my apologeezs to Mr. Kendrick Lamar  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZTYgq4EoRo&index=2&list=PLmWFAdSzTPQWmSk1rs6uTyKaIkSlDjkrG couldnt help myself

wrioting

                     disillusionment

                                                                                                                                                                                   delusion

disillusionment

he knew it was  he knew it was as he wokehis eyes blurry  woke  and  watched  the texturing on the wall at his feet melt  go flaccid without blemish  serenely flat    hardmirror flat

                                                              the sunlight falling on it moments beforerevealing its blemishes now glances and reflects and sees itself on the wall adjacent at his right painting a concise rainbowribboned arc as if it were revealed through a prism

he knew that was disillusionment

                                   for yet in a hypnagogic phase or fashion he rightly knew that the driedmud smeared on plasterboard for texture beneath the paint could not melt like bits of congealed butter  he knew that he willed it he smoothed it with his mind and willingly saw it 

he did not actually see it

had he seen it

he would have deluded himself

                              and his reasoning was too acutetoo raw to ever actually see something that was not there

his roommateshis ghosts were there

                                   their breaths on the back of his neckon his facemaking him flinch like a babehis name said audiolised perhaps kin to idolised idol-eyed idolatry giveidleatry they made him giddyspooks can do that  and just when sex was thought primeval to males giddy their goofy fuckfaces declaring Im cummin!  a spookll do that
a suckubus  an incubutt theyll make you put chewed gum where you wouldnt chew it again

they were his frenetic reality

                            not frantick disillusionment

not Somewhere Over the Rainbow delusion coloured Oz blackandwhite Kansas tapping rubyred slipperheels together Theres no place like home Theres no place like home Theres no place like home

delusion

one worked hard to delude themselves aint talking psychoticbreaks like windows psychicslips on ice or bananapeels

the first time he saw The Wizard of Oz he didnt see the coloured OZ until he shared the movie with his daughters in the 80s Awcomon  The tornado would have eaten her alive

SHUSH! Watch the movie.

he relished the righteous apple trees nobody touched his fruit unless he wanted them to

   

lazy 1000ish in bed,  Sunday,  10  6. 18

1212,  Monday,  11  6. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nauLgZISozs

why call it a summithow is it possibly called a summit a rose by any other name . . . other than the principals indulging themselves and they call it a summit   

a summit  once an achievement  can apparently be determined and attained by nothing more than synchronised chin music saying so

this summit this illustrious high bar is difficult to crawl under  and was nothing more than an international photo-op the worlds media acting like paparazzi they covered a farce  and by their coverage they helped legitimise it  they helped legitimised a couple of  of  playground thugsSTOP suppose Shakespeare gets his due again  a playground = all the world is a stage  correction  a playground thug and a wannabe thug  though he hadnt seen any inclinations the president would have family members executedSTOP

the shenanigans were a staged dog and pony show convened for the principals their array of cohortscowhorets

amounting to nothing more than a televised preening of individuals intent on themselvestheir countries be damned

the few moments he looked in on itpeeking through a glory hole they punched in the wall  what he saw was mutual unabashed simultaneous tugging at the others dick their eyes starry blinded by the spotlight they assume history shines     

The Supreme Leader would be very hard to unseat

The President already has a one foot a portion of his posterior and the end of his tie out the door

2216,  Twosday,  12  6. 18

0954,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  6. 18

952 days remaining or fewer

hed been calling homenot really home  the house his parents lived in hed always call homenever having a house of his own  homehis childhood home  was razed by a polack builder who kept his feelers outcertainly wasnt his ear to the ground who learned his that parents bid on a house had been acceptedobviously it was their intention to use the proceeds from the sale of their house to acquire their new home  the polack used their excitementfinally finding a new place to leverage the abolishment of a clause that they required the polack accept  requiring him not to tear down the house  the once sole house on hundreds of acres of farmland  the farm house of a farm sold and divvied up into lots and thereby makingcomprising the neighbourhood he grew up in 

when he was a kid there were many undeveloped lots in each block of the neighborhood holes between homes   

the kids called them prairies  prairies of shoots of trees of grassland stands of trees  cobbled forts childish intrigues holds  keeps safe places  refuges to recline in small campfires at their sprawled feet  loose shoelaces that begged like wicks to powder kegs

hed been calling home regularlyhis folks hadnt been well

his siblings werent attentivebitched how faraway the folks had moved and frankly they didnt see it was their obligation to check in on them They made their bed. They could lie in it.

his perspective was different

he reminded them they took years and years of free childcare free meals for their children free overnights free laundry free bussing to and fro different schools freeing them up to work so they could save money to buy the houses they lived in

That was their choice they countered

You asked them for their help

They could have said no.

No  Im the only one in this family who says no  Youre fucking polacks the kind of polacks that should have tipped off his parents to the polack they sold their house to                   

ingrates 

thieves

a polack gets away with calling Polish people polacks as Black people get away with calling their own niggers  dont ever feel free to racially disparage someone  its reason enough to have your face broke  bring it before the Lawcunt more than reason enough to have your throat cut   betraying your manhoodyour womanhood

hed been calling home regularly  then amid that in storage he was keeping storage for his daughterstheir thingstheir mothers things things for them to sort throughdecide to keep or not   it was only money 

his money

in storage he recovered a small bowling ball that had always been hished taken with him when he left home last century

it was his ball

yet he never understood why it was hiswhy his siblings hadnt their own balls

he was keenly aware of thatkeenly aware of the  animosity   what the ballwhen present configured in them  resentment  detest  Why him?which was the same as Why not me?

they were greedy even as children

so calling home he finally asked his motherhe would have asked his father if his father wasnt napping  Tell me about my bowling ball Ive known it to be mine always but I dont know why I dont know the back story

We haven’t told you?

You haventthough Ive never asked either 

Oh goodness. That was a baby gift to you from Cliff and Al, their wives Mugs and Vera. Your father bowled on North Avenue at Cliff and Al’s lanes, don’t ask me, I don’t remember the name of the alley, but we had a fond affection for them, we used to take you as a baby to their tavern and restaurant at the southeast corner of Golf Mill when the shopping center was being built, I can’t remember the name of the restaurant either, it’s been torn down now, but they thought you were, thought you were the berries. Bob’s baby. Karol’s baby. Hope you make more babies, because if this one is any indication of what might follow they would be worth having.

Did they have children

No. They didn’t. But they certainly fell in love with you. The ball’s called a duck ball, used with duckpins. When you’re teaching a child to bowl that was the ball they used. They had that ball years and years before they gave it to you. They were older than your father and I, in their fifties, although the age difference between us didn’t matter, we were good friends, we certainly enjoyed each other’s company.

That’s the backstory to your bowling ball.

You ought to write it down so you don’t forget it.

1124,  Sunday,  10  6. 18

1710, Sunday,  10  6. 18

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/sports/duckpin-bowling.html

there are hundreds of billions of neurons in our brains

there are hundreds of billions of galaxies surrounding us

among the Milky Way alone there are an estimated ten million to a billion black holes

I think it is probable we have black holes in our heads supping on our lost thoughts and memories 

1355 text,  Monday,  4  6. 18

2206,  Monday,  11 6. 18

The Three Stooges

I cant believe the United States has allowed a slapstick team The Three Stooges Moe Curly and Larry to represent our interests in Singapore with North Koreas Kim Jong Un  

a preposterous liar  an enabler and sycophant  and a Johnny-Come-Lately National Intelligence advisor who is not only a sycophant but is also someone who relieslike the president only on their opinion  they couldnt give a rats ass what anyone else might think

I hope scribes are in the room with them recording for us their every word

I dont trust any of one of them to truly relate what was said in the room

1527 text,  Monday,  11  6. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UDu4IEkPPI  

cunt would have us believe hes been preparing all his life for this meeting with North Koreas Kim Jong Un: https://www.msnbc.com/brian-williams/watch/what-to-expect-from-trump-s-high-stakes-summit-with-north-korea-1251807299517

kestrel  falcon  hawk 

                        one of the three 

Handsome hed known handsome women so he figured if the raptor were a female she wouldnt take offence to him telling her  

shehe looked down on him from herhis perch on a swaying liquoriceblack electrical line adjusting to the lines movement subtly  not giving their balance whoa  whoa whoawhoa   whoa lipservice 

whoas not so elegant for so elegant a creature

if he stood on the line beside herhim despite his sense of balance his keen athleticism  a slick wavering a sudden wind at his back would drop him like a stone

Dont look at me that wayyou got wings

maybe it wasnt a look of haughtiness  maybe pity

shehe was gorgeous

he had glanced up from his book in time to see the flurry arching through the sky across the intersection and enter a live oak treetop ten metres off the road the intersection was noisy busy he could never figure out how this sprawling rural township generated the kind of traffic it didimpatient traffic quick at their horns quick with their violating fingers though he had to acknowledge it was a highway-signed gas exit off the 101 and the 101no matter where along its length and breadth was a mad caustic artery of GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY funnier he thought that that mentality also reigned at its clotted urban junctures despite therm being bumper-to-bumper

he managed to catch the flurry of feathers enter the oaks spacey green and brown canopy

he considered it was a big pigeonthere was a sizable kit of escaped carrier pigeons aloft and roosting in the area

then suddenly it exploded out of the treeleaves rustling and swooped up onto a bellied electric line hung between decrepit woodpoles bearing crooked nailsrusting nails thin staplestatters of paper posters as if they served as personal kiosks for every Tom Dick or Harrys garage sale missing pets or lonelyhearts pleano shame

shehe landed directly above his headswinging the line negotiating its momentary physics then fixing itself like an immovable brick

looking up he turned and backpedaled Dont shit on me until he had a good angle to admire shehe

it tilted its beaklooked over its breast wideeyed  the thin lizard crepe around them peeled back  an ocular moment
and when one makes eyecontact with the beast one feels the beast inside them slither uncomfortably were humans were supposed to be beyond slithering we reticulaterespond at a hot bloodred cellular level we can smell sweat sulphur earth iron taste gall and bile bitter blackcrystal vomit from the well deepdeep inside us   reptilian   coldbloodied  liberating   he wasnt going to break off this visual interlewd   

a spider crawling in his brain tickled him as he wondered what shehe might be thinkingwhat ran through their brain  something dynamic did  dumbluck goodfortune isnt spread to creatures who have to kill to live

What are you thinking

The shit you creatures take for granted  the things you big strong bipedal freaks do  and call life

shehe shruggedfeathers curled I have to find something to eat shehe crouched . .

. . No Leaving  I could stand here all day admiring you . .

. . and shat  then launched themselves through the live oak itd come from and wings widespread took the updraft the hill before it forced on the air currents riding a wide invisible wash he couldnt imagine or see         

1243 text,  Monday,  4  6. 18

1409,  Saturday,  9  6. 18

Tricky  Wash My Soul  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtBdFFyuhf8